Food for Thought
by RakeeshJ4
Summary: How does Konoha eat, anyway? Why does Naruto care? A story about how Naruto decided to go slow and steady, in at least one way, towards his dream of becoming Hokage. Has expanded to become an action/adventure/intrigue story. Rated 'M' for chapter 11
1. Prologue: Specials Board

A note on timing: this story has the potential to become AU, but unless otherwise noted is set in canon, shortly after Naruto's return to Konoha with Jiraiya near the beginning of Part 2. For now, just consider this squeezed into the cracks between canon events. In my head, there are all sorts of spaces between missions unless specified. For example, the timeframe in which Naruto worked to improve rasengan, could've been months even though he didn't spend _all_ of that time on that work! He's a soldier of Konoha, in addition to being Uzumaki Naruto, after all, and regular things have to get done.

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If there was one fact of life understood by Uzumaki Naruto, it was food. His colleagues might've said, "Oh, you mean _ramen_, not food!" if asked. An unsurprising mistake since Naruto is to ramen and leadership ambition as Jiraiya is to voyeurism and stinginess and Tsunade to booze and gambling. Kakashi of course had a lock on tardiness and porn. Unlike his friends, Naruto knew that food belonged in a different category from his ideals.To him these were virtues such as courage, mischief, hard work, devotion to friends, selflessness, hard work, forgiveness, and optimism, with liberal doses of kicking ass where necessary. The things which kept him going were what made life worth living, but food was a thing which made life possible in the first place.

One thing that fueled Naruto's forgiveness and optimism was the understanding that people's circumstances contribute to their actions. While a firm believer in the supremacy of choice, his childhood taught him that choices became a _lot_ easier if the circumstances were better. A wealthy man might be a thief, but that rich dude wouldn't be pressed to consider thievery while in the market because his mouth started to water at the scent of food.

Naruto knew that if a rampaging long-eared demon with more tails than qualms hadn't come along and mistaken Konoha for a buffet, the question of whether or not to blame a newborn for anything would never have come up. He was capable of recognizing that even though the people of Konoha had largely made the _wrong_ choice—to blame or at least disregard him—they should never have been faced with that choice in the first place, and so were, in that respect, crummy people rather than horribly evil bastards. They're just people, and very few weren't crummy in one way or another, after all. What was responsible for Naruto's arrival at this mercifully detached perspective?

Naruto's understanding of food gets the credit. The demon-host--he calls himself a demon _slumlord_ because that sounds more badass, and keeps his thumb firmly in Kyuubi's eye--didn't always have enough. Sandaime couldn't be entirely blamed for the hit-or-miss upbringing which led to this. He was after all an old and extremely busy man, and Naruto was not a squeaky wheel when it came to embarrassing problems. For training and equipment, he squealed like an informant in a gangster movie. But when it came to the Great Ramen Shortage That One March (Vol.1), Naruto clammed up like a loyal gangster in that same movie. "Hey, gramps, I…uhh…spent all my money early this week, so I've got nothing for food for the next four days," was something he should've said more than once, but didn't. As a boy, he hadn't completely slipped through the cracks, but sometimes his foot got stuck. Konoha's version of DCF being swamped and sometimes horribly incompetent—see Uchiha Massacre—coupled with an overworked Hokage, mixed with a dash of disregard and unfair prejudice meant that Naruto didn't always get the proper oversight and training in how to do things such as budget and cook and clean, those mundane tasks reserved for adulthood in a kinder world. He learned and learned well, but because the lessons were erratic, they took time to stick. Hatake Kakashi could speak to that.

Thus Naruto learned that desperate or awful circumstances put a whole slew of choices on the table that wouldn't even be considered otherwise. Konoha not being an intemperate region--not situated in the land of _fire_ for nothing--freezing to death wasn't an issue. Not being Suna, nor was thirst. Owing either to his family background or his demon squatter, medical care wasn't needed. Shelter was secured without being ritzy: Sandaime wasn't _that_ overworked. That left food, and although his contemporaries might've thought his comical lust for stuffing his face with ramen was simply another Konoha ninja idiom, like Kakashi's porn, it's really born of a _need_, like alcohol for Tsunade. Unlike his peers, with the exception of Fuzzy Eyebrows, Naruto's gut had known the gnawing emptiness of true hunger, the kind which threatens starvation if left unattended, not just an uncomfortable afternoon waiting for dinner. Perhaps that was one of the reasons both he and Fuzzy Eyebrows were so gung-ho: they were trying to get as far away from painful hunger as possible, and life had taught them both food got into your belly by _work_. The rest, the hunger for recognition and respect, was achieved through the same means, but food came first.

Among Naruto's many special gifts was the ability to turn disadvantage and suffering, past and present, into an edge and happiness. A few months after his return from a years-long training journey with Jiraiya, Naruto began to apply this blessing to his ambitions…

OOOO---

Author's Note: Howdy, Naruto fanfic readers! This is the first Naruto fanfic I've written, and I'm eager to hear what people think. This is just the prologue to what will be a multi-chaptered story. I don't promise epic length (in fact I would be shocked if it was), or even more than a few thousand words. I got an idea in my head: how does a so-called _hidden_ village get food, anyway? Feeding such a large population requires a lot more farmland than we can see within the walls of Konoha, not to mention various manufactured goods which can't _all_ be produced there. So I thought, "You know, a story reflecting the saying about armies and stomachs," could be interesting. I hope it is. From this point on, the focus of the story will tighten to chapters about Naruto's involvement with how the food gets out of the ground (or off of the bone) to the steaming bowl of rameny-goodness, or the juicy tenderness of barbecue delight. Or, I dunno, dango I _guess_…though I'd never tell her to her face, Mitarashi Anko's choice of foods is woefully inferior!

I have no idea what sort or number of reviews I'll get, but I do have a favor to ask of anyone who takes the time: I'm not interested in one-line praises (this assumes, of course, that this story is interesting enough to merit praise at all! A possibly unwarranted assumption), but from what I've seen on this website, they're very, very common. So please, if you're going to review, include at least ONE piece of criticism concerning what you think needs improvement, and maybe even a suggestion on how to do so!


	2. Chapter 1: A Scent of Ramen in the Air

"Granny Tsunade, you've _gotta _be kiddin'!" Naruto growled at his commander. The deceptively youthful woman snorted at the way her pseudo-grandson made _sure_ she didn't relent to his wishes by talking to her like that. Not that she would've relented anyway, of course. Glancing at her desk and the mission profile, she couldn't help but smirk and smile sweetly up at the tall young man. Long gone were the outraged outward displays of temper that used to greet Naruto's flair for nicknames. Tsunade wasn't a Sannin because she let her opponents keep the upper hand forever. She still made him pay for it, though. Naturally.

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**Mission Profile**

**Rank:**** Low-B**

Assigning Officer: Umino Iruka

Assignee: Uzumaki Naruto

Duration: 6-8 days

Pay: Standard low-B-ranked chuunin fee

Description: Assignee is to accompany Shonigawa Fujita's supply caravan out of Konoha, following security routes through our forests, out of Konoha Security Zone, arriving at Lord Shonigawa Mamoru's plantation. There the assignee will guard the workers while they load the shipment, and accompany Fujita's caravan back to Konoha.

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_Like I'd sit still for _that_, even for Iruka-sensei!_ Naruto nodded indignantly to himself. _It'll rain ramen before I take this junk assignment!_ He harrumphed for good measure. When he bothered to, Naruto was quite good at masking his feelings. He wasn't bothering to. But Naruto suddenly paid a lot more attention to Granny's blathering. "_What_ about manure?" He suddenly felt like a bottle of sake that'd done the Slug Princess wrong. She hadn't expunged _all_ displays of temper from her dealings with him.

"Well, brat, as I was saying-you _were_ paying attention, _weren't you?_" a quick nod from the brat in question, "I _was _going to do you a favor and _not_ instruct Fujita-san to expect your help on the farm via shadow clone while you guard them, but maybe you need some character-building exercises. I don't quite remember…isn't it time for planting?" she wondered aloud, an immaculate fingernail tapping an equally immaculate chin.

"Not necessary, ma'am!" Naruto saluted sharply. The Legendary Sucker appeared a bit surprised that her unexplained threat was so effective, but Naruto had an understanding of what went on during planting time, and the types of fertilizers associated with that process. Wallowing in a feces-strewn rice-paddy was _not_ a memory he wanted to absorb, thankyouverymuch! Faster than Kakashi eating in front of his students, the mission profile folder was snatched from her deceitfully delicate hands. (Jiraiya had once earned a beating he was probably going to get anyway by claiming, "Those hands are worse liars than the nearest friend brothel!" before hopping a toad for that same brothel, to wench and drink his deceitful-fist troubles away. And dull the pain.) As he ducked out the window, his face scrunched up in outrage at feminine peals of laughter clearly audible behind him. Unknown to her latest victim, the Legendary Sucker had won a bottle of the good stuff from Iruka, who was justifiably convinced Naruto would _never_ voluntarily take this mission. Tsunade chalked up her shocking gambling luck to karmic repayment for letting Naruto get her necklace, and taking on this dreadfully temperate job. _And speaking of dreadful temperates…_Tsunade thought with a sigh as Shizune knocked once and entered with a reproachful frown.

Meanwhile, somewhere between the Hokage's window and street pizza, Naruto's hands moved in the familiar forms while his too-sharp incisors chomped down on a finger to draw some blood. Since this wasn't a combat situation, Naruto drew a deep breath and belted out, "_Kuchiyose no jutsu!_" and his best friend who didn't self-heat appeared. "Bro!" he squawked, a pipe dropping from his mouth as his eyes bulged comically while they fell. Snorting in amusement, Naruto snatched the pipe out of the air and gripped Gamakichi's vest tightly before yelping. "Ow-ow-ow!" he hissed, shaking his hand as the hot ash spilled on his fingers.

"Serves you right, bro! Man, I thought you were Pop! _And_ you cost me more good tobacco!" he growled. "What's the freakin' hurry, anyway?" he inquired. It was quite difficult to hide vices from a parent who could literally snatch you out of thin air into his presence with a thought. Though Gamakichi had grown faster than usual into a good bear-sized toad from repeated excursions (combat, and just shootin' the shit) with Naruto, he was still underage. He was in fact getting pretty big for his britches—not that he wore britches—but was dreadfully worried that his old man would find out what had been happening to his best pipe weed. Even though it took dozens of pounds to fill up his gigantic pipe even once, Gamabunta was an enormous, stingy, belligerent gangster-toad. He kept track!

"Err…I just needed to get to the Rice Gate real quick, that's all!" Naruto replied a little too casually. A glance behind by Gamakichi and the shoe was on the other flipper. "Ha!" he chuckled, noting the Hokage Tower with its open window shrinking behind them. "Tsunade-hime scairt ya off again, din't she?" he snickered as with a thump followed by a mighty hop, he rocketed into the air with a couple hundred pounds of ninja holding onto his back.

"Oh, bite me, damned toad! Maybe I'll see if I can stay in the Boss's good books by finding out where his baccy's been disappearin' to?" he mused aloud. "Alright, alright! Geeze, bro! Ya wouldn't drop a dime on _me_, wouldya?" Gamakichi whimpered before another hop finished up the second leg of their journey to the Rice Gate. Rather than watching educational television, the pair watched TV mostly to pick up more colorful euphemisms.

"Well, you wouldn't kick your friend when he's down, wouldya?" Naruto echoed right back at him, smug in his verbal victory. His competitiveness didn't stop with physical fights, as a walking Uchiha storm cloud could tell you. If he ever admitted how much it irritated him out loud, and didn't kill you for looking like you might not think Uchiha was the greatest. But with Gamakichi securely back in position as _younger_ brother in their relationship, Naruto had little to do for the next few seconds while they flew through the air except think about the upcoming mission. Naruto's mind was fast-paced and erratic, so he'd thought briefly about ramen, Sakura-chan, a new technique he was considering, how to gloss over his defeat at Granny's hands the next time he saw Iruka-sensei, and then shivered a little when he recalled her threat.

_That_ got him thinking just how important this mission was in spite of all his complaining. _After all, Konoha has to keep its granaries and stockyards full_ he reminded himself. Most Konoha shinobi knew of the ominous rumblings from Iwagakure and Kumogakure, who were antagonistic above and beyond most shinobi groups. Iwa had played a vital role in getting its ass kicked by Konoha about thirty years ago. People with an eye to history knew that those kinds of defeats weren't forgotten, and the next generation often wants payback. As for Kumo, they really should've known better and counted their blessings. Despite widespread knowledge of the attempt to liberate Hyuuga Hinata's eyes from their sockets by leaders on both sides, Kumo still had the balls to demand the corpse of the man who stopped it. Despite appearances to the contrary, the powers that be of Konoha—Sarutobi, when he flexed his muscle; Danzou, who always flexed his muscle; and ANBU and jounin corps—were ready, willing, and eager to go to war. Attempting to kidnap and eventually murder—or even worse things—a child something that got even the normally peace-loving blood of Konoha positively boiling. Had Hyuuga dysfunctional family politics not come into play, there was a strong chance that Kumo would've come to be hidden in smoke and rubble instead of clouds.

Naruto knew the importance of these supply caravans went deeper than simply being prepared in 'interesting times'. If he were a sociologist he could tell you that when food supplies are low, even if there wasn't widespread hunger, the populace grew nervous and behaved differently. While Naruto didn't know _that_—he wasn't a Nara—he knew it was important to keep the granary and supply warehouse full, because growing up it'd been important to keep the pantry and equipment cabinet full. Keeping the closet full was just as important, but much easier. For _some_ reason, the shop owner had given him an amazing bulk discount on his old trademark orange. Jiraiya had been surprised to discover that once Naruto understood how tightly linked civilians were with Konoha's supply base, he required no further instruction in the importance of protecting civilians. It just reinforced his desire to protect Konoha.

But since Naruto knew all of that already, in the seconds it took to arrive at the Rice Gate, he understood that this mission was important to Konoha, despite being boring. The beginnings of an idea for how it could be useful to him in particular were sparking too. He resolved to think on it in more detail when he got the opportunity. "Here we are bro!" Gamakichi exclaimed happily. His verbal defeat was forgotten in light of the pride he felt in being so useful at such a young age. Few toads still wearing the proverbial short pants got called upon so often. For example, he all but _never_ got called up by Jiraiya, whereas Naruto could be relied upon to summon him almost daily.

"Thanks Gamakichi. You wanna hang out while I see what's what?" he asked, and the gigantic toad nodded. "Cool, but remember what I said: _no Aburames!_" he growled and Gamakichi nodded quickly while hopping through the gate into the surrounding forest, hoping to find a tasty morsel that _wouldn't_ get his brother into boatloads of trouble. It took Naruto a moment to search the area crowded with corrals, teamsters, hostelries, oxen, small carts, huge wagons, and people, people, people. It wasn't called the 'Rice Gate' for color; it earned the name because it was the primary entry and exit point for Konoha's supply caravans. An unkind person might call the people there hayseeds, but as we have seen Naruto knew their worth, and his idea was bouncing around his head in earnest now. He spotted the caravan nearest the gate and most empty-looking, chaperoned by a very bored looking chuunin.

Naruto trotted over to be greeted by a slight widening of the eyes and an irritated expression. He'd gotten over holding a grudge over that. Mild irritation was an improvement over cold disregard after all, and a sign that his work was paying off. "Ahhh, good morning Uzumaki-san," the chuunin nodded with bureaucratic courtesy. "Are you the escort?" he inquired, face saying that he hoped this wasn't the case. Naruto scowled briefly as much for the bureaucratic tedium, but nodded and handed over the mission folder. "Yup, that's me. Where's Shonigawa-san?" he asked, grinning inwardly at the surprised expression on the chuunin's face at the lack of shouting or vows including the word 'Hokage!' _Good thing Ero-sennin taught me about this_ Naruto reflected; lessons taught by Jiraiya helped him understand that public opinion had moderated from widespread cold dislike to a sort of genial contempt. His legendary childhood mischief coupled with brilliant victories as a genin had combined to make an impression. Thus instead of anger at being looked down upon, Naruto wisely deemed it progress.

The surprised chuunin pointed out a short, dark-skinned man whose clothes were clean but travel worn. He was shouting orders to his teamsters, pointing and gesturing to the rising sun angrily. The chuunin kept the mission folder and nodded politely at Naruto, returning to his work. He paused briefly before almost muttering, "Good luck, Uzumaki-san," and Naruto's face lit up a bit. _One more down_ he thought with a smile. In a hearts-and-minds campaign such as his, every individual victory was to be cherished, and he felt that way about _every _struggle, which helped explain his optimism. His good cheer dimmed as the closer he got, the more Shonigawa reminded him of Tsunade what with all the pointing and yelling.

"Damnit, man, are you _trying_ to make us camp out an extra day? What, you _want_ us to have to break camp at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow to make our deadline? What are you _waiting_ for, breakfast in bed? Assholes and elbows people, look sharp! **MOVE IT!**" he bellowed. The younger teamsters appeared more frightened than the older hands, sitting idly at the reins waiting. _He's sort of like a rude, crude teamster Super-Fuzzy Eyebrows!_ Naruto thought nervously, steeling himself, when the man spun around and stared up at him. The gesture, though quick for a civilian, wasn't for a shinobi and so Naruto wasn't startled. The man also reminded him a bit of Tazuna the bridge builder, minus the booze. _Gotta go visit Inari soon_ he reminded himself.

"You! I take it you're our guard?" Shonigawa demanded imperiously. Naruto nodded, keeping his face blithely friendly. "That's right, Shonigawa-san. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I'll be escorting you out of Konoha to Shonigawa-sama's plantation." His tone was polite without being obsequious, and not the least bit threatened by the supervisor's antics. In a world with Sakura, Tsunade, and Jiraiya, Shonigawa Fujita's intimidation factor was nil. He offered a hand and had it gripped firmly by a dusty, calloused grip after a pause. The man seemed a bit surprised at the down-to-earth amiable gesture. In his experience, most shinobi either looked down, however slightly, on 'civvies', or were too paranoid to do things like restrict a hand for friendliness. Shonigawa nodded sharply. "Uzumaki-san? Where've I heard that name before?" he wondered and then continued like a bull in a china shop before Naruto could reply. "Forget about it, good t'meet ya! I'm Shonigawa Fujita, but y'call me Fujita, right? Shonigawa-san is my old man, not me, I work for a livin'! Right! Well this is my caravan, eh? I guess you'll wanna take a look around, get yourself acquainted fore we head out, eh?"

Naruto smiled gratefully. Fujita, he could tell, was his sort of people. "Right, well I've spent almost as much time with my hands on a mop as I have on a shuriken, so just call me Naruto, neh?" he asked, thinking ruefully of his many punishments at Iruka's hands. That man could sniff out a dirty floor like Kakashi scenting dirty movies. "And yeah, I need to take a look. Gimme a minute or two," he said and his hands moved in the familiar gesture. _"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"_ he said in a firm whisper, and small puffs of smoke and wobbling whiny noises raised the number of Narutos at the Rice Gate by twenty. "Right, you guys!" Naruto grabbed their attention before they could begin to act up. "Inspect Fujita-san's convoy, and get acquainted with the look and smell of everyone and everything in it! _TWO MINUTES!_" he commanded, and with a sharp salute—for one of the few people Naruto never minded saluting was himself—the doppelgangers got to work, ducking and darting and climbing and crawling in, around, under, above, and around every inch of the caravan. They politely introduced themselves to everyone in it, and less politely took a strong, deliberate whiff of each of them.

At Fujita's surprised and confused look, Naruto took the time to explain, earning still _more_ surprise. "You've probably seen ordinary clones before in your convoys," he said and Fujita's face quirked at this contradiction-in-terms. "Those are just chakra-warped light images that can move at the guidance of their creator. _These_ copies are different! I compress and twist chakra into the shape I want-me, of course!" he grinned, "and poof! Real, live shadow clones. Once I bust em back down t'chakra, I'll absorb all their memories, and we can get movin'," he concluded, pleased at the impressed look on Fujita's face.

"Oh, well, err…thank you for the explanation, Naruto-san," he offered, and looked a bit lost just waiting there next to the tall warrior with no one to yell at. Their work done, the clones began disincorporating one by one in rapid succession. Naruto held himself still, eyes closed, for a few seconds while he absorbed and integrated their knowledge. "Right! All done, Fujita-san, ready when you are," and at that the supervisor visibly deflated. "Next time, take longer so I can still yell at em!" he hissed up at Naruto, who laughed in surprise. "You need an excuse? Never woulda guessed, boss," he replied and with that word, 'boss' instead of 'client', the friendship was made. For although Naruto thought his job was cooler (it was), and knew he could whip the entire caravan's ass with one arm and one leg (he could), he considered himself no better as a _person_ than anyone there, and it showed. That would change, of course, when he became acquainted with who was a jerk, who was lazy, that sort of thing, but he didn't bring any personal superiority with him to this mission.

"Ha! Well, this lazy crew would tell ya I didn't, but they don't sign the checks, damnit! Right! **OK YOU LOT! MOVE IT!**" he bellowed, and the sound of cracking whips and creaking wheels heralded their journey into the forests surrounding Konoha, professionally known as Konoha Security Zone.

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Author's Notes: Right, here's chapter one. I hope you enjoy it, as I'm trying to blend what I think of as 'Daily Naruto' with the more serious side of things, because I think no matter how much he learns, he's still gonna be one mischievous SOB. Gamakichi will play more than a passing role in this story as well. To my mind, someone as lonely as Naruto with as much chakra as him…why WOULDN'T he summon up instant friend whenever he got the opportunity? This also means I get to explain why Gamakichi is so big so quickly. Some fics have him this size in just a matter of years, without making mention that if they grew that fast normally, there'd probably be a LOT of Gamabuntas!

The two or three people reading this might have guessed what Naruto's idea is, but I'll explain it here. In my story, Naruto knows enough to understand that becoming Hokage involves at least some politics. This means that he has to win people over. He has also learned that while you can win _ninja_ over by being good-hearted and kicking ass, civilians can be a bit trickier. They live in a different world, and any ninja can kick their ass anyway, thus they don't care so much about that. These things he learned mostly from Jiraiya, but what he DIDN'T learn from Jiraiya is the importance of food.

His idea is that he will incorporate boring-but-important missions like these into his hearts-and-minds campaign to win over everyone in Konoha. Not only does an army march on its stomach, but the quickest way to someone's heart is through I hope this chapter was enjoyable to you, and thattheir stomach as well. You'll let me know what you think, preferably what you think was _bad_, so I can learn from my mistakes!


	3. Chapter 2: Have a Seat!

**CONFIDENTIAL**

_Local Security_

_Konohagakure, Land of Fire_

_May 3, _

_From: Shizune_

_Subject: Konoha Security Zone Field Guide_

_Priority: Ongoing; forward monthly to all necessary personnel_

_To: All Konoha shinobi with duties in the Konoha Security Zone_

_**Introduction:**_

_This field guide is designed to acquaint all personnel with one of the most important elements of Konoha's defense, the KSZ. Attached are the tactical maps and flora/fauna reports you will need. Report monthly to your superiors for the latest security updates._

_Shortly after the foundation of Konoha, the Shodaime Hokage was among the first of the Kage to conceal their strongholds. Although our home was born on a nearly impregnable mountain stronghold and guarded by daunting mokuton walls, the Shodaime was not satisfied. After years of effort, innumerable primordial trees surrounded our home. These were not forests, for mokuton techniques did not create whole ecosystems. But with the help of his brother, the Nidaime, and the revered founders of the Aburame clan, it was transformed into a beautiful yet forbidding forest. Thus the KSZ was born._

_The Shodaime was inspired to this by what we call the 44__th__ Battle Training Zone, also known as the Forest of Death. The origins of this mysterious forest remain unknown, but by carefully transporting plant and animal life from the Forest of Death to the KSZ and utilizing chakra techniques to speed their spread and growth, Konoha's protection was ensured for years to come._

_The Shodaime crafted many disguised guard posts and redoubts as the massive trees that are an icon of the KSZ. The Nidaime founded rivers great and small amongst the trees, and connected them to Konoha's reserve aquifers against a future time of need. The Aburame helped make the forest a reality, using their insects to transplant thousands of plant and insect species, as well as deploying many insects that are feared for their lethality to this day._

_Konoha carries on this legacy by modifying and improving the KSZ. With enemies such as Orochimaru and Uchiha Itachi at large, we dare not let our defenses stagnate. Extended patrols are a common assignment for Konoha shinobi above genin rank. Also of great importance are escort duties for the many convoys that connect Konoha with the numerous settlements in the KSZ. These towns and villages supply Konoha with the raw materials and food we need to maintain our standard of living and withstand attack, as well as provide an outlet for our manufactured goods. It's not glamorous, but the work is absolutely vital to our ongoing survival._

_All personnel are ordered by the authority of the Godaime Hokage to maintain a detailed knowledge of the KSZ and all the latest developments. Our enemies are cunning and numerous, and we must have defense in depth. Good hunting and Godspeed!_

___ Tactical Maps…_

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"Damn right we're not! My grandfather Shonigawa-sama, he owns the plantation _and_ some stakes in Wakaga!" Fujita was finally calming down. The verbal guided tour/haranguing started shortly after the caravan left Konoha. It owed to Naruto's expectation that the settlement would be, in his words, "…just some houses and a buncha fields, right?" Naruto had offended the man's provincial bias, and was quite well-informed and chastened by the time the lecture drew to a close. Despite smarting over the rebuke, he couldn't curb his curiosity. _Maybe it's some super-tough iron for weapons!_ he thought as he asked about the mine.

"The mine, Naruto-kun?" Fujita echoed with a bit of surprise. Few shinobi wanted to know anything about the world that didn't relate to killing things. Every month, some Konoha shinobi politely explored Wakaga and updated their maps and records. "Well, it's a relatively small copper mine, about twenty years old or so. It's nothing huge, but the quality of our ore is fantastic! Even though we're only allowed to sell to Konoha, we still get great prices!" the teamster explained happily.

"Huh? Only to Konoha?" His eyes were wide and his face dismayed. _That ain't right, damnit! They should be able to sell to whoever they want!_ Naruto's indignation was intense. The unfairness of it reminded him of his childhood; 'social justice' was a big issue with him.

Fujita was even more dismayed than his guard. "Oh, don't worry, Naruto-san! Really, I'm not complaining! It's just like I said, we really do get premium payment for our ore. Please, forget I said anything." Fujita had misunderstood Naruto's reaction; he was a bit worried the chuunin would be offended at a perceived complaint. Putting on a friendly, forgiving expression was easy for him, though, and the conversation was soon diverted to less rocky terrain, while he tried to console himself with the knowledge of other places, such as the Sunagakure of Gaara's childhood.

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_There's another one!_ Naruto-1138 thought with a sigh. It was another enormous tiger that had never heard that human beings were on top of the food chain. Much of the caravan-guard's job consisted of detecting these animals and sending them packing. The One Many Army could do this more easily than most, attacking the beast directly. At full strength, the animal was easily scared off with a dizzying punch right between the eyes followed by an eye-to-eye stare. Animals, even predators, _hated_ that. _Don't come back, pal_ Naruto thought with a smirk as the feline slinked away. 1138 was about to resume his position in the web surrounding the convoy when he caught an unmistakable scent.

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"Hold that thought, Fujita-san," Naruto requested abruptly with a raised hand. The conversation had drifted to who was marrying who in Wakaga, and Naruto truthfully was glad to get out of it. The caravan clattered to a halt. Looking to the east, he nodded spoke quietly to his new friend the gossipmonger in a chilly, professional tone. "Fujita-san, please get the caravan moving again as quietly as possible. I'll still be watching; something's come up," he told him without telling him anything. The teamster blinked at the personality change as Naruto reached into the wagon and came up with a small stone. Gauging the wind, he whisked the rock to the east.

The remaining Narutos watched the stone's flight for a moment, and then politely urged the caravan on. It didn't take much; the teamsters didn't want to get mixed up in shinobi business more than necessary. Gamakichi looked wary and then annoyed at being left behind, but he remained and kept guard. The geniality of the Narutos was gone, replaced by a more typical silent watchfulness. The convoy continued on under the guard of Gamakichi and dozens of blue eyes.

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'Just a stone's throw away' is a subjective expression, particularly among ninja. Far from the sight and sound of the caravan, the small stone poofed into yet another Naruto with a tiny whiff of smoke and a quiet pop no louder than a knuckle cracking. Surveying the terrain carefully, Naruto confirmed the knowledge sent to him by a deliberately dispelled shadow clone. From behind thick cover, he observed in a small depression six innocuous clusters of undergrowth. Even knowing the danger they posed, he could only barely see through the concealment, all thanks to the update the chuunin at the Rice Gate had thrust upon him…

"_The Aburame have come up with something new, Uzumaki-san. It's just been deployed; you won't find it in the field guide yet, it won't make it till next month's printing. Here, smell that?" the chuunin asked, holding a small opened glass case right under Naruto's nose. After a wary moment the prankster inhaled carefully, and nodded. The odor wasn't offensive, but it was definitely noticeable._

_At Naruto's reply, the bureaucratic chuunin grew just a bit animated. "Good! I can barely notice it myself without chakra. Now, see these?" he asked, this time letting Naruto study the case carefully. He noted many small dark insects walking around; doing whatever it is bugs do in empty glass cases. "Good," the chuunin continued. "Make note of their scent and appearance. These bugs will cluster on any chakra source and when they're near one emit that scent. They're not like the normal Aburame insects; these don't drain enough chakra to be noticed. It's technical; something about living on 'residual' chakra and body secretions. I don't really understand it. Take these pills, one every morning, and the bugs won't go for you. But if you see these bugs on something in large numbers, or you catch their scent…standard security procedures," he informed Naruto, who nodded thoughtfully. _

Thus Naruto knew that the KSZ was home to six infiltrators from Otogakure, unless the sentry wearing their odious forehead protector and awful ass-ribbon was in disguise. That seemed unlikely. _Who'd wear that shit, even for a disguise? _he wondered, careful not to remember that one of his brothers wore the same basic uniform. _That explains why I could see through the camouflage, though_. From what he'd read in the field guide, Oto-nin got further into the KSZ than their shinobi skills would allow, thanks probably two Orochimaru's and Kabuto's detailed knowledge. _That means capture is high-priority._ Capture was _always_ a priority when possible, but Konoha's intelligence officers were still stinging from the coup Orochimaru pulled on them ending in the Sandaime's assassination. Years later, Ibiki was still hungry for captives.

Therefore Naruto dispatched a shadow clone to alert the nearest guard post after consulting a tactical map. This clone carried knowledge of Naruto's ambush strategy, letting the reinforcements help if needed. Hands moving quickly in the old seal, Naruto whispered so low he could barely hear it. "_Kage bunshin no jutsu,"_ and twenty-three Narutos joined him behind his deep cover. Keeping careful eye on the Oto-sentry, ready to give the signal to strike, his new friends quietly surrounded their targets. The original Naruto let six of his comrades draw from his supply of paralytic poison to coat their kunai, while he used an explosive note to turn his from blade to grenade.

A few minutes passed, time enough for KSZ shinobi to arrive. _If only I could wait_ he thought unhappily, but he knew it was unwise. The sentry might detect at any moment the growing number of Konoha shinobi nearby. The countdown being kept by every Naruto was drawing to a close. _Five…four..three..two.one__**NOW!!**_Twenty-four minds cried out and twenty-four kunai flew, whistling unmistakably. **"AMB--!"** the sentry screamed before the grenade detonated, killing him instantly. His comrades woke and rose with inhuman speed, drawing weapons as they went.

Not soon enough in three cases. Two returned to the ground painting it red with their blood flowing past kunai imbedded in shoulder and knee, bodies unnaturally rigid from poison. The third sported a new kunai earring and matching haircut, and didn't owe his stillness to poison. The remaining two, better or luckier than their fellows, avoided the worst of it. One was nicked on his thigh and the other completely unharmed, though her ears were certainly ringing. _That one's trouble_, for such instant readiness likely meant years of combat experience. _High chuunin at least_ Naruto approximated. _Too bad it's not an arena match_ he lamented, knowing that if that were so he could win through bursts of chakra and brilliance. _But this is war._

In the brief instants before a move was made, twenty-three Narutos shifted to reposition themselves for the new fight while one thought furiously of how to deal with the woman he suspected was the commander of the infiltration team. _Gotta end this quick. Wonder what Shikamaru'd do, or Shizune-nee-chan?_ Few of Shikamaru's fights ended quickly, but Shizune was known for ending combat before the enemy knew it was really started. _Quickest, most dangerous, most unexpected…got it!_ He scowled at the kunoichi in triumph. _"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"_ he cried out loudly, a war-cry, startling his enemy for just an instant before she realized she was now in the shade provided by a two-ton toad, getting ready to smash her flat. "Bastard!" she gasped, darting forward in desperation, only to bring her nearer the original Naruto who gave her a concussion with the handle of a kunai just before she ceased to be a biped, thanks to Gamakenchi, one of Gamakichi's older brothers.

"I surrender!" her comrade blurted fearfully. The young man was tense, probably from the small amount of poison coursing through his blood. Naruto's reply of, "Good!" went unheard when a shadow clone snuck up behind the prisoner and separated him from consciousness, again with a kunai handle. More shadow clones began approaching the fallen now, still wary, to inspect and restrain. The commander was prudently nicked with a poisoned kunai.

"Fine work, Uzumaki-san," the flesh-and-blood Naruto heard from behind him. Years of experience with Jiraiya's little surprises were all that saved him from jumping. He turned and saw a Konoha ninja, Aburame by appearance, peering up at him through sunglasses. _Always with the _shades he sighed. _Can't even tell if it's a man or woman. Even the smell is weird!_ He groused to himself. "Our security measures were effective, then?" s/he inquired. Naruto nodded. "Delightful!" s/he replied. _Wouldn't know it by his…her…ugh!...voice_ Naruto complained to himself. "My first field use. I am glad they were of assistance. Interesting use of the toad…" the Aburame said in a more concerned voice, eyeing the toad warily. Gamakichi was the toad who had gotten Naruto into so much trouble with the Aburame, but the clan still regarded his family with concern. _Damned toads!_

Said toad was quietly lounging on the Oto-nin's legs, keeping her pinned until completely secured. The usual care to prevent suicide was taken with all the prisoners, whose injuries went untreated unless they were life-threatening. Naruto didn't like to consider it, but knew the prisoners and especially their commander would be a fountain of information. The toad yawned rudely, throat bulging. "Y'done with me, kid?" he asked sleepily. Naruto would normally ask the toad if he'd like to hang out for awhile. _Oh hell, he's not, is he? He _is! The toad's eyes were flitting about in a predatory way, zeroing in on the new Aburame insects. "No thank you, Gamakenchi-senpai. I am grateful for your help. Please convey my respects to Gamabunta-sama." _There…did I get it?_ His expression was a mask of cool courtesy. _I prefer bro or oyabun_. With Gamakichi he could be himself and while Gamabunta demanded respect, he also respected strength and defiance. But many of the other senior toads were sticklers for proper respect. _Ugh, I hate talking like this, but a happy toad is a combat-ready toad._ Fortunately things were wrapping up, and Gamakenchi vanished with a weary nod and a loud **POP!**

The fallen were all divested of all their belongings with an intrusiveness that would make a geisha blush. With painstaking care the hoard was inspected by the Aburame shinobi, whose insects buzzed inquisitively over every item. With a nod to his/herself, the Aburame beckoned Naruto politely. "Please take your pick of the spoils with our thanks, Uzumaki-san," the Aburame offered. On the ground lay five Sound packs, nothing missing except tactical maps and papers. Things useful to the intelligence sections were promptly returned to Konoha.

_Damn right I will!_ Naruto had never gotten this chance before. When one ninja was responsible for defeating enemies, common courtesy dictated that he get first pick of their belongings. Unless traveling with Jiraiya, who demanded and got _all_ swag even if sleeping off a hangover. He snatched up every bit of paper and coin so quickly that the daimyo's face wept, and replaced his spent poisons and lost kunai. _Nice!_ But then he came upon something else in the commander's pack. _Really nice!_ The item of his affection was a fine kusarikama. In appearance it was just a darkened crescent blade attached to a short handle, but as with all quality shinobi weapons, there was more than met the eye. Working cautiously with the haft he heard a soft click, releasing over six feet of chain with a nasty metal weight on the end. _Oh, I like this!_ His thoughts were childishly happy. Uncommon even among ninja, the kusarikama was as dangerous to an untrained wielder as to its targets. Naruto resolved to grow past his beginner's knowledge of the weapon and become an expert. _Maybe a visit to Tenten-chan?_

"Thank you senpai, that's all for me. Please note that the last one _did_ surrender before being captured," he pointed out, unable to stop himself from trying to prevent some of the suffering that would come. _Not that it was a surprise. The Snake Bastard gets them from lies, manipulation, torture, and outright brainwashing anyway, straight off the streets._ Few chuunin had as much knowledge of Orochimaru and Otogakure as Uzumaki Naruto, who hoped that after interrogation they would break Orochimaru's hold on them, and peacefully assimilate into Konoha society. Such defectors were given the chance and if they took it were left alone and never trusted. _Why couldn't that sentry have been sleeping?_ Killing, especially from ambush, made him feel awful for its unfairness and dreadful finality. _No. Can't think that way. Drop it_ he commanded himself, crushing those feelings mercilessly. He was an old student of guilt, and this was war after all. "And now I'd better be getting back to Fujita-san's caravan, if you have no further need of me? One of my shadow clones will remain with you for the debriefing. Please see to it quickly, before he dispels." Shunting bureaucratic tedium off to shadow clones was a habit for him.

"Yes, that's all, Uzumaki-san. Again, excellent work. We'll take it from here," the Aburame replied with a nod. "Great!" Naruto said in a louder voice that was more his style. He relaxed now that this business was done. So did the other Konoha shinobi, who had been a bit unnerved by his uncharacteristic seriousness. "Say 'hi' to Shino for me, eh? And tell Ibiki it's a birthday present early, from me!" he snickered. _Won't get to take that vacation _now, _willya! _Morino Ibiki's had a workaholic streak to match his sadism. "Couldn'ta done it without those bugs!" he said over his shoulder, and began moving back to the caravan, with less focus now on stealth than speed. All but one of the shadow clones vanished in an instant. The one remaining adopted a shit-eating grin that made the KSZ nin decidedly nervous. Their fears were justified when with a puff of pink _glittering_ smoke, this last Naruto transformed into a young, nubile, scantily-clad female. _Cheesecake in the flesh, baby!_

"Oh, geeze, I hope you guys don't expect little ole me to carry one of those awful Oto-nin?" she giggled coquettishly, avoiding work and marking targets vulnerable to the feared 'Harem no jutsu'. The general mischief of the prank was a happy bonus. Judging by the Aburame's irritated rather than delighted expression she was probably female, sporting a blush of anger and lacking a bloody nose. Her comrades got an eyeful, wished for Sharingan, and hastily tried to behave when they noted their commander's expression. "Damn that kid!" some of them muttered, while thinking _Damn that kid's good!_

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"How'd it go, bro?" Gamakichi asked idly as he hopped along. His keen toad ear-membranes noted the distant sound of an explosion, and the impressive thud of one of his siblings, so he knew _something_ had happened. "And why the hell din'tcha tag me in, damnit?" he demanded with a slight pout. Despite how often he was used, the toad was jealous of missed opportunities.

"Aww, c'mon Gamakichi, I had to have someone I could trust stay behind to watch the caravan! I couldn't just leave em to shadow clones, could I?" he placated his friend. _Not to mention what Sakura-chan or Granny might do if they found out I did!_ He shivered nervously. "You understand don'tcha? I mean, I'd never leave you out of a good squashing if I could help it, right? Besides, I bagged some for ole Pincushion head!" he gloated. This was a new nickname for Ibiki, given when Naruto learned that the T&I Specialist regarded him as something of a challenge after his first chuunin exam. Naruto was careful never to use the nickname where Ibiki might hear of it, or be found by the man at all if he could help it.

"Whoa, really? Nice work, bro! How many? Who were they?" Gamakichi asked. Most of his hurt feelings swept aside in a surge of inquisitiveness, and the validity of Naruto's explanation. _Most_ of his irritation was gone, though what remained was replaced by a greedy gleam.

"Well there were six initially, and I captured four. Their sentry just wasn't up to snuff, y'know? Got the drop on the lot of them, bagged four. Really, it was textbook stuff. Nothing serious. I guess I can add to my purple rope collection," he said casually, studying his fingernails and missing the warning sign. The toad's greedy anticipation grew.

"Hot damn! Sound ninja? _Nice_ job, bro! Say, when you get your bonus pay, maybe you can buy me some treats?" Too late Naruto recognized the toad's expression, and his face fell into a pout. _Damnit, he's better at that than kids!_ But he was correct, there would be some impressive bonus pay for this. They hadn't been Naruto's assignment, and Sound ninja carried a higher bounty, which meant that when he got back to Konoha he'd be sleeping in money and swimming in ramen…and buying stuff for a giant toad. But he was no stranger to Gamakichi's panhandling, and had strategies to deal with it. He made no mention of the money he'd already pocketed. "Well, sure! When I get paid, you can have…" he named a figure that was roughly one eighth the bonus he expected, and over the next few minutes was cajoled to twice that by a smug Gamakichi, who'd been convinced he was getting _half_ of Naruto's winnings just for hopping with a convoy, something he'd have done anyway. Once again, the fighting comedy duo of Naruto and Gamakichi outsmarted each other. The conclusion to their haggling was interrupted by a choked gasp of dismay.

"_S-sound_ ninja?" Fujita asked breathlessly. "You…Sound ninja…_here?"_ he asked fearfully. _Shit, I forgot_ Naruto berated himself. _Civvies are scared shitless by Snake Bastard and his goons_. Truthfully they frightened him too. Otogakure was at the forefront of new and horribly ways of killing and controlling people. Before the Sound-Sand invasion, it had been nearly a generation since any enemy had struck such a devastating blow against Konoha, laying waste to the city and killing its leader outright. The Snake Sannin was Konoha's boogieman, feared more than Uchiha Itachi. The fear of war the people hadn't felt for years before the invasion had centered on Orochimaru.

_Pft. Get the drop on them when they're asleep, and they're dead as doornails. _He felt bad when he realized that his charges didn't have the training to effectively deal with this sort of fear. _Wasn't so long ago when I was scared of everything and no one would tell me anything_. _Well, the best cure for fear is laughter! _"Ahhh, please don't worry, Fujita-san! Forget about those losers! Just between us and the toad," he nodded at Gamakichi, who was listening carefully and reading between the lines, "they were _asleep_, and we spotted em early. We were using the poor dumb bastards as guinea pigs! I, Uzumaki Naruto, even called a toad up right on top of one, smashed their commander flatter'n'a pancake on a highway!" he grinned, squatting down in imitation of a toad, then hopping up and crashing down to grind a foot into the dirt with a vicious grin. His unexpected capering brought barks of laughter and chuckles from every throat, and fear was dispelled.

"Ha! You're a freakin' riot, kid! I like your style, damnit!" Fujita exclaimed, managing to speak only through giggles. _Nice job, kid! Cheered us all up without gettin' all serious'n'shit_. Fujita had not been so frightened that he failed to notice the touch of leadership, crude yet effective and perfectly appropriate for a bunch of working guys. "Say, kid, I've been meanin' t'ask you…where've I heard your name before, anyway? It's on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't place it…" Fujita wondered, and several teamsters nearby listened in.

"Huh? What did you say? _What did you say?!"_ A cat in a room full of rocking chairs could not have looked more upset than Naruto. "Who am I? _WHO AM I?!"_ Laughs and grins were stifled into nervous dismay. _Ha! Got em goin'!_ He hopped up on Gamakichi who stood tall and proud with his throat puffing. Somehow the toad's vest even managed to flutter in the light breeze. "I've got enemies to all points of the compass; on land, sea, in the air and underground! Warden of demons, brother to toads, student of sages, smiter of perverts, defeater of Byakugan and _two_ Hokages! Ramen-connoisseur extraordinaire, I've kicked ass and taken names in every shinobi nation! I'm the One-Man-Army Uzumaki Naruto, Hokage-to-be! Remember the name, baby!" Naruto whooped, throwing up victory signs with both hands.

The caravan was completely gob smacked, even the oxen, and then more than a few laughed in a good way. Some even applauded. _Shizune-nee-chan was _right_, Konoha _did_ lose a great actor when I entered the academy! _ He was as pleased with his performance as though he'd just won a tournament.

Gamakichi's throat swelled with pride. _Pop'll be proud! Nice work, bro!_ The toad was so pleased that he decided to take it a _little_ easy when it came time to get money for treats, because ninja toads _love_ that stuff. _Maybe Pop'd be nicer to Ero-sennin if he wasn't such an ass introducing himself._ The nin-toad had adopted some of his brother's tastes and opinions for his own out of friendship and loyalty. It caused Naruto much trouble, since Jiraiya correctly blamed the Naruto for the disrespect.

Naruto bowed and gestured with his hands as though calming a throng of cheering fans, and then rubbed the back of his head sheepishly with a smile. _Ha! Knockin' em dead! _ _But why doesn't it work every time? I _know_ it's good, it always works outside Konoha, damnit! _The bemused irritation he received whenever he tried it on friends and neighbors only ensured they'd be victims again. It never occurred to him that it was ineffective in Konoha because they already knew him. _Hmmmm, maybe get Gamakichi to do that throat thing next time?_ He made a note of it for future performances.

"Well hot damn! I _knew_ I knew your name, kid! So _you're_ the guy from the chuunin exams during the invasion! You beat one of those Hyuuga, right? Good for you! Take those jerks down a peg or three, I say!" Fujita grinned, slapping Naruto's shoulder in appreciation. "Man, lemme tell ya, we've had a few Hyuuga guard us on these trips, and **brr!** I'll bet they bottle their shit and sell it for perfume!" Naruto couldn't have stopped his laughter even if he'd wanted to. "I can't stand those bums, but after that exam the sticks went so far up their asses they couldn't even bend over!" Fujita was still chortling at the memory. "Say, Naruto-kun," he whispered quietly. "You're a student of the great Sannin, Jiraiya-sama, right?"

Naruto groaned to himself. He'd heard _that _question before. _Please please please…_ he was distracted from defending Hyuuga Neji, who barely _had_ a stick anymore. Just the other day, he'd actually smiled at a hilarious joke! "D'you suppose you could get my Icha Icha autographed for me? By you _and _Jiraiya-sama, of course!" He clapped his hands together in a pleading gesture and looked close to throwing himself at Naruto's feet.

_Damnit! #$! Ero-sennin! This was _so _close to being a totally kickass day, too! I've hardly got any money as it is!_ He forgot all about his expected bonus pay in best miserly fashion. _Ugh, if only I'd kept my mouth shut!_

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"So my writing's no good, eh punk?!" Jiraiya demanded of his disciple, the pair somewhere in the Land of Earth, a few months after their training journey began.

"Yeah, that's right! It sucks, Ero-sennin!" Naruto replied belligerently. "A room full of monkeys could turn out better books than you! And not summoned monkeys, either! The regular kind!" A vein at Jiraiya's temple throbbed as he stared down at his student, trying to shut out the smirking expressions of passerby.

"Oh, you're _sure_ of that, are you? That my books are awful?" Naruto had not yet learned to recognize the conniving gleam in his tutor's eye.

"Of course I am! Asking me again ain't gonna change my mind! I ain't Kaka-sensei, don't spect _me_ t'kiss your ass over that trash!" The vein in the master's temple looked fit to burst. _One, no _two_ barrels of sake tonight, just to soothe this headache!_ It would become a common promise Jiraiya made to himself, a remedy to Naruto that Tsunade would understand.

"Well brat, you're just one idiot. What do _I_ care what you think? _You_ need a digital clock just to tell time! My readership is in the millions!" the Sannin exulted. _C'mon kid, swallow the bait…_

"Psh'yeah, right! No it isn't! You're full of it, Ero-sennin!" Naruto exclaimed, harrumphing to himself and crossing his arms over his chest, the picture of scornful disbelief.

"Then _put your money where your mouth is, brat!!"_ Jiraiya growled, and it was off to the races. From there, it was only a hop, skip, and a jump before Naruto was conned into a permanent wager wherein he paid Jiraiya-sama a hefty sum every time someone came to him begging for the famed author to autograph their books. Years later, he was _still_ trying to figure out how he'd been roped in, and desperate to con his way back out of it.

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"Yeah, yeah, but keep it down, Fujita-san!" Naruto hissed at him. "I'll do it for you, but _only_ if you keep this quiet. I'll get you his home address so your friends can mail their copies to him if they'd like, just so long as they _swear_ not to tell they heard it from me, OK?" His desperation was palpable. Gamakichi might end up with half his swag after all if Jiraiya had his way!

But Fujita knew nothing of the bet, and even if he had, he liked Naruto quite a bit, so he quickly agreed, condemning his co-workers to a long waiting period without a second thought. _After all, _I'm_ the boss here! The rest of them can wait! _"Wonderful! We'll reach Wakaga a bit before sundown. My book's there," he said with enormous satisfaction. _Best guard I've had in years!_ the veteran teamster thought, and not just because of the autograph.

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Author's Notes: (the stats are for my own records, mostly)

12-28-2007

Approx. 5000 words

4 reviews

70 hits

2 alerts

Revision: 12-29-2007

Approx. 5000 words

253 hits

6 reviews

1 c2

1 fav

5 alerts

Big jump! Thanks, guys, especially those who favorited or c2d or alerted. As always, if you think you can help by reviewing, please don't hesitate to do so. This revision owes in large part to LoneIgadzra's advice. If it is inferior to the original, the fault is mine.

Howdy fanfic readers! I hope this chapter has been to your pleasure. This chapter has my first fight scene, and several first attempts at delving into the 'technical' aspects of the Naruto world. I put a lot of effort into doing so effectively, so please let me know how I did, good or bad. Reviews appreciated. Even short ones, reviews of just a few words, are sought so long as they address something that either works or doesn't work in the story. Aside from that, I don't worry about it much. The number of hits, alerts, and favoritings together make a solid judge of how much it's being read.

Now for thanks to helpful comments from readers, with apologies for any names misspelled. If this story is successful, this will probably not be an ongoing feature of these little postscripts, since I would fear slighting someone by accidental omission:

Dayadhvam: Some of your review might seem strange to those who read it now, but I am grateful for it. In the first chapter, I had lots of little inserts like so: "(Ed.: Texttexttext)" I was going for a comic-book appeal, but it doesn't really work in this medium. I also appreciate your remarks about my sense of humor, and your thoughts on tense-switching were helpful. Your observation about colloquial language is correct, but I intended it that way. In my experience, very few people pronounce _every_ letter in every word, unless they're taking care to speak precisely. It's not always a drawl for example, or 'ebonics' or anything like that, it's just natural. Each person brings a different mix of influences to their speech, and to me, given Naruto's lack of a formal education and family upbringing to teach better pronunciation, his speech here is quite plausible. But I am interested to hear more on how it doesn't work, if you like.

LoneIgadzra: You're quite right, I had a bit of that problem in the first chapter. It's a bit of a problem for me all around, and I find myself going through chapters two or even three times, pruning things down. Please, keep me on my toes!

TheKazz: Appreciated. How the characters 'feel' is very important to me, much more important than the cool things they can do, though as this chapter shows I'm interested in that, too.

D.A. (since I'm not sure if the name I know him by is his real name, and if he'd want it used here: You gave me a much-needed smack on the wrist concerning the notes I was inserting, and it was both appreciated and very helpful. I find myself slipping into the habit, just a bit, in a different way, and am trying to keep it to a minimum. I hope you too will keep me on my toes!

As for non-canon cultural references, I don't think I agree with you. Hopefully others will chime in, but I don't think it's too jarring to have a reference that is not traditionally Japanese in the writing, so long as the characters themselves aren't doing it. For example, you'll never see me write from Naruto, "Man, that ramen was tastier than apple pie!" But you _might_ hear me say, "Cloud-watching for Shikamaru was as traditional as apple pie." Very few readers, proportionally, aren't going to misunderstand what I mean, and most I think will embrace my meaning without much difficulty, since I'm an American writing to mostly other Americans. I could be wrong, though! Please, folks, let me know if you agree: I really have no idea the demographics of 


	4. Chapter 3: What'll it be, Mr Uzumaki?

_Excerpted from the Konoha Security Zone Field Guide…_

_Subject: KSZ civilian settlements_

_Location: See attached tactical map #13_

_Population: Approx. 10,000 (see Intelligence Section for precise census reports)_

_Description: Farming, mining, ranching, and cottage-industry_

_Many express surprise that people choose to live in a place like the KSZ. Unlike most shinobi communities, Konoha informs its citizens of the risks and rewards of residing in its buffer zone, and still they chose to live there. Chief among the dangers are the KSZ itself, and living 'on the wall'; any enemy wishing to harm Konohagakure must first deal with the KSZ. While not 'dangerous', it is still a drawback that all structures and settlements must prioritize security over civilian or aesthetic needs._

_First among the rewards are very lucrative financial opportunities. Prices for agricultural goods supplied by the KSZ average nearly triple other civilian sources, and the KSZ is the first source for Konoha's needs. In wartime, much higher rates and a greater demand is commonplace. Second, all economic endeavors in the KSZ have priority on all the latest equipment, research, and even chakra techniques. These state-of-the-art methods permit the civilians in the KSZ to thrive with only minimal government subsidy, for its agricultural yields are higher and reach harvest faster._

_The KSZ is one of the most thoroughly surveyed locations in the world. Thus the most mineral-rich areas and fertile land are found and used with minimal disruption. The shinobi arts are applied to civilian technology to minimize the footprint of these undertakings, greatly simplifying their concealment. Even the KSZ forces themselves often have a difficult time finding the towns and villages without knowing precisely where to look._

_Needless to say, these rich possibilities combined with Konoha's reputation for protecting civilian as well as shinobi mean that the demand for civilian license to live and work in the KSZ has remained high for years, and holders of these licenses are especially satisfied and hardworking. Many recently established fortunes have roots in the KSZ, and in these peaceful times it is also one of the best places for young shinobi to get real field experience on solo missions..._

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"Welcome to Wakaga, Naruto-kun!" Fujita gestured grandly. "Hey! Open up in there! It's me, Shonigawa Fujita! We're early!" he pounded impatiently on the thick door. A tiny slot appeared in the blank and daunting gate. Naruto's shinobi senses caught the glint of a mirror, and his respect for security in the KSZ went up a notch. '_Nice. Use the mirror so no one can stick somethin' in your eye, and you can still see the visitors.'_

Aside from military concerns his first impression of Wakaga was disappointing. Then, as he looked he grew curious. But for the roof of a silo he could see no signs of a town beyond the high walls, which were so well camouflaged that he'd almost have to _touch_ Wakaga to know it was there. '_Hardly _any_ sound, either. That doesn't make sense…Fujita-san told me this town has over a hundred and fifty people! But everything's…muffled somehow.'_ The security of Wakaga itself was not his responsibility, so he'd only skimmed the field guide in that area. '_That section is like an inch thick! Hafta get a shadow clone t'read the damn thing,' _he resolved unhappily.

Proper signals were exchanged with a kunoichi on the wall, and the gate sank vertically into the earth. Naruto could feel the movement more than hear it. Within was the forbidding and gloomy sight of a sizeable barbican protecting a smaller gate; the large room was dotted everywhere with rectangles where the walls could be shifted, potentially letting all sorts of unpleasant things inside. After carefully arranging the caravan so it could squeeze into the room, Fujita ordered them to enter, sounding happier though no less noisy than usual. _'Well, we are early. bout time he was happy!'_

Once inside the outer gate was whisked back up into place and secured with such ease and silence it might've been made of paper. Naruto and Gamakichi were reduced to sticking to a wall, just to keep their personal space. _"Lovely place bro, you should hire their decorator,"_ the toad joked quietly to Naruto. _"Oh, right, kichi, this'll go _great_ with the whole interrogation-room funeral parlor theme I got goin'."_ The two snickered to themselves, grateful to be able to cut up now that Naruto's work was basically complete. His orders stretched between the gate to Wakaga and the Rice Gate of Konoha.

"Ah-hahahaha Fujita-kun, you're early!" a loud, friendly voice exclaimed, booming through one of the holes in the wall towards the inner gate, eliciting grins and chuckles. The interior gate opened, and the last of Naruto's tension flowed away. "Hey, welcome back, guys! You're nearly two hours early! Good t'see ya!" said a man beckoning the caravan in, wearing a rich clothing and a large whistle around his neck. Fujita trotted up and they exchanged feisty handshakes and backslaps. "Naruto-kun, get your ass down here! You gotta meet this guy!" Fujita yelled up at him.

The caravan had already begun trundling into a plaza, nearly fifty meters to a side. Truthfully it was larger than appeared necessary; the many buildings were separated each by a few meters. Loading docks, paddocks, and overflowing water troughs were spaced throughout. Quickly the teamsters guided their carts and wagons to their appropriate places, and relaxed for a moment while tending their animals once they got there. Naruto was still in the barbican, waiting for the last of the caravan to exit.

"Alright, alright! Just a second!" he called back from his position towards the back of the room. "Pst, gimme a hand, kichi?" Naruto whispered to the toad, who nodded and picked up the chuunin and threw him through the air. Naruto aped being out of control, flailing his arms about, but then kipped off the top of a wagon to slow down and land easily on his feet. _Ha! _Totally_ stuck the landing!_ _That's the only way to travel!_ It's not that he had any difficulty running along walls these days, but that wasn't _nearly _as thrilling as hurtling through the air. Some of the teamsters chuckled at the aerobatic capering, and Naruto strode up to the man with the whistle.

"Yo! Name's Uzumaki Naruto!" and stuck out his hand, just as he had with Fujita earlier that day. The stranger seemed even more surprised than Fujita had been, but his instinct took over and a thick, calloused hand enveloped Naruto's. _Geeze, like a mini-_Bubun Baika no jutsu!_ Wonder if he's an Akimichi?_ Naruto returned the handshake heartily and grinned. "Naruto-kun, this is my friend Hiro-san, he's this year's mayor of Wakaga. He'll be in charge of loading up my caravan for the trip tomorrow. As for me, I'm off the clock! Come find me later, I'll give you the you-know-what," he whispered, his expression an unnerving mixture of greed and perversion.

_I knew he wouldn't forget it. Maybe I can disguise myself as some guy named Fujita to get Ero-sennin to sign it._ Naruto optimistically ignored his brain pointing out previous times such a trick had failed; as a shinobi spymaster, Jiraiya was as hard to fool with a disguise as one would expect. "Thank you for guiding and protecting our caravan, young m-…errr, shinobi-san," Hiro shifted words awkwardly. Naruto's affability made him seem more his true age than many other young chuunin, and he grinned at the mayor's awkwardness.

"Neh, just 'Naruto's' fine with me, Hiro-san. I don't care," he assured him. _'Long as it's not 'gaki' or 'baka' or something,' _he grumbled to himself. _'Eh, at least I earn it from Sakura-chan and Granny,'_ he grinned to himself. _'If I'm gonna get called names and smacked around, I may as well have it comin'!'_ This had once been his oft-stated philosophy, but careful field research had led him to conclude that stating his philosophy meant even _more_ insults and assaults; he changed it to his oft-_thought_ philosophy.

He was shaken from his thoughts by a sudden burst of activity. The teamsters were eager to get back to their homes for the evening and get some sleep, so it didn't take long before each wagon was in the appropriate place for loading, and each animal tended for the night by the stable hands. But the flurry of movement didn't stop there. Lines formed up, and quick as a colony of ants at a picnic, things were moved from storage into wagons. Before his eyes, the few goods that the caravan had brought to Wakaga were unloaded and bulging sacks of grain and full barrels were quickly stowed. He had considered letting a few shadow clones pitch in, but as he watched he realized that they weren't just throwing stuff into the wagons wily-nily. By the time his clones learned what went where, the job would be nearly done anyway. "Man, you guys work fast!" It was like watching shinobi train in taijutsu, the efficiency of it anyway.

"Nice of you to say so, Naruto-san," Hiro replied with a grin. The kid was looking and listening everywhere, like a tourist. "Now if you'd like, I'll show you to your quarters?" Naruto shook himself out of his observation and nodded. "Sure, thanks…just a sec, though," he said and then went to speak quietly with the giant toad. The pair slapped hands, and the toad disappeared with a crack and a fountain of smoke. "There we go. Gamakichi wanted to make sure he was home in time for supper," Naruto explained to Hiro, who didn't really understand but had resigned himself to confusion when dealing with ninja.

"Right this way then, please. It's not much, since most guards stay in it for just a night or two, but it's clean and comfortable," Hiro explained as the two strolled into Wakaga. It was eerily empty and quiet, except for the sounds of animals and loading from behind them.

"I guess there ain't anyone who could show me around Wakaga, is there? I mean, I'm just here for the night, but I'd like to know more bout the place. It's a pretty cool looking town," he said hopefully. Naruto was not above flattery, and it was even more effective when it was truthful flattery.

"I'm afraid not, Naruto-san. We keep pretty busy here. Even Shonigawa-sama is hard at work. But we do have another four chuunin stationed here as guards for Wakaga. They work in six-hour shifts, so one of them will is both awake and off-duty or will be soon, most likely. They'd probably know the sort of things you're curious about." Hiro was glancing towards the gate where work was underway while trying not to be rude about it. He wasn't lying about all Wakaga being busy.

_'Eh, another shinobi'll know better stuff than Hiro anyway,'_ Naruto reasoned. "Thanks again, Hiro-san. I look forward to seeing more of Wakaga; maybe we'll see each other again sometime," he waved at the mayor, who replied politely and then jogged back to the loading areas. Naruto ducked into the pillbox and grunted unhappily at the accommodations. Five futons, five footlockers, facilities, a few tables, and futons and hammocks stacked up against a wall should Wakaga ever play host to additional soldiers. Two of the futons were occupied by silently sleeping shinobi. _'Well at least now I get t'stroll around a bit.' _Naruto was big on travel, and figured he'd find the off-duty shinobi in short order. Stowing his pack and clipping his new kusarikama under his shoulder—he might have time to train with it—Naruto headed back out of the barracks, shutting the door quietly behind him.

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He stopped by the loading area again for a moment and left a shadow clone there to observe, more for his own curiosity than anything else. _'There's so much food!'_ As a child of welfare and poverty, he had been captivated by food for all his life. "Do us a favor, eh? Watch what's goin' on, ask questions if you can without bein' a pain," Naruto instructed himself. Since learning of the information-gathering aspect of shadow clones, he made use of them at every opportunity. He considered for a moment creating swarms of them and letting them run all over Wakaga, but unpleasant memories shut that down. "Sure thing boss!" Naruto told himself with a salute.

His next stop was finding the on-duty guard, which wasn't difficult. The kunoichi's patrol took her back past the gate just as Naruto finished instructing his shadow clone. She looked a few years older than him, and quite surprised at the sight of Naruto talking to himself. With a wave and a chakra-boosted jump, Naruto hopped up onto the parapet next to her.

"Hey kunoichi-san, good afternoon!" he said with wide grin. _'And it's getting' better!' _he grinned to himself. Women who led physically active and fulfilling lives were all attractive in their own ways to Naruto; this was doubly true of kunoichi. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto!" he offered with a friendly smile. His hand twitched and he would have liked to offer it to shake, but it was not a gesture common among shinobi. For all Naruto craved physical contact-especially with pretty girls-he stuck with a polite bow.

The young woman appraised him briefly, and recognition sparked in her eyes. Her body language and facial expression shifted slightly as she appraised him with a subtle frankness that went completely over his head; all his female and most of his male comrades would have recognized these skillful kunoichi seduction techniques at once. "Hi! Good afternoon, Naruto-san. What can I do for you?" She bowed back politely, and her words were courteously friendly despite her ongoing watchfulness, which Naruto understood and forgave. She was on duty.

'_Ha! Uzumaki Flirtation Technique success! Do whatever Ero-sennin doesn't!'_ he crowed to himself. The technique had three key components: maintain eye contact, speak and appear confident without being arrogant, and be friendly. Because Naruto had created his technique simply to avoid the violent responses Jiraiya often got from women (unless they were 'on the job'), he was unaware of the power of its sincerity. Since he was always sincerely happy to make new friends, his technique was always genuine. It had garnered him the attention of more than a few women, civilian and shinobi alike. He remained almost completely oblivious, though, since what training he'd gotten in noticing feminine wiles he'd ignored, right along with history, spelling, complex mathematics, home economics…

Instead, Naruto's thoughts were of gratitude. _'Good, maybe she doesn't know…'_ he thought when she did not seem antagonistic. It had been one of the better surprises of his life that civilians and shinobi of Konoha close to his own age were no longer likely to treat him badly. His performance in his first chuunin exam, retrieving the Godaime Hokage, and having a Sannin for a master had really boosted his image; it was usually more than enough to overcome the vaguely worded prejudice some parents and oldsters tried to pass on. _'You really did know what you were talkin' about, Gramps.' _ Naruto did not like to think of how badly it had hurt to learn of Sandaime's Law; only his deep love for the old man had kept him quiet about it, and of his usual cheer. Over the months and years since he became a shinobi, though, it had become a positive force in his life. He quelled the pang in his heart that still ached whenever he thought of the dead Hokage, and focused his attention on the pretty girl. _'Honorin' the memory of Gramps, that's all!' _Naruto kept his perverted giggle strictly to himself.

"Well, a name would be great for starters," Naruto grinned with his usual audacity. She rolled her eyes slightly and punched him lightly on the arm.

"My name's Sakaki Maaya. I'm one of the guards stationed in Wakaga this quarter. Pleased to meet you, Naruto-san," she smiled slightly and bowed back. It was perhaps the best Naruto could expect from an on-duty dedicated kunoichi. "Is there something I can do for you?" she inquired. Her raised eyebrows were asking that same question in a more personal tone: _'I'm reading you right, aren't I?'_

_'Damn right you are!'_ Somehow, women always seemed to know when a man was interested. _'But with pervs like Ero-sennin around, their senses must get pretty sharp.'_ "Well I know you're on duty right now so unfortunately I'll hafta stop botherin' ya in just a sec. But I wanna learn more bout Wakaga and I don't have much time to do it. Mind playin' guide to my tourist? I can update you on the latest news and gossip from Konoha, of course," he offered, his hopefulness evident. He had learned to make his intentions clear when dealing with the fairer sex, or they might not get the message. _'Women can be so dense!'_ Naruto was truly blessed that women couldn't _really_ read his mind; else he would surely have sported many new bruises from _that_ thought.

"That'd be great! Thanks. I'm off-duty in just half an hour. There's a small inn just inside the gate. It's not much, but they serve better food than field rations. I'll meet you there, Naruto-san," she pointed the building out. Her hand somehow managed to appear delicate and attractive even lacking a manicure, and sporting nicks and calluses. _'Women. They've always got the upper hand!'_ he groused to himself. The only part of Jiraiya's attitude towards women Naruto embraced was simple appreciation and attraction; his various sexy techniques had mostly been learned too soon to really understand why they were so effective.

"Cool, I'll see you there then, Maaya-san," Naruto smiled again, then hopped back down off the wall and walked towards the inn. Behind him, Maaya looked down at him like a cat with a mouse between its paws. Truthfully she was off duty in a _quarter_ of an hour, but a girl didn't go on a date with the One Man Army of small but growing fame without cleaning up first.

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The inn matched Maaya's description. Small and inexpensive from within and without, it lacked the accoutrements Naruto had come to expect from traveling with Jiraiya over the years. _'Accoutrements _I_ paid for, damnit!'_ The Toad Sannin was notoriously stingy unless spending Naruto's money. 'Accoutrements' was one of the words he liked to use when wielding high-blown rhetoric to justify his violent thefts. The common room of the inn had a low fire going in the hearth, lending a countrified air that was especially appealing to the city-raised Naruto. Two small tables sat near the fire, and a door leading to the kitchen peeped out from behind a curtain at the front desk. The inn was scrupulously clean; Naruto decided he liked the place.

The bored looking innkeeper sat up with a start a moment after Naruto finished his careful inspection and made himself heard. "Oh! Shinobi-san! I don't recognize you, you must be the guard from the caravan, I presume?" The innkeeper scuttled out from behind the counter and bowed politely to Naruto, who returned the gesture with a disarming smile. "Yeah, that's right, Uzumaki Naruto. We're here early. Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. What's to eat?" he asked anxiously, a bit concerned by not smelling anything. Ichiraku had spoiled him; they started the broth pot simmering if he was even in the _area_.

"Well Naruto-san, with a little time we can actually make just about anything basic your heart --," the innkeeper began with pardonable pride.

"Pork ramen for me, then! And…hmmm…d'you know what Sakaki Maaya-san's favorite food might be?" Naruto was a man who knew what he liked. 'Basics' were an area of food he had _thoroughly_ explored, and ramen remained tops on that list. _'Mmm…wonder how Wakaga's ramen stacks up?'_ already his mouth was watering; it was one reason he intended to eat some now. It hadn't taken long for him to learn that women were not endeared by a meal-date who approached food like a starving jackal. _'And after all, I'll have seconds later! And it's bound to be cheaper to eat here in the sticks,'_ he reasoned.

"Ohhh, you know Maaya-chan?" the innkeeper smiled fondly. "You'd never know it to look at her, but she can put away yakitori like nobody's business! Well, that's true of all kunoichi; just like the men they eat fast and furious!" The innkeeper winked at Naruto; he hadn't missed the chuunin's pavlovian response to the discussion of ramen.

"Great! Well then, some pork ramen for me then, with lots of toppings. And I'll have some chicken ramen again in a little over half an hour, plus a double order of yakitori, alright?" Naruto figured a few minutes of small talk would do nicely, followed by more chow. The innkeeper nodded and bustled back into the kitchen, while Naruto reached into a pocket and pulled out a small book and began reading.

When the innkeeper came with his ramen, his face rose hopefully when he saw the book but then fell when he noted it was stamped with classification warnings and was apparently something about the Konoha Security Zone. _'Damn! Thought we had another Icha icha fan on our hands!'_ Naruto grunted thanks and went about devouring his ramen before the innkeeper could even get back behind the counter, all while reading his book. He dearly wanted to order seconds, but he was here on his own dime.

The innkeeper was startled at Naruto's attentiveness to both reading and eating. Had he known his customer, it would've been less surprising. Eating ramen was as easy as breathing, but reading, that had been a much more difficult thing…

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**LEARNING TO READ WITH JIRAIYA!**

"Neh, Ero-sennin, what badass techniques will you be teachin' me today?" Naruto began his usual morning pestering the instant Jiraiya woke up. Only a few days out of Konoha, the pair was already deep into the frontiers of Fire Country. No towns, no people, and no distractions meant Jiraiya was Naruto's sole diversion, and the hermit had quickly tired of it, especially at the crack of dawn.

"Damn, brat! I brought you along to make you a better shinobi, not a rooster! Ugh! Show some respect for your teacher and let me sleep in!" the older man groaned, rubbing the crust out of his eyes. Naruto had yet to notice that there was no crust in Jiraiya's eyes at all, and that his teacher's sleepiness was just an act. The Toad Sage had no intention of telling Naruto, though. _'The little putz should be able to tell on his own!'_

"I don't respect people who can't even wake up in the morning!" Naruto harrumphed right back at his teacher. He was untroubled by his hypocrisy; Naruto had trouble waking up some mornings himself, and probably would here, if he wasn't so excited. The student then got a sly grin on his face and upended his canteen on his master's shaggy head.

"Ugh! Goddamnit that is it! I've had it! I was gonna wait till I got something more fitting, but you're on my last nerve! Here!" Jiraiya exclaimed, reaching into his pack to hand Naruto two thick books and pencil. It was titled 'Hi no Kuni and the Contemporary World', and the second book was a dense workbook.

"Ehhhh!?!?!" Naruto squawked in outrage. "What the hell is this, you senile old peeping tom?! I'm not in the Academy anymore, take this back!" he demanded rudely, thrusting books and pencil back at his teacher, who turned up his nose at his recalcitrant student.

"I've seen your grades, punk. You were so awful in history class I'd be surprised if you've ever seen this book at all. Even though it was used in your classes!" It was nothing but the truth. Only his astonishing victory over Mizuki, his recovery of a priceless library of Konoha's secrets, and his intuitive skill with unique techniques and tactics were sufficient to overcome his lack in other areas of general and shinobi knowledge. Jiraiya knew, though Naruto did not, that the Sandaime had briefly considered holding Naruto back for yet another term, with a strong focus on book learning. _'Well, no time like the present to make the kid less stupid!' _Jiraiya reasoned cheerfully. It was even more fun because he knew his student would hate it. "Your assignment, my ignorant student, is to read this textbook cover to cover and complete the entire workbook. I'll be grading you, so your writing better be legible and your answers correct! Each wrong or illegible answer costs you mo-ney!" he chirped in a singsong voice, deftly snatching Gama-chan from Naruto's pocket.

"Ahhhhh! My wallet! Gama-chan! Ugh, fine you old bastard! But if I'm missing even one coin, you're in for it!" Naruto promised, a threat his teacher knew to take seriously, even though he'd disregard it. The petty vengeances of his student came when least expected, in weird and embarrassing ways. "Hey! Where're you goin', Ero-sennin?" Naruto yelped after his teacher, who was already on the road and walking. Naruto scrambled to get his stuff and catch up.

"What, you didn't think I'd just sit here and wait for you to finish the book did you? We'd be here all summer!" Jiraiya sneered and then laughed. "But that's no excuse for you not to be reading, brat! So get to it!" he thumped Naruto soundly on the head, who would've killed him if looks could do it, and then summoned up a clone, handed the materials to him, and hoisted him up on his shoulders. _'Eh, not bad, kid! Exercising your body and your mind at the same time. You're not as stupid as you act,'_ he thought with growing fondness. The next day, though, thoughts of fondness were gone as Naruto had managed to build a flimsy litter and actually carry himself reclining while reading. It was a weird and embarrassing sight, until Jiraiya broke it back to matchsticks and ordered Naruto to continue his long-distance weight training while reading…

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The time passed quickly while Naruto reviewed what he had already read of the Field Guide, avoiding the sections about Wakaga specifically. _'Heh, this way I can appear a bit knowledgeable, but still have lots of questions to make the tour last longer!'_ Naruto was truly a clever fellow. He heard the sounds of the innkeeper cooking again and looked up, knowing soon Maaya would arrive. With one spectacularly bad exception, Konoha shinobi were quite prompt. He worried for a moment that it might've been cooler to have been practicing with his kusarikama, but decided there was too much chance of making an ass of himself to risk it. _'Not that that's ever stopped me before,'_ he groaned anxiously. This wasn't his first date, but there hadn't been many.

Hearing a step at the door, Naruto glanced up and spied and scented a feminine silhouette in the doorway. He stood up and waved, mostly stifling his eagerness. "Hey, Maaya-san, over here!" he beckoned as he stood. Unseen by him, a faint almost predatory smile crossed the silhouette's face and she waved back. "Hey, Naruto-san, good to see you again," she said as she strode into the room…

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Author's Notes:

First submitted: 1/7/2008

Words: 4,500

Hits: 321 (with 91 chapter 3 hits, which I regard as meaning about 80-90 people have read the whole thing so far)

1 c2, 3 favs, 6 alerts

I'm a bit worried about this chapter. I'm angling into romantic territory, although I'm not at all sure if Maaya will become a recurring character or not. It's new territory for me, and I'm not very confident I wrote this chapter very well. I think I did a decent job on the fight chapter, as well as (with help) the opening chapter where it was basically about Naruto going somewhere, but now that we're in Wakaga, I am concerned.

Thus I cry out to helpful reviewers! Y'all know who you are. Please, give me some pointers, however brutal and negative they may be.

Someone asked me a few days ago just when this story takes place. For now, though obviously it can change later, it takes place a short but no specified time after Kakuzu and Hidan are defeated. I have not decided if canon events after that have happened in my story, or if this story is squeezed in there, or if this overwrites those events and is thus AU.


	5. Sorry sir, trouble with the ramen!

_Taken from the medical notes of Haruno Sakura…_

_**Cortical Overload Syndrome**_

_Category: Neurological Disease_

_Status: Rare, treatable, active_

_Cause: Overload of information in the cerebral cortex; most commonly by memories, sensory input, and movement disorders. The Hyuuga, Inuzaka, and Uzumaki all face greater risk of this disease than other civilians and shinobi._

_Symptoms and Activity: Excruciating headaches, cranial bleeding, strokes, and paralysis. Mostly through ninja techniques, a patient can suddenly receive too much information for their brains to handle. In the case of info via chakra, the information is carried on chakra, and that chakra must enter the brain for the info to be retrieved. There is only so much chakra that can fit in one person's brain. Too much and chakra-induced damage will result, the amount and type varying depending on the amount of info. Also, some neurological diseases that afflict the senses and motor function can lead to an onset of this disease, if their function is abnormally hyperactive, which causes more sensory input to the brain._

_The Hyuuga and Inuzaka have been known to suffer from C.O.S. in the past; their incredible visual and olfactory sensory acuity means they gain more information from their environment than the average civilian or ninja, and sometimes it is too much. I cannot yet speak for the rest of the Uzumaki family, because those records are _still_ sealed. But _my_ Uzumaki, medical pioneer that _he_ is, found a whole _new_ way to catch a bizarre brain illness! I don't know which is…_text is scratched out here

_Cure: None. With time and individual doctor-patient study, a chakra-therapy treatment can be applied directly to the patient's brain. The information itself can be siphoned off, but this is impossible with medical techniques. There is no cure for the chakra-induced variety of C.O.S.; once it is triggered, the effects are instantaneous. Non-chakra varieties of this disease can be cured, by treating the ultimate cause of the patient's C.O.S. In chakra cases, the possibilities for individual chakra-therapy hold potential in pain-relief and repairing brain damage from strokes. Even memory-wiping techniques would be ineffective, since the 'space' in the brain is already overfilled._

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_'Hmmm, what to teach my cute students today?'_ Kakashi wondered idly as he strolled up to Team 7's usual bridge. _'And what time is it, anyway?'_ As a cool, hip, and modern Konoha jounin he could've gauged time within a quarter-hour by glancing skyward, but that would mean taking his eyes off Icha-Icha. Unthinkable. _'Well, Sakura already knows all of my medical techniques, and anyway she's got two much better teachers than me for that,'_ he frowned. Kakashi had, years ago, intended to gradually introduce Sakura to medical jutsu and eventually find her a special tutor in the field. But time, desperation, and a recalcitrant Uchiha spurred Sakura to go over Kakashi's head. _Way_ over, straight to the new Hokage, who for reasons of her own had greedily snapped up the promising young shinobi as her pupil.

Hatake Kakashi had many regrets. Unlike most men, _his_ regrets literally a part of him. Even more than his failure with Sasuke—unfortunately it was not quite a surprise—more than his temporary but lengthy loss of Naruto as a student—which had saddened him, but Jiraiya was necessary—Kakashi regretted his training of Sakura. He had always respected her, even as a pretty pathetic genin; her brilliance and temper were admirable. But truthfully he just didn't know what to _do_ with her. In temperament, personality, motivation, and view of the world the two could hardly have been less alike. It was also his very first time teaching a genin team, and he'd meant to fail them. _No one_ else before them had figured out the true lesson behind his unfairly rigged teamwork test. So he went slowly with her, trying to feel his way around while not revealing how out-of-depth he was (he was also singularly ill-equipped to teach a young woman anything). But there just hadn't been time; Orochimaru intruded, Sasuke accepted, and Naruto went careening after them.

His other two students Kakashi could understand with much less difficulty. Any shinobi who had lost a friend to violence would understand Sasuke's _need_ for revenge, even if their need was much smaller, and they lacked the 'by any means necessary' mentality Sasuke embodied. His chilly, aloof, utterly utilitarian way of looking at life and death was deeply familiar to his teacher as well, for he had been much the same at that age.

Kakashi understood Naruto mostly thanks to Uchiha Obito. It was not something the jounin enjoyed thinking about, but Obito and Naruto bore many similarities. _'And who would've thought that _Naruto_ would have the most in common with Obito, in a team with another Uchiha?´_ he sighed. Both Obito and Naruto had an outgoing love of life that most shinobi lacked, or concealed. In many ways Naruto was much smarter than Kakashi had been at that age. At an age when Kakashi had been studying for his jounin trials in wartime and cutting himself off from humanity, Naruto not only understood that people, friends, and connections were the important thing, he was actually _living_ by that understanding.

Naruto's compassionate wisdom still sometimes amazed his teacher, though the jounin only rarely showed it; he had found that Naruto's ego needed controlling. Konoha had been blessed with five Hokages who understood and lived by that code of nearly heedless self-sacrifice for the happiness and safety of the village. The Inuzaka, with their pack mentality, embraced it only nearly an instinctive level, though usually only among themselves. It had taken the most binding, powerful oaths Kakashi could make himself to keep him firmly on that path, and still he had to remind himself of it regularly in front of the Shinobi Memorial. The 'Will of Fire' had not been embraced by anyone as young as Naruto since Obito, in Kakashi's memory. He began to wind down out of his reverie as he got closer to the bridge.

'_Ow! Goddamnit!'_ he groaned to himself. Perhaps his students would not visit such loud, screeching rebukes on him if they knew the kinds of things—aside from porn—that he spent time thinking about. The instructor decided not to mention his pride and respect for them, since his ears were still ringing. "Ahhh, I'm sorry, I was hurrying to be early for our training," _'Completely true, 'early' is subjective!' _"When I got lost strolling down memory lane!" he offered, somehow managing to sound philosophical and thoughtful with an eyeful of Jiraiya's best. He darted his eye over the top of his book for a moment hopefully.

The two impudent, spoiled, possibly even _sacrilegious_ students were _ignoring_ him. _Again!_ _'Oh, _hell_ no!'_ he growled to himself. Kakashi was not someone who liked to share the fun-by-rude-behavior spotlight. He was not a man to chuckle at a prank pulled on him. His students could attest that when business wasn't afoot, he could actually be quite childish. _'They ain't seen nothing yet!'_ he vowed. "Hmmm, I wonder since you two are too cool for school, perhaps I should treat you to a more exuberant, unconventional teacher. Someone overflowing with…_youth!_" Somehow, Kakashi conveyed a sense of twirling a thin, villainous mustache to his students, despite wearing a mask and never having had a mustache to begin with.

"Sugoi!" "No freaking **WAY**, Kakashi-sensei!" were the two conflicting responses, and Kakashi giggled gleefully to himself and leaned back to watch the show. He had no intention of letting his darling students be corrupted by Maito Gai, but they didn't know that, and watching Sakura work her tender mercies on Naruto was always entertaining. _'Here we go!'_ He hungered for popcorn.

"Awww, but Sakura-chan, Gai-sensei and Lee are the best at taijutsu! Maybe we could learn that Heavenly Door stuff those two can do, y'know?" he offered hopefully. Not to mention Naruto _great_ around Gai and Lee, and it would be nice to visit with Neji again as well. Those two just made him feel all pumped up, and the three fed off of each other, hard work ramping up to new heights! With Kakashi, it was definitely bring your own enthusiasm. Unless you were talking about porn.

"Heavenly Door?" Sakura scoffed, cuffing Naruto lightly—for her, anyway—on the shoulder. "Naruto, you nitwit, it's 'Celestial Gates' and you are _not_ going to learn it, it's _way_ too dangerous, you've already got that over-the-top Fuuton Shuriken Rasengan that puts you through a cheese grater every time you use it!" Naruto opened his mouth to disagree, perhaps point to his bruised shoulder and talk about 'dangerous', but Sakura verbally ran over him. "And that's _final!_"

"Man and I wanted t'get one of their uniforms, too," Naruto mourned quietly to himself. Jiraiya had 'disappeared' the last one and anyway, even spandex couldn't fit after two years of growing. Naruto missed both Sakura's disgusted grimace at the thought of that horrid green, and the hints of a perverted leer at the thought of two young _very_ athletic young men sporting clothing of the painted-on variety.

Kakashi, of course, didn't, and appropriately let loose another perverted giggle and a knowing leer at Sakura. _'Heh, I trained her well at seeing underneath the underneath,'_ he grinned to himself behind his book. He had; Sakura caught the giggle and the glance, and flushed briefly while flicking her eyes at Naruto, before resuming her trademark scowl. _'Really, did you pay attention at all in kunoichi training?'_ Kakashi wondered idly. _'Perhaps it's just a case of familiarity weakening your instincts. Something to consider for later.'_

"Well, since your mind's made up…" Kakashi glanced hopefully at Naruto, hoping for more resistance, which would lead to more fighting and antics for his own amusement. He was disappointed; Naruto had learned _some_ discretion under Jiraiya. "Today will be taijutsu and ninjutsu for Sakura; taijutsu and genjutsu for Naruto. Sakura, half hour for all your forms, and then we'll review what techniques you know and what you should learn next. Naruto, you're with me for genjutsu," Kakashi grinned wickedly down at his genjutsu-impaired student, who shivered in response. _'Yamato, scarier than me? Ha!'_

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The trio wrapped up their training session grueling hours later. _'Ugh, I am a _mess!' Sakura groaned to herself. She had gotten over her problem with getting down and dirty years ago, and come to enjoy the feel of well-earned exhaustion. That did not mean she also enjoyed looking like crap afterwards. _'Is there a more evil teacher in the world?'_ She couldn't help but wonder what horrible crimes she had committed in a past life to merit Hatake Kakashi. Tsunade-sama was brutally demanding and utterly intolerant of error, but unless they were performing some training that required deceit, she was always straightforward. Her student almost always knew what to expect, which was comforting even when the forecast was 'Partly Bitchy with a 75 Chance of Hangover Violence'. The Copy-Nin, on the other hand…well, _his_ approach to teaching was illustrated in one of the first 'techniques' he had taught Team 7: the Thousand Years of Pain.

'_The worst part is he's too smart to use something like _that_ on me…he always stops _just_ short of the point of being enough of a jerk where I can _really_ get mad at him.'_ Fortunately, one of the many perks to being a highly skilled medic-ninja was that aches and pains rarely lasted long. _'I'm my own bottle of aspirin,'_ she grinned, a bit more cheerful. _'And if the old scarecrow asks me for help, well, tough shit!'_ Perhaps in pay pack for thoughts like that, Kakashi made a point of trying to take her to the razor's edge of chakra exhaustion, so she would be unable to self-heal. _'That would be _just_ like that sneaky bastard!' _She wanted very much to get back at him for the suspected offense, but unfortunately when it came to payback Haruno Sakura was not a subtle sort, and Kakashi required a masterful hand at getting even without killing outright.

'_Hmmm, maybe I can get Naruto-kun to help,'_ she grinned to herself. Now, _there_ was someone who knew how to make a guy sorry he'd screwed with you! His pranks were always funny, unless she had the misfortune of becoming collateral damage. In addition, she had learned from spending quite a lot of time with him since his return with Jiraiya-sama that most of his capers were actually ironically appropriate to a degree. When she thought about his childhood pranks coupled with his flair for ironic justice…well, it made her feel pretty awful sometimes. There had been so _many_. Even before his training journey, her self-image as a thoughtful, considerate girl had taken a major beating. _'Oh, damnit, cheer up girl, before…'_ she warned herself quickly when she became aware of how her thoughts were trending. She had resolved shortly after joining Team 7 to do better, and despite her initial slow start in that area she'd improved quite a lot as a person. But it was too late to avoid _some_ things…

'_**Hmmm, maybe **_**I**_** can get Naruto-kun to help with a **_**different**_** problem, eh?'**_ _'No! Ugh! Why can't you just…oh, forget it!'_ She groaned to herself. Somehow, her lewder, louder, meaner half conveyed perversely waggling eyebrows just through a few words. 'Inner-Sakura'—Sakura had no printable name for the mental voice—invariably appeared whenever Sakura started to feel too depressed, frightened, angry, ashamed, or self-pitying. She was always there, whispering and hinting, guiding and suggesting. When she thought about it Sakura attributed her dual-minded thought process to the abrupt and enormous change her life had taken when she entered the shinobi academy. Prior to that, she had been as ordinary as any little girl is, and was in fact a bit spoiled.

'_**Enough with the autobiography, girl! How're we gonna get Naruto-kun to help us get that one-eyed sumbitch?' **_Inner-Sakura demanded. It would have surprised her teammates to learn that she talked to herself nearly as much as Naruto spoke to himself. She just didn't need any clones. _'Hmmm. It's a tricky proposition. I _could_ just ask him, but he'd agree before I even finished asking. He still feels guilty…'_ She carefully kept her thoughts away from their aborted fight with Orochimaru at the Heaven and Earth Bridge. She couldn't and didn't blame Naruto for something that was inflicted on him at childbirth, but it had frightened her badly. _**'**_**Great**_** job, Yondaime-**_**sama**_**,' **_Inner-Sakura sneered; this went unchallenged by the leading lady.She forgave him at once, despite realizing there was anything _to _forgive, as soon as she'd realized what happened, but the shock of fear at the incredible toxicity and malevolence of Kyuubi's chakra had been noticed. Ever since Naruto had been even more committed than usual to giving her whatever she asked for, ten seconds ago.

_'Well, it'll still be easy. I can just hint at it. After that genjutsu training, Naruto is probably itching for some payback already. I can just piggyback on his payback!'_ she nodded to herself at her cleverness. Inner-Sakura nodded at something quite different. _**'You do that, girl. **_**I'll**_** piggyback on somethin' else entirely, thanks!'**_ More waggling eyebrows, a saucy smirking tone. _'But...wait! Where's he going already?'_ she groaned as Naruto nimbly trotted past her, calling out over his shoulder, "Later Sakura-chan, Kaka-sensei! I'm meetin' Iruka-sensei for some chow! I'm gonna clean him out!" he snickered.

"Bye Naruto, have fun!" she replied cheerfully, while Kakashi grunted from behind his smutty shield. _**'Way to go, dummy! You missed our chance! Next time ask first, think later!'**_ It was an attitude Sakura had no intention of embracing, although in this case it would have probably worked. _'Oh, well. I can't get a thought to stick between his ears when he's this hungry and someone else is paying for ramen. I wonder how Iruka-san manages?'_ The financial difficulties of feeding a two-legged black hole occupied her thoughts as she headed for the hospital, deciding to get an early start on her rounds for the evening.

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Near dawn the next morning, Sakura was tired enough to yawn but did not; shinobi training went deep. It had been a pretty tedious night, though a shinobi hospital was often worse than the ERs in the capital for violent injuries. There hadn't been any deaths. Tsunade had started the trend of widespread paramedic training for Konoha's shinobi back before she first left, so many years ago; her time as Hokage had put the finishing touches on the program, and now a jounin of Konoha was likely to be as good at emergency field medicine as a strictly specialized medical genin in some other villages. It was perhaps the most tangible example of the benefits of Konoha's humanitarian streak: death from mortal injury in Konoha was much lower than even Suna, who had begun to adopt some of the same methods. It was so bad in Iwagakure that what was known of Konoha's medical statistics were widely regarded as total propaganda in the rocky settlement.

_'Still, I've never seen anyone's _ear_ on fire before, and burn for twenty minutes no matter what.'_ The hazards of attempting to craft new jutsu were as strange as they were dangerous. Sakura sometimes thought that either the shinobi forefathers had been much more brilliant than her peers today, to have made so many techniques, or else they had gone through a _lot_ of revered ancestors just to have a substantial technique library. Sakura was a brilliant young woman, and her thoughts often wandered that way while she dug through bureaucratic nonsense. Approving requisitions, authorizing the latest set of consent forms, pay raises, pay cuts, time-off requests, and the brand of toilet paper…these things took time but little mental focus. She glanced at the clock with a tired smile. _'Just a little while longer, bed! You and me, we've got a date!' _She could get a little silly when she was sleepy.

**"Sakura-san!"** a frightened voice bellowed from down the hall. _'Oh, shit,'_ she thought. The sounds of a gurney slamming into a door along with a shout like _that_ meant trouble. Big trouble. _'You up to this?'_ she asked herself in an instant, gauging her weariness, and then nodded. She recognized the two paramedics, they were on shift with her at these hours, but then her gaze was captured by her patient. The patient was nearly two meters tall, a male shinobi by his footwear and physique. Nondescript black shorts, a ruined white t-shirt, cut straight down the middle to expose a muscular and apparently uninjured body. From the neck down, he looked the picture of health.

But his face, no, his entire head was completely enveloped in a thick, swirling mass of chakra. Sakura stood and stared for a brief moment; she had never seen anything like, though it tickled her memories of medical textbooks and journals. It was as much due to rampant curiosity as to expedience that Sakura skipped the usual initial diagnostic techniques, and studied the weird chakra-head with her eyes and senses for a moment. "What happened? Who is this?" she demanded of the paramedics, who were trying not to stare as at a carnival sideshow. It was distasteful, but she couldn't really blame them. It was _weird_ and frightening.

"We don't know, Sakura-san. He was found nose-down in a book at the library by the librarian when they opened," the senior paramedic explained. "It was like he'd collapsed there. The strange thing aside from the glowing head was even though it was closed, there were open books and pulled out chairs everywhere. The patient hasn't made a sound or moved on his own at all. Vitals are steady but low; we're not sure how long he's been like this. We're getting the librarians who worked last night to try and find out if they saw anyone matching this guy's description when they closed." The lead paramedic said no more and edged back discreetly, trying to put a little distance between him and the baffling chakra.

_'He's rattled, not that I blame him. The important thing is that he got the guy here…but I'll need to check if he secured the patient's head when moving him. He doesn't look like he'd touch this guy,'_ she noted. Like her teammates and any excellent shinobi, Sakura was excellent at multi-tasking. While resolving to look into the paramedic's grab of this patient, she was already deciding which diagnostic jutsu to use. _'First I need to analyze that chakra, to see if it's toxic,' _she decided.

Her hands moved dexterously through advanced medical seals, which were scarcely recognized by the paramedics. Medical ninja had a hand-seal vocabulary just as specialized as their jargon. _'Hmmm…this is close to the sort of chakra-flow you'll get with an espionage technique or a memory-enhancer…could this guy be a spy?' _The core of Tsunade's medical brilliance was not in her ability to successfully treat nearly any known ailment, but in how quickly she could find out what was afflicting her patients. More than anything, that gave her the most important resource, _time. _This specialty was passed on to her pupil, who used it to great effect in healing Sabaku no Kankuro.

Sakura set her worry aside. If this _was_ a spy, it was perhaps even more important that she heal him to be passed on to T&I. The chakra was non-toxic, so guiding her fingers into a different set of seals, she deftly plunged delicate hands into the swirling mass to touch the head beneath. The junior paramedic gulped nervously. Sakura was so focused on controlling her chakra in the face of the swirling flows that she did not notice at first what should have been plainly evident.

_'No…that's…no…'_ she pulled her hands back quickly, rubbing her fingers in desperation, trying to rub the distinct feeling of narrow grooves in the patient's cheeks away. She could not yet see his head, but, _'__**NO!**__' _Yes, yes, there it was! She had noted the ordinary strand of a necklace around the patient's wiry neck, but could not see the piece of jewelry itself, down amidst his ruined shirt. Tugging it aside, she was horrified to find a glinting piece of incredibly valuable gemstone, uncut, slightly polished. Uzumaki Naruto, here, on her table, with a strange and baffling chakra swirling around his blonde head. Found lying in the library unconscious after maybe eight hours.

"G-get…" Sakura took a deep, shaky breath, and her voice was changed when she spoke again. "_**You!**_" She pointed imperiously at the senior paramedic, suddenly disgusted with their fear and her own. "Get your ass to the Tower, right-the-hell-now! Wake the Hokage. I don't care how hung over she is. This is Uzumaki Naruto. Tell her what you've told me. _Why are you still standing there?! If you're not back in ten minutes, by Kami I'll wear your balls for earrings! __**MOVE!**__" _His face had gone a sickly, pasty white at the sincere threat, and he saluted hastily and bolted out of the ER to do her bidding.

"And you!" Somehow, an artfully manicured finger made the raging chuunin appear even _more_ fearsome, not less, when it was a centimeter from the junior paramedic's wide, fearful eyeball. "Find me that filthy Toad Hermit. Check the inns in the red-light district. Tell him what's happened here. I don't care what he's doing now. Get him back here, or I'll have a necklace of your intestines to match my new earrings!" she growled with a bunched up fist. The paramedic needed no further coaxing; in fact he was nearly at the door as soon as she said 'filthy Toad Hermit'.

Her next shout nearly shook the walls. "**NURSE!**" A frightened looking young man peeked into the room. "Don't just cower like a genin! I want the heads of Neurology and ETT down here in ten minutes! **GO!**" The nurse hurried to do so. Alone with her teammate, Sakura shuddered slightly and with an act of iron will calmed herself again, and set to performing her second diagnostic technique. She expected no breakthroughs in just a few minutes, but she would try.

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It was a very near thing. The paramedics were fast; Tsunade and Jiraiya returned, both pale with fear, just minutes after Sakura sent for them. They both looked like Death on horseback, and it wasn't because both sported the bloodshot eyes of hangovers. Tsunade stared for a moment aghast at Naruto, then demanded and got a full report from her student on the patient's condition. Naruto's brain was filled well past the bursting point with information-bearing chakra. Sakura had no ideas as to cause. When the two Sannin arrived, she had been in the midst of desperately seeking some method to siphon it off. It was an esoteric, advanced branch of medicine she had not yet studied.

Meanwhile Jiraiya moved to the middle of the table, and began an intense study of Naruto's stomach. Soon strange, swirling black marks appeared on his skin as Jiraiya sent some of his chakra questing into the area. "The seal is intact. Kyuubi is extremely restive, but inactive from what I can detect. If this is what I think it is, there's probably not much even it can do…but _I_ might be able to manage something," he informed the two medics. Some of the tension neither had been permitting themselves to feel ebbed.

The door to the ER opened a crack and Shizune poked her head in. "They're coming," she whispered urgently. Tsunade nodded, jerking her head to the door while looking at Jiraiya. He grunted. "Find out quickly, Hime," and went out. Sakura could hear agitated voices coming from the hallway. The Slug Sannin had already plunged her own hands into the swirling mass of energy, and from her expression Sakura could tell she was performing her own diagnostic. She was not offended.

"That'll be the Elders. You did well to call Jiraiya here. If he hadn't been here, they would've demanded a look at the seal, and distracted and interrupted me," Tsunade explained distastefully. Sakura nodded breathlessly, waiting for her master's report. "Oh, God!" she gasped, biting back a sob, shaking her head. "He's minutes away from hemorrhaging," Tsunade reported, ruthlessly shutting down her fright. "He was found in a library, right? With lots of books around, all left open?" she demanded confirmation abruptly, and Sakura nodded.

"Good. We've got a shot. Get Jiraiya back in here, right now. Tell him what I just asked; he'll know what to do. I won't be able to talk. I've got to try and ease this pressure, Sakura. Keep it together," she ordered. Whether she was speaking to herself or her pupil was unclear. Her student obeyed, and showed no hesitation in interrupting the important conversation between Elders and Sannin outside.

"Tsunade-sama needs you back in here, now," she commanded. To their credit, neither Elders or Sannin argued, and the two old teammates of the Sandaime stayed outside to speak with Shizune. Sakura could tell her senior comrade would very much rather be inside, but Sakura lacked the status to really keep the Elders under control _outside_ the ER. Jiraiya clearly couldn't be spared. Sakura ducked back into the room to await more instructions. _'Be alright, be alright, not again, not _another_ one, be alright, be alright…'_ was a steady drone going on in the back of her mind. It might even have been Inner-Sakura, though it sounded nothing like her usual boisterous confidence.

The Toad Hermit strode over to a second table brimming with tools. With a sweep of his forearm, all went to the floor, dirtied and ruined for surgery. "Jiraiya-sama!—"Sakura began, shocked, but the hermit cut her off. "I need every single blank scroll or book you can get your hands on in the next five minutes, Sakura. Now! Get help for it. Go!" he barked. If it were anyone other than Jiraiya who had just ruined an ER's set of tools, Sakura would have put up a fight. But the Sannin seemed totally in control, so she did as instructed, permitting herself a bit of hope.

When she returned the table was covered with a large scroll, inked so precisely yet with so much density that in places it looked less like characters and seals than ink blots. Little streamers of paper were stuck onto the large master scroll, also covered in seal work, stretching across to another table that had been rolled up, and stretched over and around every inch of it. An intricate cluster of coiled strands of paper, similarly covered, stretched from the table and lay resting near Naruto's head, which was still swirling with an undiminished amount of chakra. Sakura and two nurses had managed to pile three wheelchairs high with blank journals, report logs, and scrolls.

"This is everything we could find, Jiraiya-sama! What next?" she asked breathlessly.

"Arrange the biggest books you can fond on this table. Prop them open as best you can. Cover every inch of it with an open book, but don't stack them on top of each other. Make sure they're all touching, and at least one book on every tray is touching one of my streamers," Jiraiya commanded. Soon the rolling table, with three extra trays beneath the top for more storage, was laden as ordered. "Hime! I'm ready when you are," the Hermit told the Princess.

She nodded without speaking, and Jiraiya moved up closer to Naruto. Forming a hand seal, another specialized gesture for seal techniques, Jiraiya murmured quietly and then laid the fragile rope of streamers atop Naruto's head, about where his forehead would be. There was a quiet but distinctive crackling noise, and the blue energy began to swirl more quickly. Sakura noted with awe that the rope of streamers was beginning to glow blue, gradually traveling back down to the table. Soon the large cluster of seals and characters filling the scroll on the first table was glowing brightly. For a moment, nothing else happened. Then the streamers leading to the book table began to glow. As soon as the chakra reached the books through the streamers, they began to fill up with writing at an incredible pace. The pages did not turn, but Sakura just knew somehow that they were being filled cover to cover with information. The hardbacks cracked shut loudly after a few moments, and Jiraiya deftly took out the completed books and replaced them with empties.

Both Sannin appeared much relieved now, though still tense, frightened, and angry; they were examining the completed books. "_Who_ taught the brat about mass shadow-clone learning and didn't warn him about Cortical Overload Syndrome?" Tsunade demanded in a chilly voice when she saw what had been written there. Sakura, seeing them calm down, relaxed a bit herself and took a look of her own. The swirling mass around Naruto's head was noticeably thinner. She could nearly make out his features now. The books were on many subjects. Languages, mechanics, sciences, literature, history; though the text was in places incomplete and garbled, Sakura could recognize old school textbooks she had studied in the Academy. She was at first shocked and then angry enough to level the Hokage monument.

"Are you telling me that Naruto nearly exploded his goddamn _brain_ by botching that perverted, one-eyed, gray-haired, mask-wearing _moron's_ training method?! Goddamnit, when I find that stringy, too-tall $#er, he'll wish he'd already lost _both _eyes!" Tsunade nodded in furious agreement, the two making a sisterhood of outraged women; Jiraiya looked frightened at first, but then a silly grin spread over his face. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been near Tsunade when she was so furious, and it wasn't at _him!_

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Eventually, Sakura and Tsunade learned that Kakashi _had_ warned Naruto of the dangers of shadow-clone learning; the jounin had just not been very thorough. Were the two women less angry, they might not have blamed him. After all, who could have predicted Naruto would use the training in a _library?_ He avoided the places like they were Akatsuki pep rallies. Kakashi's method of shadow-clone training posed only minimal dangers.

C.O.S. was a painful but minor risk when mass shadow clones were used to all train in one, identical exercise, such as cutting a leaf with wind chakra. When a thousand Narutos tried to do so, and eventually succeeded and then dispersed, what resulted was that Naruto obtained a thousand very slightly differing sets of the same information. "It'd be like if this blonde brat read an epic poem," Tsunade explained to Sakura, as usual converting a patient's problem into a lesson. The two medics smirked and snorted at the likelihood of her example ever becoming reality. "If he read it a second time, he _might_ (but probably wouldn't) learn something new from it, but it wouldn't be a whole new body of knowledge. It wouldn't take up much more space," she chatted while Sakura took notes. "And even _then_, applying that example to mass shadow-clone training: it still causes great pain and exhaustion for him to re-read that 'epic poem' over and over again."

But things changed with numerous, widely differing exercises. Naruto had snuck into the library after dinner with Iruka-sensei. Once inside, he created dozens of shadow clones, and they all got started reading the basics of many different subjects. Naruto had long since grown tired of his book-dumbs (as opposed to book-smarts) causing him problems, and naturally decided to take the fastest route to correct the problem. Fastest is sometimes most dangerous. While the original Naruto spoiled his brain by reading comics, the others were studying all sorts of things. Eventually they were all finished, and Naruto braced himself for a major headache and dispelled the clones. It was the last thing he remembered before waking up the next morning.

All that information had to be transferred somehow. It didn't just teleport into his brain by _magic_; chakra was _energy_, and though it was sometimes thought of as magic, it was not. All the information a shadow clone had when dispersed that it had _not_ had when created worked its way back to its maker. Naruto's brain was not elastic. There was simply too much information-chakra to be absorbed. It immediately caused an overload and the brain all but shut down in shock. It was only Naruto's naturally heightened vitality, due both to Kyuubi and his own heartiness, prevented his brain from suffering dozens of massive strokes within seconds of collapsing.

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Kakashi's punishment for 'Failure to Adequately Instruct Pupil' was two week's required punctuality, two weeks of wearing only _one_ mask, and storing his Icha Icha collection in plain sight in his apartment. Tsunade, not knowing the jounin very well, had planned on stopping at two weeks of punctuality; Shizune and especially Sakura pitched in. They made sure the punishments were made public, and thus indirectly caused quite a lot of extra suffering and frustration for the Copy-Nin. Many Konoha shinobi tried to take advantage of the opportunities their discipline provided.

Jiraiya's good fortune didn't last long. His punishment for having the misfortune of being near Tsunade when she was angry and being Jiraiya was to add a new window to the hospital, the hard way.

Naruto's punishment for 'Improper Safety Precautions While Attempting New Jutsu' (for even though C.O.S. was known and indeed predictable in the circumstances, Naruto _thought_ he was trying something new) was defined by both Tsunade _and_ Sakura as 'Subjective and Ongoing'. He had retained some of the knowledge his shadow clones had gained, that which had been absorbed initially and what continued to be absorbed once the majority of the overload was siphoned off. So he knew that his punishment was basically, "We get to screw with you as badly as we want, for as long as we feel like it."

He didn't complain. Sakura and Tsunade were baffled by that and then laughed, guessing that Naruto had been scared into submission. Naruto let them laugh, for he laughed in his heart and was happy. Though it had come from a near death experience, even though it led to weeks of hazing and punishment, the young man counted himself lucky. For when he woke up that morning, he woke up to the sight of three of the most important women in his life, and one of the most important men, trying and in some cases failing to restrain tears of relief that he had survived. As the morning went on, he would receive the rest of his important people as visitors, before he was released. It became one of his most treasured memories.

Of course, a few weeks later when he was _still_ feeling the heat, and he got a boring 'guard the wagons' mission, he was getting tired of it…

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Author's Notes: 

1-10-2008

Words: 6150

Hits: 668, 97 for the fourth installment

Reviews: 12

Favorites: 8

C2s: 1

Alerts: 10

On Reviews: I've officially changed my slightly snooty policy on reviews: more reviews eventually means more readers, so please, if anyone was swayed by my previous statements on reviews, kindly disregard them! Heh.

An excellent reading recommendation for y'all: **Densetsu no Sannin: Repetition **by the author Wilhelm Junker. For the number of reviews it's gotten, it is easily one of the best epic-length Naruto fanfics I've ever read. Hell, set aside that qualifier: it's easily one of the best Naruto fanfics I've ever read. It also has shamefully few reviews, making me doubt the taste of all you fanfic readers out there! Give it a look!

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As you guys can see, this story is a bit of an interlude. I did this for a few reasons. One, I like Team 7. They're fun to write for, they're fun to imagine doing funny stuff, and there's more pre-existing emotional weight for me to build on. I also felt a need to ensure Naruto had at least one chapter strongly tying him to Konoha, since I expect this story will end shortly after he returns on his mission. Other stories will probably follow later in the same timeline. Two, I'm very interested in Sakura at this point in Part 2. To me it's clear she likes Naruto now, but how exactly, and which way will it go? The way I see it, the affection she has for him could just as easily turn into a maternal sort of affection—after all, Sakura is already a medic and clearly enjoys helping people, and Naruto could badly use some help—or standard romantic affection.

If this story ever has any sort of pairing, it will _probably_ be Naruto and Sakura. While Hinata is a sweetheart, I think she would be a poor match for Naruto at this point in canon-and 'canon' is where this story is right now, except as otherwise noted. She's certainly not a bad person; she has shown times of being just as courageous and self-sacrificing as Naruto is, and just as committed to working hard for her goals. I look forward to seeing what happens with Hinata now that she's actually an 'on-stage' character here in Part 2. But…the two have almost nothing in common aside from that. What would Naruto see in her that he _doesn't_ see in other girls? She would be an eternal spectator to his activities, if they got together at this point. She does think his pranks are funny and his qualities endearing, but she doesn't have the grab-life-by-the-horns mentality Naruto seems to. She has adopted his philosophy on some of the most important things, but not really so much in everyday life.

To me, Naruto is 'fierce'. He seems to take every second of life and wring every last drop out of it. He's 'going down the road where there are no regrets', or at least trying to, if I'm paraphrasing correctly. Hinata is in some ways almost _defined_ by her regrets, and in a big way-fainting and not telling Naruto how she feels-they still have a chokehold on her. Heh, almost _literally_ a chokehold. I've enjoyed many NaruHina stories, but my favorites are invariably stories where Hinata gets some fire in her belly, and eventually gives as good as she gets.

Hinata is a great person, I think, and deserves to have good things happen to her; she also even understands Naruto pretty well, from what I've seen. This does not mean the pair would make a good match without some serious changing-on both sides, of course.

000000

I also staged this interlude because I'm still stewing on how to handle the next chapter in the story. How to handle the Maaya tour/date? I suspect I will make her a minor, recurring OC. I'll need to see how much I enjoy writing for her. I've also left myself open to the possibility of the story becoming Naruto-Tenten, since he will be seeing the weapons mistress about some training with his kusarikama (and I just think those things are cool as hell!)…but I'm a bit leery of doing so, since Tenten is so uncharted in canon as to be nearly an OC, and I am deeply leery of my abilities to do that.

The final reason is to address a problem I see often in many Naruto fanfictions published after the Wind Shuriken Rasengan training: Mass Shadow Clone Training and learning. Many, _many_ authors seem to use this as the fast-track to Uberville, Population: Naruto. Blegh! It's too easy, it's too boring. While Kage Bunshin _is_ an undeniably rad technique, as fictitious ninjutsu go, for it to be viable and interesting in a story-to me-it's _got_ to have limitations. For fighting, these limitations are numerous. They get in the way, they're extremely vulnerable, they cost a lot of chakra-even though Naruto's got lots-and they're only as good at fighting as the original.

I've outlined my thoughts on other limitations of shadow clones in this interlude. To me, they're pretty plausible and already hinted at. It's already dreadfully wearying to get lots of copies of the same tasks, even small tasks like leaf-cutting. What if you got lots of 'downloads' of _many_ kinds of information, all at once? The way I see it, Kyuubi can't heal sudden massive fatal brain damage, no more than it could heal Naruto if his head were chopped off and then disintegrated. So no Kyuubi quick-fix, either.


	6. Chapter 4: Care for a tour, sir?

_**YAKUSHI KABUTO**_

_**COMMANDER**_

_**OTOGAKURE INTELLIGENCE DIVISION**_

_**Foreward**_

_This memo is one in a series ordered by Orochimaru-sama to inform Oto-shinobi about persons of interest among our enemies. It is not a complete dossier, but should still help all personnel to learn and execute their responsibilities with respect to these people of interest to the Otokage._

_Be warned. Everyone who appears in this series is more dangerous than they appear. Despite their status as enemies of Sound, some of them are very useful to our leader, and you will earn his displeasure should you kill one he wishes left alive._

_000000_

_**SECRET**_

_**Memorandum to Otogakure military personnel**_

_Subject: Uzumaki Naruto, aka 'The One Man Army'_

_Prepared by: Yakushi Kabuto_

_Status: Alive; active as Konoha chuunin_

_Threat: Variable. Ranging from B-class to S-class; see complete dossier (classified)_

_Information & Orders:_

_Uzumaki Naruto and his background is something of an enigma. Despite his behavior, he is the most well-trained Konoha chuunin alive today. However, his profile is atypical for a shinobi. He would prefer a stand-up fight even against the most dangerous enemies. His manner is loud, brash, and on the surface quite stupid. He has shown himself willing to forgive nearly any offense against him, but almost none to his allies. Despite failing the Genin Exams at Konoha's Shinobi Academy at least three times, he was a lifelong personal friend of Sandaime Hokage-sama. As a genin, he was trained by Hatake Kakashi and the Toad Sannin, Jiraiya-sama. He is most commonly teamed with Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi, and Sai. Partial information on all of his comrades can be found in this series. For more detail, see your superior about clearance for the complete dossiers._

_Team 7 is as dangerous as any cell we have in Otogakure, and even many squads. Should you encounter them, never attempt elimination without a high degree of tactical superiority. As for Uzumaki Naruto himself, intelligence on him is incomplete due to his long absence from Konoha. We can, however, give information about his known favored techniques and tactics. 'One Man Army' describes his skill with the shadow clone technique since shortly before his promotion to genin. Creating dozens or even hundreds of shadow clones does not tire him._

_These days, his clones make him as unpredictable as the Nara clan in combat. You can never be certain if you are looking at the _real_ Naruto. After his training journey with Jiraiya-sama, Naruto has further improved his combat strategy. Reports suggest that his favored tactic is to blanket an area in shadow clones and then conceal his true body by henge. His skill with henge no jutsu nearly matches his master of shadow clones.._

_His other favored attack ninjutsu is Rasengan (see complete dossier on Namikaze Minato (classified)). It is unclear how he learned this technique at such a young age or why Jiraiya-sama chose to teach him when to our sources suggest few still alive are capable of the technique. If you are struck with a Rasengan, even peripherally, death is all but certain. Beware._

_His taijutsu is approximately chuunin level as of our last reports; if you can prevent him from making clones, you should have an advantage. His genjutsu abilities are almost nil, though he is strong at resisting them himself._

_As for other techniques and tactics, these remain as yet unknown. Any new combat methods observed must be reported immediately. However, he has been studying for years under Jiraiya-sama. Expect to deal with a wide variety of summoning techniques, specifically for toads. Uzumaki Naruto is known to have successfully summoned and partnered Gamabunta-sama on at least one occasion. _

_While Jiraiya-sama's jutsu library is not as extensive as Orochimaru-sama's, it is still impressive, with methods to deal with any situation. He is believed to have passed much of his knowledge on already. Expect to be surprised by what techniques this chuunin knows. It remains uncertain whether or not he has been instructed in the use of seals._

_Should you encounter Uzumaki Naruto in the course of another mission, you are ordered noXXXXX(scroll is torn off here)_

_**---partial document retrieved from within Otogakure**_

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"OK, I've already had a couple bowls so I won't be so hungry. My clothes are as clean as they'll get after a day of hiking. Pits don't stink, nothing in my teeth, hair looks _great_." This last vanity he owed to Sandaime, who had mourned his own lost locks. Naruto had made it a point to frequently mock his Gramps on the matter, deliberately going for months without a haircut and asking if the old man wouldn't like a blonde wig? But the funny memory only distracted him from his anxiety for a little while.

Uzumaki Naruto was not much of a dater, neither in natural talent or experience. Ero-sennin had frequently tried mightily to get his disciple to take advantage his intriguing complexion, friendly personality, and soldier's physique when it came to interacting with women (otherwise referred to with a wink and a leer as 'the ladies'), but he'd had little success.

While the two traveled through the shinobi nations and beyond, Naruto's refusals of these efforts were loud and logical. He had too much to learn: _Sasuke_ sure wasn't wasting time learning how to smooth talk young women. Naruto would never be interested in someone recommended by a 'super-pervert' anyway, and maybe he should start writing his weekly report to Granny Tsunade if they weren't going to be doing anything? Naruto was not above tattling if it got the Toad Sage's mind off of living vicariously through his student and back onto _training_ that student.

In fact if he wasn't curious about Wakaga, or if he'd had the time and space for some solid training, he probably wouldn't even be here waiting for a dinner date with a kunoichi. _'Right, be sure not to mention that,'_ he reminded himself with a grimace. His mouth had grown a _little_ more attached to his mind since his return to Konoha; to be precise, since the long-awaited reunion of a certain kunoichi's fist and his jaw. 'Would Sakura-chan deck me for saying that?' was a _much_ more effective saying than 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'.

_'Well I'm still hungry and I don't wanna pig out in front of Maaya-san.' _Here he showed a degree of forethought that might have surprised his teammates, but to Naruto those guys were family, and you didn't worry about that stuff with family. "One more bowl, old timer!" he shouted towards the kitchen, and the innkeeper replied with shocked delight. Naruto frequently made restaurant owners weep with joy, while the cooks (if they didn't own the place) gnashed their teeth.

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"H-hey there, Maaya-san!" Naruto called out at his comrade. His chair scuffed noisily on the floor as he stood up, and he hastily picked it up to quiet the racket. His pragmatic notions for their dinner rendezvous (learn about Wakaga, make friends, spend time with a cute girl) rapidly reversed themselves. Only a mighty act of will kept his face from stretching into a perverse leer when he stood, though his eyes gaped slightly and his faced twitched just a little. The part of him that was trained to notice everything about everything noted without really _noticing_ that the corners of her mouth quirked up a bit.

"Won't you…sit down?" he invited, beckoning her over to the table. Her clothing hinted at 'Mitarashi Anko', the thin black mesh that was both practical and enticing adorning her bust, waist, and thighs. _'Eh-heh heh heh heh! __**RESEARCH!**__' _It took another manful exertion of will to shut down the voice of Jiraiya that threatened to infect his mind, and fortunately for Naruto's virtue the similarities to Anko ended there. Maaya was wearing clothing, _opaque_ clothing beneath the mesh; it just _alluded_ to the Anko's style.

"Ahh Maaya-chan!" the innkeeper called out with a friendly wave. "Your food'll be out in just a minute. Yakisoba for you, all the ramen I got for this guy," his chin pointed at Naruto while he cooked, who was just grateful the old man didn't point out he'd already had one…well, _a few_ bowls already. Six really, but who was counting? The whole point of ordering early was to avoid looking like a school of famished piranha, after all.

"Oh, _is_ it? Well that sounds great, thanks," Maaya smiled straight at Naruto while speaking to the innkeeper. She'd looked _very_ irritated when the man mentioned their food was nearly ready, but her expression shifted into smug pleasure when she heard 'yakisoba'. "Did you ask him what my favorite was, Naruto-kun?" she sat back in her chair with a knowing grin on her face. Naruto couldn't be sure, but he thought she was wearing just a little makeup. Her frank stare made him shift his gaze to the fire and rub the back of his head sheepishly.

"Ummm, yeah." 'Bashful' was not a word normally associated with Uzumaki Naruto, but Maaya's appearance and demeanor had…_startled_ wasn't quite the right word, but it was sure close! He felt twelve again, and she looked to be past twenty. _'Eh-hehe, wouldn't kick _her_ out of bed for eating crackers, brat!'_ The lewd giggles of his mentor were completely ignored this time, and Naruto resolved to work the perverted old bastard over with some especially malicious pranks.

"Well thank you Naruto-kun, I really appreciate it. I love yakisoba!" Maaya smiled pleasantly. Her foot bumped Naruto's beneath the table, and even though Naruto topped her by at least ten millimeters it seemed like he had to look up at her to say, "Don't worry about it. All I did was ask the innkeeper if he knew what you liked."

"You're too modest, Naruto-kun, it was thoughtful," she rebutted. Then their food arrived. Her fingers were delicate, her mouth sensual as she dined. Not that Naruto could tell, though; she just seemed a bit more interesting and attractive. Naruto had not been in such an inferior, ill-prepared position since he'd faced Yakushi Kabuto years ago.

This was because he almost no experience interacting with a kunoichi using her special training to entice. Had one of his female comrades been there eating dinner with him as well, they would have recognized it at once: Maaya's appearance, speech, movement, even the way she ate was all geared towards subtle seduction. Kunoichi didn't just learn ikebana in their special classes.

Maaya wasn't really to be blamed for this, though. Using what she'd been taught was only natural, and anyway she expected that like all her male peers, Naruto had been trained to deal with kunoichi. But along with history, spelling, grammar, complex mathematics, science…well, a _bunch_ of things, Naruto had thoroughly ignored those lessons. Hatake Kakashi had intended (eventually) to get to that awkward area, but their time together was short. Jiraiya's approach to dealing with a kunoichi's seduction was, "Yes, please!" So our hero was in an awkward spot.

But the truth was Naruto would've been pretty jittery even if _no_ feminine wiles were used. Maaya was an attractive young woman who was older than him, after all, and dressed to kill. But despite, or perhaps _because_ of his jittery nerves his stammering, guileless responses were flattering to his date. Once again, he had done what he'd done best: won someone over. Of course he'd never really done it like _this_ before.

"Itadakimasu!" Maaya said with relish, watching Naruto while he ate. She effortlessly guided their conversation throughout their meal.

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"Wow, no shinobi parents? You must be pretty good!" Naruto had so far managed to avoid talking with his mouth full, so he hoped he hadn't looked _too_ stupid. He'd cleverly (he thought) steered the talk to Maaya, and she obliged. Even more cleverly she had steered the conversation to all things Naruto, but that didn't last long since she already knew quite a few tidbits about his life and exploits; a benefit of being an unusual (but not unattractive) looking minor celebrity.

"Yeah, Mom's a nurse in the hospital. She can use chakra a little, but just for medical stuff. Dad's a civilian liaison to the Mission Appraisal Committee." She explained that his job was to shepherd civilians through Konoha's bureaucracy. They were also Konoha's first line of defense in a way, for they unobtrusively vetted mission contracts to weed out those who might try to underrate their mission and save money, or worse: spies and agents provocateur.

Of course that wasn't all he'd learned. His interest was earnest and pleasing to her, so while they ate Naruto learned that she was older than him, seventeen to his fifteen years. A first-attempt graduate of the Shinobi Academy, from there she continued her training at the Shinobi Training Center. _'I've heard of that place before, the Shinobi Training Center,'_ he thought, searching his memory. It was a place he had narrowly missed attending himself.

Naruto's genin career had been spent, along with the Rookie Nine, as one part of a four-man cell. But he was surprised to learn that these cells were the elite of the new genin. A three-to-one student-teacher ratio was, in fact, extremely effective. Only Naruto's stunning victory over Mizuki and his complete success learning a forbidden jounin technique had granted him the right to his apprenticeship to Hatake Kakashi.

Unfortunately while effective, this ratio of genin-to-jounin was too costly. Even if every jounin were suited to teaching and protecting new genin, there weren't enough of the elite to spare for _every_ new genin; and all jounin were _not_ suited to teaching. Morino Ibiki, Mitarashi Anko, Hatake Kakashi, and Sarutobi Asuma were all examples of experienced, elite Konoha jounin who were ill-suited to training others.

(The last two on that list were only marginally ill-suited, and so when faced with the extraordinary Rookie Nine Sandaime had flung them headlong into their new jobs, over strenuous protest. The former two were kept as far from genin, civilians, and the sick and elderly as possible.)

A more conventional training regime was required. Those Konoha genin who weren't potential prodigies were nurtured after the Academy in the Shinobi Training Center, or STC. They met their commanders in the STC, were grouped by dozens and became squads, and whenever possible were kept together after their graduation years later.

"Our squads are the ones who do the conventional military work for Konoha. We guard the borders, protect the KSZ, and make long random patrols throughout Fire Country to 'show the flag'," Maaya explained. This year, her squad was deployed to the KSZ. In fact the other three chuunin in Wakaga were her squad mates.

'_I wonder what that would've been like?'_ He spent much more time training than he did in the field, and even though he knew he needed it, he sometimes wished for more, to be helping his home _now_ rather than training to do so in the future. But he was too sensible to desire to be in Konoha's 'conventional' military (conventional being a subjective word, after all), and not given to might-have-beens anyway.

The two finished their meal. Maaya had seconds while Naruto had…well, he'd lost count. The innkeeper had taken his empties and washed them to be reused by the same customer. The important thing was he was full! _'Prices are great out here!'_ "Ahh, that was delicious, thanks very much, Naruto-kun," Maaya smiled gratefully. He paid with alacrity, only narrowly preventing his date from learning what a glutton he was (_'Gotta remember to take care of that _first next time!_'_), and the two stepped out of the inn into Wakaga.

'_Well this isn't bad so far,'_ he thought to himself. The date was going swimmingly, if he did say so himself. He didn't realize that he'd damn near have to crap his pants for the date _not_ to go well. Any kunoichi worth her salt, and some of the more sly civilian women, would have quickly noted that Maaya was on the hunt. Naruto was definitely 'prey' in _this_ engagement.

'_After all,'_ she thought to herself, well pleased, _'How often does a girl fresh out of the STC get a date with the One Man Army?'_ Maaya deftly took Naruto's arm and the pair strolled through Wakaga.

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When Naruto thought he felt chakra thrumming through the walls of Wakaga, he knew the tour would be everything he'd hoped. Unfortunately, the added distraction of pretty-girl-on-arm killed Naruto's chances of behaving like the experienced traveler he was. Maaya guided him through the settlement easily as if he'd been a horse; a subtle squeeze of the wrist, a gentle nudge of the hips, a small smiling nod, and he went where she led without really noticing.

While thus reducing his brain capacity to that of a lobster, she explained what they were seeing. Here was a tannery-his nose did all the explaining needed _there_-there was the entrance to the copper mine, this was Wakaga's silo and that was a woodworking shop for high-end furniture, and there was a small building that turned out tatami mats for export to Konoha.

"But where are all the fields, the ranches? Fujita-san, he was telling me earlier that food and livestock would be most of what we took back, and I haven't seen a single rice plant," Naruto inquired. His curiosity had briefly restored his wits. _'Where's all the food?'_ The teamsters were hard at work in a line from the silo to the caravan, heaving huge sacks of grains and foodstuffs to the caravan. Everywhere was the smell of cow, pig, and chicken cooped and stabled, ready for the caravan in the morning. He had no idea where they'd come from, though.

"Don't worry Naruto-kun, that's part of the tour too," Maaya grinned up at her companion, pleased to know the thing he was so interested in. "For now, let me show you this wall here," she offered and led the blond chuunin right up to one of the thick, daunting fortification. Now that they were closer, Naruto was _sure_ he felt chakra, even extending up into the air and down into the ground. But not ordinary chakra

"I'm sure you noticed this before, right? All the strange chakra in Wakaga?" Maaya asked and Naruto nodded eagerly. "Well, it's just another thing we owe to Yondaime-sama, Naruto-kun. Wakaga would be a more difficult, dangerous place without these," she said and reached up to the wall. Lifting up a cloth which blended perfectly with the wall, she exposed the dark, almost blue-black inked characters of fuinjutsu.

'_Ahh, I knew it!' _An earlier guess was confirmed: Wakaga was defended by seals. His mind was abuzz with the possibilities and he wasn't quite paying full attention to his guide.

"Wow, that's amazing Maaya-san!" Naruto exclaimed. Her explanation was incomplete and wrong in places; obviously Wakaga's static defenses didn't need any sort of oversight from the guards. He was being nothing but sincere when he called it 'amazing', but his ignorant curiosity was faked.

Naruto studied the seal quickly with an experienced eye, disguising his expertise as well as he'd ever hidden unhappy loneliness. He thought back to Ero-Sennin many warnings about keeping his knowledge secret...

"Plenty of people back home are stupid," he said. "They'd be scared out of their little minds if 'The Demon' started learning fuinjutsu, so we'll be noble and spare them that fear!" he grinned. Naruto's quick and eager learning of sealcrafting pleased Jiraiya, but made him wary as well.

"There's another danger. Sealcrafters make very valuable prisoners, since you can stick em in a prison and have em crank out goodies with a little torture incentive." Naruto shivered, for Jiraiya had told him how Morino Ibiki acquired all his scars, even the ones that didn't show. "And Konoha sealcrafters are the best in the shinobi nations. I'm a hot commodity just for being a Seal Master!" He grinned lewdly, and it was only with a glare that Naruto avoided hearing why _else_ the pervert was a 'hot commodity'.

"So remember: unless you want _every_ hidden village after your hide instead of just a bunch of lunatics, keep quiet about fuinjutsu unless absolutely necessary. Tsunade-hime'd have my guts for garters if I got you into the Bingo Books," he rubbed his head nervously.

At first the thought was flattering, to be wanted for skill and knowledge rather than a demon stuffed in his navel. But Jiraiya quickly disabused broke him of any desire to show off, for fuinjutsu at least. The two were delayed and bothered by a quite a few bounty hunters already, and they tried all sorts of desperate tricks. Naruto decided he just didn't have time for regular disruptions like that, so he kept their training quiet.

So while Maaya showed him more of the defenses, Naruto played tourist. It was a good cover, since he could do it while thinking back on that seal grafted onto the wall. He noted the parts he recognized, and carefully memorized those he couldn't for further study. _'There, that one for concealment, that's a good one, remember it; this one's for detection, probably trips an alarm if someone clears the wall; those two must extend it above and below, so enemies can't just burrow under or jump over it; there, that one's something for…repulsion, maybe.'_

"You're damn right it's amazing, Naruto-kun!" Maaya replied with the fierce pride someone who loves what she defends. "We've got seals all over Wakaga to protect it, and over most of the settlements throughout the KSZ. It's too bad you're not staying longer, or I could try and get you clearance to see the most important ones. Yes, too bad," she said in a voice that said yes, it really _was_ too bad he wasn't staying longer, but her regret had little to do with being unable to show him more.

That and the way she walked closer to him as they continued was so startling and so attention-getting that he very nearly forgot to take a look around. The experience of a pretty girl on his arm clearly courting _him_—though socially awkward, Naruto was no fool and had eventually caught the hints—was so unexpected and pleasant that thoughts of seals were driven entirely out of his mind. It also had something to do with her hips bumping into him gently every few steps.

'_Argh, damn you Ero-sennin!'_ he cursed his teacher. He had spent so much time with perverts that he didn't realize that even if he'd been raised by castrated ascetic monks, Maaya _still_ would've been a distraction. _'Alright, focus Naruto. Remember, you're supposed to be learning. Yes, learning. Be professional. Learn,'_ he reminded himself.

Then Maaya—could she read his freaking _mind?—_bumped him again and his eyes wandered down at her. _'Yes, learn! Learn _lots_, Naruto, she'll be a great teacher!'_ There was Jiraiya's lewd giggle again. He bit the inside of his cheek and scratched his other palm with sharp nails to sharpen his wits.

The two continued their stroll through Wakaga, Maaya laughing sincerely at all the right places as Naruto told stories about Team 7, though to avoid heartache he kept them pretty light. "Heh, you shoulda seen Kaka-sensei's face when he got the ransom note for his porn!" Naruto grinned, and used his hands to cover most of his face. His exposed eye was so droopily devastated that Maaya couldn't help but laugh. "And the best part is, so many women want to destroy that stuff, he _still_ doesn't know it was me!"

He didn't mention that Kakashi was _still_, weeks later, investigating the matter. Quite thoroughly using nin-dogs, which was unsettling. He just _knew_ Pakkun had been eyeballing him funny. He gulped, suddenly nervous, and changed the subject, trying not to appear _too_ distracted and dim-witted as he listened, talked, and examined the hidden seals they were passing.

For although Maaya's feminine brain-sapping powers were formidable, Naruto's preoccupation was not entirely her doing. He was getting another lesson in the practical application of fuinjutsu as they rambled about. It had to be done on the sly, though, sly even amongst ninja. He was good at that.

Maaya didn't show him any more of the hidden seals, but he saw them anyway. Whenever he got the opportunity, he traced an index finger onto his temple. A miniscule flow of chakra 'inked' a seal, and with a jolt not unlike shadow clone learning, his eyes were sharper. The symbol he made was sibling to the concealment seal, a component of nearly every array in Wakaga. All the hidden seals in line of sight were visible, and the town was lit strangely by the blue-black glow of fuinjutsu.

He missed a lot, though, between flustering feminine fidgeting, and because inkless seals have very short lives. _'Maybe I'll get time to look around and take notes later on.' _His prospects were dim on that notion. He _could_ simply stay up late to do so, but he had a mission to perform and however easy he expected it to be, people were counting on him. He wouldn't let himself be tired in the morning just to satisfy academic curiosity.

'_Heh, who'd have thought that'd be an issue for me? Staying up too late studyin', ha!'_

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The last portion of their tour took them underground. _'Aw man, this'll suck.'_ Naruto was prepared to be thoroughly bored. Copper was hardly exciting, after all. _'Maybe if they were mining something cool like steel or diamonds,'_ he thought, comfortable not knowing steel wasn't mined. Much to his surprise, though, Maaya did _not_ guide him to a boring old copper mine. Instead they visited sizeable fields of grain and large pastures, dimly lit and beneath the earth.

"What the hell? How is this…" he trailed off. They had been through several underground levels, food crops in varying levels of maturity. Naruto was no farmer, but they looked...strange, somehow. He thought that maybe they were still just young, but some of the plants _looked_ full grown in appearance if not size. He had _no_ idea how the livestock coped, either.

"This is our _biggest_ debt to Yondaime-sama, Naruto-kun!" Maaya exclaimed with a grand gesture. She was impressed even though she was familiar with the area. "It's all thanks to the advances he made in fuinjutsu. He was a genius, you know. And even though he died before he could finish much of his work, he kept his research safe and it was passed down to other sealcrafters," she explained. Naruto grimaced when his death was mentioned, but it went unnoticed.

'_Holy shit, she's gotta be kidding,'_ Naruto thought in amazement when he got a real look at the seals. He'd never heard or even imagined seals useful for _farming_. There they were, glowing arrays on the floor and ceiling. He saw components to link bottom and top, and further that the ceiling seals were linked to other seals far above them. But beyond that he recognized nothing. He glanced around, trying to make some sense of what he was seeing without success.

While he had been looking around in vain for a clue, Maaya went on explaining things, and this time Naruto cursed himself for not paying better attention. "…the ground supply soil nutrients to the crops and pastures, so things will grow. For the crops they also, don't ask me how, actually _shrink_ the plants as long as they're connected. But when we harvest, within an hour or two, they grow to normal size! Isn't that incredible? We can farm a much smaller area, and still get the same yield we would from a normal field!" Maaya grinned.

Naruto was dumbstruck, and barely managed a nod. The entire process was unheard of in his limited experience: shinobi arts devoted entirely to civilian needs. It was one thing to use them to _protect_ them. Naruto had spent a good portion of his career doing just that after all. But this was new.

'_They must've loved him so much for it,'_ he thought wistfully, and he was right. Maaya explained how, among the farmers and ranchers, Yondaime was loved almost as much for his seal research and willingness to use his work for civilians as for winning wars and killing (supposedly) demons.

"And when he was Hokage," Maaya was still talking, she was a bit of a Yondaime fan girl, "Yondaime used his office to make sure that everyone put out of a job by his seals were compensated, and offered other jobs or training in Konoha itself, or funds to move and start farms elsewhere. It did a lot of good. Word spread, and now Fire Country attracts the best and brightest in agriculture!" Maaya was as satisfied as if she had done it herself.

"That's…wow, that's great, Maaya-san." He vowed then and there to _thoroughly_ grill Ero-sennin and get the scoop on this branch of fuinjutsu. _'And if he doesn't, I'll give my _full_ report to Granny, he can count on it!'_ he swore. Resistance to his pestering was likely, since the Toad Sage had little interest in helping hicks grow stuff, and even less in talking about Yondaime with Naruto.

But he wouldn't be stopped, because Yondaime's story as told by Maaya had given him some big ideas. Ideas he hoped would make people see him, in a _good_ way, whenever they ate their meals.

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Things wrapped up quickly after that. _'All in all, I gave Granny too much trouble,'_ Naruto thought back with a smirk to his initial outrage at this assignment. But as it turned out, he'd made some new friends, impressed a pretty girl (_somehow_, and he needed to figure out how so he could do it again), killed and captured some Sound scum, and learned about an entire new branch of fuinjutsu. He didn't have time to make a thorough study, though. It had simply gotten too late, thanks to the last and best stop on their tour.

"Thanks for letting me show you around, Naruto-kun," Maaya said quietly at the door to the barracks. It was a quarter-moon night. Only a little light made it through the dense forest canopy. Scent and sound were amplified now in the near darkness.

The nose knows, so they say, and his knew it caught a whiff of sandalwood and honey, and some other aromas (strange but not unpleasant) that almost but not quite made him sneeze. It was difficult to concentrate, and the light made her look mysterious and alluring. The look in her eyes almost provocative, he couldn't help thinking. Understandable, since it was.

"Err…you're welcome, Maaya-san," he replied awkwardly. The scent of whatever she was wearing seemed to flood his mind. "I learned a lot, and…umm," he shifted nervously, "had a really good time, too." _'There, that doesn't sound _too _stupid, does it?'_ he wondered helplessly. Never the best at thinking fast about social difficulties, he couldn't really be sure. And she was just standing so _close_.

"I had a great time too. Here, let me make sure things end on a high note," she said with a lascivious grin. At that she stood closer, tucked herself tight up against him, and kissed him straight on the lips. Throughout history there have been only a few truly great kisses. This wasn't one of them, but it was quite acceptable to the participants, thank you very much.

'_Holy shit! Whoa, did she just…'_ he thought in amazement when soft warm lips pressed against his, but thoughts didn't last long. It was not his first kiss (no, the only other one wasn't Sasuke), but it was his first kiss like _this_. There was nothing in his mind but warmth ascending into heat, the thump of his pulse in his ears, the insistent ripple of her _own_ pulse, felt through her skin. The way one of her hands combed through his thick, shaggy hair and her tongue licked his lips.

Suddenly from deep within, a thick, powerful rumbling as though an enormous beast was breathing could be felt more than heard. Somehow the sound reeked of mockery. His ardor was affected as though someone had thrown buckets of water on a roaring fire. Not extinguished, but his mind was back. _'Goddamn scheming sunnuvabitch,'_ he sent the thought back down towards where the rumble had come from, along with a clear, defiant sense of his own control.

For the rest of the kiss (now a make-out session), he kept control by focusing entirely on her. Little almost subliminal cues guided him; a whiff of scent, carrying what might be the beginnings of fatigue so he walked them awkwardly to the wall where they could lean; the thunder of her pulse pounding against him diminishing, and he ran his hand through her coat (_'HAIR, you sneaky bastard!'_ and the Fox finally quieted down to save its energy) to gently massage her scalp and savor the feel of femininity between his fingers. Her heart-rate jumped.

It was the only thing Jiraiya had ever let his female friends (working girls) teach him in his fear of Tsunade. "The best kissers, Naruto-kun," one of them had said (and they all agreed), "are the ones who can let a girl know that he's thinking only of them. You'll botch it the first time," she had giggled (and again, every woman he spoke with agreed on this point too), "but don't be embarrassed. No one's a great kisser their first time. But eventually you'll learn to do what all five senses tell you she wants, and you'll do great!"

And he did, even though it was his first _serious_ kiss. His senses were ninja-trained, after all, and carried more than a little demonic boost; he noticed things others might have missed. A guard tromped above on the parapet, sufficiently noisy to be a warning. The two broke apart and Maaya stared up at Naruto in shock.

"I…umm…well!" she said shakily. For the first time, she was on equal footing. Not even he could miss her surprise, and it was both flattering and annoying. _'Why is everyone always so surprised when I'm good at stuff?'_ But Maaya had justification, for she would never have expected someone so naïve to be such (great) kisser!

Naruto saved himself from further awkward entanglements by pointing out that he had to go pay a visit to Fujita-san. In doing so he narrowly avoided an invitation of a more intimate nature he was ill-prepared to deal with. It was good for Jiraiya's sake that Tsunade wasn't in Wakaga, else the Toad Sage would've gotten the thrashing of a lifetime for failing to 'round out' Naruto's training.

For although she wasn't an enemy, Maaya's gaze at Naruto's departing back as he smiled at her over his shoulder was very calculating, and quite pleased with his obvious reluctance (despite some relief) to leave. Had she been a foe or a spy he would've been in great danger. But he hadn't been trained to deal with kunoichi, so he didn't think about that risk, and the only thing on his mind when he tapped on Fujita's door was the gentle intoxicating press of Maaya's lips against his.

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Author's Notes:

Words: 5,837

Uploaded: 1/20/2008

Hits: 1305 (148 for the latest installment)

C2s: 5

Favs: 11

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OK! Whew, this took me quite a lot longer than expected. My very first romantic interaction, and the inclusion of idea that's been rattling around in my brain for ages now: fuinjutsu to grow crops and livestock. The way I figured it, seals are almost like magic in the shinobi world. They do all sorts of weird things. You can use them to summon supernatural beings, even death spirits. They can bind up and trap invincible demons. You can use them to catch supernatural fire. They can help you summon parts of summon animals. They can teleport you, explode, or store inanimate objects.

So I figured, why _can't_ they be used to transfer sunlight from the sky to the underground? Why can't they act as super-effective fertilizer? Why can't they let just four chuunin guard a vitally important supply point for Konoha? Seals were what made Yondaime so spectacular, according to canon, so it figures to me he would take things a step further, right?

Now my natural inclination when I get on tracks like that is to get _way_ too wordy. I just start rambling my thoughts, and it's tricky for me to edit it back down to something reasonable since, to me, my thoughts make sense, after all, and doesn't seem too long and boring (since I was interested in it in the first place!) That's why I am begging anyone and everyone for reviews. Even if they're the one-liners, they'll help draw more people to this story and let me know if I did a good job or not. But if you're a person like me and like giving reviews that make detailed complaints or praises, _please_, help me out here. I can tell I need it.

It's also the first romantic scene of mine. Now, I'm trying to draw a deliberate character with Maaya. The way I see it, the younger a shinobi is the less likely they are to continue hating Naruto while he keeps doing heroic things. Sandaime's Law is still in effect after all, and vague warnings and hostility from parents would not hold much weight in the face of things like training with Jiraiya, beating Gaara and Neji, and infamous S-classed missing nin, as well as retrieving the Fifth Hokage. Not to mention he is friend and comrade with the other best and brightest young ninja of his generation.

So we've got Sakaki Maaya, a confident, attractive young woman who's been an adult for a few years now. _Naturally_ Naruto is going to be something of a 'catch' among women (and some men). He's a minor hero (in my story) to the younger generations. This will never, ever, _ever_ be a harem story (while they can be fun, they're not very 'truthful' in my mind), or OMG NARUTOTEHSMEXY! story either. But people do go after and try to 'hook' athletes and famous people.

Maaya is not some super seductive conniving bitch, either. It's as I said in the story: she's had kunoichi training. Now in my mind, that sort of training is almost like Bene Gesserit training in the Dune stories: just a few gestures, a few choice words can control and dominate. Not as powerful, but something along the same lines, you get it? So Naruto-who _hasn't_ been trained for such things, and yes, it could very well get him into major trouble later-is definitely the weaker party in the relationship with Maaya. Well, except until the end, that is

But don't worry, people who were bored this chapter (but please, I desperately want to hear from you-lemme know if you were bored!), we won't be spending much more time in Wakaga. In the next chapter we'll be leaving, and returning to Konoha. I've got a bunch of hooks set, too, so I can go any number of routes as to what will happen next. Will Naruto's next step be to pursue Sasuke? Will there be open war between Konoha and Sound, Cloud, or Rock (or all three)? Will

Akatsuki (who in my mind are reeling from losing 30 of their membership to a bunch of meddling kids) rear it's ugly, stink-breathed head? Who knows? I haven't decided yet. My next order of business is just to get em back to Konoha.

Reviews are much sought after, the more negative the better! Thanks for reading, guys


	7. So you want him to learn fuinjutsu?

_**Fuinjutsu for Idiots, the Uzumaki Edition**_

"Now listen closely, you snot-nosed ankle biter," Jiraiya demanded in a grouchy tone. His trial of a student, Uzumaki Naruto, had yet again extorted further training by the credible threat of ratting his master out to Tsunade. _'Even if it woulda meant failure, I never shoulda brought this ass to find Tsunade-hime!'_ he thought in a fit of pique.

The pair had finished their travels for the day. Night had fallen, and their inn was conveniently adjacent to the town's red-light district. Convenient until Naruto spoiled his fun, that is. Hitching the barrel-sized scroll case from his back, he set it on the ground and began to unroll it. The most recent signatures were known to Naruto, naturally. But it went further back than he would've guessed. There were yards and yards of signatures, hundreds of year's worth of names and honored members of the Toad clan.

It finally ended in the complete summoning contract for the toads, though Naruto didn't recognize it. He'd simply followed Jiraiya's instructions, signing up in fingerprint and blood (and hadn't the Toad Sage beaten _that_ foolishness out of him early, signing a document he hadn't read, much less a seal!). The writing was old, intricate, dense, and almost completely incomprehensible to Naruto's eyes. "Huh? What're we doin', Ero-sennin? I already signed this," he pointed to the end. His expression was bored and irritated.

The Sannin sighed and rolled his eyes, bopping the pre-teen on the noggin. He directed his student's attention to the summoning contract itself. "Well yes, _obviously_, Naruto. I was there when you signed it. Meathead," he muttered. _'For this the ladies will miss out on my company!'_

"Now don't talk until I tell you, and for Kami's sake and mine pay attention. You're going to attain the abstruse art of fuinjutsu!" Jiraiya exclaimed grandly. Naruto's expression perked up at the end but was still quite confused. _'Right, forgot who I was dealing with. Alliteration is wasted on the illiterate!'_

"I'm going to teach you about seals, Naruto. You'll learn how to understand, create, repair, trigger, and dismantle seals. When I'm through you'll even know how to design new ones!" the Toad Sage proclaimed proudly. His student looked intrigued, but it didn't last. Jiraiya had a suspicion Naruto's reactions to his teachings were designed to piss him off.

He hadn't gotten to be a mighty Sannin by being stupid, after all.

"It'll take more writing and study than any shinobi art you've had to learn up to this point, though. That's why I've had you studying those textbooks so much, to get into the habit. And so you could read something besides a ramen cup," he pointed out, smug in the face of Naruto's irritated reaction. It had been great fun browbeating Naruto into it without letting the punk know it would be useful to training.

Perhaps because he knew he'd been outwitted, Naruto wasn't impressed with fuinjutsu if he had to learn a lot of boring writing before he could even _start_. "Eh, sounds boring, Pervy-Sage. C'mon, just teach me more ninjutsu and taijutsu, it'll be more fun for both of us!" he suggested pragmatically. He nodded, pleased with himself. A much better idea than a bunch of boring writing.

"Be quiet, you little twerp! I swear before we're done you'll know better than to spout off from ignorance," he warned. His expression, annoyed and bordering on angry, made Naruto sit up a bit straighter and wisely clam up.

'_Ahh, well it's not like it's his fault,'_ Jiraiya told himself with regret. _'Punk doesn't know anything about his family and whose fault is _that_, you old fool?'_ he asked himself bitterly. But that was an old, old regret of his, and he had a lot of experience in setting it aside. He'd had that unhappy argument with himself many times already.

"One of your heroes is the Yondaime Hokage, right Naruto?" The young soldier nodded earnestly. Jiraiya gulped down his regrets again and went on. "Fuinjutsu is what let Minato-sama create one of his two most brilliant techniques," he said and drew a strange weapon from his pack, a kunai design new to Naruto. It had three double-edged blades, and the hilt was different too.

"With one of these, some ink and paper, and his knowledge, Minato-sama all but single-handedly won one of Konoha's bloodiest wars and made him the frontrunner for Hokage and beat Orochimaru," Jiraiya's voice went flat at that name. A flick of the wrist sent the unusual weapon at Naruto's head, who caught it and examined it thoughtfully. His irritation was gone, but that was not enough for Jiraiya.

"Fuinjutsu lets a tiny minority of the Hyuuga clan to hold the overwhelming majority of their family in bondage to ancient clan law. I do believe you have some goals in that area, don't you?" he asked as though it were a trivial issue. "Fuinjutsu is the only way that clan will ever be changed by anyone, Hokage or not."

He paused thoughtfully after that and then shrugged like the issue was trivial. "Well, I suppose whoever becomes Hokage _could_ 'win' simply by forbidding any more Hyuuga from being branded, and waiting for the practice to die out."

_'Uh-uh, no fucking way goddamnit!'_ Naruto thought with a scowl, shaking his head fiercely. Compromise, do the sensible thing? Stop the Caged Bird Seal by just letting it die out, leaving all those Hyuuga in chains? Unthinkable. _'When hell freezes over,'_ he vowed. He knew he was being manipulated-he wasn't _that_ dense-but it made no difference.

That's because Naruto was bound by _all_ his promises, so although his promise to save Sasuke (even from himself) was the most urgent he had never forgotten his oath to Hyuuga Neji, to change the Hyuuga clan if Neji would not. He had grown up a bit since then; he knew Neji _couldn't_ change the Hyuuga on his own.

Naruto's face shifted into total defiance, an expression that damned anyone and anything that told him his wish was impossible. Jiraiya had seen it before on fanatics and zealots; here was an example of total commitment at once more serious and more decent than any other he had seen in his many years. _'So what if I'm awful at book-learning? Who gives a shit?! I'll learn fuinjutsu faster than Ero-sennin or Yondaime-sama _ever_ did, and that's a promise!' _

Suddenly he smiled. The last time he'd made a vow like _that_, the future Hokage had told him he'd never do it in a million years, that it was stupid for him to even _dream_ of success. The outcome adorned his neck that very moment. _'Alright, Ero-sennin, you've got your way. But I'll work your ass off till I've wrung every scrap of fuinjutsu out of that hairy warty head of yours!'_

He told his master as much, as dedicated as he'd been when he decided with a calm heart and mind that he'd sooner live a fool and die young than do the smart thing, let his friend go. _'Alright! Now we're talkin', kid! You may be pretty stupid sometimes, but goddamn if your heart ain't in the right place!'_ Jiraiya nodded, fiercely proud. He told himself he was feeling the paternal pride his other sealcraft student would have felt, if he could.

"Well good, you're listening now. I'm sure you'll learn it, but faster than _me?_ Ha! Set your sights a little lower, punk. You can't even read a D-ranked seal yet! Now, repeat after me!" he commanded, and began the first of many lessons in the art of crafting seals.

Author's Notes:

As you can see, this is just another interlude. I love writing for Naruto and Jiraiya, and so I thought I'd have a little story about the pair of them and how on Earth Naruto would've gotten involved with seal work. I imagine that since it's about _writing_, it would necessarily be a bookish, almost scientific study. Not Naruto's forte. So how does Jiraiya make him learn?

In my mind, Konoha is the best at crafting seals. In canon I could be completely wrong, of course, but we never see anyone else using them, maybe excepting explosive notes and the strange puppet seals Sasori uses. But look at how much better Konoha's seals are, generally. Yondaime uses them to _teleport_ of all things. Not to mention, Konoha's seals bind Kyuubi for years without any danger (although perhaps the seal is weakening now), while a rival village, Sand, can only just barely keep Shukaku locked up, a much weaker bijuu, and it leaks madness and bloodlust to its host constantly.

This story was initially a portion of the preceding chapter, but I decided to make it an interlude, since the last chapter was just getting too long. My plan is, later on when I have more readers (to draw more reviews, to draw more helpful criticism!) to split up these interludes into their own one-shot stories, which will really clean up _Food for Thought_, I think. But for now, they stay together.

Please let me know what you think, folks!


	8. Chapter 5: Home is where the ramen is!

Pre-story Author's Notes: Howdy! Sorry it's been so long, guys. At first I was starting to think I had run out of steam for this story, but as you can see I've picked things up again. This chapter is pretty light on plot-crucial content. It's mostly transitional, and I'm trying to improve my dialogue and humor, focusing not as intensely on the 'technical' aspects of the story.

I plead most shamefully for reviews! Particularly NEGATIVE reviews, as those are the most helpful. You folks, especially the ones favoriting or alerting, drop me a line! I love to nerd out about stories, and this one will improve only slowly and slightly without the help of critical eyes

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"_**Alright all of you, QUIET DOWN!"**_

In response to the loud, _very_ irritated watery bellow the rest of the Toad Clan wisely shut up. There was some muttering and grumping, though, and shushing coming from up in the rafters where the younger toads were clinging to attend this very important meeting. It was the first one of its kind in over twenty years, and the most unusual gathering in the clan's memory.

From his position in the place of respect in the hall, Gamabunta-sama took a long, satisfied puff on his enormous pipe. _'Annoying little tadpoles!'_ "Now then, back to the matter at hand. For those of you who are late," and he here glanced up to the rafters, promising future punishment, "Jiraiya-kun has spoken with me about sharing our clan's summoning contract with a jinchuuriki, the vessel of Kyuubi no Kitsune…"

He had to pause, _again_, as worried, dissatisfied mumblings went through the throng of toads. _'I swear any second now these punks are gonna get a reminder as to why I'm boss!'_ Gamabunta, not one to conceal his displeasure, let it show. This time the crowd shushed itself.

"Before you all run for the swamps in panic, remember: I will still test this tadpole. Jiraiya hasn't told me when he'll be summoning me for this, but I'll scare that out of him soon enough," he smiled with anticipation. "And though my word is law, I trust you all know how I worry for my clan, and so I put the issue to you now: if he passes the test, should I let this boy become the next signatory to our contract?"

And with that the issue was thrown open to debate, which was sure to take all night. In a clan where members varied so greatly in size, power, and strength of voice, such discussions were chaotic at best. But Gamabunta did not get to be boss of such a clan as rowdy and non-conformist as the toads by merit of his size alone; he had the entire event choreographed in his mind. The canny, scarred old chieftain would keep tidbits of favorable information to himself, ready to release if the argument looked to go against him.

Knowing the jinchuuriki's parentage, Gamabunta had no doubt the boy would pass his test. Nor was he opposed to welcoming another human to their family. Having been there when the Kyuubi was bound – how he had laughed to see the mighty demon that laid his face open to the bone made weak and vulnerable by the Yondaime! – the toad also knew very well that the danger of Kyuubi freeing itself was minimal, unless its jailor's will should falter.

And what better way to strengthen the tadpole's will than by welcoming the boy to the family, where he could be guided, protected, and (should things go wrong) watched in case of danger? Gamabunta had thought on it long and hard, and could think of no other more practical or moral conclusion. After the meeting reached a successful conclusion, he would make arrangements with Jiraiya to eventually meet up with this 'Naruto', and test him appropriately.

He didn't quite count on that perverted little half-wit otherwise known as Jiraiya taking his 'unorthodox' teaching approach three steps too far with his possessed pupil, who summoned him much sooner than expected into the material world just as he was settling down for some 'exercise' with one of his consorts…

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"And then she kissed me!"

"Oh right, bro, I call bullshit! Kiss _you?" _Gamakichi squawked in outrage. He was in even worse shape than his brother when it came to women. His appearance was of a summon-toad many years older than his true age, but his mind was still quite childish, much like the mind of his favorite summoner. His female peers were thus very put off when they dealt with a child, expecting a young adult toad. Gamakichi's game, as they say, was whack.

"Fujita-san! Me'n'Maaya-chan, eh? Eh?" Naruto called out to the teamster boss, waggling his eyebrows triumphantly.

"Ha! That's right kid, way to go! Our Maaya-chan, she's usually pretty picky, too. Guess she lowered her standards for a change, eh?" he smirked, and Naruto shrugged without caring. He was in a position to be forgiving. Out of the blue, he was _desirable_. Apparently, anyway. And besides, Fujita was just talking trash, and Naruto knew it.

"Well fine, good for you, Naruto-kun," the young toad grumbled, sounding anything but happy. He had yet to shake his 'little kid' image, with poor prospects of doing so in the future.

"Hey, don't be like that, Gamakichi. C'mon, they'll figure out what they're missin' real soon and then you'll be beatin' em off with a stick, I tell ya! After all, you're the best nin-toad since your Pop, right?" Naruto smacked his friend on the back, earning a grateful amphibian smile.

The way Naruto figured things, the answer to almost any problem was more training and more confidence. Gamakichi was already training like it was going out of style; the toad just needed more confidence, which Naruto had to spare after his brief stay in Wakaga.

"Now, the first thing to do is…" he began, giving a lecture on flirting which, even if he were suited to teach such a subject, would scarcely apply to a toad. Unfortunately for him, Gamakichi had yet to realize that taking Naruto's advice concerning 'the ladies' was at least half of his problem.

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For the second time in as many days Naruto was hiking through the KSZ and guarding a supply convoy for Konoha. His escort strategy was the same as yesterday; he had no reason to alter it. The Naruto speaking to Gamakichi and Fujita was not the original. The original was learning what a strange experience it was to be a sack of uncooked rice.

After visiting briefly with Fujita the night before and getting his copy of _Icha-icha _(even though the teamster knew he would see the young chuunin again the next day, he was simply too eager to set into motion the events that would get him the lusted after Autographed Edition), Naruto had been introduced to Fujita's grandfather, Shonigawa-sama. He was an amiably sharp old man living out a semi-retirement in Wakaga watching over some of the family's holdings. Naruto took to him at once, probably out of fond memories of the Third, and the two made good first impressions on one another.

He woke earlier than necessary next morning, and after morning exercises managed to squeeze in a quarter hour of scurrying around Wakaga studying seals and taking notes. He was able to use shadow clones to hasten the process since they would all be gaining knew knowledge in a field he was already experienced in, and Naruto was satisfied he had a lot of good questions to ask the Pervy Sage when he saw him next.

While the teamsters were getting the livestock secured to the convoy to meet their ultimate destinies, Naruto made a brief patrol of the forest surrounding Wakaga with one of Maaya's squad-mates who had just come off duty from the night's watch. They found nothing of note, and again Naruto's approach to shinobi life ('Throw Narutos at the problem!') paid off, and the caravan was able to leave early.

The forest was colder, darker place when traveled through at ground level so short after dawn; much wetter than he would have expected, too. When the sun climbed high in the sky, the KSZ was actually a pretty cheerful, friendly looking place (appearances being deceiving, after all). When the sun was just peeking over the horizon, though, there was heavy fog, glistening dew, and cold, still air. The kind of terrain normally very tense for guards was nearly ideal for ambush.

But one of the virtues of shadow clones is that they _can't_ be picked off quietly. Any direct attack and Naruto would know as soon as the clone was destroyed, and if anyone tried anything funny such as genjutsu, the clones knew to dispel themselves at once if they felt strange. So Naruto was much more secure than another ninja might be in this situation. Once he judged his friend's breakfast would be over, he whipped up a jutsu and called Gamakichi. Naruto was a considerate summoner. He had learned _that_ from Gamabunta-sama.

Except for the chatter between the two friends, there was little conversation among the teamsters who were setting a fast pace to capitalize on another early start. Ideally they would reach Konoha early and steal a march on their competitors, fetching the best prices for tomorrow's markets. They were friendly to Naruto, though. They'd enjoyed more time with family and friends in Wakaga and owed their chance at a fat bonus to their escort, who got things done quickly and without any of the usual shinobi aloofness to boot.

Once Naruto was done inadvertently ruining Gamakichi's chances with more toad females, the two friends began disguise/recognition training for the rest of their trip. One of the clones transformed into an object while Gamakichi would try to find it. The toad eventually found the original Naruto, but kept his mouth shut. A prudent shinobi never knew when an enemy might be observing.

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Only one thing broke up an otherwise boring escort run. That was a visit from some friendly Konoha ANBU, who operated by a standard where 'friendly' was a _very_ subjective word. After all, ANBU involvement invariably meant that something bad had, was currently, or would soon be, happening. They didn't hold much with small-talk, either.

"Uzumaki-san," a voice boomed in a hollow way behind a shadow clone in the van of the supply train. The clone squawked in shocked outrage. Naruto was good, but not yet good enough to reliably notice keyed-up ANBU when they were trying to remain hidden. Not without 'foxing out' (as he put it), that is. The clone turned to look down on an ANBU whose presence was impressive despite its stature; he had no way of knowing the shinobi's gender.

"Ugh, geeze, I almost dispelled! Man, is it in ANBU's charter to startle people?" he complained, stopping his movement. The sounds of the caravan grew closer behind them. "Anyway. Good morning. I guess this is about those Oto-nin from yesterday?"

"Correct. Good morning to you as well. Godaime Hokage-sama sends her regards." Naruto squirmed a bit at that. Even though he felt his decision to attack the invaders had been tactically necessary, Granny would probably smack him a good one for going it alone, even though it worked. "Your debriefing, please?" the ANBU inquired with blank courtesy.

"Right, sure. Well I wasn't very far from here. Five-hundred meters, I'd say…" and he gave an abbreviated tactical debriefing. It didn't take long; the ANBU didn't mince words, and there wasn't a whole lot to report anyway. Yes, they appeared to be long-term infiltrators, creeping up slowly rather than blitzing in quickly; no, he could not say for certain which direction they'd come from; yes, it appeared to be at least one Oto jounin and accompanying chuunin. Their conversation took les than five minutes.

"Thank you for your report, Uzumaki-san. You are ordered to report to Hokage-sama immediately after your escort is complete." The short ANBU turned to leave, drawing surprised stares from the civilians in the front of the convoy that was now close by. Civilians outside the city of Konoha rarely if ever saw ANBU with their own eyes. The cloaked figure looked back over a shoulder at Naruto, spoke again.

"I wouldn't worry about Hokage-sama's reaction, Naruto-san. From your report your decision to start the ambush alone against six Oto-nin was sound; I'm sure she won't be too upset." The ANBU was good. The sarcasm was there only if he looked for it underneath the reasonableness, along with a _pun_ no less!

'_Ugh, maybe he's one from the old days,'_ Naruto groaned to himself. As a boy he had made an exceptionally persistent, difficult-to-catch nuisance to many ANBU. His flashes of brilliance in the face of overwhelming odds came from practice, after all; pranking with ANBU around was not an easy thing. Once, before he had grown thoroughly sick of his pupil's mischievous ways, Jiraiya had confided in Naruto that the Sandaime and several of his ANBU had found his childish antics quite amusing.

"_Wonderful_ news, thanks," he said to the ANBU with a snide wince. Well, even though he probably had a hell of a finger-flick coming, at least some people were on his side. Perhaps he would get lucky, and Tsunade would encounter Jiraiya who would (naturally) bear the brunt of her displeasure. The two toad-summoners often used each other as punching bags and whipping boys for their Hokage.

With that the ANBU's head twitched in a nod, and s/he darted away into the canopy to continue their mission which was probably to backtrack the Oto-nin. Some of the traps might need resetting, and the ANBU could gain valuable insight into Oto-nin by following their trail. The shadow clone's fingers moved into a hand sign, and with a sharp pop and puff of smoke it disappeared. A sack of rice on one of the wagons suddenly had hours to think about how much of a headache it would have later that day.

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"Well Naruto-kun, thanks to you we'll be livin' like daimyos! Shonigawa-sama will be _very_ pleased." Fujita's praise for his new young friend was effusive. They'd returned to Wakaga hours before any of the other settlement shipments had arrived, and already Fujita's busy little bees were rousting their business agents away from other work to pay attention to their caravan and its goods. As everyone had hoped, fat bonuses would be earned.

"Eh, don't worry about it, Fujita-san. Just doing my job. And don't worry, I'll take care of that other favor you wanted," he patted his pack anxiously. He was worried the foreman would start pressing him about his connection with Jiraiya, and then have _all_ the teamsters clamoring for autographs. Either Fujita caught the hint, or was simply reassured, because he simply nodded with a smile.

"I'll put in a good word for you with Shonigawa-sama. We never had a guard we liked so much! But don't let it go to your head like a Hyuuga or somethin', alright?" Naruto shushed him anxiously even though he was smiling; when it came to hearing insults, Hyuuga ears were nearly as good as their eyes. Fujita grinned and shrugged guilelessly, but didn't go on to tell the joke Naruto just knew he wanted to tell.

"Thanks a bunch, Fujita-san. Say 'hi' to your gramps for me," he smiled at Fujita's sour expression. Naruto was never one for giving elders their proper respect when he could avoid it. Something about him usually let him get away with it, too. "Hey, I'd stick around for awhile, but I've gotta get my daily concussion from Granny Tsunade," he smiled weakly. Unfortunately that was probably not a joke.

"Say 'bye' to everyone for me, eh? And don't let em know bout the books until after you get back to Wakaga, OK? I'm serious, or the deal's off!" he warned sternly. Fujita had tried the old puppy-dog eyes trick on Naruto when he'd handed over his book, and had pouted over their arrangement periodically throughout the day. Fortunately puppy-dog eyes from a middle-aged grizzled teamster was ineffective, to say the least.

Fujita promised to keep his mouth shut, and the two men shook hands amiably. Off Naruto went to get his cranium cracked, hopping up easily to a rooftop and considering the time carefully. _'Can't do anything good, unfortunately,'_ he mourned as he considered a good caper. Sakura-chan and Granny Tsunade had both been unamused at his antics lately ever since the disaster at the library. He'd been laying low hoping the heat would cool off ever since.

Years ago Naruto had learned to (consciously, at least) ignore the not-quite-subtle staring and murmuring that often followed him around Konoha. Had he not learned that instinct, he might've noticed more than a few surprised expressions and hushed conversations that sprang up at the friendliness between Naruto and Fujita, the latter being an important local business figure.

One of the hottest topics of Konoha gossip suddenly acquired a new subject, _not_ in the realm of pranking, surprisingly. More than a few of the merchants reconsidered warning their friend Shonigawa Fujita off of the blonde jinchuuriki, and though Naruto didn't know it, his stock among Konoha's civilian community was bumped up a few points. All from a trivial, friendly conversation with a teamster.

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"Ahh, good afternoon, Naruto-san," came a voice out of nowhere as Naruto hastened through the Hokage tower to Tsunade's offices. It was one of Tsunade's unlucky lackeys, Kamizuki Izumo. Naruto had heard from Sakura that Izumo along with his best friend Kotetsu were some of the only chuunin who could handle working directly with Konoha's volatile leader. But if Izumo intended to surprise Naruto with his conversational ambush, it didn't work; Naruto knew the halls of the Hokages very well for a chuunin.

"Granny Tsunade snatched you two from gate duty, huh? I'm surprised it took so long," he smirked, bumping the wall with his elbow as he walked. The elder chuunin appeared with a chuckle. "Have to do better than that, Izumo-senpai," he grinned.

"You and your damn nose. Her sake again?" Izumo groused. Tsunade's vices left telltale signs, one of which was the distinct aroma of sake. It was difficult to fool a nose as good as Naruto, who nodded in response. Their Hokage drank like a fish (an especially thirsty, alcoholic fish), and was known to spill sake on her attendants during her not uncommon rages. She never drank to excess on the job, it was just that 'excess' for a brilliant and powerful medic-nin neared excess for a bar full of sailors.

"Well you're in luck kid," Izumo offered, vowing to dodge faster next time he had to wake the Hokage. "You're early, and Shizune's been keeping her on a pretty loose leash today. You might get off light this time, but she was practically chewing rocks and shitting nails when she got your report from KSZ ANBU. Was it accurate, by the way? Two dead, four captured including their commander by yourself?"

Naruto winced, not liking the disapproving expression in Izumo's eyes. Naruto had a slight reputation as a glory-hound, owing more to theatricality than real recklessness. It was considered a serious flaw, even though the reputation was (mostly) unwarranted. "Yeah, those are the facts. But really it's not like that, I swear. Look, I don't wanna tell the story twice. You'll hear it through the door I'll bet. If you get sent off I'll tell you later, alright? It's not what you think." Naruto craved the good regard of his peers.

"We'll see," Izumo sniffed. He really did like and respect his junior comrade, but the stories he'd heard made it hard not to think the younger chuunin had been extremely brash. The two arrived at one of Tsunade's offices. Izumo knocked politely and opened the door after a hearing a terse grunt from within. "Good luck, kid," he offered in a whisper, shutting the door behind Naruto after he went in.

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Tsunade did a good job of looking vaguely threatening over steepled fingers at her wayward subordinate. Though he could smell the sharp scent of sake on the air, there was no sign of it on the Hokage's desk. Rightly called socially dense by some, Naruto was not too stupid to see that this was _not_ the time to break into his usual 'Hey Granny, howya doin'?' routine. He stood at attention before his commander.

"Well what are you waiting for, Uzumaki-san? Report!" she ordered in a terse, frosty grunt. _'Aww shit, she's pissed,'_ he thought with dismay, hastily rearranging his verbal report in his mind to be even more professional and less casual than he'd planned.

"Yes ma'am," he nodded seriously and then began. Unlike his brief debriefing of the ANBU earlier that day, his report to Tsunade was comprehensive. He thoroughly yet concisely outlined his defensive measures, reported on how he became aware of the infiltrators. From there the report took longer, since he was able (and Tsunade demanded) to give information from many different angles thanks to his shadow clones.

She grilled him mercilessly, especially about his state of mind. He could tell she expected to find some whiff of unprofessional foolishness or a desire for an against-all-odds fight, but the truth was he had behaved professionally and attacked alone only out of perceived necessity. She sighed and relaxed, even looking a little disappointed. That was especially confusing until she spoke.

"Well brat, I guess I don't get to put a dent in your forehead this afternoon after all," she smiled fondly. "When I heard the report, let me tell you I was angry. I thought you were up to your old tricks. But it sounds like the only mistake you made was not remembering that it was highly unlikely that the enemy would move in daylight. Those kind of infiltrations, they almost always move slow, quiet, and nocturnal. Except for that, your reasoning was sound. Lesson learned?" she asked seriously.

Naruto nodded, wincing in embarrassment. _'That's right, I didn't think of that,'_ he berated himself. Only rarely did infiltration teams move half at day and half at night. With that sort of operation, it was one or the other. "Yes, Hokage-sama," he said, taking the mild reprimand like a man.

"Damn! I had my flicking finger limbered up too. I thought for sure you'd say something stupid at the end," she said with a smirk. "C'mere, kid," she said, standing up beside her desk. Before he could think of stopping himself (not that he would have), Naruto's face broke out into a happy grin and they embraced. They had different reasons for craving human contact, but savored it with an equally desperate intensity nonetheless.

The hug broke by unspoken instinct. Neither was very good at dealing with certain kinds of feelings, and though they relished the outlet, if it lasted too long things just got weird. Shinobi are never really very good at dealing with touchy-feely stuff, though they can _fake_ dealing with it for espionage missions brilliantly. Probably because they need it and so rarely get it.

"Your bad call aside, great work with those bastards. Ibiki-kun'll have a field day, I'm sure. You know how much effort Orochimaru puts into making sure none of his peons are captured alive. Maybe I should get him up here to thank you personally?" She tapped her lips with a deceptively delicate manicured fingernail and cocked an equally deceptive delicate eyebrow at him. He glared back sourly.

"Geeze, and here I thought you were glad t'see me, Granny Tsunade. Keep pincushion head as far from me as possible!" he exclaimed nervously. Ibiki's reputation was so fearsome that people avoided him even if they had _good_ news. "But hey! Why didn't anyone tell me about the KSZ and those escort missions? They're great!"

"Huh? You _liked_ that assignment? Why? It was supposed to be a punishment, damnit!" She was irritated and confused, and the confusion just ratcheted up the irritation. A boring old civilian escort mission was not something she meant him to enjoy. In fact she was braced for a lot of bitching and moaning and demands for a better mission next time.

"Eh, it wasn't bad at all! I mean, Fujita-san and all his buddies are great, we really hit it off. And Wakaga was really cool! _Civilian_ fuinjutsu, damnit! I never imagined!" His arms had started flailing like they always did whenever he got excited. Naruto would never be a sedate storyteller. "And they had kickass ramen, and Ma-…the chuunin guards there were pretty cool too," he cut himself off hastily. He had come very close to breaking one of his most important rules: Never discuss the opposite sex in any way in front of Granny; violence is inevitable.

"'Ma-' who is pretty cool?" The Hokage hadn't attained her lofty position on good looks (although with Jiraiya, it certainly helped!); she seized on Naruto's misstep like a famished wolf. Tsunade was one of the few people with whom Naruto could reveal his expertise in sealcraft. She had been informed as his commander anyway, and had some specialized knowledge of fuinjutsu on her own. She was also, unfortunately for Naruto, quite nosy about his social life.

"Eh, just one of the chuunin stationed in Wakaga. She showed me around'n'stuff." _'Man, c'mon Granny, drop it!'_ he hoped desperately. Unfortunately his skill in ninjutsu was not matched by any conversational cleverness. Tsunade knew her instincts had paid off when she heard 'she' and ''n'stuff', and she wasn't about to drop it.

"Well then, tell me all about it! I've got Shizune scrambling, so we should have some time," she said smugly. Her bossy aide was on a wild goose chase for some old documents Tsunade didn't actually need. The Hokage lounged back in her chair, eager to get some gossip on one of her few remaining (outside her duties as Hokage) precious people.

A quarter-hour later and Tsunade had to wrap things up. Shizune could be kept at bay only for so long. Soon she would either somehow find the 'missing' document, or concoct some reason for Tsunade not to need it in the first place. It had happened before, usually by Shizune scaring up even more work for her Hokage as a not-so-subtle revenge.

Still, it was a very informative fifteen minutes. Once she got him started Naruto was quite forthcoming. He hadn't _really_ wanted to keep quiet about it in the first place; as his semi-pseudo-surrogate grandmother (neither of them had ever quantified their relationship), though, he was naturally squeamish to spill the beans. _'Mental note: thrash the pervert for not giving Naruto anti-seduction training. Thrash him again on principle.'_ Jiraiya had to be kept on a tight leash, after all, especially since (for a change) Tsunade had a really good reason to be upset with him.

She also made a note to set Shizune to digging into 'Sakaki Maaya's' service records, and to have Ibiki's minions start up an intelligence dossier on her at once. Naruto had the unenviable status of having many more enemies than he knew about: Akatsuki, anyone else who had dealings with bijuu, general enemies of Konoha (Naruto was, after all, steadily growing a dangerous reputation), enemies of the Namikaze (not that there were any, besides Naruto), enemies of the Uzumaki (see Namikaze), and maybe business rivals of Ichiraku Ramen.

If she was unfit to pursue Tsunade's grandson but otherwise not a threat, then she would probably find herself scrubbing toilets in the hinterland of Fire Country until such time as someone Tsunade _did_ approve of snapped her grandson up. If Maaya was a legitimate threat (and it was not beyond the realm of possibility; Tsunade knew the devious uses some kunoichi were put to), well then, she and Ibiki would have a private sadism contest, with the judge to be the unlucky Sakaki Maaya. Seeing as how this girl she'd never heard of definitely _wasn't_ on Tsunade's (very) short list of approved potential matches for Naruto, the youthful (looking) commander couldn't decide which outcome she hoped for more.

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'_I gotta find out who taught him to be so sneaky,'_ Naruto growled to himself as he ground his way past three-hundred. The two of them were neck-and-neck, and the true cause of Naruto's misfortune stood above them, keeping count with a smirkier smirk than usual. Hyuuga Neji looked _entirely_ too pleased with himself, for Naruto's woe was Neji's joy: the Hyuuga's self-dubbed 'Eternal Rival' had found a _second_ Eternal Rival, and you didn't have to be a jounin to know that the math on that situation was great for Neji..

After getting chased out of the Hokage's office by a smiling Shizune (who was just as angry as Tsunade at first, but just as affectionate and glad when he explained), Naruto's first stop had been, of course, Ichiraku Teuchi's ramen stand. Unfortunately this was Spot Number One to find Uzumaki Naruto, and it was there where Team Gai minus Gai (thank God!) had found him.

"Good afternoon Naruto-san! Welcome back to Konoha," he cried with a proudly courteous bow. "Word has been spreading since this morning of your thrilling encounter with enemy shinobi from the Sound! I must know, is this true?!" he demanded with frantic desperation. In his frustration Lee's bowl-cut looked almost geometrically perfect.

"Gawmph!" Naruto choked out over a mouthful of noodles, falling down onto the counter in shock at Lee's passionate ambush greeting, spilling glorious ramen all over suddenly less-than-glorious self. He was glad to see Team Gai, since he'd intended to pay Tenten a visit anyway, but the cardinal sin in Uzumaki Naruto's personal theology (Ruining Ramen) made him angrier than Inuzaka Kiba at the veterinarian's office.

'_Dammit! This would be so much easier if I could offer to make seals for Tenten,'_ he grumbled, but that was classified (and agreed upon, incredibly, by both Jiraiya _and_ Tsunade). He decided to take advantage of Lee's gaffe, and let himself wind up to a real tantrum. Although the truth was he didn't totally mind having his shirt soaked with ramen. It made him smell great!

"Lee-teme! Look what you made me do!" he growled furiously at the older chuunin, who to his credit _did_ appear duly ashamed of himself. Everyone knew Wasting Ramen was Sin Number One for Naruto. It was taken so seriously that Lee didn't even get upset at being called a bastard, something which normally would've gotten the hard-work genius pretty pissy himself.

"Ohhhh! Naruto-san, I humbly beg your forgiveness! In punishment I will…" he began, and then discarded his first choice as not sufficiently punitive, "I will…not ask Sakura-san for a date for one week!" he decided, and then his face crumpled in dismay. Lee firmly believed in the punishment fitting the crime, and everyone knew making Naruto waste ramen was a serious offense. Still, it took all his youthful honor not to call those words back.

"A month!" Naruto demanded at once, scenting blood and an unexpected opportunity. _'After all, I'm just a good haircut and some fashion sense away from losing Sakura-chan forever!'_ he reasoned to himself. He had respected Lee for years, after all. Heaven help him if Lee did the one or two things necessary to become real competition for Sakura-chan's heart!

"Ohhh! Two weeks!" Lee cleverly rejoined. Nearby Neji and Tenten, usually aghast at Lee's antics and trying not to look it, were distinctly intrigued by this turn of events. Lee's self-flagellation was usually some purely physical exertion, so this negotiation was highly unusual.

"_Five_ weeks, this was my first bowl of ramen since I got back!" Naruto replied angrily. Behind him his loyal friend Ichiraku Ayame quickly snatched four other empty _used_ bowls off the counter before the distraught Lee could notice. Jiraiya would have been proud; Naruto lied without batting an eye.

"Ohhh! Alright, I will abandon my romantic efforts for five weeks, starting today!" Lee declared, further horrified at his 'crime', and broke down sobbing right then and there when he realized just what he promised. Naruto was tempted to demand that today not count, but figured he should quit while ahead. Tenten and even Neji (though only to a watchful eye) looked dismayed at how saddened Lee was, and they might step in at any moment.

But as usual, Rock Lee was underestimated by those around them. Manfully mastering his pain, he stood up straight and challenged his Eternal Rival right away to a one-handed knuckles-only push-up contest with a special ten-minute duration. The beginnings of a really epic Hyuuga smirk graced Neji's face when Naruto at first refused, but then immediately accepted when Lee slyly hinted that no self-respecting Kage could back down from a challenge by one of his peers. Lee hadn't come upon that clever conversational tactic on his own, you can be sure of that!

'_Yes, Naruto, it really is good to have you back,'_ Neji thought with satisfaction. A year ago it would have been _him_ on the ground, getting sweaty and dusty in this challenge with Lee. It had been the effort of months to guide Lee's highly focused mind in the appropriate direction. Slowly, carefully Neji pointed out that Kakashi-sensei was Gai-sensei's Eternal Rival, so wasn't it only fitting that Lee continue in Gai-sensei's proud tradition as opposed to stirring up discord within the team? And Naruto had spent years under the personal tutelage of one of the Densetsu no Sannin, so he was certain to be an excellent challenge.

Secretly Neji was also worried. He had learned the secret of Gai's genius training method, the Self-Imposed Rule, wherein a man improved more from failure than success due to outrageous failure-penalties. It had been paying off more as time passed; Lee's victories in their regular sparring matches and absurd challenges were trending up, and Neji had no intention of letting his (_'definitely not 'Eternal', dammit!' _he swore to himself) rival continue to build momentum against him.

As with most of Neji's evil plans, this one was a success. Naruto made an excellent dupe, Lee stayed 'youthful', Neji had time to adapt his training regimen to keep ahead of Lee, and Gai-sensei was further distracted from trying to wrangle his team into his zany (but effective) training escapades, for the man had redoubled his efforts to defeat Hatake Kakashi in honor of his pupil's new Eternal Rival.

As for Tenten, well, things didn't change much for her. She still had a pleasant diversion when she wanted one, watching two fit young men go at it hammer and tongs. While neither approached the aristocratic elegance of Neji, Naruto was wearing lots less orange and Lee's bowl cut didn't look so bad once it got messed up. Tenten got to analyze (or oogle, if she was just relaxing) two excellent and wildly different forms of taijutsu at her leisure. Of course some contests just devolved to two attractive guys doing attractive things in the dirt, which could be just as good. The frequent contests between Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura drew similar appreciative attention from the guys.

The contest was finally wrapping up with Naruto well ahead. In the finest tradition of Kakashi and Jiraiya he cheated ruthlessly, because how _else_ was he to defeat Lee in a short-term physical contest? Naruto had more endurance due to his tenant and his chakra usage, but Lee had greater physical strength, and could say the same to just about everyone in Konoha. If Naruto played fair, Lee would certainly beat him in a strictly physical contest with a time limit.

Fortunately Naruto's rival was just as vulnerable to a clone transformed into Sakura sashaying by as he ever was. He sprang up from his contest to declaim his usual flowery romantic greetings, only to stop himself halfway when he remembered his horrible promise to Naruto. This delayed him even further as he tried to say something that was both impressive but _not_ actively trying to win Sakura's heart, who for 'her' part begged off after Lee finally found his verbal footing claiming to be needed at the hospital.

Neither of Lee's teammates ratted Naruto out, not that it would have mattered. The blonde didn't need much time. Neji was just amused at Lee's confusion, and Tenten figured he needed experiences like this to wear down his vulnerability. While 'Sakura' helped Naruto cheat, the original Naruto capitalized on the distraction and went from slightly behind Lee's count to well ahead when time expired.

"Oh Naruto-san, I am defeated!" Lee declared sadly. But Sadness and Lee were not close friends, and anyway Lee had much bigger things to be sad about, now that he had nothing to distract him from the prospect of five months without pursuing Sakura. Even though that had been precisely his intent, Naruto couldn't help but feel sorry for Lee; after all, Naruto should have been more aware of his surroundings, and the only real 'loss' from Lee's surprise had been a delicious smelling shirt.

"Well Lee, maybe I was a bit too harsh," Jiraiya would have been proud of Naruto's innocent expression, "so I guess we could change the terms of our wager, eh?" He dangled the opportunity in front of his vanquished foe and by the gleam in his eye knew he had him. Neji and Tenten looked wary; they were willing to let Lee take an emotional beating to teach him a lesson as any good teammate would, but they weren't about to let Naruto take really nefarious advantage of the situation. Sakura had similarly saved Naruto from similar ramen-related perils.

"You would do such a youthfully honorable thing for me, Naruto-san? I would be forever in your debt! Name your terms, just don't bar me from my beloved cherry blossom!" he begged with his usual frantic intensity. For his part Naruto gaped wondering how the hell he got into this mess (and then he remembered; _'Prank Neji soon'_, Tenten didn't have a reason to add to Lee's rivalries).

"Lee, really, you've gotta be more careful sayin' stuff like that, man! I'm your friend," he said, feeling a _bit_ guilty at his trick, "but someone else might…ahem, take advantage," he said hurriedly, to keep Team Gai from really considering that thought. "Anyway, I happen to know Tenten owes you a few favors from all the speed-drills you two have done with her weapons training." Tenten straightened up a bit and looked more interested.

With his weights off Rock Lee was far and away the fastest shinobi in Konoha of his generation. Others such as Neji might use chakra and superb senses to enhance their reflexes and make up the difference at a given instant, but when it came to getting from Point A to Point B, Rock Lee was the man to see. Naruto had wondered more than once since meeting the strange postal shinobi if the organization had tried to recruit his 'Eternal Rival'.

Lee and Tenten both nodded at Naruto's words, and Neji looked as suspiciously aloof as he ever did. "Well, then. Your new 'agony of defeat' can be to get Tenten to transfer one of her favors over to me. Do that and I'll call us even. I picked up a kusarikama recently, and could really use some pointers to get me started using it," he said hopefully.

Lee of course was desperate to get Tenten to agree, and after she considered it for a moment she did as well. "Alright Lee, Naruto, you two have a deal. I'll train you for eight hours total on the kusarikama. Though I'll miss my usual fee," she said ruefully. She moonlighted as a weapons instructor when missions were scarce. "What time's good for you?"

With that the two of them started wrangling an agreeable schedule which at best would be half kept. Team Gai was kept very busy, and Team 7's schedule could be quite unpredictable with a medical genius and an espionage master among their number. They settled on an hour later that evening, and then Team Gai went their way and Naruto his-straight back to the ramen stand. All that cheating and exercise gave a future Hokage an appetite!

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Story Statistics:

Released: 2-18-08

Words: Approx. 6,600

Reviews: 28

Hits: 2366 (220 on the previous chapter)

Favs: 15

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Post-story Author's Notes: Howdy again! Well, soon the story will be flowing into more 'suspense-story' areas. I think I've done a decent job of setting a few plot hooks for future consideration: troubles with Sound, Cloud, and Rock villages, for example. Romantic possibilities with Sakura (unless someone can offer a really compelling idea, I think I'm settled on that). Lots of cool stuff Naruto can do with seals.

I pulled a muscle in my lower back about two weeks ago, so it hurts sometimes just sitting down. Hopefully this chapter will not reflect the distraction that inflicts. That along with my haste to get back to this story and get my brain thinking about it again may be detectable in this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it!

The 'pace' will if I do things right pick up after this chapter. As Naruto's reputation outside of his circle of precious people grows, gradually he will become more 'in demand'. The way I figure it, civilians have a lot of 'silent majority' style power in Konoha. Mostly they mind their own business, trying to live productive and happy lives and care for their children, but their mood will necessarily have an impact on the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

I've also tried to hint at some girl-for-a-guy style attraction, or at least _appreciation_, in this story. Tenten doesn't have a crush on neither Naruto or Lee (I haven't decided if Tenten-Neji will play any sort of role in this story), but it's been my ahem experience that girls dig eye candy just as much as guys do, though it's expressed differently, and seeing as how Naruto and Lee would have to have bodies honed by constant physical exertion and both are lacking, like, oozing sores or offensive odors, girls would enjoy looking at them, the same way guys enjoy looking at physically fit and otherwise non-repellant girls.

I see that sort of thing handled very badly in some stories, so if anyone is going to chime in, I'd _really_ appreciate input on that aspect of the story! I also hope I did a good job on the Tsunade-Naruto relationship. I think the two of them are both _extremely_ needy people.

Read the stories on my favorites page! There's not a one on there that I don't really, really enjoy and I think y'all will feel the same!


	9. Chapter 6: Konoha's Test Kitchen

Author's Pre-notes:

Review! Ask author Rei Ronin, he's persuaded me to take another look at considering NaruHina for this story. This chapter would look quite different without chit-chatting with him, which wouldn't have happened without reviews. Also, isn't enjoying stories why we come here? And part of enjoying stories is talking about them Lemme know what you think!

This little prelude scene takes place about a year into Jiraiya's training journey with Naruto. (The 'present' in this story takes place no more than a year after Naruto returns-I haven't decided when exactly). It's dedicated to the idea expressed, way back when, in the manga that Itachi and Kisame _together_ would have a difficult time facing Jiraiya of the Sannin and coming out alive.

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_Between one and two years ago…_

About a year into Naruto's training journey with Jiraiya, the Toad Sage of both fame and infamy, they passed through a civilian town in Earth Country. Both of them were often disguised by Jiraiya's arts as they trained, traveled, and held secret meetings (Naruto attended very few of these) with far-flung intelligence assets, who were spread throughout the world. Many of them didn't know they reported to one of Konoha's Densetsu no Sannin.

Unfortunately for our perverted hero(es), there were some whose skill could defeat even Jiraiya's disguises, if he was not prepared. This led to another showdown, eerily reminiscent of a past encounter. The scene was a clean, well-lit hallway in one of the town's inns. The time was broad daylight. A less likely setting for an epic ninja struggle was difficult to imagine. Jiraiya's pupil had been rendered unconscious by the strange and wicked mental powers of one Konoha's true bogeymen.

"_Kuchiyose no jutsu!"_ Jiraiya growled when his chakra was gathered in the correct pattern. A nin-toad appeared out of nowhere with a sharp crack. Standing just shorter than its master, it carried neither weapon nor armor and wore no clothing, unlike many of the other nin-toads. Aside from its entrance, the only remarkable thing about it was a bulging belly.

"Meet at the rendezvous point," the Sannin commanded, then slung his unconscious pupil off his shoulder. He tossed his burden to the toad whose mouth gaped to match his belly, and the creature swallowed Uzumaki Naruto whole before vanishing in a puff of smoke and noise.

Standing before the mighty Toad Sage were both Hoshigake Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. The swordsman looked angry (as much as a weird human-shark hybrid could, anyway), while the latter sighed in mild boredom, at best. Despite what must have been an unfortunate turn of events for the Akatsuki team, he betrayed no further emotion.

"Jiraiya-sama. Where is the rendezvous point you spoke of?" Itachi inquired politely. Kisame, clearly expecting to be ordered into another embarrassing retreat, was surprised and then excited at the prospect of fighting such a famous opponent. "Yeah, why not save yourself the trouble? The sooner you fork the brat over the sooner you can get back to writing!" the Mist-traitor pointed out.

"Ohh, a fan, eh?" Jiraiya warmed up at once. Very unprofessional, really, but then Jiraiya was not known as a stickler for the Shinobi Rules of Conduct. "Which book was your favorite, do you mind telling me?" he asked in the whiny-hopeful way of some authors, even famous ones. Itachi somehow radiated exasperation without actually showing any emotion in posture or expression, much less words.

To the unskilled observer, the scene would have looked very strange. A tall, strangely-dressed man with long white hair addressed a tall, strangely dressed weird fish-human looking…guy. The white-haired old guy's expression was delighted, and so were his words. The fishy-looking character had a look of sneering disdain and wasn't replying at all, though the happy man's words reflected an actual conversation. The scene's third participant, a man younger and shorter that the others with a weary-looking face, crept towards the talkative man drawing a short bladed weapon as stalked. His eyes were as blank as if they were plucked from an unpainted marble statue.

His moment reached, the emotionless attacker lunged forward in a gesture so lethally efficient it was graceful. Suddenly his target's speech changed slightly, and he seemed to be addressing them both. "Well Kisame-kun, you know the research I did for that installment was my most dangerous up to that point! Let me tell you, peeping with Tsunade-hime around is always a tricky proposition! Ahh, I was so young and stupid, I thought I could do anything!" He shook his head with a rueful expression for his foolish younger days.

"Have you ever felt that way, Itachi-kun?" he inquired mildly, glancing down at his would-be murderer, whose kunai had been deflected by just a twitch of his forearm, blocking the point with the armor on his hands.

'_What a strange man,'_ Itachi reflected with his usual detachment. _'To continue to talk into the genjutsu even after it's no longer necessary.'_ He would have to escape and return to Leader-sama to report another failure. It was sure to be a tedious conversation filled with thinly-veiled threats but no real punishment, since Itachi and Kisame still had many months left on their deadline, and had never yet failed their organization. Fortunately escape would not be very difficult. Ninja of his caliber were much easier to kill outright than restrain. Not that there _were_ any ninja of his caliber in his mind, with the exception of the (true?) leader of Akatsuki.

But then something stranger still began to happen. The Toad Sage's hair quickly and silently lengthened and pick up a threatening glint. Harmless ends of the man's coarse hair became countless jagged, ugly spikes that surged forward to engulf the kin slayer. Sharingan spinning, Itachi caught a glimpse of chakra channeled into Jiraiya's fingers, but not in time to stop the Sage's meaty hand from snapping around Itachi's wrist like a vise. The chakra control and motion was so fast it pushed the limits of the Sharingan's ability to track effectively.

"Really Itachi-kun, I've been creating and living in false worlds since before your mother was a gleam in your grandfather's eye," he tut-tutted with a smile. But then something happened that set even the implacable Itachi on his heels, figuratively speaking. Slowly the friendly, chiding expression twisted until Jiraiya's face until it was a rictus of fury. Gone was the amiable Jiraiya who chatted with the false Kisame; now he was sized up Itachi like a toad eyeing a plump, juicy fly. A toad that would enjoy feeling the fly writhe on the way down.

"And now you empty broken boy, we can finish what we started a year ago without distraction. Why Orochi-teme was ever interested in those tedious eyes of yours is beyond me. Call your fishy friend or let him wait his turn. We'll be here for awhile," he vowed with a bloodthirsty smile.

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_Present day…_

Early the next morning Naruto rose from a light sleep, well-rested and not sore at all. On their journeys, Jiraiya had thoroughly 'trained' Naruto to be a very light sleeper. And since Akatsuki didn't want to _borrow_ Kyuubi, Jiraiya's training was creatively sadistic. The blonde chuunin surged into his day with his usual gusto, devoured numerous servings of instant ramen like a colony of ants, and then hit the shower.

'_At least I get somethin' outta the bastard fox in my guts. Another painless morning!'_ he reflected as he bathed. By all rights he should have been at least a _little_ sore, for Tenten was not a 'Your best is good enough' style instructor, and anyway had worked most of the day before that and then for another hour after he finished training with Tenten.

Before Sakura had learned of his demonic tenant, she had expressed amazement at Naruto's lack of sore mornings considering how hard he always worked the night before. But Naruto didn't mind her shock – how could she know how tender a subject that was, at the time? – and it just made him respect his precious people even more. All of them worked hard despite having much achier bodies than he did.

He glanced at the clock and then out the window at the cawing of a nearby bird, but it wasn't time for him to head to Hokage Tower for hours yet, and the bird wasn't for him. "So, fuinjutsu it is!" he proclaimed. He chastised himself for the disorganized, hurried notes he had taken in Wakaga, but not very badly. _'I was in a hurry, after all.'_

He cast his senses about with grim suspicion that shifted to satisfaction. _'No one spying, no one nearby,'_ he concluded after double checking the window and the door. Because he intended to do some actual work and not merely organize his notes, he took extra precautions. They had been emphasized in the strongest possible terms (meaning blunt force trauma) as absolutely necessary.

Security and concealment seals were the first thing Jiraiya taught him, once they'd covered the basics enough for Naruto to really get started. He was wise to do this, for although Naruto hated the idea of it, being able to hide and conceal information was an excellent survival tool. His argument had been, "splosions! Ero-sennin, can't y'just teach me the exploding tag seal?!"

But the perverted hermit had not relented. He knew, from Naruto's work with the rasengan on their first journey together, that some of Naruto's best learning, his incredible intuitive leaps, frequently occurred when he was teaching and practicing himself. So Jiraiya decided to give Naruto the tools to practice fuinjutsu on his own, without having to sneak out into the woods alone. That would've caused suspicion, and anyway it wasn't a good idea for Naruto to be alone.

Using this hard-won knowledge, Naruto secured his home against any prying eyes (or ears, or any of the _other_ senses for that matter) so he could get to work. Once his seals were inked onto paper, he slapped the tags onto surfaces in the room. Now it was proof against shinobi sensory techniques, most especially Byakugan. _'Hinata and Neji are OK, but even _they_ might be usin' their eyes for somethin' else and see what I was doin'.'_

His seals stopped chakra-perception techniques. If Neji or Hinata _were_ in the area, looking for something with Byakugan, his walls would be annoyingly opaque. An Inuzaka out for a stroll would not catch the scent of ink and paper imbued with chakra. Of course no security system was perfect. A Hyuuga ANBU officer, for instance, would have no trouble. They specialized in that sort of thing. If Inuzaka Tsume were out with her pack for a stroll, he'd be lucky if he knew his seals failed.

_'But why worry bout that? If things are that bad I'm screwed anyway, right? Of course right!'_ So for the next three hours, if someone _did_ manage to penetrate his security, they would've heard a strange one-voiced conversation.

"Ah-ha!"

"Eureka!"

"Yowch! Too much transfer!"

"Ha! What'll those bastards think of next?"

But unfortunately genius has its penalties as well as its rewards. Naruto was so thoroughly engrossed in his seal studies – he was already well on his way to being able to consistently craft most of the seals he had documented in Wakaga, and had a solid grip on the theory behind all of them – that he went well over his self-imposed quitting time. After a few surprising, unintended all-nighters he used an alarm clock, but the lure of an entirely new branch of fuinjutsu was too strong to remember such wise precautions. But Naruto always got _some_ kind of wake-up call, and most of them weren't as harmless as an annoying alarm clock…

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Haruno Sakura's mood could best be described as 'grouchy'. To the ignorant layman, 'grouchy' might fit all the time, but to those who knew her best that just wasn't true. Sakura gave off warning signs before she lashed out, much like wolves, bears, and fire ants. You just had to know what to look for and for the love of God keep your head down until you do!

She was grouchy because she was confused, and if there was one thing Sakura hated, it was feeling confused. _'C'mon girl, it's time to make a decision! Are you _really_ gonna let this Maaya-bitch into your territory?'_ Inner-Sakura sounded _especially_ peeved this morning.

Sakura sighed in annoyed resignation as she walked to Naruto's place. Inner-Sakura had more often been absent in Sakura's adolescence than in her childhood, but when something was both very confusing and very important to her, Inner-Sakura was frequently close by. Her feelings about Naruto were one such area, in fact were biggest area when it came to importance and confusion.

'_Oh, I guess you're right. Hey, I know what I'll do! I'll start throwing myself at him, make a fool out of myself, he'll reject me, and I'll break my heart again!'_ Sakura replied sourly. But to be honest, she had to admit it was very unlike that Naruto would either reject her _or_ break her heart. _'Knowing him, he'd somehow manage to reject me and _not_ break my heart,'_ she thought with a sigh. The way he'd changed people's mindsets before, she wouldn't put it past him

'_Nothing ventured, nothing gained,'_ Inner-Sakura replied serenely, reminiscent of Tsunade in her dangerously calm response. _'I thought you gave up being so chickenshit years ago, in your first Chuunin Exams,'_ she went on.

'_Ahh, there's the me I know and loathe,' _Sakura thought wryly. But this wasn't about just being nervous and uncertain. It was about the kind of emotions she'd felt and decisions she'd made about Sasuke, and steering clear of similar mistakes in the future. Her longing had been nothing short of disastrous, and besides, she had a busy, important life now.

When you spent your days up to your elbows in someone's guts trying to repair them before they bled out onto your table, somehow is-it-or-isn't-it feelings about teammates became a lot less urgent. It had lent her some much-needed perspective on matters of the heart, and although she could not really bring herself to regret loving Sasuke (though there were moments when she did), she recognized that falling so hard so fast for someone was a bad idea. The Sakura who trained hard with Tsunade, who saved many lives on the operating table and in the field, who completed many dangerous assignments, didn't have _time_ to worry about such things.

Unfortunately for the time being she _didn't_ have her hands in someone. _'That's right, and now this new bitch is movin' in! Tell ya what, Sakura, here's what you should do: since you screwed up with Sasuke, you should sit on your hands and wait to decide how you feel about him until after some girl _marries_ the guy. This Maaya person or Hinata, for example. _She_ ain't gonna stay a pussy forever, y'know!' _Inner-Sakura could be as sarcastic as Tsunade sometimes.

That warning had her thinking back to the conversation she'd had (or been subjected to) with Tsunade-shishou and Shizune-sempai yesterday evening.

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Whenever they could manage to wrangle the time, three of the busiest healers in the Fire Country did their best to meet each evening after the day's work was done, to discuss both matters business and pleasure. Tsunade kept in touch with what her apprentices were doing, as well events in Konoha that might not make it to her desk. Shizune needed some sort of relief from constantly harrying Tsunade, and as the Hokage's assistant, needed to keep tabs on things as well. As for Sakura, her attendance was compulsory, but she enjoyed it anyway.

Things had been going smoothly, with Shizune and Sakura reporting to their Hokage on who needed hiring, firing, raises, pay cuts, and things of that sort at the hospital. Shizune held that _de facto_ power ever since Tsunade returned, and once Sakura had proven reliable, she had that power to an extent as well, wielded through recommendations to her two seniors.

"He's not _incompetent_, Tsunade-shishou. I just think he needs a little more seasoning. Combat medic?" Sakura's eyes widened and she shrugged slightly in a feminine way that indicated absolute disapproval. They were speaking of one of Konoha's shinobi emergency paramedics. Such people needed level heads, but getting someone to the hospital quickly was one thing. Dragging them a few kilometers through the wilderness in a combat zone to save their life in a filthy, dark campsite was quite another.

"Maybe he could be transferred back to the STC for more 'seasoning', as Sakura-kohai puts it," Shizune smiled slightly. Tsunade perked up at the mention of Konoha's largest shinobi school, and then grinned suddenly in a way that made Sakura _very_ uncomfortable. _'What are you planning, shishou?'_ she wondered anxiously.

"You know Shizune, I think that's a _very_ good idea. Wonderful in fact. After all, like we learned earlier today, you meet the most_interesting_ people from the STC, don't you agree, Sakura?" Tsunade's smile was entirely too sweet. It was a strange statement for the Sannin to make. It was generally agreed that the strange, often dysfunctional jounin-sensei trained some pretty weird (thus interesting) shinobi. But even if Sakura hadn't recognized something was up, Tsunade's grin would've tipped her off. The Hokage was an aggressive woman, and rarely smiled _that_ happily unless someone else was getting burned.

"Of course, Tsunade-shishou," Sakura offered warily. Her agreement was sincere, despite the fact that STC shinobi were more normal, more conventional. The powers that be in Konoha carefully nurtured camaraderie between STC and jounin-instructor shinobi. Even though her STC peers seemed boring compared to the Rookie 9 (plus Team Gai), sometimes she envied them for their intense and abiding friendship. They couldn't wiggle an elbow without hitting a sibling-in-arms, whereas Sakura had only three other people she felt that strongly about (four, now counting Sai, but three, because Sasuke was absent).

"Naruto feels the same way, you know," Tsunade offered idly as though it were nothing, bringing Sakura out of her musing with a jolt. She sipped her 'tea' while she did so. Sakura and Shizune had real tea, while Ton ton sipped water from a dish at their feet.

"Well of course he does. Naruto's interested in everybody, at least for a little while" Sakura said matter-of-factly, playing her cards close to the vest.

Tsunade's brow furrowed in irritation. As Sakura's teacher, she appreciated it when her apprentice played a cunning game even in verbal spars, but it was less entertaining for her personally. "Oh, I don't know about that. And even if I agreed, well, there are some people more _interested_ in than others."

"And some of those people are even interested in _him_," Shizune offered with a sly grin hidden by her cup. Tsunade's senior apprentice was by no means pleased that her junior colleague seemed to be picking up some of Tsunade's worst habits. The drinking and gambling hadn't reared their ugly heads, but the nasty temper and nastier violence that followed certainly had. So she took a bit of satisfaction from teasing Sakura, for different reasons than her master.

As for Sakura, she quickly noticed the particular inflection Tsunade and Shizune were using on the word 'interest'. That was when the confusion that would plague her the next morning made itself known. _'Who are they talking about? It's not Hinata, is it? No, she's jounin-sensei trained. Someone else?'_ Sakura hadn't decided how she felt, but fortunately there wasn't much urgency since no one else but Hinata was interested. And as far as Naruto was concerned, Hinata could be relied upon to timidly admire, and faint. No urgency from _that_ quarter.

Now it seemed someone new had come along to upset the status quo. She didn't have to know how she felt to know that she didn't like some…_stranger_…coming along and mucking around with things.

"Oh, so who's interested in Naruto now?" she asked, and then took a sip of tea. Neither Shizune nor Tsunade were fooled by her nearly flawless casual interest.

"Well since you're so _interested,_" Tsunade could load a lot of playful viciousness and double-meaning into that word, "let me tell you about Sakaki Maaya…"

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So because of all that, Sakura was seriously grouchy. Doubly so because apparently Naruto had decided today was 'Be Like Kakashi-sensei Day', and was already half an hour late for the briefing in Tsunade-shishou's office.

'_Very unlike him, actually. He'd better have a good excuse!'_ she growled, clenching her fists for emphasis. It felt good to be able to get angry with the object of her confusion. People recognized the warning signs of Sakura-on-the-warpath, so she was able to move through the crowds quickly. In fact, the crowd on _her_ side of the street was noticeably lighter than on the other.

When it came to love, Haruno Sakura was a mess, and she knew it. 'Once bitten, twice shy,' as the saying goes. That's why she had decided again on the way to Naruto's home to adopt a much more conservative approach to the matter regarding Naruto than she had with Sasuke. She just couldn't be sure how she felt, and she owed her best friend the kind of honesty on _that_ topic that she just couldn't give him while she was so confused.

'_Well, maybe you should give _me_ a shot if you're so _confused_,'_ Inner-Sakura said with a snort of contempt. _'I wouldn't kick that boy outta bed for eatin' crackers, I can tell you! Look at him!'_ Even though Sakura had long since seen past public perceptions to realize that, hey, Naruto was quite a looker (_'So_exotic_, girl! Don'tcha wanna see what's under the hood?'_), she remained firm in her commitment to a slow and cautious approach after her disaster with Sasuke.

Inner-Sakura could hardly be listened to on _this_ subject, anyway. Despite her lascivious demeanor regarding men in general and Naruto in particular, she had as much experience as Sakura herself: next to none. _'I don't have time for all that!'_ she nodded fiercely.

But despite (or perhaps because of) this uncertainty, there was one thing Sakura was sure of: she didn't like Sakaki Maaya, even though she knew next to nothing about her. She saw her once, shortly after she started interning at the hospital, but not as her own patient. That didn't stop the dislike, though; perhaps it even made it easier.

It was nothing personal, (_'Yeah, right,'_ Inner-Sakura sneered) but even if she decided she didn't _love_ love Naruto, he was still _hers_ in a different way. _'After all, she's just a regular chuunin!'_ Inner-Sakura grinned snobbily. No one on Team 7 was going to be involved with anyone short of exceptional, not if she had anything to say about it!

And unfortunately for Team 7, she did.

It was so nice when things worked out that way!

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"Hmmm. I'll need to visit a nursery to get good soil. Maybe Ino's flower shop. I can't test these seals yet," Naruto mused aloud. Naruto often rambled on aloud when he was studying. The agricultural seals he'd learned in Wakaga dealing with sunlight posed no problem to learn and master. They didn't even strain his technique, since many of the more interesting combat seals dealt with energy transfer.

Transfer of soil nutrients, though…now that was a different thing altogether! Unsurprisingly he'd never learned or even imagined _that_ before, but Jiraiya persuasion still worked; Naruto tried to learn every last bit of knowledge there was about fuinjutsu. Next to eating ramen and training, it was one of his favorite hobbies. An idea tickled the back of his mind, something to do with plant growth, and he was just about to realize it, when a thundering boom came from his door, startling him so badly he fell off his chair.

**"UZUMAKI NARUTO! YOU'D BETTER BE SICK OR DEAD IN THERE AND IF YOU'RE NOT YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE! DO YOU REALIZE HOW LATE YOU ARE?!"**

_'Oh shit, I _am_ late, aren't I?'_ he groaned to himself nervously. A glance at the clock to see just _how_ late made him shudder. Since fleeing wasn't really an option this morning – he had to meet Sakura at the Hokage tower no matter what – he manfully decided that the best course of action was prompt, fearful submission. Or 'taking it like a man' as he preferred to call it. That sounded better.

"Oh! Sakura-chan, right, sorry! I'm coming, just a sec!" Naruto cried out anxiously. A lesser man would've wet his pants, but Naruto managed to scramble to his feet and scurry to the door, hastily deactivating seals along the way while trying to calm his teammate down. Feeling weird chakra as she entered would likely make her angrier. "Just a sec, Sakura-chan! I'll be right there! _Please don't break my door down!_" he pleaded.

It was impossible to tell if she had been on the verge of doing so when he finally opened it, since she could do so with a flick of her wrist. She looked good and pissed, though; angrier than she usually was at tardiness, in fact. _'Uh-oh, Naruto, tread lightly!'_ "Sakura-chan, good morning! Geeze, I guess you got to visit that spa you were talkin' about last week, cause you look great!" he exclaimed nervously. He wasn't very good with flattering women, but he was desperate enough to try.

His remark appeared to surprise her, and he shuffled back nervously. Surprising a Sakura this angry was like surprising a rhinoceros. She colored slightly, then scowled, then sighed in exasperation. He knew _that_ sigh. "Naruto, you'd better get your ass in gear or I'll put it there!" she threatened, shaking a fist at him. "C'mon, we're already very late!"

"I…err…right, Sakura-chan, of course, and I'm _very_ sorry, but really, I can't leave my notes just lyin' around, I gotta tidy up first. Ero-Sennin's orders," he explained meekly. He just couldn't help himself; he instinctively went into a basic defensive stance, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good, as he anticipated a serious thrashing.

"Your _notes,_ Naruto?" Sakura asked in a dangerous voice, stepping into Naruto's apartment. Her nose crinkled prettily in distaste at the scent of funky clothing flung into corners.

"Umm…yeah, my notes. C'mon in, I'll show ya, it's really cool! Ero-sennin said I wasn't allowed to tell anyone without permission – classified, he says – but screw that, you're…oh! Oh, no, not_those_ kinda notes, Sakura-chan!" Naruto gasped suddenly as he realized mentioning Ero-sennin and notes together was very unwise._'Thank the kami I figured out what she meant before she pounded me!'_ Naruto was a man of frequent prayer – desperation prayer, that is.

"Really," she replied skeptically. "Well then what kind of notes _are_ they, Naruto?" Her tone was still suspicious as she followed him to the next room. She was surprised to find seals stuck to several walls. Some were still active; _inside_ their target area, she could feel them. She vaguely recognized some of the arcane symbols, but her knowledge of fuinjutsu was poor.

"What are those seals, Naruto? What's going on?" Suspicion was replaced by frank, burning curiosity when she saw his table strewn with notes. There were few things Sakura enjoyed more than learning new things and solving mysteries, and it seemed once again her Number One Surprising teammate was pay dirt on both counts.

"Eh-hehehe, you don't recognize them, Sakura? Finally! I know something you don't know, and it's not about ramen!" His wise plan from before – fearful submission – was forgotten in his delight at this unexpected academic coup.

"Idiot!" she backhanded him in outrage, giving vent to all her irritation, confusion, and general unspent aggression. Much of her day was spent in the hospital, so she didn't get to vent through violent exercise as often as her other comrades. Really, that was why she was always with the hitting. No other reason. Not any similarity to master's temper, certainly not. And definitely not because she still felt Naruto needed to be kept in line (and alive) after that mess at the library, which had actually frightened (and thus angered) her very badly.

For his part, Naruto – who strangely never seemed to mind much – went plummeting down sideways and slammed into the floor. From beneath him there came a sharp, hollow pounding. "Keep it down up there, ya little snot!" The neighbors below were rarely happy with Naruto's shenanigans, or with Naruto.

Sakura scowled even more at that, glaring furiously at the floor. For a moment Naruto feared another smacking, perhaps a good old-fashioned stomping, but then he realized that her glare was for the residents one floor down._'Man, she's gonna wake a doujutsu if she keeps glaring that hard!'_

"Oh get up, Naruto. Geeze, you're not a pansy, are you?" She grunted at him, and then didn't give him time to comply when she plucked at his collar and hauled him up as easily as a pillow. A very light pillow. Naruto couldn't be sure where the chakra-strength started and where pure Sakura began. She clucked awkwardly at his painfully swelling cheek.

"Keep still, Naruto," she ordered him in her no-nonsense doctor's voice. "Sorry about that. But seriously, you _are_ very late and you know Tsunade-shishou is just as likely to take that out on me," she explained, sounding a bit embarrassed. "And as for knowing more than me," she growled, recovering some of her previous irritation as she laid a small, scarred hand flat on Naruto's cheek, "I've_forgotten_ more than you know about everything except ramen," she nodded with a harrumph as she channeled healing energy from her body onto Naruto's wound.

She removed her hand – maybe a bit slowly, but he had learned not to read too much into that sort of thing – and the swelling and discoloration were gone, along with the pain. Even his molars sat tighter in their sockets. "Thanks, Sakura-chan!" he said happily. He made sure to keep his pleasure hidden. It wouldn't do for Sakura-chan to guess that he considered a savage bitch slap a good trade for having her heal him like _that. 'Eh-heheheh,'_ he thought lustily.

"You're welcome, Naruto. Well, we're both awfully late and probably in pretty big trouble, but what the heck are you _doing_, anyway?" Sakura cursed a lot less when she wasn't angry.

Naruto was not so sanguine about upsetting Granny Tsunade as Sakura apparently was. He felt (correctly) that this wouldn't be a time where Tsunade spread the blame. He could feel an anticipatory headache coming on from where his forehead would surely be savaged, so he started cleaning up quickly. Not so quickly that he didn't let Sakura take a look around, though. "Studying the fuinjutsu I learned in Wakaga, Sakura-chan!" His grin was as infectious as usual.

Sakura grinned back, shaking her head. She had learned not to be surprised by the surprising, coming from Naruto. "You're studying what? I…wow. Geeze. If this had been a few years ago, I wouldn't have believed you, but you _are_ training with Jiraiya-sama. And it's practically your kekkai-genkai to surprise people. Fuinjutsu. _You!_" It was one of those things which baffled at first, but made sense when considered. She punched his shoulder (minus super-strength) to take the sting out of that last word, shaking her head. He could tell she was very impressed, and was practically basking in her approval.

"I know some of these to look at them," she said, eyes wandering around the room. Naruto, as easily distracted and entranced with Sakura as ever, watched her intently while she tapped a finger to her lips in thought. Thanks to his time with Ero-sennin, though, his scrutiny went entirely unnoticed.

"That's Silent, that's Hide, that's…well, OK, those are really the only two I recognize. And I just _barely_ recognize those," she went sounding quite frustrated. She didn't think they looked different than the standards because he'd messed them up. Knowing Naruto, he invented some shoestring ad hoc improvement for what was shinobi standard nearly everywhere, but managed to improve on the original.

"Ahh, good eye, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said quickly over a shoulder as he tugged the seals off the surfaces of the room. "They _used_ to be Silent and Hide, till I worked on em a bit, and now they're better. With_my_ little additions, y'get better concealment for less chakra and less disruption! Ero-sennin and I worked out those modifications together, and now we both use em instead of the old stuff. I'll tell ya about the others later, if you'd like." In short order the only sign of his work was a bulging envelope of the seals, a series of notebooks full of dense notations and formulae, and his brushes, inks, and powders.

Sakura studied Naruto and his supplies carefully. He cleaned up and stored them neatly. Sakura recognized some of her own academic intensity in Naruto's movements, and especially the careful way he stowed his notes. The seals themselves he took to the kitchen. While she watched, he opened the oven, tossed the bundle on the rack. A few quick gestures and a soft murmur later, flame burst from his mouth and filled the oven. Naruto shut the door on the conflagration. She stared at him in surprise as he came back in.

"Sakura-chan…listen, I need you to keep this to yourself. Ero-sennin and Tsunade-baachan would be super-pissed if they knew I told you about…" he gestured helplessly at his fuinjutsu notebook. "It's classified." He shrugged.

"It's _what?!_ Naruto, what the hell are you doing telling me, then?!" she exclaimed in outrage. Inner-Sakura was just as angry, but her song went to the tune of, _'Why was it classified from _me?!_ Shannaro!!!!'_

She got her angrier half under control, and went on. "Naruto, I'm sure Tsunade-shishou had a good reason for ordering this classified…not that I can guess what it is," she muttered, a sign of just how close her two halves usually were, "so I don't know what on earth came over you. You shouldn't have told me!" She was visibly unhappy. She and Tsunade had been worried about Naruto's trusting, rather naïve outlook (while admiring it intensely), and this was not a good sign.

"Yeah yeah, Sakura-chan," Naruto waved his hand in dismissal of her concerns. "It ain't like Ero-sennin and Granny follow all the rules either. It's _my_ secret, and besides, I trust you. You're Team 7 after all," he hastened to add. An equally true justification would have been, 'Because you're Sakura-chan,' but Naruto had learned through painful trial and error (and error, and error) to take it easy when it came to complimenting Sakura. Half of the time he botched it somehow and ended up sporting some new bruises anyway. He was still amazed his earlier flattery had worked.

Worried that this was one of the usual times, he missed the way Sakura's expression changed. A strange mixture of sadness and fondness showed for a moment, but he missed it. When he looked up again, eager curiosity was once again dominant. "OK, so, lemme bleed the lizard real quick," he joked – Naruto's favorite tactic with most emotional moments was to change the subject, usually badly – and then dodged the punch he knew was coming, taking his notes and supplies with him into the bathroom

He was a bit worried for a moment when he heard the tromp of an angry footstep behind him, but he made it in time and Sakura was too clever to bust down _that_ door. (Inner-Sakura, though, had a field day) A minute later – he really did have to go – he exited without his notes. Sakura made ready to shake him really hard, but stopped when she noticed he was empty-handed. A shrewd expression came over her face, to which Naruto shrugged with a smile.

"OK, I'm ready, let's go!" he exclaimed, making for the window. Naruto _loved_ traveling in shinobi style. Doors were for civvies! Unfortunately for his love for dramatic exits, Sakura once again deftly caught his collar – _'I have got to wear stuff that's harder to grab, dammit!'_ – and told him in no uncertain terms that they would be walking.

Naruto, correctly gauging his situation to be perilous at best, nodded meekly. "Of course, Sakura-chan!"

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Story Statistics:

Released: 3-8-08

Word count: Approx. 6,000

Reviews: 36 (Yay! An increase of nearly 25 over the previous chapter, thanks!)

Hits: 3466 (258 last chapter-my hit count has both risen and dropped sharply over the previous three chapters-surprising)

Favs: 21

C2s: 8

Alerts: 29

Author post-notes:

Whew! It's been awhile. Let me tell you, this chapter was tricky to get out. I am partially satisfied with it, because it's another transitional chapter-we'll be getting to Naruto's next assignment in the next chapter, and I anticipate the pace of both plot and story to pick up sharply once I've got some action and momentum again.

With this chapter I was struggling to do a few things. One, portraying Sakura. To me, Sakura is a very smart girl, and it's not beyond imagining that she would be very 'gun-shy' when it comes to romance after the emotional devastation of Sasuke's departure. I mean, I figure when you literally offer a guy _everything_ you've got, when you let him know you'll make any sacrifice, devote your time entirely to making him happy, and he still chops you in the head and leaves you on a bench and nearly kills one of your teammates…well, anyway, it makes a scar.

And I remember back in high school and junior high (not ever having been a shinobi;), these are my closest comparisons), some of the most involved, the most hardworking students (and athletes, and musicians, etc.) were focused on their work to the exclusion of all else. Not the majority, by no means, but some. And I figure for someone like Sakura, with a big helping of "I am useless" baggage, saving lives all the time in the hospital would start to have its effects.

So, she's smart enough to know she's hurt pretty bad, and that her emotions are out of whack. Plus she doesn't want to go boy-crazy again, despite (like Tenten) recognizing that Naruto is eye-candy. Being a straight dude, I don't think he's hot myself, but he certainly don't seem hideous, either!

Inner-Sakura is fun. She's a lot lewder and more ahem 'aggressive' than Sakura is, sexually, but she's not a slut. She's just not embarrassed to admit (to herself, anyway) that she likes cute guys. Some girls can get just as raunchy in their color commentary as guys can! It just depends on the girl and the environment, just like with guys.

Naruto the fuinjutsu researcher was fun, too. So were his interactions with Sakura. Even if the story doesn't turn up NaruSaku (and thanks primarily to discussions with Rei Ronin-read his stories!-that's a distinct possibility) they're still fun. Hell, there's some delightful discomfort possibilities for the two of them if Naruto _does_ end up with someone else. Would Sakura stop smacking him around just because he was dating some other girl? I think not!

I also wanted to indicate that although Naruto has a quick mind, and is capable of brilliant innovations (improving on fundamental shinobi seals such as the concealment stuff), he's not a full-blown seal master yet. It's only been a year, two years, tops! He's not going to be using Hiraishin in a fight anytime soon…though I may have him working on it in the near future. If Minato gave Kakashi a Hiraishin kunai, I'll bet he gave some other people that present too.

Please, please, let me know what you guys think. Review, or even just message me! I thrive on reviews. You can even have an impact on the story, if you put your case well enough, and if you're interested in trying. Few things are set in stone.


	10. Chapter 7: Ramen to go, Mr Uzumaki?

Author's Pre-notes: Woo! I got this one out pretty quick, didn't I? I have some very definite ideas about where things are going next, and while this was another transitional chapter, there was at least a lot of _movement_, if you guys know what I mean. I hope you enjoyed it Please, let me know what you think about how I handled Team Kurenai-it's important to me, as I think I have much less a grip on them than I do Team 7, but I'm still very fond of them and don't want to screw up.

Review! Especially if you think something stinks, I can take it, I swear! Tell me it's so bad you support retroactive abortions if you think so! Also, as you can see, I'm trying a new format to break things up. Please everyone let me know if the old way was good enough, or if this is an improvement, or suggestions as to how I should do it.

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Tsunade on more than one occasion drank to get drunk, and succeeded, but it wasn't so bad. As a legendary healer she controlled her body's functions as easily as flipping a switch. She had done just that on more than one occasion when circumstances demanded.

But Jiraiya wasn't a legendary healer, he was a legendary…well, actually, he was sort of a legendary jack-of-all-trades. In any case, those wise to his wily ways guessed he wasn't drunk nearly as often as he seemed. This was true, but _not_ because he didn't indulge in a frequent liquid lunch, or was sipping a fake alcoholic beverage. The strange, perverted sage had been a master of seals for a lot longer than careers of living shinobi; would anyone really have been surprised to learn he'd crafted an anti-hangover seal?

Together with Tsunade (whose mastery of metabolism was less legendary in her younger days), the two Sannin created a seal which hydrated, oxygenated, and boosted the metabolism of the body. It was one of the many more legendary accomplishments of the Sannin that was for the most part a secret; they had enough pride to want to avoid being known for inventing seals like _that_.

Many years after inventing the special seals, Jiraiya was doomed to once again learn the dangers of taking on an apprentice. Sometimes, the apprentice takes what the master has generously taught and turns it against him. If you're very unlucky, you get an Orochimaru level of treachery. Or, if you're Jiraiya, you get a Naruto level of treachery. Late one evening in Wind country, Jiraiya strutted back to their campsite from the rambunctious mining town they were visiting.

_'Oh great, he got laid again. Probably _not_ a working girl, either, judging by his strut,'_ Naruto groaned to himself. He was annoyed enough with his sensei as it was. Not only had the Toad Sage taken to mocking his pupil in colorful terms about his many romantic failures with Sakura, he'd left him – _again_ – to learn by himself that day. True, this method meant that everything Jiraiya taught him, Naruto _owned_, but some company would've been nice. Naruto had had his fill of solitude.

But he _hadn't_ had his fill of pranks. True, when he returned to Konoha he intended to change his reputation from 'annoying snot-nosed prankster' to 'evil-stomping helpless-helping hero', but that didn't mean he couldn't get away with some small-scale mischief right now.

Especially way out here in Wind country, far from Konoha. Alone, with a teacher who was absent so often as to qualify for missing-nin status. _'Heh heh, you never expected me to even _read_ that book, much less read ahead!'_ he grinned wickedly. One of the only books Jiraiya had ever published that _didn't_ involve vice was titled _So you Want to be a Seal Master?_ Thanks to a series of mutinous shadow clones (Naruto had not yet learned to enjoy studying) he was nearly done with the primer on fuinjutsu, and well ahead of schedule, too.

_'Like how to cancel a seal's effects, hehehe,'_ he grinned to himself. There were a few ways to negate a well-crafted seal. One could use a counter-jutsu, such as a water technique to deflect a burst of flame. Destroying it outright would work, of course. So would slightly damaging it; tearing the paper or smudging the ink badly enough would do the trick. But none of those methods suited his mischievous purpose. Fortunately there was another way, a way he'd just learned about towards the end of Ero-sennin's book: sabotage.

Glorious, glorious sabotage! Surely the inspiration for this prank came from a nearby kami, a spirit both just and merciful! _Someone_ had to realize how awful Ero-sennin was as a teacher, right? What with the constant stealing of Naruto's money, ongoing attempts to turn him to the Pervy Side, and violent responses to Naruto's justified complaints against these outrages, Ero-sennin was really pretty awful! 

Granted, all of those training methods were surprisingly effective. Stealing Naruto's money ensured he had nothing else to do but train, thus limiting distractions. Naruto had never really traveled before, so despite his devotion to self-improvement, he was often tempted to spend his hoard in many of the tourist traps they passed. The constant mockery (never intended to really hurt) just spurred him on to show up Ero-sennin, even when he knew that was the goal. Spite was a powerful motivator. As for perversions…well, for better or worse, Naruto needed little instruction in _that_ regard.

'_But that's not the point!'_ Naruto reminded himself, scowling bitterly at Ero-sennin as the Sannin settled down on his bedroll. Since Ero-sennin expected him to stare, it was a perfect cover for the student to study the master. _'Yes, there he goes!'_ he grinned to himself, seeing the Toad Sage rummage around in his pack and pull out a seal. Jiraiya was sure to be currently sporting the anti-intoxication seal, and what he reached for would ensure his morning was headache-free.

Or at least, the second seal was _supposed_ to ward away hangovers, and if his nose was any indicator – Jiraiya reeked like a distillery – his teacher had earned a whopper. And for once, Jiraiya would get what was coming to him! Naruto had carefully (_so _carefully) snuck Jiraiya's anti-hangover seals out of the man's pack, and subtly sabotaged the topmost seals. It was too bad he couldn't manage something really clever, like making hangovers _worse_, but for now his knowledge of seals permitted only cancellation.

"Ugh…g'night, punk," Jiraiya offered sourly from his bed. Jiraiya was already starting to get a headache. He relied upon the metabolism boost of his anti-hangover seal to quickly deal with the impairment.

'_But not _this_ time, Ero-sennin!'_ "Good night, Ero-sennin," Naruto said angrily, hiding his happiness quite well, really.

Some things were just worth the risk!

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Even a jinchuuriki's brain suffers temporarily when it gets wanged really bad by a legendary fist, sending it rocketing towards the large doors to the Hokage's office. Fortunately his body remained attached to his head; Tsunade was not _very_ angry. The oft-abused office was lucky too, for Izumo – who had yet to weasel his way out this unpleasant and risky duty – stood ready and quickly opened the door before it could be shattered to matchsticks. He deftly caught the careening Naruto and set him upright to trudge back into the office, nursing a seriously painful but already healing wound.

"So! Ummm…wait a second," Naruto wobbled on his feet, still slightly brain-scrambled, "Ummm…where were we?"

Along with Sakura, he had nervously entered the Hokage's office over an hour late for their meeting. Fortunately Sakura (in fear of becoming collateral damage) had helped him concoct an excuse on their way to the Hokage Tower, in exchange for a promise to tell her all about the seals he was studying. Their effective bullshit excuse was that Jiraiya had whisked into town for some late-night training. They had no idea if he was even _in_ Konoha, but it (mostly) diverted the Hokage's attention from being too angry with Naruto.

If Jiraiya _was_ in Konoha at the time, his stay would not be very productive. By now a runner had already been sent to all hot springs, bath houses, dressing rooms, and anywhere else attractive women were likely to gather to issue warnings. _'Bah, not like Ero-sennin doesn't deserve it!'_ Naruto thought to himself. He was still stinging in anticipation of having to fork over some hard-won cash in payment of the autograph bet, whenever he saw his master again.

Once Naruto de-scrambled his brains, Tsunade explained their assignment.

"Listen up brat, this one's off the books," she began, and he perked up immediately. 'Off the books' meant just what it sounded like: an assignment that for whatever reason was not recorded by the bureaucrats. Of course the term was something of a euphemism. The Hokage would have private, very highly classified records of her own, along with some other top officials. A hidden village had to keep _very_ close tabs on their closeted skeletons.

"Obviously this is highly classified. _All _of it, until the mission's complete and perhaps after as well. Understood?" Tsunade demanded, and went on when the pair nodded. "We may have a problem with one of Fire Country's nobles, Itakura Hiroshi. I doubt you know the name, but the man is a serious player at the Fire Daimyo's court. Here's a dossier, also classified. Read it then destroy it." Again her subordinates nodded.

"Since you were _late_," she scowled coldly at Naruto, "I'll have to keep this short. At best we have concerns about Hiroshi-san's ability to govern effectively. At worst he is disloyal. In these situations we normally petition the Fire Daimyo for authority to question the man in our usual way." The usual way was a polite meeting with a shinobi who could be trusted to detect falsehoods, with the shinobi varying according to the diplomatic necessities involved. A meeting with a Hyuuga was often considered an honor; an interview with an Aburame sometimes a calculated insult.

"Unfortunately in addition to being a real power at court, Hiroshi-san is also _very_ popular. It's almost suspicious. His people love him. His soldiers love him. His peers at court love him. _Everyone_ loves him, so we've got to tread very lightly. Even if he _is_ a traitor, we can't afford to alienate him before we have hard proof," she sighed unhappily. Tsunade was capable of as much deceit as any Kage, but it clearly wasn't her preference.

"Had everyone been present, you would've gotten a more thorough briefing, but the others had to leave. It was important that they be seen leaving 'officially'. Team Kurenai, minus Kurenai-san, left a little under an hour ago. You can catch up to the three of them if you hurry, I have no doubt. Naruto, get started reading that dossier. Sakura will have it done by the time you're still using a dictionary to understand all the words," she sneered, shooing him out of her office with a wave of her hand. Shizune went along, to mother-hen him as long as she could until he left.

"Sakura," Tsunade said with the snap of command in her voice, "I order you to return with Naruto to Konoha at once, willing or no, if there is so much as a whiff of Akatsuki activity. Be on the alert. Jiraiya reports that after losing their two 'immortals'," she sneered with deep satisfaction on that word, "Akatsuki is in disarray. Those rings we captured are very strange, not just ornamental. Since it's Akatsuki we suspect they're crucial to the bijuu extraction process. For these reasons we think that if Akatsuki _can_ muster up trouble, they'll send it here to get the rings, and not to Naruto specifically. A technique as complicated as transferring an imprisoned bijuu would be much more dangerous and time-consuming without those rings."

Sakura was stunned. "That's wonderful, Tsunade-shishou!" she exclaimed in delight. "Errr…well, not that they might attack Konoha, but…well, you know what I mean," she hurried to explain in embarrassment. The thought of even one of those obscenely powerful lunatics attacking Konoha made her stomach churn. She clearly remembered the damage to Sunagakure, even protected from the final blow by Gaara's sacrifice.

Fortunately for her, Tsunade nodded with a little smile. "Of course. The little punk is why I came back to this town, remember? I took the job because of him and…others," Tsunade rarely spoke of her own past, "and even though assuming the title meant Konoha becomes my top priority, I'm still glad the heat's off him. Besides, we're no pushovers, either. We're stronger than Suna was when they were attacked, and Akatsuki is weaker. I _welcome_ an attack. We've got the momentum now, Sakura. I want to keep it," she grinned fiercely.

"Hai, Tsunade-shishou!" Sakura saluted with a flair of patriotism. Akatsuki still frightened her – she was no fool – but after having personally had a hand in putting one of the monsters down, and witnessing the defeating blow of another, they were now more along the lines of powerful opponent than bogeyman. And Sakura knew what to do with powerful opponents.

You found a way to kill them, _any_ way, and then you did it.

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"Y'know Sakura-chan, I _did_ read the dossier, and I passed through this area before with Ero-sennin on training, even though we only stayed for a day," Naruto groaned as Sakura began to lecture him on what to expect on their mission. The two were rocketing through the treetops heading northwest out of Konoha through one of the shinobi travel corridors in the KSZ. Most of the traps in those paths were kept dormant on a rotating random schedule. It was important to check with the guards at the gate to make sure you knew where to step, and where not to.

"You did? That fast?" she replied with some surprise, and instinctive disbelief.

"Of course! C'mon Sakura-chan, y'don't study fuinjutsu by being illiterate. Who knows how many arms and legs I'd have if I couldn't read well and fast? Or how many arms and legs I _wouldn't_ have," he grinned. "Hup!" he grunted, vaulting over an especially thick bough. Only near Konoha did the trees grow so large. The lowest portion of the canopy where the enormous trunks were just sprouting branches was still dozens of meters from the ground.

For her part, Sakura groaned in embarrassment. _'Really, haven't I learned my lesson yet?'_ she groaned. It just didn't pay to underestimate her teammate. _'At this rate, I won't even be able to rely on him having shitty table manners!'_ "Well then, Mister Know-it-all, why don't you just tell me about this lord and his town?"

"Ha! A test, is it? Well I ain't so bad on tests as I used t'be, Sakura-chan," he vowed and then went on in a voice that was pure tour-guide. He'd heard more than one of them on his travels. "Lord Itakura Hiroshi is a twenty eight year-old nobleman. He's got many towns and villages in his fief, thousands of acres, and tens of thousands of subjects, but his capital is the city of Sodegaura…"

Sakura had to admit that although the tour guide voice was annoying as hell, his information was accurate. Sodegaura, like most civilian cities, was much larger than Konoha in both size and population. It had seen a lot of action in the last Shinobi War, sited for it was located almost perfectly between Konohagakure and Iwagakure. Fortunately those wars had been nearly twenty years ago, and while some of the city was still fortified with walls, towers, barracks, and fortresses, it had expanded far beyond its old martial boundaries.

'_Is he still droning on?'_ Sakura wondered, and then paid attention to his words again.

"As for Lord Itakura himself, he's the only son – in fact the only child – of the famous Lord General Itakura. He's well loved by…well, everyone, really, according to his dossier, just like Tsunade said…"

'_Right, right,'_ she sighed. Sakura had learned how to tune out the redundant lectures of teachers, she'd just never expected to have to do that with _Naruto_ of all people. Still, she had literally asked for it so she may as well endure. Nothing else to do besides rush through the treetops anyway.

Lord Itakura hadn't really earned his popularity. His father first became famous for good generalship in the wars, taking up his post at a young age and acquitting himself well. When the war ended he earned more respect by presiding over years of steady and uneventful prosperity, low taxes, and just laws. In addition to being a charismatic, amiable man in person, these qualities and his decades-long tenure had earned him tremendous goodwill throughout Fire Country, and this respect carried over to the Itakura name.

"The _new _Itakura-sama, on the other hand…well, it's too soon to tell what sort of leader he'll be. Everyone still loves him, but according to our reports it's mostly because he hasn't really screwed with his father's setup. But part of the reason we drew this mission is that things are changing. Several key administrators have 'resigned' in the past few months, to be replaced by much less experienced aristocrats who are personal friends of Lord Itakura, cronyism pure and simple. Also, it seems Lord Itakura is spending a _lot_ of money, even for a spoiled aristocrat." Habits like those were especially distasteful to an aspiring leader like Naruto.

'_And here I thought the only reading he understood was on the side of a ramen cup,'_ Sakura sighed. That's just how life was, right? You rely on a guy not being able to count past ten due to a finger limit, and then he goes and gets an education. Typical.

"Long story short," Sakura snorted in amusement at that, "Lord Itakura has all the markers of either treachery or incompetence. But everyone kisses his ass, so we gotta take things slow with him. That's why Granny's sendin' a Hyuuga on a 'diplomatic visit' to Sodegaura to check things out. Lots of people will see through that, but it's a necessary bit of bullshit," Naruto concluded, his expression sour.

There was much more to the dossier, of course: birthday, blood type, known likes and dislikes, associates, friends, enemies, favorite foods, and all sorts of (probably) trivial details _ad infinitum_. Too much information was _usually_ better than not enough, but sometimes that just muddied the waters. Sakura counted herself lucky that she and Naruto, serving as the fist in a Team 8 diplomatic glove, wouldn't have to worry about it very much. _'Make sure Naruto lets Team 8 do their job, Sakura. We cannot afford alienating such a powerful noble until we know what's going on, and by all accounts the new Lord Itakura loves courtier manners.'_

'_I won't let you down, Tsunade-shishou,'_ she promised herself. Still, she reminded herself that her knucklehead teammate had seriously surprised her twice in just the past hour or so. _'Who knows? Maybe he learned some discretion?'_ Stranger things _had_ happened…but not many.

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Naruto and Sakura were surprised when, just a short while later, they caught up with their teammates for this mission. Due to his enormous stamina Naruto was faster than anyone over the long haul (except Maito Gai and Rock Lee, of course), and Sakura was no slouch either, but Team 8 specialized in long-range reconnaissance missions.

Naturally this meant they had to be able to move, _fast_. Many of their assignments took them to the frontiers of Fire Country and beyond. As they grew more experienced, 'many' was slowly becoming 'most'. In those kinds of situations, the wisest option was usually a quick skirmish followed by running like hell, if they were spotted at all. They were very good at it, and didn't seem the least bit winded when the five met up.

"Good morning Naruto, Sakura," Aburame Shino said evenly. "We have been expecting you," he said politely. His reflective sunglasses flickered in the uneven light of the forest canopy.

"Ha! How late did you sleep in, Naruto? We've all but broken out the walkers and gone for a stroll while we were waitin' for you," Inuzaka Kiba offered with a sneer to Naruto. It was a good natured taunt, but Kiba had been nursing a healthy competitive grudge the fabled fart.

"Well I'm sorry Kiba-_chan_, but Ero-sennin demanded some last-minute training before this assignment," Naruto growled, masking his unhappiness that he had to keep his studies secret with his ongoing annoyance with his sensei.

"What, late night training? Did Jiraiya-sama work out some night-vision jutsu for peepin' at night?" Kiba asked immediately, eliciting a sigh from Naruto.

'_God, why does every man think the sun shines outta his ass?'_ he wondered. Perhaps it was true that the closer you got to a legendary figure, the less legendary they appeared. It certainly seemed true with the 'Gallant' Jiraiya. With the exceptions of Lee, Gai, and Shino, it seemed every male was a fan of Icha Icha. Not a few females for that matter, secretly of course. And those three hardly counted anyway, being exceptions to normative behavior almost as a rule.

"No, nothing like that. I'm sure if he did, though, you'd read about it real soon," Naruto pointed out. 

"You got that right! Jiraiya-sama is the best writer since…huh?" Kiba began, then raised his eyebrows and glanced downward, where Akamaru had growled something up at his partner from the forest floor. The enormous hound _could_ tree-run if he liked, but lacking thumbs he elected to thunder along on the ground. His pads liked the soft, cool dirt better than dry, flaky bark and moss anyway.

"Oh, right, sorry! Hinata, you were saying?" Kiba inquired with a tinge of embarrassment. He was usually very solicitous of his teammate, aware of the circumstances behind her reluctance to speak out, but talking about Jiraiya led to thinking about Jiraiya's _books_, which let Kiba get quite distracted! Fortunately Akamaru was there to keep him on his toes.

"Please don't apologize, Kiba-kun. I know you're a big fan," Hinata said in that quiet way of hers. She spoke in the very clinical, detached way of many women when discussing Jiraiya, a tone which artfully indicated disapproval without actually expressing disrespect towards such a legendary and heroic man as the Toad Sage, whatever his personal habits. "Good morning Sakura-san, Naruto-kun," she offered with a friendly smile.

"Howdy Hinata-chan!" Naruto replied with his usual wide grin. Naruto was a friend who always made sure to let people know he was glad to see them. "Don't be embarrassed. If you think that crusty old pervert is a twisted, alcoholic, lazy old deviant, why, just go ahead and say so! No need to respect Kiba-chan's feelings!" At this Naruto mimed licking his fingertip and putting a mark up on an imaginary scoreboard. Zing!

"Grr, why you little-"

Fortunately for everyone, Sakura chose that moment to intervene. Inuzaka Kiba was no coward, but his mother also didn't raise any fools. _He_ wasn't going to interrupt Haruno Sakura just for a silly squabble. Only Naruto made a habit of being so stupid.

"Good morning, Hinata-san," Sakura replied sweetly, speaking as though Naruto's little outburst hadn't happened. Hinata and Sakura were not enemies. However, they _did_ recognize in each other rivals of a sort. Perhaps for that reason the two still called each other by '-san' instead of something more familiar. Whatever the reason, though, their relationship remained as polite acquaintances and comrades, nothing more.

"Good morning to you too, Sakura-san," Hinata replied just as nicely, though without Sakura's unspoken threat to Naruto. Her stammer around Naruto had, after _much_ intense effort, finally been left by the wayside. At least, when she was expecting to see him, like she was now. Sometimes when she was startled by him, the stutter reared its ugly head. "I hope Jiraiya-sama didn't keep you up too late, Naruto-kun?"

As for Naruto, he simply didn't know _what_ to make of Hyuuga Hinata. Sure, he respected her; who wouldn't, given how hard she had plainly struggled to master her own fear for her cousin? And she didn't even hate the guy! Yes, he recognized she was as Ero-sennin would've said 'a looker', but Naruto had excellent training at the hands of Sakura in viewing women without perversion (at least, not where they could _see_ him!).

But there was all that weird stuff from back when they were kids together. She was always _looking_ at him, at least whenever he caught a glimpse of her in an unguarded moment, which wasn't often. At least it wasn't like _others _had stared, though. Other than that, she stood out only in the sense that she _didn't_ stand out. And the stammering, and the facial coloring! Hinata was as different from other would-be kunoichi as it was possible to be.

Unfortunately for Hinata, Naruto was not the sort of guy who spent a lot of time (or any time at all, really) thinking back on the past. If he were, the Naruto who returned from a two year training journey with Jiraiya, who was on his way to becoming well-read and maybe even sophisticated, might have looked back on the experiences of his childhood and realized something about her, but he wasn't. He was a forward-thinking sort of guy!

"Naw, I'm fine Hinata-chan," he replied with another smile. "Ero-sennin, see, he's so old and worn out, he needs his beauty sleep. Like, a hundred years worth. Right after his prune juice," he snickered. Naruto really let loose with the insults when his master (who did the same) wasn't around. That's just how they were, almost nothing about their master-apprentice relationship approached ordinary.

"That's…good to hear, Naruto-kun," she replied, a smile quirking her lips. Hinata wasn't the sort to approve of mocking a legend like Jiraiya, but that didn't stop her from thinking it was funny. "Did he teach you anything interesting, Nar-"

"We are approaching the border of the security zone," Shino reported in a bland tone. Sakura had been listening intently to the conversation (_'Just to make sure he doesn't spill about fuinjutsu,'_ she told herself), and Kiba had been seething, looking for a break in conversation to insert a barb. They all stopped talking and became more serious. Once they exited the dense, dangerous forests surrounding Konoha, vigilance was their responsibility and theirs alone.

"Right, OK," Naruto said with a faint smile. Even though he had traveled the area before, he always got a little excited to burst into bright sunshine and open terrain after the twilight shade of the forest. _"Kage bunshin no jutsu!"_ he chanted, fingers moving in his favorite seal, and there were four new Narutos leaping through the treetops. Only a hundred meters or so from the forest's edge, the quintet then stopped and hopped nimbly down to the ground to join Akamaru, who demanded and got happy greetings and petting from both Naruto and Sakura.

"_Henge!"_ whispered three of the clones along with the original. All of them turned into small, boring pebbles. "Here guys, carry these," the remaining shadow clone offered to his comrades. "A little surprise backup in case we run into trouble!" he gloated. In the event of a fight, the clone could either fight or dispel to transfer information. It wasn't nearly as good as the Aburame tracking technique, but still, it was something, and Naruto _loved_ surprises. "If we get split up and you're in trouble, drop me if you can so I can change into somethin' with eyes and see where we are, OK?"

Sakura quickly picked up the original, gave it a friendly squeeze, and stowed it in her pack. Hinata looked faintly disappointed, but only to Sakura since she had been expecting it. _'Sorry honey, but he's _my_ teammate! Ha!'_ Sakura might be taking a cautiously conservative approach, but as usual Inner-Sakura was quite clear on how _she_ felt.

The travelers made last-minute checks of their equipment and readiness. Kiba and Shino were done first, of course, the former having Akamaru to help and the latter having extraordinary self-awareness. The enormous hound and his partner tussled happily in the dirt and leaves, although their roles had switched from the old days when Kiba dwarfed his partner. Shino appeared to be meditating, though it was just as likely he was communing with his colonies.

That left Hinata and Sakura, Naruto being an oblivious pebble. They checked their kits first, and then Sakura went over her medical supplies. That's the life of a good combat medic: check, check, double-check, and just in case check again. No good medic _ever_ wanted to feel that moment of dread when they realized they were missing that vital bit of equipment, even if it wasn't their fault. Hinata's medical kit was less extensive, but she also checked the documents she was carrying, both ceremonial and practical. She bore messages from both the Hokage and her father to Lord Itakura and other important people.

This final verification didn't take long, and once Hinata and Sakura were done, the shinobi nodded to one another and headed out of the Konoha Security Zone into the wider world towards Sodegaura. They would arrive there in less than two days, but for diplomatic purposes would not openly enter until the day after their arrival. Their orders also included a surprise inspection if possible, diplomatic mission or not.

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Later that evening shortly before sunset, Naruto was doing an excellent impression of Rock Lee. Calisthenics, katas, and just running around turning flips and cartwheels were all part of his bizarre display. Kiba openly snickered and snorted, Akamaru groaned in a canine way and covered his eyes with his paws, and Hinata and Sakura studiously didn't pay any special attention to the pretty boy doing pretty things.

For Hinata this meant looking everywhere _but_ Naruto. This worked on the subject of her avoidance, but not on anyone else. For Sakura, it meant snickering right along with Kiba, but her barbs and comradely jeers weren't _quite_ as pointed and sharp as usual. In fact her commentary was pretty detailed.

Shino simply appeared to be meditating, but was probably debating deep philosophy with his insect tenants.

'_Oh to hell with them!'_ Naruto thought with a harrumph to himself, hearing Sakura and Kiba mock him again. It was tough spending hours and hours on end as a pebble! Unlike them, he hadn't moved all day! He needed to stretch his legs, damnit! Just to keep himself busy, he had gone the extra mile to really _be_ that little pebble; he could still sense chakra, but nothing had come up. He didn't even turn into a little frog to wriggle around or nothing. There just wasn't much for an oblivious pebble to do stuffed between syringes and bandages for so many hours.

Though he _did_ delight in how close he was to Sakura-chan's ass, before remembering that those weren't very pebbly thoughts and dropping them like, well, a rock.

"Naruto!" she barked in annoyance from the campsite, and he nearly fell over from where he was doing some stretches. Sure he was a shinobi and should've kept his balance, but Sakura just had that effect on him. All pretty, capable women did. He looked over anxiously.

"Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"If you're done making an ass out of yourself in new and exciting ways," Inner-Sakura leered a bit at that, "then get your butt over here. We've got to discuss our insertion into Sodegaura," she pointed out. Now that they were getting down to business, Inner-Sakura was mercifully silent.

"Right Sakura-chan! Sorry guys, it's just hard bein' a pebble!" he pointed out, trotting over and taking a seat in the grass. It took a moment, but he chuckled at his unintentional pun.

"Quite alright, Naruto," Shino said blandly. "Even my colonies will sometimes become weary of cramped spaces." Everyone wanted to wince at that just a bit, but carefully hid it so as not to give offense. They all liked and respected Shino, but the instinctive antagonism towards creepy-crawly insects ran deep. Mastering that instinct, Naruto quickly smiled and nodded at his comrade.

"Tsunade-sama has ordered us to conduct some reconnaissance of Sodegaura before we officially arrive," Hinata said. "But since the worst-case scenario is that Lord Itakura is a traitor in collusion with another shinobi nation, we have to be careful. Her orders to us at our briefing stated that it was vital our sneak-inspection go unnoticed. Does anyone have an idea how we can do this?" Hinata asked with some concern. Henge no jutsu was among the most basic shinobi techniques that also made it a skill many shinobi were well-equipped to defeat.

"Perhaps my insect clones might serve," Shino offered. This idea was rejected after discussion pointed out that, while different from henge, Shino's clones had special olfactory vulnerabilities. It was quite difficult for a massive swarm of insects to completely mask their scent.

"Akamaru'n'I can still do our beast cloning like it was in the old days, when Akamaru was small," Kiba pointed out while he rubbed down his partner, who was rumbling and groaning in contentment. But this too was rejected, because the Inuzaka clan was famous throughout Fire Country, and small dogs lurking where they shouldn't were not always considered innocuous.

Naruto was grinning and fidgeting in pride while these ideas were shot down, but he kept quiet. But Sakura and Hinata, both experienced Naruto-watchers (for one reason or another), knew something was up. "Ugh, what _is_ it, Naruto? Is Shino pranking you with ants in your pants again?" Sakura asked with an acid edge to her voice. This was serious business, and Naruto was screwing around! Again!

"I can do it, Sakura-chan," Naruto offered proudly. "My henge is unbeatable!" he exclaimed. "Also, I sure as hell know how t'get along better than you four as a plain old civilian," he said smugly.

"You wouldn't know plain if it jumped out and bit you in the ass, Naruto!" Kiba growled before Sakura could interject. Akamaru seemed to be snickering. Shino and Hinata looked intrigued.

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" Naruto asked slyly.

"No!" Sakura cut _that_ possibility off at once. Her experiences with Tsunade-shishou led her to shun gambling in the strongest possible terms. Besides, as she reminded herself earlier that day, people who bet against Naruto had a way of losing. "Just prove it, Naruto, and then we'll move on," she instructed her teammate.

"Right!" He jumped up and struck a pose, eliciting a wince in Hinata. She seemed both disappointed and a bit flustered; it was hardly the way to start off innocuous, but he had looked very nice doing it, and as usual remained oblivious to her reaction. Then he disappeared in a dramatic puff of smoke, causing Sakura to groan aloud.

"Oh, this'll be good," she said with a wince. "Hinata-san, cover your eyes, he's sure to come out a porn star or something," Sakura ground her teeth.

"A porn star, kunoichi-san? Out here? How _awful!_" an elderly artisan said as he walked out slowly from behind a nearby tree. The man was a brilliant imitation of an aging, stuffy craftsman of some sort. Clad plainly in work clothes, his appearance was as boring and ordinary as the blonde haired blue eyed Uzumaki Naruto's was exotic. Short, black haired, dark eyes, thin, walking with the slight care the elderly are prone to, their comrade stepped into the light and turned slowly to display himself without even a whiff of theatricality.

Only Hinata's Byakugan was able to defeat the deception, and even then only partially. To an Inuzaka's nose and an Aburame's insects, Naruto was now to all senses a man with more behind him than ahead, who had spent his life working with his hands building things and done moderately well at it. Even Sakura, who knew him very well and had a prodigy's grasp of chakra control, could not penetrate the technique, and none of them were able to tell by looking and listening that this man was not what he appeared to be.

"So are you kids satisfied?" the old man inquired with the slightly patronizing air that oldsters sometimes get when talking to youngsters.

"Naruto, how did you get so _good_ at that?" Sakura demanded, speaking for everyone.

"Naruto? Oh my, how the mind wanders! It happens when you get old, you'll find. Were we discussing ramen toppings?" the old-timer asked politely. "But to answer your question, I have heard that the great Jiraiya-sama did not become master of Konoha's foreign intelligence just because his old teacher was the Hokage," the senior explained.

"Well that clinches it for me," Kiba said shaking his head. "If that dumbass can refer to his teacher as Jiraiya-sama when everyone knows how much he loves to make fun of him, and fool _us_, he's our man." Akamaru was pacing around the old man sniffing with a comical tilt of confusion to his shaggy head.

Shino, Hinata, and Sakura quickly agreed. "You've got the job, Naruto," Sakura told him, and the old man nodded politely without even grinning.

Releasing the technique with barely a wisp of smoke, Naruto reappeared like the difference between night and day. His trademark squinty grin was back, and he rubbed the back of his head in satisfied embarrassment at the praise, just like usual. "Ero-sennin had me spend a lot time disguised, though not as _he_ would've liked," Naruto said with a scowl. His mentor had first demanded constant Sexy technique, only to be shut down in the strongest possible terms. "It really helped my shitty chakra control, so now I'm really good at it," he explained with pardonable pride.

"W-well then," Hinata continued and then paused. The shocking display of transformation genius had – for just the briefest of moments – brought the stammering Hinata back to life, with Naruto perched proudly on a pedestal high above. But the moment didn't last. Hinata who was ashamed of herself as a default position was gone. There were only so many life-or-death missions a person could undertake (and succeed without friends killed) before you just couldn't consider yourself a failure any longer.

Still, it was rare indeed that someone could use chakra in a way that even partially defeated Byakugan. She would have to consider that very carefully in the future. "Well then, obviously Naruto will be our spy," Hinata said. She was in charge of the mission, given its diplomatic tenor, though for issues like these she shared authority to an extent. "How should he get into Sodegaura and what should he try and discover?" 

"Ah-ah-ahh, Hinata-chan," Naruto chided with a grin, shaking a finger at her. Kiba rolled his eyes. "You leave that to me. Since the biggest requirement is a low profile, and we'll be there for at least a few days, I can't do something _really_ sneaky, like whang an officer on the head and take his place. But I can still learn at lot, at least get a feel for the pulse of the city. You'd be surprised what you can learn if you're looking at trivial details with big-picture eyes," he explained. He was quoting Ero-sennin, but none of the others had to know that, did they?

"Well then Naruto-_sama_," Sakura said with a warning grin. _'He's getting a swelled head again!'_ she thought to herself, determined to keep her rambunctious and reckless teammate under control. It was almost comforting to see _this_ Naruto again, after the surprises of fuinjutsu and henge mastery. "Please, if you can spare the time, brief us on your plans."

"Eh-heh heh heh," Naruto grinned looking almost queasy. He knew what _that _look on Sakura-chan's face meant: that he'd screwed up again and was cruising for some serious bruising if he didn't shape up. Although he was still proud of himself and his espionage skill, he ceased rubbing everyone's faces in it, sat back down, and explained his strategy to them.

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Story Statistics:

Released: 3-15-08

Word Count: Approx. 6200

Reviews: 46 (Big jump! Thanks a bunch, guys! And most especially mrriddler, y'all should check out his story ASAP. You Hinata-fans out there (and I'm one too) are helping me get back into the spirit of Hyuuga Hinata, although I'm no longer committed to _any_ pairing yet)

Hits: 4505 (242 for the previous chapter)

Favs: 21

C2s: 9  
Alerts: 30

Author's Notes: Howdy! Like I said, I'm quite happy that I was able to complete this installment so (relatively) quickly. I've had some help from people such as mrriddler, who can tell you I'm quite happy to pander to readers if they make their case right, heh.

I don't really understand stories that have Hinata unchanging in the time skip. It's a bit baffling to me, but perhaps it makes sense in canon considering that from appearances, _Naruto_ certainly hasn't changed very much./annoyed

I've also decided firmly on this story's setting in canon timeline, although of course I reserve the right to change it later, heh. It takes place shortly after Hidan and Kakuzu are killed (or at least indefinitely incapacitated) by Shikamaru and others. The things which happen in canon shortly after that, don't assume they're happening in this story.

In this chapter, I've also outlined another one of Naruto's unexpected (to his comrades) specialties: espionage. So here we've got a kid who shows remarkable abilities in fooling others(hiding his pain and anger at loneliness and bitter looks), is the last person anyone would suspect, _and_ he's off training for a long time with the Sannin specializing in espionage among other things? The conclusion seems obvious.

The Toad clan will be making a reappearance again soon, probably in the next chapter, with Maaya maybe showing up again as well. Some people have expressed a lot of liking for those guys, which makes me quite happy. I hope everyone likes where this story is going, and looks forward to the next installment!

Oh, as mrriddler pointed out, this story does seem to be lacking a big purpose. It _is_ sort of directionless in the sense that there's not one big, huge goal of the plot. At least, not obviously anyway. I'm thankful to my readers for bearing with the story despite these flaws. Rest assured that there _is_, it's just that the story's premise-about how Naruto changes hearts and minds-takes time. Other things, such as dealing with Akatsuki, Sasuke, Kyuubi, Sakura/Hinata/Maaya, they'll all come within that framework. I'm trying lately to give the story more focus, though. Lemme know what you think.


	11. Chapter 8: There's a fly in my ramen!

Author's note on timeline:

Naruto's mission to Wakaga, lasting about 16-24 hours.

Naruto and Sakura get assignment to Sodegaura, and leave in the morning

Team 8 and the partial Team 7 travel to Sodegaura, arriving two days after leaving.

'Baker's Street Irregulars'

The next day, the whole group enters Sodegaura officially.

4-5 are the times this story takes place.

I have a feeling I may've gotten my timing mixed up, either here or in past chapters; if someone sees that, please let me know.

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**EYES-ONLY CLASSIFIED  
**

_Acquisitions Research Department_

_Konohagakure, Land of Fire_

_ April 12, --  
_

_From: Morino Ibiki_

_Subject: Akatsuki remains and effects_

_Priority: Critical_

_To: Hokage, Council, ANBU_

_Hokage-sama, Councilors, ANBU personnel:_

_The purpose of this preliminary report is to share our findings on the Akatsuki members known as Hidan and Kakuzu and in particular their rings. Research is still ongoing, but so far promises very good news for Konoha._

_The origins of Hidan remain unclear. Our research and espionage departments have turned up very little beyond the reports of those who fought him. It appears he was a missing-nin from Rain, in addition to being an itinerant priest of the 'Jashin' religion, whose theology is just what it sounds like. He claimed immortality, but he was defeated. To preserve security, Shukaku-sama has asked that we not inquire further into the remains of this 'immortal', and the Hokage has agreed. Outside the Nara clan, she is the only person to know the location of Hidan's remains. However we were given a hand that still bore one of the Akatsuki rings. (see: cadaver research department for details on Hidan's hand)_

_Kakuzu's background is less shrouded in mystery. A missing-nin from Takigakure, intelligence suggests he was Akatsuki's financier. While Hidan appears to be one of the newer additions, Kakuzu seems to have been with Akatsuki for much longer. His was a more 'public' face to the organization than many of its other members, being known for claiming all sorts of expensive bounties at regular intervals. No known ideology or motive behind his bounty targets is clear. (see: cadaver research department and experimental medicine department for details on Kakuzu's remains)_

_Now to the rings they carried. At first the rings seemed ornamental, like their bamboo hat and red cloud cloak 'uniform'. But it quickly became clear that they served a more practical purpose. It was discovered that the rings were crafted of an unknown metal. However, this metal _does_ have properties of special chakra-conducting materials. Research has also shown that both rings carry special seals, and that each is slightly different._

_They are being kept in secure, isolated storage in case they are trapped, but we are taking all precautions to guard against any risk. Akatsuki knows of our victory, so it is likely that any traps would have been triggered by now._

_Each ring varies in size, shape, density, chakra conductivity, and fuinjutsu. Our experts deem them masterpieces of craftsmanship on all counts. To be accurate, they tax our abilities to evaluate on our own. Our finest craftsmen and researchers have made these rings their priority, those with ample security clearance. Jiraiya-sama has devoted considerable time to studying the seals these rings bear. We face a shortage of personnel skilled enough to effectively evaluate them, but steps are being taken to address this deficiency._

_I consider it highly likely that these rings are of vital importance to Akatsuki's bijuu extraction ritual. Very little is known of Akatsuki's method, but all our knowledge suggests that capturing a bijuu of any power has a high chance of killing or maiming anyone involved. Research from Sunagakure supports belief. Yet according to our sources, Akatsuki has managed to capture jinchuuriki and transfer their bijuu, or capture free bijuu and imprison them, not once but several times without a casualty, aside from the jinchuuriki themselves who universally died._

_Therefore since Akatsuki's most urgent mission is to capture the bijuu – for reasons still unclear – it is highly probable that these rings are necessary or at least very important to this ritual. This probability is supported by reports from Jiraiya-sama's sources which indicate that the Kazekage's extraction ritual took much longer than previous efforts. The only difference we have noticed between this event and previous extractions is Orochimaru's absence, and the absence of his ring._

_It is beyond the scope of this preliminary report, but according to the evidence I have reviewed I think it likely that Akatsuki's focus will by necessity shift away from jinchuuriki until such time as they can either recover the two rings we have captured, or craft replacements. We cannot be certain that neither Hidan or Kakuzu were the artisans responsible for their creation, but in any case such masterpieces will take time to recreate._

-->--> _**Metallurgical reports on Akatsuki rings **_-->-->

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"So what's the word on elbow room, Sarge?" a young soldier asked of a grizzled veteran. The kid was fresh from the pastures in Itakura's fief. Other guards perked up around the table and listened closely, while still devouring their meal. Guards were always hungry.

"Well as a matter of fact I _did_ hear some interesting news about that, rookie," the Sergeant said with the air of a man about to repeat some really juicy gossip. "I heard it last night over my usual shogi game with Lord Itakura…" he trailed off, and the kid blushed furiously and hunched down at the laughter of his comrades. The Sergeant grinned and cuffed him lightly on the head. "Geeze, kid, I just a guard, y'know. A much better guard than _you_ of course, and _definitely_ your boss," he smiled faintly to take the sting out of it, "but just a guard. The brass don't keep me in the loop."

The chatter continued while the guards devoured their bland but nourishing breakfast of rice, fish, and cup after cup of hot, strong tea. Women and griping about the leadership were the biggest topics, but the conversation was good-natured. No one was really dissatisfied with their lot in Sodegaura, and aside from the guards all being a bit cramped on account of all the new guys, nothing was happening that bothered them. News from the capital was boring (always a good thing), the economy was good, and Fire Country's new Hokage appeared to have resurrected the nation's elite military from the brink of destruction.

Before long the guards finished their breakfast and quickly cleared out of the barracks. The scullery maids moved in, clucking in resignation at the mess the guards left. The eldest was a stern woman who'd been working hard at keeping Sodegaura's guardsmen fed, watered, and bedded cleanly for over thirty years. She directed her younger coworkers in their efforts.

"Hurry up ladies, we're short handed as it is and the night watch will be here in under half an hour," she pointed from her spot in the corner of the room. An elderly woman, she was in fact too old to keep up with the youngsters anymore, so she supervised. For a long time it had been a semi-retirement, but recently her expertise had become more valuable.

"Gosh, I wish the bosses would free up some coin and hire us some more help," one of the scullery maids grumbled while she bussed the table. Other women mumbled in agreement.

"Well girls, it's a hard thing being assigned extra barracks to clean but that's our lot and no mistake. I'm not happy about it either, but we'll just have to make do," the supervisor told them. There was more grumbling at that, but the supervisor had a reputation as a very hard worker, so the chiding was tolerated. She'd worked back during the wars, when things were _really_ tight; she'd worked for years without pay back then, so she was respected now.

Within a matter of minutes the commissary was cleaned up and restocked with all the things a hungry troop of guards would need. The scullery maids whisked back into their own areas of the barracks to gather up their equipment for the day. One, though, held back and easily avoided the watchful eye of the supervisor. A very plain looking woman who had inserted herself into the flow of the chores with the ease of an experienced servant, her presence had not been commented upon in the rush of work.

She had excellent hearing for a servant, and a look of regret passed over her face unseen as her coworkers disappeared through the door to continue their work. The supervisor had been a woman after her own heart, a leader in her way, even though hers was a relatively unimportant position. _'Still, it's not like I can stick around, no matter how short they are.'_ It was too bad, really. One hour of her work and the scullery maids could take a much-needed day off. With that thought, the newcomer disappeared around a corner and out the door.

A scruffy, filthy, very poor child hurried on into the city fleeing jeers and angry shouts. Street rats were quickly chased out of the respectable districts of Sodegaura.

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"Comin' down!" the filthy man bellowed down the small, short tunnel.

"Comin' down!" a faint voice called back from far down the hole.

The first man, a foreman filthy from the dusty air, pulled a lever and a series of small carts trundled down into the mine. Men rode them crouching low to avoid the very short ceiling. They carried tools, food, and equipment for the other miners and themselves, and they disappeared into the mine's darkness quickly.

"Alright kid, what'd you say your father's name was?" the foreman asked of a small child who had been waiting patiently for a free moment. The supervisor was a kind fellow, but was very busy and needed to get the brat out of his hair.

"Nigawa Fujita, sir. My mom sent me to come find him to give him a note," said the child. He held up a grubby slip of paper earnestly.

"Sorry little guy, I don't have any Fujitas on my crew. You should try some of the other foreman, they'll know where your dad is," he said kindly. The kid looked upset, so the news must be bad. Fortunately the guy didn't work on _his_ crew; the supervisor could not afford a distracted miner, not right now.

"But…where are they? How should I get there?" The kid's lower lip wobbled and he looked frightened. The supervisor took another look around the area, swarming with miners, equipment, and buildings. The mines on Sodegaura's mountainous outskirts were new and hastily assembled; the area was almost a shantytown.

After a moment the foreman decided to take pity on the little kid. Many of the miners were desperately poor, and their families lived with the threat of ruin every single day. Even children as young as this one learned quickly how precarious their situations were. They all had to grow up fast, like this little kid, just a year or so too young to start mining himself. _'Maybe it's good news,'_ the foreman thought, but not with much hope.

"Alright, listen carefully and I'll tell you where to go. Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut and you'll be fine. It's not really dangerous topside, but we're all very busy, and I don't want some snot nose running into things and slowing us down. Got it?" he asked sternly. The child nodded at once, keeping quiet.

The supervisor then went on to give him careful instructions on how to find the other supervisors, as well as their names and how many miners worked for them. He suggested that the kid, whose name he didn't particularly care to find out, try the supervisors responsible for the largest crews in hopes of finding his father sooner. The kid nodded with such wide-eyed innocent enthusiasm that the supervisor had to remind himself to get back to work. Miners saw a lot of death, so hard hearts were necessary.

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"I can't say _what's_ going on in Sodegaura, but something is definitely up," Naruto growled. He had returned to the rendezvous point to meet up with Shino a short ways (for a shinobi) outside the city in the surrounding forest, and then to their campsite.

"Could you be more specific, Naruto?" Shino asked. From the way the Aburame leaned forward just a little, it was clear he was very interested in Naruto's report. Along with Akamaru, his insects were patrolling the area; the Konoha nin felt secure enough to talk while they all ate together. Naruto was devouring salted fish and dried fruit as thoroughly as ramen, minus the enthusiasm. He hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and the sun was now low in the sky.

"Sure, sure, Aw'm gettin' to that, Shino," Naruto said through another mouthful. He wiped his mouth after a long drink from his canteen. "For starters there are more guards in Sodegaura than there were under the late Lord Itakura. Conscription's up, shifts are longer, and many of the guard companies have had their time off cut back as well," he reported in a serious, almost grim voice. It was a surprising, even ominous development; such a buildup almost certainly meant the powers that be in Sodegaura expected to need more security, but for what?

"More disturbing than that is the fact that this buildup started months ago, but Konoha didn't know about it," Naruto went on. He glanced at Team 8 to confirm that they hadn't simply neglected to pass that information on from their more thorough briefing; he didn't expect it – they were all professionals – but it paid to double check. Everyone sat up straighter at hearing of this intelligence failure. "But in Konoha's defense, this buildup has been very gradual, and from what I could tell the guard companies aren't actually being used for anything alarming. Still, something to keep an eye on," he concluded.

"No kidding, Naruto. What else ya got?" Kiba inquired brusquely. He didn't want to appear _too_ solicitous, though the truth was he was pretty impressed. Naruto had learned more than they had expected already.

"Something strange. There's a great deal of mining going on just outside Sodegaura, but they're just digging so far. Nothing's come up yet except dirt and rock, at least nothing big; it would be impossible to hide a rich strike of any kind given the location. There's a lot of new blood in town to shore up the mining crews, and they're working day and night," he gestured towards the city and the sprawl on its outskirts. According to their briefing, that was new, too.

Naruto's report went on for a little while longer, but there were no more surprises. As far as the people knew, the favorites at Lord Itakura's court hadn't changed. Furthermore there was no trouble from the border and the economy was good, so everyone was willing to give the new Lord Itakura time to grow into his father's shoes. Given how ordinary everything else seemed, the Konoha envoy felt lucky to have Naruto's report.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun, that's excellent work," Hinata said with a smile. She was very impressed and would like to have been more effusive in her praise, but business came first. Long-term infatuation or not, Hinata was a professional too, and the mission came first. "It would look bad for Konoha to go into this meeting not knowing some of Itakura's secrets." Hidden villages, paranoid and espionage-prone societies all, were expected to know more than they should.

"You're welcome. I _could've _found out more, but mission parameters wouldn't allow it," he pouted slightly. His report made, Naruto reverted back somewhat to the happy-go-lucky fellow they were familiar with.

'_Also, most of the people who have a shot at defeating my transformation are related to you three,'_ he thought with a glance at Team 8. But he had learned discretion, and didn't say so; Aburame, Hyuuga, and Inuzaka were quite loyal to Konoha, as well all the clans.

"Right, right, Naruto," Sakura gave him a slight shove on the arm. "But the rest of us need to earn our pay on this one too, _right?_" she asked with a look. Since Naruto's return, she had gotten better and better at giving warnings _without_ corporal punishment.

Naruto winced and grinned, shrugging guilelessly. "It's not like I can heal anyone, or keep the stuffed shirts calm while we investigate, or track someone over rock through a flood," he said with respectful glances at the rest of his comrades. _'Besides, she's got a point. I can only guarantee stealth on a day's notice in low-importance areas. If this Itakura guy is really a traitor, though, he'll have counter-intelligence specialists on the lookout for spies. I can't go in half-cocked against that. There's always someone better.'_ He never _said_ it, but Jiraiya had pounded that truism into his brain. He consoled himself with the thought that 'better' did not equal 'unbeatable'.

Hinata's smile seemed a bit strained, but she nodded. "Thank you, Naruto-kun." _'Is that all you think I'm good for?'_ But Hinata was an expert at keeping her hopes up when it came to him; she reasoned that he didn't mean that was _all_ she could do (or Kiba-kun or Shino-kun, for that matter), but it still stung a bit to be trivialized by someone you looked up to. "Unless anyone else has anything to add, could either you or Shino-kun send your report?"

Naruto shrugged and glanced at his stoic comrade. "I can use my companions for messages, but it will deplete my reserves to an extent. It would be better if Naruto could call on the Toad Clan for courier duties," Shino stated with his usual impeccable logic. If Shino used his insects, he would be depleted until they returned; if Naruto used a Toad summon, he would only have lost that particular summon once he recovered the slight chakra needed to call it.

He wasn't the only one with a summoning contract, of course, but slugs just weren't as good for this sort of thing.

"Sure thing, Shino," Naruto replied. Remaining seated, he ran a thumb over a sharp incisor then intoned _"Kuchiyose no jutsu!" _and a small toad appeared. Standing only a little taller than Naruto's ankle, it cocked its small head up and waved at the summoner.

"Howdy boss! What's up? Need a message run deep through enemy lines? A vital communiqué of military secrets from Otogakure? Hide a treasure map? Huh, huh, what?" a perky, childish male voice inquired eagerly. The orange and blue toad hopped up onto Naruto's knee and thumped his leg with a small but powerful foot.

"Hi Gamakichi!" Sakura waved with a smile. Naruto's friends the Toad Clan were usually fun, though often quite inappropriate.

The small toad puffed up his throat proudly, while Naruto and Akamaru glanced at Sakura strangely. "Ummm, Sakura-chan, that ain't Gamakichi. He's _way_ bigger than this runt now," he said, holding up a hand about head high. Akamaru rumbled his agreement; nin animals and summon animals often knew each other pretty well, being peers of a sort.

"I _told_ ya I looked like Gamakichi-niisan!" the small toad declared with a ribbit.

"Well of course you do, idiot, he's your brother! And not from another mother like Gamatatsu, either!" Naruto growled at the peppy toad. "Sakura-chan, everyone, this is Gamadaichiko. He got the name, believe it or not, because he was actually a very big tadpole. But the little squirt doesn't think that name is cool enough, so he only answers to Gamasaru," he said with a roll of the eyes.

"That's right boss! And when did I ever let ya down, I ask you?" the small toad demanded rudely.

"You mean aside from _right this very second?_" Naruto growled. His hand twitched, but he knew better than to bop the toad; he'd just have to summon him again. "Look, just forget it. Yes, we need you for courier work. Usual deal, after you've had time to arrive I'll summon you again to check for a reply. This one's important, so make sure you book it. Now, Hinata-chan'll have your message, so bother her about it, not me. Got it?"

"You got it, boss! Hey, I really _am_ workin' for a princess this time, or at least nobility! Ha, wait'll the guys hear bout this!" he ribbited in pride when he hopped closer to Hinata. The Toad clan, with its long association with Konohagakure, knew quite a lot about Konoha for a family of mystical toads, so Gamasaru knew the Hyuuga Heir when he saw her. Hinata flushed slightly at the compliment; coming from one of Naruto's toads was actually kind of close to coming from Naruto himself, or at least that's what she told herself. Fortunately she didn't realize Gamasaru was very easy to impress. She spoke quietly with him for a few moments.

"Geeze, Naruto, your toad summons are bigger dorks than _you_ are!" Sakura huffed. She looked almost annoyed at the way the little toad fawned on Hinata.

"Neh, Sakura, is that even _possible_?" Kiba asked with a smirk. She shrugged with a smile then glared at Naruto.

_'Wonder what that's about? Probably just annoyed she mistook him for Gamakichi. Heh, what a silly mistake! Come to think of it, I wonder if she's feeling alright? She's been actin' a little squirrelly since we met up with Team 8. I'll ask her about it later,'_ he decided.

"Now remember boss, if I do this job right, you gotta call me out more, OK?" Gamasaru, demanded after quickly memorizing Hinata's message.

"Yeah, yeah, but the more time you spend gabbin' at me when you should get to hoppin' the less likely that is!" Naruto pointed out with another glare. _'Ugh, why does he have to be so obnoxious? _I_ was never that bad, was I?'_ Naruto groaned to himself. Fortunately for his pride, he didn't ask that question aloud.

"Oh, right, yeah! I gotta go! Later boss, Akamaru-sempai, Hinata-hime!" the little guy called out with a wave before hopping away at surprising speed. Those hops were deceptively short, and the Toad clan had special ways and hidden paths of travel that really sped things up.

"Hey, what are we, chopped liver?" Sakura demanded, just barely remembering to include Shino and Kiba in her complaint. _'Snotty little toad! He's lucky I don't fry up those stubby legs of his!'_ Inner-Sakura growled.

Kiba _could_ have pointed out nin-animals and summons had pretty peculiar behavior and not to take the slight personally, but he was having too much fun watching Naruto squirm.

"Eh-heh heh, sorry Sakura-chan. He's just never met you before, and he's pretty excitable. I kinda forgot to remind him to be polite, cause I like to get him outta my hair as quickly as I can. He's kind of a pain," he explained nervously. If there was one thing Sakura-chan disliked almost as much as perversion, it was being ignored.

She settled down at the apology, but muttered something about summoned animals being a lot like their summoners. Even Naruto was socially aware enough not to point out what _she_ summoned. "Unless there's anything else, I think I'll get some sleep," Hinata said after Sakura's mumbling, deflecting a potential explosion. She was not nearly as fearful as she had been in the past, but still preferred to avoid confrontation where possible.

Sakura nodded agreement, and the two women went together to their side of the campsite. "Good night boys!" she said amiably to Shino, Naruto, and Kiba, her annoyance forgotten. They waved back their goodnights, with Naruto farewell of course the loudest.

"Say Shino, how bout a spar? Nothing serious, just taijutsu. I could use the workout," Naruto asked. He all but slapped his hands together and prayed for it.

"Thank you Naruto, no. Unlike you, I've been running all day. It would not do for me to be at less than peak efficiency in the morning," Shino shook his head.

"Damn. How bout you, dog-breath?" Naruto asked with smirk, hoping to goad his comrade into a fight. It was more fun to spar with Kiba, but often more instructive to spar with Shino. Shino _never_ fought or even practiced with anything less than his technical best.

"Weren't you listening to Shino, noodle brain?" Kiba retorted. "_Some_ of us had to work all day yesterday and again tomorrow," he said sourly and a little unfairly. Although he made the trip to Sodegaura with relative ease, using shadow clones as guards while remaining transformed as a pebble, he'd put in a hard day's work of intelligence-gathering when they reached the outskirts of the city a day before their official arrival.

"Oh fine, go to sleep then. I hope you have a nightmare where the bone you buried is missing," Naruto sneered. Despite their jibes, the two slapped each other on the shoulder before Kiba bedded down. Naruto decided to stay up for a little while, and see how Gamakichi was doing while commiserating with the older toad about how foolish Gamasaru was.

A short while later he lay down to sleep for a few hours, knowing that Shino would be sure to wake him for his watch, the last. But before he did, Naruto created one last shadow clone whose job was only to concentrate while Naruto slipped off to sleep and try to remain corporeal. It had never worked before, in dozens of experiments; in fact it had never even come _close_ to working, had jarred Naruto up to full wakefulness the instant the clone dispelled, but still, a little pain and discomfort never stopped him before. Who knows? Maybe someday he'd become a truly twenty-four seven ninja.

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"Lady Hyuuga Hinata of the Hyuuga clan, Clan Heir, chuunin of Konohagakure, and citizen of Hi no Kuni," one of the court's protocol officials announced. Clad in formal kimono, Hinata stepped beside and slightly in front of her teammates. It might have surprised some, but she bore the scores of eyes on her without flinch or blush. Diplomacy and its trappings were another fear she had overcome, though it had been difficult.

"Inuzuka Kiba-san of the Inuzuka clan, chuunin of Konohagakure, and citizen of Hi no Kuni," the same official announced, though with less fanfare. Kiba strode confidently further into the audience hall, uncaring of any eyes upon him unless they belonged to an attractive woman. Those he smiled at pointedly, but otherwise did not put a foot out of place. Like Shino, he was dressed normally though wearing a clean uniform. Arriving casually garbed was a carefully calculated diplomatic gesture, a veiled expression of disapproval sure to be recognized by everyone present without being an overt insult.

"Aburame Shino-san of the Aburame clan, jounin of Konohagakure, and citizen of Hi no Kuni," the man said finally. His announcement did not disgrace Sodegaura by any inflection or stammer, but there was a bit of awkward murmuring amongst the courtiers. No pretty women that anyone noticed winked _Shino's_ way, but the quality of Lord Itakura's more powerful nobles remained to be seen; in any event Shino did not seem in the least concerned, even though he was the heir to the Aburame clan.

When Team 8 minus Akamaru (even Kiba had to bend to diplomatic protocols in some things, though his partner was _not_ housed in the kennels) reached the lord's seat, they found a small, dainty looking young man clad more formally than Hinata, almost opulently in fact. He smiled politely, but their shinobi training quickly saw through the pretense of a man annoyed at having to hold this meeting. He hid it well, for a civilian; not well at all for an aristocrat who could expect to have dealings with shinobi.

"On behalf of Sodegaura and my family, please allow me to bid you welcome, shinobi of Konoha," the young Lord Itakura stood up to his full elegant height. "We are doubly fortunate, to be so honored and blessed by your presence." He returned Team 8's bows with the respect due an honored servant instead of a visiting dignitary.

"On behalf of Konohagakure and our families, I am honored to accept your welcome, Itakura-sama," Hinata replied with the courteous sweetness appropriate to her political position. She didn't reply, verbally or otherwise, to Lord Itakura's jockeying for position. It was true that he was their superior of a sort, but _no_ shinobi of Konoha was his servant, much less the Clan Heir of Hyuuga. Kiba and Shino did not speak, and some of their host's administrators seemed displeased at that.

"Well now that that's out of the way, please, accompany my ministers and I into private session that we may discuss issues of importance discreetly. I am sure you bear messages for some of my cabinet, and we are eager to hear more from our friends in Konoha," Lord Itakura said. His smile slipped a little, almost to the level a civilian would see through it.

_'We have big problems,'_ Hinata thought to herself grimly as Team 8 stepped out of the audience chamber into the offices of the Lord of Sodegaura.

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"How d'you think it's goin' Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked for the fourth time in less than half an hour. The group from Konoha had (officially) arrived early that morning in Sodegaura. They were greeted warmly without seeing any signs increased security, though from Naruto's report they must be somewhere. Team 8 was given an hour to cleanse themselves after their long journey in large luxurious suites for visiting dignitaries. Team 7 was politely shuffled off to adjoining chambers, much smaller and appropriate to bodyguards instead of VIPs.

Sakura had been expecting that, but that didn't mean she _liked_ it. Her mood had not improved by spending hours cooped up with a very bored Naruto. She loved him like a brother (or _not _like a brother, depending on which Sakura you asked), but few things were more annoying than a bored Naruto in a confined space.

"Well Naruto, I'll bet it's going lots better now than when you asked me less than ten minutes ago. _Again_. In fact, I'll just bet Team 8 already completed our mission, and we'll be able to go fight some monsters or something!" No medical texts to study, no patients to treat, no boulders to turn to gravel, it's not like _she_ was thrilled either!

Naruto winced. "Sorry Sakura-chan, I don't mean to bitch so much. It's just that there's only so many minutes I can sit in this dressed up waiting room before I get bored, y'know?" To be fair to Naruto, there was no ramen, no one to spar with, he couldn't study fuinjutsu here, nothing to do but pretend to be just an ordinary annoying and bored chuunin for any potential observers.

Sakura knew how he felt. It had already been hours since Team 8 had parted ways with them, but in spite (or maybe because of) their extensive experience in waiting, the two shinobi were on the way to stir-crazy. The pair had decided outside the city that when this happened, they would ham it up a bit to appear less competent. Giving off an impatient teenager vibe might get observers to underestimate them, in spite of their relatively fearsome reputation.

It was one of the easier cons Team 7 pulled.

"Say Sakura-chan, umm..." Naruto trailed off awkwardly.

"Yes?" she said curiously; she could tell he wasn't just being a pest. Naruto wasn't often reluctant to talk to her.

"Listen, tell me if I'm wrong here, but these past few days it seems like you've been acting kinda strange, y'know?" He _was_ reluctant to speak, but he managed to get it out.

"I have, huh?" Her expression was both anxious and pained. "Yeah, I guess you're right," she paused uncertainly.

"It's not cause I didn't tell you about what I was studying, was it? I would've told you sooner, it's just…y'know, orders." He smiled tightly; it was the only thing he could think of, since she had begun behaving oddly the morning they left Konoha.

"Naruto, _don't_ smile at me like that. I hate it," Sakura scowled, annoyance thick in her voice. At his stricken expression her face softened. "You know what I mean! I mean that fake smile. You're really good at it, but I've seen it too many times to be fooled, OK?" _'And ashamed it fooled me for so long.'_

"So…you're not mad?" Naruto asked uncertainly. Stripped of his pain-hiding grin, his expression was very young and open, vulnerable.

"No!" She couldn't stand her teammate looking at her that way. "If anything I'm mad you told me at all, breaking security like that. Why _did_ you tell me then, anyway?"

"Well…I hate keeping secrets," he rubbed his stomach with a grimace. "It was one thing not telling you about studying fuinjutsu before, because you never asked. Why would you?" He didn't notice the squeamish expression on her face at that. "But…well, to _actively_ lie to you about it, I just couldn't do it. I felt awful just thinking about it. Secrets like that…" _'If you'd told Sasuke about Kyuubi, if he knew about it all along, maybe he wouldn't felt weak and run to Orochimaru-teme, right Naruto, you loser? Your fault he left and your fault for not stopping him!'_ It took an act of will to stamp those thoughts out; they never changed anything, even though they were true, and it never stopped feeling so horrible.

"Keeping secrets like that from your precious people, it never ends well," he said after a long moment.

Sakura's hand twitched in hesitation. Her face twisted with confusion and sadness before becoming resolute. She placed her scarred palm down on Naruto's hand. _'Not so much as a scratch on him,'_ she thought with wonder as she frequently did of her teammate's unblemished body. In the shinobi world, not only was scarring commonplace, many shinobi made their scars a fundamental piece of their image, such as Kakashi and Ibiki.

"I don't blame you for keeping your secrets, Naruto. In fact I'm grateful you shared them with me at all," she said quietly. Kyuubi was noteworthy by his absence in her words. "And you're right, I _have_ been acting strange. I'm sorry about that, I promise it's not because you did anything wrong," she said quickly.

"Then why? What's bothering you?" The reluctance was gone, replaced with immediate concern. Few have ever worried more about their friends than Uzumaki Naruto.

"It's…embarrassing. No, shameful," Sakura admitted slowly. "But so many times in the past when you've done something surprising – and it's happened a lot – I've felt shocked. _Shocked_. I shouldn't feel that way, because it means there's some part of me that still thinks you're just a stupid kid, and you're not. You're _not_," she said fiercely to his uncertain look. "It reminds me of all the times I used to treat you like shit just because I didn't know any better and couldn't be bothered to learn. I'd say I'm sorry, and I _am_, I really am, but it's just not enough. I remember when it started happening to me, when he…" she didn't say his name, "…would look at me like I was nothing, like I was a waste, and it hurt. A lot. But you weren't ever like that to me, even though I was to you, and I can't ask you to forgive me for acting like it," Sakura concluded. She wasn't crying and neither was he, but their faces were sad and their expressions tightly controlled. Neither moved or spoke.

"Sakura-chan, I can't accept your apology," Naruto said quietly a after a long pause. Before she could really absorb that he went on. "You can't apologize because I've already forgiven you," he pointed out with a wide, happy smile; a real one this time. "We were all just kids back then; we didn't know any better, none of us. We all made mistakes. If we'd all known to look underneath the underneath sooner, maybe things would've been different, but we didn't. But we do better now, don't we Sakura-chan? We're not making the same mistakes. We learn and we get better. You've got nothing to apologize for. I understand what you're saying, it's just regret is all. Well, if there's one thing I ever learned, it's that regret is never satisfying; it never goes away if you think about it. The only cure is change. And we've changed. So stop thinking you're treating me bad, because you've got nothing to feel ashamed of. Anyone who says otherwise can play hide and go fuck themselves for all I care!" he thumped his chest for emphasis.

Inner-Sakura got such a kick out of that that abrupt profane expression that, for once, she wouldn't be restrained. Sneaking in under cover of Sakura's gratitude and relief, the medic cracked a smile and then stilled her face with an effort, all the muscles in her face taut. A snort escaped her lips and her face scrunched up again. A mischievous grin stole over Naruto's face and he darted behind a cabinet. He peeked out, an exaggeration of a perverted leer on his face, looked around carefully, and then disappeared behind the cabinet and then started grunting and moaning loudly in a ridiculous impression of someone having sex.

"Bwa-hahahahaha!" Sakura cried out after unsuccessfully stopping the laughter by slapping a hand over her mouth. "I…you…hide and…oh, geeze, hide and go...hahahahaha!" she hiccupped in between giggles, eyes watering with mirth. Standing up after a _very_ brief time behind the cabinet, Naruto stretched and grinned with great satisfaction, then yawned heavily and mimed going to sleep. For almost another full minute his teammate laughed and laughed while Naruto grinned happily, eyes shut in contentment.

"Oh, geeze, Naruto," Sakura said breathlessly in the way of people just getting over a giggle-fit, "That was...heh…I'll let you get away with that _this_ time," she plastered a scowl on her face, brandishing a fist, "But no more of those perverted jokes and mime shows, got it?" she demanded.

He quailed comically under the threat and nodded. "Of course Sakura-chan! It was a one-time thing, honest!" he swore with wide-eyed sincerity that fooled neither of them. Jokes, pranks, and maneuvers to get more training and ramen were areas where Naruto was as reliably duplicitous as Kakashi was about tardiness.

"And Naruto? Thanks," she said gratefully

"Anytime Sakura-chan. Remember what I said. Don't feel bad about the past. You're the doctor, but _I'm_ the future Hokage, remember! I know what I'm talking about!" he crowed proudly. Sakura smiled fondly and the moment lengthened, growing awkward once more.

Fortunately for their delicate adolescent pride, further touchy-feely moments were put off by the return of Team 8. Kiba barged in like he owned the place with Hinata and Shino following close behind. Gamakichi, ad hoc door sentry, scowled at the Inuzuka (Naruto's rivals were Gamakichi's rivals, after all) but let them all pass without comment. Akamaru, who had been drowsing lazily in the next room, cleverly opened the door and ambled into the smaller suites for Team 7.

"About to get your ass kicked again, eh, gasbag?" Kiba guessed shrewdly. Awkward silences between _those _two were often portents of a beat down. A grin took the sting out of the remark.

"Not this time, mutt," Sakura replied with a smirk, catching both him and Naruto by surprise. She didn't often take Naruto's side in strictly social scuffles. "So how'd the meeting go, guys?" she asked to change the subject.

"It was a most pleasant meeting, Sakura," Shino stated blandly. While they were spoke, Akamaru strolled by the walls sniffing deeply. Hinata's eyes bulged in a quick Byakugan and studied the room carefully. Shino's insects, unseen but definitely busy, scouted the room.

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully our stay in Sodegaura won't be long. I'd like to get back home, after all," Sakura replied wearily. It was a relief to shift back to 'bored teenager' from 'confused teenager' while their comrades checked the room.

Hinata gestured towards the door leading to Team 8's rooms, and Shino pointed to the wall behind Sakura's futon. Hinata approached the door, Sakura her futon, and each murmured quietly to themselves as their hands and bodies shaped chakra in delicate genjutsu.

"This room is as secure as we can make it," Hinata said a few moments later, sitting down around the table with her team. Akamaru snuffed the genjutsu for a moment and shook his head, sneezed, and shoved his head insistently beneath Sakura's hand for stroking. She obliged.

"Anything unusual?" Naruto asked with a touch of nerves.

"Not that we could detect. It would be very difficult, but not impossible, for someone to run surveillance on these rooms that would elude all three of us," Shino said with unusual but pardonable pride. Not much escaped the senses of Team 8.

"What's our cover?" Kiba asked.

"We're talking about the food they gave us, and the sights we've seen already in the city," Hinata replied. She went into a bit of detail for a few moments, making sure everyone knew what they were supposed to have talked about just in case it came up later.

"Heh, well breakfast was one of the best examples of good food ruined in the name of 'classy' cooking _I've _ever seen. Not bad at all," Naruto said. Unlike espionage, everyone present had training in thwarting surveillance. "So how'd the introductions go?"

"The new Lord Itakura does not live up to his father's reputation," Shino replied. From anyone else it would have been a politely harsh criticism; coming from Aburame Shino, a man known for choosing his words with great care, it was an almost damning indictment.

"That bad, huh?" Sakura asked, a frown creasing her face.

"Yes. Outwardly of course he was appropriately courteous. Neji-niisan is far better at it, but I'm very good at reading people. His disdain for us was plain to my eyes; whether or not it was for us specifically or for Konoha shinobi, I could not say. His advisors, though, were worse. Almost to a man they're new appointees, and their questioning was almost contentious. We are not welcome here. I can't say I saw treachery in Itakura-sama's face, but he does not have sufficient respect for Konohagakure. I would not put it past him, or more accurately one of his advisors, to take action against us." Hinata smoothed a wrinkle in her kimono, as though she hadn't a care in the world.

"What she said. There's something rotten in Sodegaura," Kiba stated bluntly.

"How soon before we can expect your courier to reach Konoha, Naruto?" Shino asked.

"Gamasaru's a helluva hopper. He'll go day and night, since he'll get a break after he poofs. It's been nearly half a day already. One and a half days more and he'll arrive, I think. We should see about sending some correspondence in the usual ways. We'll make it just a _bit_ suspicious, but nothing major. Maybe say that we don't like Itakura-sama's advisors, but nothing about him specifically. They'll be expecting that, and when they intercept our letters, they'll believe it cause it's what they suspected already," Naruto said after a moment's consideration.

"That's very clever, Naruto!" Sakura said, sounding pleased; absent from her praise was surprise, for which Naruto was visibly grateful.

"Bah, that's kid stuff, Sakura-chan. I think I'm out of my depth here. Everything Ero-sennin taught me is shouting that things are worse here than we suspected. Hinata-chan's right. Don't eat or drink _anything_ unless you're with Shino. Your bugs can sniff out anything, right?" Naruto said to the jounin anxiously.

"Yes, Naruto. For testing food and water samples we are nearly as good as the Akimichi," he replied. The method for Shino's testing was straightforward and grim: his insects ingested some of the food and water, and the Aburame studied the effects. Nin-insects were often sacrificed to discover poison in this way. The Akimichi were more like artists when it came to detecting toxins. They didn't have to kill anything, even a tiny bug, to know when something was wrong with the food, since they knew it so well.

The two teams spoke for awhile longer on what had transpired at the meeting. Sakura and Naruto kept their conversation to themselves, of course, though they were noticeably more comfortable around each other; nothing else had happened, so they had nothing to report. All of the advisors were carefully considered, from the most polite and friendly (mostly relative terms in this case) to the most rude and antagonistic. All of the Konoha shinobi carefully memorized every detail of their personality and behavior, to compose detailed written reports for Konoha's dossiers later. They were just wrapping up when there was a thump on the floor.

"Hey boss!" Gamakichi called through the door. It had been his mighty foot thumping on the floor, a toad's knock. "One of these guys says lunch is being prepared for you with some of the bigwigs, so get ready already!"

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Story Statistics:

Released: 3-25-08

Word Count: Approx. 7500

Reviews: 63, up from 46 before. Another big jump! Thanks for reviewing, guys, I'm quite grateful and many of your comments have been helpful.

Hits: 7023, 411 on last chapter. Wow, I'm not sure why, but my story has been getting a lot more traffic lately. Thanks for spreading the word

Favs: 32

C2s: 14

Alerts: 38

Author's Notes:

Whew! Another one in the can. Fortunately I remembered to spell check this one a final time before submitting! Heh.

There's not really any action in this one, which I regret. Unfortunately Sakaki Maaya has not shown up again, which I also regret and didn't quite expect. I am working on a way to seamlessly get her back into the story; I like the dynamic she adds to the mix, and in general I think a well-written (and I hope she is) OC can add a lot of spice.

The intrigue, politically speaking, has really ratcheted up this chapter. Some of you may recall hints I made of distant troubles for Konoha, and if you recall those foreshadowings alongside with where I have sited the large city of Sodegaura, you can probably guess where things are heading. We'll be seeing more of Lord Itakura, but he's a real punk. How much of a punk and how much of a pawn remains to be seen

Team 8's role will also have more of a role in the next chapter. In terms of advancing the political and action plot, they've already played a major role in Sodegaura. In terms of _personal_ plots, members of Team 8-Hinata specifically-will play a bigger role as well in upcoming chapters.

I still have not decided which pairing (though there almost certainly will be one) this story will feature. Some of you may remember I was originally openly NaruSaku, but things have changed. The Angst-zilla monster struck late in this chapter, but I felt it was necessary. One of the things I'm trying to highlight in this story is how I think the main characters would have _grown_; in canon, it seems sometimes that they have hardly changed at all, which is frustrating.

So the conversation, it _had_ to take place. It's also more natural that companionship would come more easily between those two than between Naruto and Hinata. Sakura and Naruto spend more time together, have more in common, and have a longer history. That whole scene was _also_ a rebuttal to one of the most annoying, most frustrating, most often downright _stupid_ things I've seen in Naruto fanfics aside from hideous spelling and grammar and horribly forced out of character behavior without some sort of buildup: character bashing. Boy, do some people LOVE to bash Team 7-minus Naruto, of course. Blegh. How tiresome. One of the fanfics I've enjoyed most that broke the 4th wall was one in which a basher comes in and starts slandering everyone on Team 7 except Naruto, in front of Naruto. He beat the shit out of the guy Done comically with an intent to be humor, it can be fun. Treated seriously like it's _deserved_? Stupid. It's ruined many a promising story.

Anyway! That's my pet rant. None of that means Hinata is out, it just means I have to work her in. I couldn't slip it in this chapter, unfortunately. But as has hopefully become clear, she's no longer the shy wallflower, so she will definitely be making a move towards deepening her relationship soon.

Kiba, Shino, and Akamaru I hope were enjoyable, as well as the new toad. He's sort of my version of Jr. from Looney Tunes, if I remember the name right, the aggressive eager little chicken hawk who always got involved with Foghorn Leghorn. I had fun with him, I hope y'all liked him!

As usual, it's quite important to me that if you guys see something about this story you comment on in your head, go a step further and use the review box! Anything and everything, comments are invited. _Especially_ if they're specific, and _extra-_especially if they're something you think was badly handled and could've been done better. Lay into me! Kick me even if I'm down! Review, dangit!


	12. Chapter 9: Fancy food ain't always good

"Everywhere that brat goes he finds trouble!" Tsunade growled, pounding a small fist into her thick oak desk. The desk counted itself lucky she wasn't _really_ angry. "Make sure the courier hawks are ready to go in ten minutes, I want the fastest we've got!" she demanded. Shizune nodded and rushed to do her commander's bidding.

"You! What're you still doing here, you runty little tadpole?" she demanded of Gamasaru, who was quite thoroughly intimidated by the seething Slug Mistress.

"N-nothing, Tsunade-hime, I was just waiting for any reply you might have for the boss?" Gamasaru replied with a nervous gulp. His original plan of proud ribbiting for treats had been quickly abandoned in favor of a policy of going quietly unnoticed.

Tsunade sighed and calmed down, though it took an effort. "Just a moment," she paused to think. "Sorry I yelled at you, little guy. It's just that this is pretty bad news. Tell Naruto he did a good job to find this out, that this assignment has been bumped up to A-rank, and that we'll be sending some backup to the area for 'exercises'." She paused in thought for a moment then went on. "Shinobi and conventional, as quick as we can. Got all that?"

"Yes Tsunade-hime!" Gamasaru replied promptly with a salute. "I'll let him know when he summons me, which should be within half a day. I'll just be going then," he said, anxious to get the heck out of there. He disappeared with a tiny puff of smoke and a little crack of noise.

With a scowl at the little toad's cowardly retreat – _now_ he reminded her of Jiraiya! – Tsunade gathered her stationery and quickly composed a letter to the nearest unit of Hi no Kuni's military under the command of Colonel Kawaguchi Kiyotake. His regiment, the 442nd, was on an extensive tour of Hi no Kuni and was bivouacked not far from the borders of the KSZ.

_Colonel Kawaguchi:_

_I regret to inform you that I must pull the 442__nd__ off its security tour for a new assignment. Your regiment did outstanding work during the Sand/Sound invasion and in the desperate weeks following. I'm aware of how badly you and your men could use the down time, but there is trouble on the border._

_Enclosed is a report on the city of Sodegaura. Since you served under the late Lord Itakura during the wars, you are probably familiar with it. Included is our information on the new Lord Itakura and his cabinet, along with some of our latest intelligence. I'm sure it will be as disturbing to you as it is to me, and you'll quickly agree that a serious preventative response is required before the situation escalates._

_To that end I invoke the Hokage's command authority over conventional security forces. Per the law's requirements I am sending a copy of this note immediately to our Daimyo._

_You are ordered to divert the 442__nd__ immediately towards Sodegaura. Conceal your destination while you can, but haste is your first priority. Upon arrival your orders are to behave as though Sodegaura was the next stop in your original security tour and conduct exercises and recruitment as usual; it is just close enough to your current position that you may be able to maintain cover. You are ordered to continue exercises indefinitely, though I expect they will not last more than a fortnight after you arrive. I leave the details to you, but avoid any provocative steps as well as you can. As you'll see in the reports, Lord Itakura is a prickly aristocrat._

_Share these orders and the intelligence which prompts them with your shinobi bodyguard detail, and be advised that we are detaching two squads to your command, bringing your shinobi complement to nearly thirty. They will be briefed here, and should reach the 442__nd__ en route to Sodegaura within one day. They are to be publicly incorporated into your exercises, but secretly their assignment is counter-intelligence for your regiment. You should arrive at the city with your reinforcements two days after receipt of these orders._

_Your assignment is for now diplomatic – gunboat diplomacy – but this could be a prelude to the worst trouble Fire Country has seen since the Sandaime was killed. If things get that bad, you know what that will mean. Be cautious and good luck._

_Godaime Hokage_

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"Oh dear, whatever do you mean, Hinata-hime?" the advisor inquired delicately. His expression was of aloof distaste, as though someone had made a faux pas with their table manners.

"Forgive me, Minister-san," Hinata replied demurely. "I am still new at handling diplomatic matters outside of Konohagakure, so I am unfamiliar with protocol. My question concerned the extensive mining going on outside your lovely city." In her mind this minister was dubbed 'Ambitiously Ugly', a play on words that commented not on his physical appearance, but in the way she could see through his polite slightly patronizing veneer to the coldly selfish calculating soul within. She would not have been surprised to find an abacus where his heart should be, if she used her special eyes.

Ambitiously Ugly grimaced as though he had smelled something unpleasant. "But whatever would a shinobi of Konoha's interest in such a messy civilian undertaking be, Hinata-hime?" Ambitiously Ugly had advanced to the position of Itakura's minister of the interior for his fief. That this man held such a lofty title was a sign of how far things had slipped in Sodegaura from times past, for his every move screamed to Hinata that he would say anything, sell anyone, and do everything to further his own interests. Such ruthlessness often rose high.

"Oh, I am sorry Minister-san, I seem to have shown my ineptitude once again. Didn't I mention my family is a substantial investor in Sodegaura? We hold the notes of many of your city's chief moneylenders and controlling interests in the companies which manage quite a few of your fair city's factories." Oh yes indeed, the Hyuuga saw far. While there was an attitude of many Hyuuga ninja of distant disdain towards non-Hyuuga and non-shinobi matters, wiser heads adorned its leadership. Hyuuga and its offshoots by blood and marriage were not all shinobi. The civilians brought the considerable talents of their birthright to bear in all endeavors. Those of the clan but not of the blood still used their considerable wealth and training for its benefit.

"Really! I had no idea, please excuse my ignorance, Hinata-hime," replied Ambitiously Ugly with passable sincerity that failed to fool her. It was baffling that Sodegaura, once among the jewels in Hi no Kuni, had fallen so far as to employ…_this_. Naruto wasn't the only one with good instincts, and Hinata's diplomatic 'gut' was shouting to her that there was something more going on here to account for this creature. Unless chance had decided to smite the city with bad leadership across the board, there must be an explanation. Surely Lord Itakura had learned better governance at his father's knee?

"It's quite all right, Minister-san. You're only human, after all," _'barely'_, "and you have many distractions which occupy your attention. So when can I expect the financial reports on the digs?" she asked, as though it were a given that she not only would get the reports, but was entitled to them, and quickly.

Ambitiously Ugly's expression cooled still further, the pretense of treating her as a pampered ignorant princess mostly gone now. It was unavoidable, really, because Hinata couldn't do her job and sit still for this man's prevarications and nonsense. This was the third time since Team 8 began their diplomatic work in earnest, three days ago, that they'd brought up some awkward issues. Inquiries into the extensive but inexplicable mining were left to Hinata. Kiba was responsible for politely investigating the increased security presence. Shino was given the assignment of looking into the abrupt and ill-advised forced resignations of Sodegaura's previous ministers.

After bandying words with Ambitiously Ugly for two days and making no real progress, Hinata decided diplomatic niceties had been tended to and went for the throat by insisting on detailed financial reports of the mining. The financial statements Hyuuga demanded were extensive and detailed, and they were the start of Konoha's trap around Lord Itakura and his ministers.

Ambitiously Ugly could either issue the reports in full after further delay, or more likely he would release doctored records which would give Team 8 a trove of information on their own. Careful lies were often very revealing. In either case, Team 8 would have the necessary political excuse to abandon diplomatic pretense and revert to their preferred roles (aside from scouting and soldiering) as coldly professional investigators serving Konoha's interest.

"Well then Hinata-hime, I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me. My lapse has suddenly given me a great deal of work to do, and I would like to get started at once. If you don't mind?" Ambitiously Ugly requested obsequiously.

"Certainly not. Please pardon me, the fault is mine. I was simply too enamored by your wonderful city, or I would have broached the subject days ago," Hinata replied kindly. A sham that probably didn't fool Ambitiously Ugly, but necessary nonetheless. _'They will make their move very soon now that we've left them nowhere to run,'_ she thought to herself. She artfully finished her tea with all the poise her clan could offer, smiling graciously at the remaining servants, and rose to leave.

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"So, learn anything exciting, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked eagerly when she returned to their rooms. Gamakichi let her through to see him hastily shuffling some papers and scrolls on the table.

"Oh, I what I learned wasn't exciting in and of itself, Naruto-kun. But it will certainly _lead_ to excitement," she said with a small smile. When they were talking shop, she hardly had any trouble at all smiling right at him. Outwardly, at least.

"Riddles huh?" he replied with a mock-scowl. "Well here's a riddle for ya," he smirked. "Who's short, got long dark blue hair, and ain't gonna get to hear bout what Gamasaru told me just a little while ago?" Not a very elegant riddle, but Naruto knew better than to try a serious battle of words with a Hyuuga. Therefore he changed the game to extortion.

Her eyes narrowed in response, but she smiled a bit too. "Well I guess we're at an impasse. Oh, well," she shrugged idly. "I'm not really interested in hearing about the latest fly-catching jutsu Gamasaru's come up with anyway." She sat down across from him and smiled serenely at his frown.

"Ouch! Zinger for Hinata-chan," he grinned and nodded at her. "You win this round, but just you wait! In a few hours I'll have a devastating comeback, _you'll_ see!" Her mouth quirked in response, but she didn't get a chance to reply.

"Oi! Hard at work I see, Gassy-chan," Kiba growled in irritation as he entered, followed closely by Shino. Sakura, who had taken the last watch the previous night, was sleeping. "What're you doing, anyway? Playing tic-tac-toe with yourself?"

"As a matter of fact, butt-sniffer, I'm doing _**Science!**_ Incredible formulae, arcane mathematics, and delving into the secrets of the universe!" Naruto proclaimed with grandiose arm gestures; it looked more like flailing, really, but that suited him just fine. He'd just been doing some brainstorming on fuinjutsu, ideas to research later on, but this was a case of hiding in plain sight. Even Shino would not have suspected Naruto's reply was literal, and Shino took almost _everything_ literally.

"You should wake Sakura, Naruto. I believe my teammates and I have urgent news," Shino advised.

"Ugh…I don't s'pose you could get a bug to bite her? She tends to hit when she gets woken up unless it's an emergency," Naruto winced, rubbing his jaw. Well, when she was woken up _early_ anyway. Despite his complaint he got up and walked over to her futon in the corner of the room, kicked her foot and quickly scurried back.

"Ughwhatisitdammit?!" Sakura groaned, sitting up and scowling in a brilliant imitation of her mistress.

"Sorry Sakura-chan, but I've heard from Granny, and _Shino_ says there's other important news," Naruto pointed out hastily, taking care to pass the buck (_diversify_ the problem) right away.

"Oh, OK, right. Just a sec," she said, sounding less sleepy at once. Running a hand through her hair and a thrum of chakra through her body, in moments she was fully awake. "So what's the word from Tsunade-shishou?"

"Gamasaru arrived in Konoha safely just a few hours ago and reported to Granny. Our assignment has been bumped up to an official A-rank, combat-espionage mission. The little squirt said Granny was royally pissed," Naruto grinned nervously. Gamasaru had actually passed on some choice phrases about _him_, for sending him to the scary Hokage; Naruto left those out. "She's sending the 442nd as backup plus at least two squads. They should arrive within two days to start showing the flag; we caught a lucky break, they were actually pretty close. Sakura-chan, Granny orders you make the usual arrangement for communication," Naruto said seriously.

"Right. I'll summon a slug once we're done here, then," Sakura replied. Konoha had possessed the Slug Clan's summoning contract for generations, and Tsunade was always in Konoha. Therefore the two medics could, so long as both were able to summon, communicate very quickly at any distance with appropriate planning. The two medics had begun using the method immediately after Sakura signed the contract and grew proficient in the summoning technique.

"Bodyguard and communications director!" Kiba grinned. "D'you make house calls, Sakura?" Kiba asked with a grin, safe for the moment on the other side of the table.

"What about you guys, Hinata-chan?" Naruto interjected quickly when Sakura's face twitched in that painfully familiar way.

"I finally wrapped up the necessary diplomatic preliminaries. The Interior Minister was really dragging things out, but he's not as good as he thinks he is. I was able to insist he give the Hyuuga Clan – me – detailed financial reports on the mining going on. He was quite surprised to be outmaneuvered," she said with pardonable pride. It was no small achievement to best an experienced politician (despite his lack of dealings with shinobi) at his own game.

"Great work!" Sakura said, clearly impressed. It was a job she would have failed at miserably, given her temperament. Even though it didn't appeal to her, she recognized the importance of keeping things running smoothly, at least for the time being.

"Same with us, actually," Kiba said thoughtfully. "I finally scored an interview with some of the top brass to talk about the increase in security forces, and Shino was talking about how he's been promised reports on the 'failings' of the previous cabinet." Kiba grinned with mirth, and even Shino looked amused.

"What's so funny? That's really strange, all of them coming together like that!" Naruto exclaimed. He knew enough to be suspicious, but civilian politics were often opaque to him.

"Naruto-kun, this is just what we expected once we saw how things stood in Sodegaura. Actually I thought things might turn out this way after your discoveries before we arrived," Hinata explained calmly. "By now they should know better, but we're still being underestimated. _That_ is the real question here: how did this pack of fools get to be ministers of one of Fire Country's greatest cities?"

"I don't know, but we're so close to the border with Earth that none of the possible answers are good," Naruto said with a scowl. Under Jiraiya's tutelage, Naruto had learned paranoia; in the shinobi world and for Naruto in particular it was often merited. As the Toad Sage said, "Of course I'm paranoid. Everyone's trying to kill me."

"So what happens next?" Sakura asked.

"Well, since all three of us probed into some of their biggest secrets on the same day, I doubt even the most arrogant ministers will think we're just harmless mercenaries from a hidden hamlet anymore. I could read the Interior Minister's body language, and I think his agreement was just a trap. One or more of us can expect to have an 'accident', probably before the 442nd arrives," Hinata explained with a small shrug.

"Damnit! So what do we do?" Naruto asked anxiously, sitting up a bit straighter.

"Do?" Kiba replied, sounding puzzled. "Nothing. Well, nothing beyond what we're already doing, anyway."

"Yeah, but remember the part where that's a trap?" Sakura demanded incredulously.

"We know what we're doing, Sakura," Shino replied blandly. "For now this is still a diplomatic mission, though it's more dangerous and full of intrigue than we thought. We must find out what is happening here, and until we uncover real evidence Lord Itakura's still too powerful to question directly. By going along with this charade and inviting a strike, we can see what form it will take. It will be very instructive. Still, we won't be reckless; we must never be alone for the remainder of this assignment. Assassins are likely."

Sakura and Naruto exchanged surprised looks at the blasé way Shino was discussing an attempt on his life and the lives of his teammates. In Team 7's experience, when someone was trying to kill you the proper response was to go ahead and try to kill them back. And succeed. But Team 8 had a different field, and they were ideally equipped to spot and avoid an ambush.

"Well…alright. You're the experts I guess," Naruto said unhappily. "I hate this. I wanna smack some sense into that idiot Itakura. What does he think he's _doing?_" Once it was clear Itakura was a leader abusing his people's trust, he was high on Naruto's shit-list.

"That's what we're here to find out, Naruto-kun. For now we must tread lightly," Hinata pointed out. Naruto sighed with dissatisfaction, but nodded.

"Got it. So what's next?"

"We must make operational decisions for the time until reinforcements arrive. Hokage-sama will probably be sending a senior shinobi since our mission has been rated 'A'. Most of our arrangements have already been made; much of what remains is to increase vigilance," Shino began. He couldn't think quite as far ahead as Shikamaru, but his exacting attention to detail made him an excellent security expert. There would be no stone left unturned with Shino in charge.

For the next hour they laid their plans, setting out how they would eat, sleep, drink, and travel; how they would escape Sodegaura if things went straight to hell, how to defend themselves if one or more of them were incapacitated (or dead. To conclude their meeting, they set their stories straight about what the concealment genjutsu had them talking about, to be able to lie convincingly in the future.

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As usual Teams 7 and 8 were at the top of their game. The anticipated 'accidents' didn't start until next evening. It was a good sign, because it hinted that the ministers and their backers (they all agreed there _had_ to be backers) remained unaware of the 442nd's approach. Together they sat down to a sumptuous dinner with the cabinet and their wives, as well as some of the senior military officials of Sodegaura early in the evening. The first attempt came during the meal.

Naruto was regaling one of the soldiers with the tale of his defeat of Hyuuga Neji in his first Chuunin Exam. Possibly his most public exploit, he'd developed a flair for telling the story well. It was a heroic tale of great-heartedness, bravery, struggle, and redemption. Those who knew Naruto and Neji could tell it was truthful, despite Naruto's plain enjoyment of the story as much for bragging rights as for any artistic pleasure. Neji wasn't happy about it, but Naruto capitalized on the fact that his friend was far, far away.

Sakura and Hinata were discussing both medicine and the leadership of Konoha with some of the ministers and their wives, with Hinata taking the lead in those conversations, gently guiding Sakura away from scowling or (gods forbid) violent responses to misconceptions or subtle insults. It was often the way of the more pampered aristocrats to sneer at the shinobi who fought and died in their service. Nobility more vested with wisdom than arrogance knew better, but they were the exception and not the rule in Sodegaura today.

Kiba and Shino were lucky enough to avoid any conversational entanglements. Kiba was chatting up one of the minister's daughters; she seemed quite enamored, and fortunately for the both of them her seething father was seated at the other end of the table. Shino was eating quietly without interruption because people who feared icky insects generally avoided Aburame like…well, icky insects. And that was most people.

But it was a blessing anyway, since Shino was busy. His six-legged comrades ranged far and wide on assignments like these, so they quickly detected the presence of ingredients that were…less than wholesome for human consumption about to be tossed into the pot. They quickly alerted their friend to this alarming observation, but were quickly reassured when he asked them to deal with the uninvited ingredients.

The poison probably would not have killed anyone not already ill, but at best would have substantially weakened any who ingested it. Showing a bit of discretion, their enemies in the city probably assumed that a more direct poison would be noticed while something more subtle might pass muster. But Shino was definitely a details-man, and so after carefully communicating with his colonies asked them to neutralize the poison.

Things that are wholly unhealthy for human beings to eat are not necessarily bad for insects, particularly a species of insects whose genealogy has been painstakingly managed over many generations. Shino gave the agreed upon signal that the food was safe to his comrades, and they tucked in. Shino hoped that whatever antidotes the ministers and their company ingested (knowingly or unknowingly) induced intense diarrhea.

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Perhaps the antidotes really _did _cause diarrhea and their enemies were angered by their suffering, but it was more likely that Shino's supposition had been correct and the second attempt was a follow-up. It was much more direct and aimed at Kiba. He was out enjoying a stroll/romp with Akamaru brainstorming how he might take a tumble or two with the minister's daughter without wrecking their mission when a large, very poisonous snake reared up suddenly from the brush and struck mercilessly at the Inuzuka chuunin.

In mid-strike Akamaru's shaggy paw struck the predator on the neck and drove it even more mercilessly into the earth. Its spine snapped in half immediately, and Akamaru stooped down to tear off its head with a light tug from his teeth, and then hungrily devoured the body.

As far as attacks with snakes went, this one wasn't especially skillful; had an expert like Orochimaru been involved, for example, Kiba and Akamaru would likely have been dead before they even realized they'd been bitten. But the animal's behavior – the pair made more than enough noise that any naturally-occurring snakes would have fled – left no doubts in the minds of either dog or man that this encounter was no accident. But suddenly Kiba had more pressing matters on his mind.

"Hey! You ate the _whole_ thing, Akamaru? Geeze!" he growled, glaring at his friend. Possibilities for further examination of the snake now took on a very unpleasant aspect.

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Sleep was not always a comfort for Hyuuga Hinata. She dreamt often, but unfortunately most of her fears were intangible, emotional things. When she dreamt badly, her nightmares were not of falling, or dying, or snakes, or spiders, or even appearing in front of the class with no clothes on, unprepared for the S-rank shinobi opera recital you have to give in just a few seconds.

She was a shinobi, and they were all taught at least some measure of psychology. So when she woke up sometimes feeling cold, alone, and inexplicably nervous, it probably had something to do with growing up with a neglectful and sometimes even hostile father coupled with the absence of a mother. Other things contributed, of course; being kidnapped when she was old enough to remember and smart enough to know _why_, and having a close relative go from faintly-smiling (for Hyuuga, a major display) friendship to sneering disdain and even hatred hadn't helped either. Later ongoing humiliations at her younger sister's hands were just icing on the cake.

Hyuuga Hinata could dream up some whopper nightmares. So it was especially fortunate she wasn't sleeping when another attempt was made. Her comrades slept peacefully, even Naruto-kun; Hinata could be pardoned for looking at _him_ while he slept more than, say, Sakura-san. Gamakichi was once again on duty at the door to Team 7's room; after taking steps to ensure Team 8's room looked occupied, they all retired to the other room. Akamaru prowled silent as a wolf through the likely target room. Hinata prowled silent as a kunoichi through the other.

The assassin was silent, too, but silence didn't mean as much when faced with watchful Hyuuga eyes. It was good that she was on watch now instead of Naruto-kun or Sakura-san, though the assassin who crept slowly closer probably suspected one of them to be on guard. The Konoha shinobi had of course randomized the night watch rotation once they'd received word from Tsunade. Hinata had faith in Team 7, but it was so much easier, so much simpler, for her to detect an enemy than it would be for them. After all, she could watch people before they ever even came close.

Her would-be murderer crept gracefully through a hole in the ceiling; she couldn't be sure if he'd cut through, or lifted a segment away entirely. Not important now. So, this would be an overt assassination attempt, no effort at even the appearance of an accident. Unsurprising given two previous failures, along with the student of one of the world's very best healers right next door. He would need to make sure she was killed outright. A sign of desperation. Perhaps word of the 442nd's approach had reached Itakura's ministers.

The killer was no novice, and Hinata might've respected his skill at infiltration if he wasn't setting up to drive a kunai into the base of her skull where it met the neck, an instant and nearly silent kill. He drew back his arm and thrust forward in a powerful, lethal blow.

The not-so-sleeping Hyuuga (she had returned to 'sleep' as the assassin neared) shifted a matter of centimeters and the attack missed, slashing into her futon with murderous force. Even as she evaded her arm came up for an attack, fingers first. The Gentle Fist strike drove home with the absolute precision guided by her Byakugan into the side of his neck. She could see the chakra flow within him disrupted at once, rendering him helpless to wield any chakra techniques. Her second strike came less than a second later with blinding force as she finished rolling over, now on her back. Even with her Byakugan disengaged she could have seen her fist slam into his temple with a meaty thud, and the man sagged unconsciously atop of her.

"Ugh," she mumbled to herself, shoving the man sideways and rising from the futon. She stood over the man and studied him intently with her gifted eyes. She made note of a dose of some poison stored in a tooth, and something strange about his shinobi-style sandal as well. Some other suicide device, or a weapon most likely. Possibly some tool for communication.

"Akamaru-kun, please wake the others if they're still asleep," she said to Kiba's partner. Akamaru had of course heard the commotion and arrived in time to see Hinata incapacitate her foe. He rumbled his agreement and with a wag of his enormous tail turned around and herded up her comrades.

It didn't take long, for shinobi slept lightly, and even abbreviated sounds of battle tended to wake them when they were watchful. All were getting dressed already (Akamaru's unhurried herding was sufficient sign that all was well), except for Naruto who never had the luxury of growing up with people to say, "Put some clothes on, damnit!" when he shambled out of bed in pajama pants and his absurd sleeping cap.

"Damn! And I thought _I_ was the only one hookin' up in Sodegaura!" Kiba smirked. Hinata glared at him slightly, her face coloring a bit, but didn't have to react. Sakura took care of that, planting an especially stinging smack to the back of his head. The women knew he meant no harm by it, but still, this was serious, and Sakura could hardly let him get away with _that_ sort of remark. She had a reputation to uphold, after all. "Geeze!" he groaned, rubbing the back of his now sore head. If he hadn't been awake before, he certainly was now.

"Actually Kiba-kun, so far you're only _trying_ to 'hook up' in Sodegaura. Not actually succeeding. As usual," Shino remarked blandly, eliciting a furious scowl from his comrade. It was more the bored matter-of-fact tone of voice than the insult itself that came close to starting a fight.

Naruto and Sakura glanced at one another, a bit surprised at Team 8's unprofessional behavior. There _was_ an assassin to investigate, after all. But then Shino stood a bit straighter, and a steady stream of his insect could be seen fluttering their way back to him. Team 7 was relieved-Shino and Kiba weren't screwing around, they were simply waiting.

"He's been poisoned," Shino reported.

"What? But I was sure to incapacitate him before he could take anything!" Hinata protested, face paling. In the tactical situation she faced, the only thing worse than failing to successfully take the assassin prisoner would be to have been killed by him.

"You didn't let me finish," Shino replied calmly. Hinata winced; it wasn't often that she interrupted _anyone_, but it had been a pretty major issue. Fortunately Shino understood about that sort of thing.

"Please excuse me, continue," she nodded.

"He's been poisoned, but it's strange. The effect is very mild, so it would not have been a suicide fail-safe. My colonies are reluctant to investigate further for some reason. I cannot explain it." He glanced at Sakura. Fortunately the presence of a qualified medic meant he would not have to expend any of his insect comrades on this effort.

Nodding, she knelt next to their captive and began to her examination. "This will take a minute or two at least," she said.

Fidgeting impatiently, Naruto shrugged the delay off and put his mind elsewhere. "So Hinata, tell us about the fight! You sure kicked this bastard's ass good," Naruto exclaimed with appreciation. Being attacked while sleeping was a sore subject with him; Jiraiya had really enjoyed himself breaking Naruto of his potentially lethal habit of obliviously deep sleeping on his training journey.

Hinata smiled brightly, and narrowly managed to avoid further reaction by keeping her eyes on the prisoner. "Not much to tell I'm afraid. It was rather simple since I was on watch already. I spotted him far from here, in a straight line no less. He had quite a ways to go maneuvering through the halls and rooms. It was an easy thing to keep an eye on him and then feign sleep when he drew closer. He thought I would be an easy kill and attacked with a kunai through the ceiling," she pointed upward. "His stealth was excellent against normal shinobi senses. I dodged and attacked, and down he went," she shrugged.

Naruto grinned broadly, and Kiba gave her a congratulatory slap on the back. Something no one besides him would have dreamed of doing, but she didn't mind. They were both of Team 8, after all. "Despite your advantages, very well done," Shino said with a nod.

"There we go. Well you were both right, guys," Sakura said standing up again after her examination concluded a short while later. She took care to divest him of all of his tools, especially the hidden ones. "He was poisoned, but it didn't happen during the attack." 

Shino and Naruto's faces darkened. "What does that mean then?" Kiba asked, not as wise in the ways of intrigue as either of them.

"Probably that he was poisoned well before the assassination attempt. Smart money's on a slow-acting but reliably fatal poison. Right Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked with slight glance of pity at their foe.

"Exactly right, Naruto. In fact this was a pretty subtle binary poison. Ingested. How'd you know?" she asked in surprise.

"Whoever sent this man against us did not want him to live long after the attempt. This way the assassin would probably not even realize he had been poisoned, and whether or not he succeeded, failed, or took the first payment and ran he would be dead within days of the attack. Tying up a loose end in advance," Shino explained.

"Yup. Seems like these bastards've finally decided t'stop screwin' around," Naruto thumped the man with his foot. "Can you cure him, Sakura-chan?" he asked with a calculating gleam in his eye.

"Easily."

"Good. That'll probabvly save us any unpleasantness in the interrogation," Naruto replied. Reaching into a pouch, he drew densely wrapped coils of shinobi wire. "Who knows? We may even be able to let him live," he said without much hope, crouching down to begin restraining their prisoner.

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Story Statistics:

Released: 6-01-08

Word Count: Approx. 5,600

Reviews: 104, up from 63. Another big jump, only partially explained by the 2-month hiatus. Thanks very much reviewers! I take many of my cues from you, most particularly about improving the flow and removing the meandering sense of the story. Or trying to, at least.

Hits: 17460, 2121 on last chapter. Whoa! Never imagined I'd be read by so many people. Thanks! And you non-reviewers out there, chime in, dangit!

Favs: 74

C2s: 32

Alerts: 99

Author's Notes:

OK! Wow, it's been awhile, eh? Sorry to the readers out there who'd grown accustomed to a more brisk update speed. Life whalloped me on the head with work, school, and RL-mess. What little leisure time I've been able to sneak has been spent elsewhere.

I've lost my momentum in this story, coming I think from my lack of a distinct 'goal' for it from early on, but I'm giving a shot at getting it back. Some have made complaints that the story meanders aimlessly, and I can't fault them for that. Along with working on the next chapter, I'm making an effort to give the story a feeling like we're really _going_ somewhere.

Now, because it's been two months, and my memory of the story is disjointed, I'm going to post a timeline here. Please y'all, for my sake just take a look and see if it matches your memories, OK?

1. Naruto's mission to Wakaga, lasting about 16-24 hours.

2. Naruto and Sakura get assignment to Sodegaura, and leave in the morning

3. Team 8 and the partial Team 7 travel to Sodegaura, arriving two days after leaving. This is a very fast travel time, made possible by going all out.

4. 'Baker's Street Irregulars', wherein Naruto infiltrates the city and conducts some investigation

5. Naruto dispatches Gamasaru, a toad courier, with an initial report of his findings.

6. The next day, the whole group enters Sodegaura officially.

7. Two days after Gamasaru is sent, he arrives in Konoha and debriefs Tsunade, who dispatches an shinobi-animal avian courier of her own to the 442nd. Two shinobi squads, 24 Konoha shinobi in all, make their way from Konoha to the 442nd. They are scheduled to arrive not long before the 442nd reaches Sodegaura

8. Courier arrives at the 442nd, hours after leaving Konoha, and the regiment begins its journey towards Sodegaura.

9. Events in this chapter take place, after much diplomatic and bureaucratic wrangling and time-wasting. Two days have passed since their official arrive, with the earliest expected ETA of reinforcements still day away.

To fans of my OC Sakaki Maaya, a chuunin from earlier chapters: it's quite likely she will be among the reinforcements dispatched to Sodegaura. Some of you may remember that she told Naruto when in Wakaga that her tour in that town was nearly over. This would mean that she would be back in Konoha, and as a member of one of the STC-squads, available for a reinforcement mission.

As you can see, the story is about to take a turn from 'political intrigue' to 'action'. It's right on the cusp right now. There's only so much trying-to-kill-them that the villains, whoever they are (heh) can do to Teams 7 and 8 and have both sides able to pretend things are business as usual. The tone in the next chapter will go from 'unwelcome, potentially threatening guests' to 'pilgrims in an unholy land' in terms of danger faced.

Now, I'm desperate to release this chapter, so please pardon any errors you note. Reviewers are read carefully, often replied to, and in many cases the story has turned up much better for your involvement than it would have without it! Please, chime in!


	13. Chapter 10: Anonymous food critic!

"The best way to protect something isn't by kicking ass."

"Huh? What're you talkin' about, Ero-sennin?" Master and apprentice were housed in another inn near the bad part of town. The usual, Naruto was coming to realize. While Jiraiya had returned from doing lecherous stuff, Naruto had returned from doing touristy stuff, and was full of eager retellings of a play he'd attended. The good looking hero of the story followed all of the traditional heroic idioms (proud declarations, righteous defiance, all that stuff) and despite treachery managed to triumph over the villain in the end. He got the girl too, of course.

"I'm talking about _you_, punk. You and that ridiculous story you're telling. It's bullshit. The best way to protect something _isn't_ by doing all that stuff you're talking about. It's just a fantasy. Nice place to visit, but you sometimes make a habit of living there, if you know what I mean." Master peered down at apprentice, wanting to make sure the latter absorbed his words.

"Humph!" Naruto growled, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. They'd been on their training journey for less than two months, and Naruto had not quite learned that when Jiraiya spoke in that tone of voice, he usually had a good point glittering in a dusty corner somewhere. Unfortunately for Jiraiya's degree of patience, Naruto did not react well when people suggested he was living in a fantasy world. He'd gotten that from all angles as a child and was beyond sick of it.

Just because he made a habit of defying that sort of pessimism about his career didn't mean it didn't sting. Hearing it from Ero-Sennin was more hurtful than their ongoing insults usually got. "Yeah right, Ero-sennin! Maybe it's fantasy for _you_, but when _I'm_ Hokage, things will be different!" he proclaimed, rather like his hero from the stage.

"Listen brat!" Jiraiya bopped his pupil on the head. "And listen good. I ain't just talkin' about _you_. I'm talking about everyone. Kicking ass and issuing open challenges isn't the best way for _anyone_ to protect _anything_. It'd be nice if it was, but that isn't the world we live in. And our precious people live _here_, with us, not in some fantasy, right?" Jiraiya had learned very quickly how to get his student to listen up. Mentions of ramen, jutsu, precious people, and Naruto's wallet were all reliable ways to cut through everything else.

"Yeah…" Naruto replied reluctantly. He had to admit, Sakura-chan and Konohamaru and Konoha, they didn't exist in the world of plays and proclamations and damsels in distress and straightforward heroes who ended up marrying said damsels when the fight was over. Konoha's world was one of demons and traitors, of murderers and deceivers, a place where sometimes family massacred family and where people tried to kidnap you just for something stuffed in your belly that you had no part in.

Where sometimes your best friend felt so alone and helpless and weak in his home no matter how hard you tried, and left after nearly killing you.

It wasn't difficult to gauge Naruto's thoughts with the heavy turn they'd taken just now. Judging the time to be right, Jiraiya interjected. "Kid, you know a lot about the Sand-Sound Invasion, right?" He asked the question knowing the answer.

"Of course! I was neck-deep in it, after all." Which was true, and since that series of horrors had ended with the Old Man dead on a rooftop, Naruto had worked hard to learn everything he could about it. He remembered thinking at the time, for a moment, that by fighting Gaara away from Konoha, he was keeping the monster away from everything precious to him, aside from his team that is. But Gaara hadn't been the worst monster on the prowl that afternoon, not by a long shot. A far nastier creature prowled his home, and killed an old man he'd loved since his first memories.

"Then you know how close we came to being wiped out," Jiraiya said gravely. "Konoha was within a razor's edge of falling to Orochimaru's twisted ambition. Do you know what it was that really saved us?" he asked.

"Sure! The Old Man beat back Snake Bastard!" _'And I snapped Gaara out of it!'_ Naruto thought but did not say. He thought that mostly to avoid thinking about Sarutobi's death.

"No! Think back objectively. Remember in the arena, during the match between Gaara and the Uchiha? Almost everybody falling under a genjutsu?"

"Yeah…" Naruto nodded uncertainly, not sure where this was going. He'd fallen victim too, and was not proud of it.

"There were quite a few undercover shinobi and ANBU mingled in that crowd. More than there would have been normally in fact. Sarutobi-sensei went to the Kage's Box to watch the finals armed and armored for battle. Do you know why, brat?"

"Why?" Naruto asked breathlessly. Waking up to see the arena in chaos with enemy shinobi swarming about attacking and killing had been one of the most awful, confusing memories of his life. He knew better than most how close things had been to falling apart; Konoha had kept the upper hand only by virtue of a handful of shinobi in that battle.

"Spies. Let me tell you a story about a shinobi you only knew briefly, a man named Hayate Gekko…"

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"Now see, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Naruto asked the assassin. And despite his ominous words before waking the prisoner, it really hadn't been. Among the first things they'd learned was his name, Kawakami Gensai. He matched a listing in the Bingo Book, a death mark placed by Cloud. He was naturally shocked and relieved when he wasn't subject to traditionally unpleasant information-gathering techniques for prisoners.

When Sakura explained to him that he'd been poisoned (not by them), he was angry but not very surprised; he admitted that he'd been feeling a bit off, just a twinge here and there, but shinobi bodies were precision instruments and the change was noted. The promise to cure him sealed his compliance in his own interrogation by serving as a sign of good intentions. It was clear to everyone that Gensai did not expect to live, poison or no, but at least he might exact vengeance on his treacherous employers and die without being horribly tortured.

The interrogation yielded few good leads. The Konoha shinobi weren't dealing with anyone they'd met before, if Gensai's information was accurate. The tradecraft was too good for someone like Ambitiously Ugly or one of the other ministers to have sent the assassin, unless one of them had been seriously misjudged. It smacked of shinobi expertise. They learned in detail about his two dead drops for payment, as well as a precise description of the oblique note which had given him instructions (of course he destroyed it). Finally, he gave a detailed description and other particulars of an unremarkable middle-aged woman. He'd met her only once, though, and she could have been any one of hundreds of women they'd already seen in Sodegaura.

The interrogation was disappointing since they'd hoped for a fool, but they had more than they'd started with at least. At least they'd be able to focus on the second dead drop and the description of Gensai's initial contact. Certainly it would be empty, but it was a place to start. "Well, it's better than nothing," Naruto said with a sigh. Everyone but Shino looked dubious; to them this information really _did_ seem like nothing.

"So whadda we do with him now?" Kiba asked awkwardly. Sakura had cured him as a show of good faith to keep him talking, but they all knew the man couldn't leave this encounter alive. It was an uncomfortable situation, because even though they all possessed the potential for ruthlessness necessary, none were interrogation specialists. None had killed a prisoner before, especially right after helping him.

"I'll take care of it. I know just the place, spotted it during my recon," Naruto piped up. Gensai slumped in resignation; somewhere he had to have been nursing the hope that their offers were sincere. A blow from Naruto's kunai stifled anything else he might have said, putting him out again.

"Are you certain, Naruto?" Shino asked. Hinata and Sakura both looked faintly shocked. They'd resigned themselves to this necessity, though neither had expected _Naruto_ to volunteer for the duty. "I have methods of making sure the body cannot be identified," he pointed out. Having insects for friends, insects that could communicate with _other_ insects, was a very useful thing.

"Naw, I'll do it. Not that I doubt you, but it's important that Team 8, the big shots," he grinned, "stays put here. A mysteriously decomposed body, _that_ might attract attention. Just another random murder-mugging victim in the slums? That's nothing special. Sakura-chan could handle the body better, but I'm better at infiltration," he pointed out cheekily. It was only the truth. Only Naruto with his mastery of Henge no Jutsu could move about Sodegaura so reliably.

"Well…alright, Naruto. Just be careful, alright?" Sakura said with a wince. She seemed deflated. Nastiness was a part of their business, and academically she knew Naruto had to have been trained in this sort of thing, but still…to be confronted with it was unsettling. Not something she blamed him for, but it didn't make her happy either.

"Of course Sakura-chan!" Naruto promised with his usual smile. He smiled while slinging a future corpse over his shoulder and heading towards the hole in the ceiling; it made his grin positively eerie.

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It was unwieldy lugging so many kilos of dead weight through the ceilings, but even so it didn't take Naruto long to drag the assassin into an empty room. Sneaking into an empty room certainly posed no problem. Quick as lightning he pulled a seal from a pouch, drove chakra into it, and Gensai disappeared with a pop. For a few moments afterwards there was a slow, steady breeze seeming to go into the seal. The characters on the scroll glowed a faint blue before returning to stark black.

'_There we go!'_ he thought with satisfaction. Anyone watching would imagine the man would be dead within minutes, stored in an extra-dimensional space with no air. Only a student of fuinjutsu or someone close enough to detect the breeze might have known that sealing a living thing into a scroll like that was not necessarily a death sentence. A good bit of air went in, too.

In short order Naruto exfiltrated the complex after switching disguises several times and finally sneaking out in plain sight via one of his henges for this sort of thing, a dumpy scullery maid. After that it was simple to find an inn in a busy, seedy part of town near the mining on the outskirts, after more transformations to shake any surveillance. Mingling seamlessly with the crowds as _three_ distinctly different people, Naruto was confident he'd not been tracked.

Checking into a dingy hotel was no strain on his resources; his comrades would have been shocked to discover just how much money he'd brought along. Ero-sennin would've been pleased, and not just for the opportunity for larceny. After checking in he inked, applied, and then disguised a series of seals against surveillance, then released his prisoner. Naruto dashed a cup of icy water on his face and followed up with a sharp jolt of chakra. Together they were sufficient to wake most shinobi from anything short of death.

"Blecth! Where am I? Where are the others?" the Gensai asked desperately. He was amazed to have woken up at all.

"You're in a hotel in Sodegaura, near the mines on the outskirts of town. The others are back in their rooms, where you failed to perform an assassination. Remember?" Naruto demanded in a chilly tone; this was his first time, and it was important that he set the proper tenor for what would hopefully be the first of many productive meetings.

"Err…right. Why am I alive? You had a Hyuuga with you, surely you know I told you the truth before," he pointed out fearfully. Naruto was thoroughly pleased by the man's evident fear, a sign that he'd been completely thrown off balance. By his estimation Gensai was a skillful shinobi, but even veterans could only take so much surprise. Naruto intended to keep the roller-coaster moving.

"Yes, I'm sure you did. Allow me to finish speaking. It's clear what you must be thinking." Gensai's eyes narrowed but he nodded. "Yes, the cure you were given was authentic. You'll verify that yourself at a hospital not long after you leave here, I'm sure. Further confirmation will come in the form of _not_ dying within a week or two of poisoning. As for why you're still alive…well unlike your former employers, _I _like to use workers _past_ one assignment." Naruto sat back to gauge the reaction of his captive.

"What? Work for _you?_ But you're just some bodyguard!" the assassin blurted in amazement, craning his neck to look around the room and see if they were alone. Seeing no one Gensai's expression tightened thoughtfully, and he looked up at Naruto with a calculating air.

"Of course work for me. Let's be serious: you're certainly not going to turn me down _now_, because then I'd have to kill you outright. So this conversation isn't about getting you to agree to work for me. It's about getting you to agree and mean it when we're hundreds of kilometers from each other, and years have passed. So you skip promises of loyalty and value, and I'll skip glaring at you menacingly before deciding I don't believe you. Neh?" By his expression, Naruto judged his prisoner to still be far back on his heels. _'Good.'_

"Well...maybe, but none of this explains why I _should_ work for you years and kilometers later," the assassin pointed out. Gensai looked cautiously optimistic now. Naruto didn't speak or act like a shinobi on protection detail, so perhaps there was reason to hope.

"Here's the _best_ reason: I didn't mention that I'm just a middle-man. I work for one of Konohagakure's Densetsu no Sannin, Jiraiya-sama. And that's who _you'll _be working for, really. He has me keep an eye open for talent," Naruto said sounding a bit smug. It was mostly a lie. It really stuck in his craw to speak so respectfully of Ero-sennin, and in any case he wasn't a middle-man, not this time. Ero-sennin had indeed instructed his apprentice to keep an eye out for talent. Talent for _himself_, not his master.

Spies weren't inherited like loyalties from one daimyo to his son. During their very productive journey, Jiraiya had groomed his apprentice to develop his own information network. When Jiraiya was gone, some of his informants could be passed along to Naruto, who would already have his own in place. He had learned the value of spies.

"Jiraiya-sama, the legendary author?" the assassin gasped in spite of himself. Naruto winced. _'Another fan. Of course.'_

"That's right. Now as to my credentials," Naruto continued. "If you're such a fan you've heard of his disciple the 'One Man Army'? That's me." He kept a wince from his face. Declaring fame was fun in a battle sometimes, but now it just felt strange. Gensai didn't have a Fire Country look though, so the chance he would know Naruto by name was remote.

Fortunately Ero-sennin sometimes got into trouble despite the tight veil of secrecy he kept around his movements. Sometimes he got into trouble and it was publicized. Sometimes when he got into trouble he used his apprentice as a decoy and got _him _publicized. To take his mind off those unpleasant memories and to cement his identity in Gensai's mind, Naruto summoned up a dozen shadow clones. They scowled at the tight quarters, poked the assassin with a toe simultaneously, then dispelled.

"You really _are_ him!" the man gaped in surprise.

"Yeah, I really are him," Naruto smiled faintly. "So here's the deal. In addition to not killing you, not torturing you, and having my friend cure your poisoning, I'm going to pay you very well for your services." He tossed a wallet stuffed to bursting with currency in front of the assassin's face. He could've stored the money in a pouch, but presentation was important to seduction.

"Conditions?" Gensai asked, his voice a blend of greed and hope.

"Three: you must leave Hi no Kuni immediately and go far from here. Head towards Iwagakure. You won't be able to get into the village of course, but that region of Iwa no Kuni. Two: Anytime you see anything you think just _might_ be of interest to Jiraiya-sama and I, report. Don't limit yourself to things you believe might interest Konohagakure. Report on _everything_. For those two services you'll be kept on retainer and be paid this up-front fee," he nudged the wallet with his foot, "and a third of that monthly to follow, whether your monthly report is juicy or not. That's your basic fee; for the really good stuff or should you decide to work for us in a more active capacity, naturally there's more money to be had." _'Hook…line…'_ Naruto thought to himself.

"Deal," Gensai replied immediately.

'_And sinker,_' Naruto thought with enormous satisfaction. His first spy. Not a monumental accomplishment, because the greed and desperation of missing-nin worked in his favor. Naruto had learned that lesson years ago, back in Nami no Kuni. Still, he was proud just the same. Soon a steady stream of information would flow from within Iwa to him.

"Name's Kawakami Gensai, missing-nin from Kumo. You can get your Hyuuga friend in here t'check me out, she'll tell you I'm bein' legit," Gensai offered hastily. He seemed to think it appropriate to reintroduce himself.

Naruto kept the interest off his face when Gensai mentioned his background in Cloud. It was potentially fortunate, but then the man had to be from _somewhere_. There were drawbacks too: Naruto could hardly send him to Lightning if he was one of its missing-nin. Though Gensai was skillful, it took a special sort of shinobi to travel his homeland with a death mark. Gensai was no Itachi.

"No, I can't. They all think I'm killing you right now and hiding your body in a gutter somewhere. It's part of your cover now. Konoha thinks you're dead. That's another little bonus for you: the target you tried and failed to kill along with her teammates think you're dead. I even made sure the insects were left behind as well. Here's why I trust you enough to work for me," he said, compelling Gensai's undivided attention with his eyes.

The assassin gave it, though he looked absurdly pleased at the phrase 'asking you'. Ero-sennin taught that flattery and threats have their place when dealing with spies. "First, you have no reason to doubt me and the money is great and long-term. Second, if for some reason you should decide to double-cross me, not only will I certainly live through it, I'll track you down. Shinobi the likes of Momochi Zabuza, Orochimaru, Sabaku no Gaara (before he reformed), and Uchiha Sasuke have tried to put me down, but here I am. You'll never really know whether or not I'm the rock right next to you, or a thousand leaves on the tree above you. When you check me out, you'll see what I mean. And, if by some miracle you double cross me and manage what Orochimaru, Uchiha Sasuke, and the Kazekage have not and actually kill me…well, you'll still have Jiraiya-sama to contend with," Naruto warned matter-of-factly.

"That's not a threat, though, that's just me telling you what you'll find out later for yourself. So! It's the obvious choice, neh? Will it be ongoing filthy riches for purely nominal work, or certain unpleasant death at my hands or those of Jiraiya-sama? Not really a tough sell, is it?" he grinned cheekily; the expression was made a bit twisted by the utter certainty Gensai felt that Naruto's 'education' was also a legitimate threat, despite his assurances.

"Heh…yeah. Never worked for someone as young as you before, but you pay well, and besides you report to Jiraiya-sama," Gensai said after a moment. "I look forward to it. Having a regular paycheck'll be nice too," he added.

"I know it will. Missing-nin ain't bad at all once they know where their next meal's comin' from," Naruto smiled faintly. Some shinobi felt a bitter loathing for missing nin, but Naruto disregarded convention as usual. Probably because his first encounter with missing-nin had been Momochi Zabuza and Haku. Insofar as Naruto permitted himself to regret and dwell on the past, Haku's unnecessary death was an event often revisited. Even Zabuza's, who had achieved some measure of redemption and, it was to be hoped, peace before the end.

Naruto simply couldn't find it in his heart to dislike people he felt such rapport with.

Konoha missing-nin were a different story, of course. But Gensai was definitely not one of those, and so Naruto freed his first employee. "Now then," he said sitting back and letting Gensai stand up above him, getting the blood back to his extremities. It was another calculated gesture of utmost confidence, to allow Gensai to assume such a posture while Naruto sat. "Let's discuss tradecraft…"

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"Well that's that," Naruto declared dropping back through the hole in the ceiling. His infiltration had gone as smoothly as his exit. If Gensai were as smart as Naruto thought he was, he'd already be hoofing it towards the Earth Country where he would settle in and soon pay a visit to one of the ubiquitous Toad Shrines spotted throughout the shinobi world.

"I didn't realize you carried storage seals, Naruto-kun," Hinata said in a soft voice. It was still her watch, and she would have seen him dispose of Gensai without meaning to spy directly on him.

Hinata did not mention the murder-and-disposal aspect of his little expedition.

"Yup. Got a bunch from Ero-sennin as a birthday present on my training journey," Naruto lied smoothly. Ero-sennin's birthday presents weren't the sort of thing discussed in mixed company. He'd made the storage seal himself. Sakura, knowing a little about Naruto's extracurricular activities, seemed impressed at the artful deception, and Shino looked satisfied.

"I had wondered what had happened to my comrades," he said quietly. Of course he knew as soon as Naruto returned that he wasn't bringing Aburame insects with him. "It's alright," he said in response to an uncertain apologetic expression from Naruto. "They live in service of Konoha, just like we do. They were a precaution against surprises, and they have served their purpose."

Naruto nodded his relief, but inside he was shivering. It was disconcerting in the extreme to hear Shino talk like that, spending the lives of things he called 'comrades' so cheaply. Naruto's nindo rebelled against that, but in his heart he knew Shino as a good friend and comrade. Conversations like this he shelved in his mind with other bewildering but not necessarily bad concepts such as pacifism and vegetarianism.

"So what do we do now?" Kiba asked into the brief silence. Once upon a time he would have seized the chance at leadership, but like the others he had grown up. Strictly political diplomatic waters he could navigate, but Konoha's diplomatic envoy to Sodegaura was rapidly descending into good old-fashioned cloak-and-dagger business. Kiba was less comfortable there, preferring a stand-up fight.

"Precisely what we've been doing," Shino advised. Sakura and Hinata nodded their agreement; despite being specialists in other fields of shinobi life, neither was a fool. They were adapting to at least a novice level of this sort of game.

"Outwardly at any rate," Naruto went on. It felt good to be of accord with Shino again after that bit about his bugs. "But come tomorrow…well, today in fact, I'll investigate the location for the drop site Gensai told me about. It's our only lead and it'll probably turn up nothing, but I've got to check it out. Besides, I need to stretch my legs anyway. I'm sick of bein' cooped up in here!" This despite having just left; his complaint was regarded with indifference or exasperation, depending on where you looked.

But none of the Konoha shinobi had any doubts any longer: Naruto was the ninja for this job amongst them. He knew Sodegaura best among them, and had proven repeatedly his ability to move about it freely. With Shino remaining near the rest of the Konoha nin it would be no difficulty to create an insectile doppelganger that would cover for him in his absence, should it be necessary.

"Then I suggest we either get back to sleep or issue our reports," Hinata said when it was clear a consensus had already been reached. She was still disconcerted, and here among close friends and comrades did not trouble herself to hide it much, but this late at night was not the time to deal with the matter. _'Naruto-kun was simply doing his job, right? After all, I would have done the same had it been necessary,'_ she reassured herself, while thanking her fortune that she had not been tasked with Gensai's elimination. Given the scant information they'd gained from him, she nearly wished she'd killed him outright.

"That's a great idea, Hinata-san," Sakura nodded. "I'll call up a slug and get word to Tsunade-sama." The Hokage would summon a slug herself in just a few hours, and get the dispatch in short order.

"Yeah, and I've gotta let Ero-sennin know bout this too," Naruto added with a clench-jawed yawn. "He makes me keep him up to date on anything even remotely interesting." While this was true, Naruto's report would contain much more speculation and educated guesses than Sakura's would…as well as differing on one or two key details.

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Story Statistics:

Released: 6-12-08

Word Count: Approx. 4,300

Reviews: 132, up from 112 last chapter. Another decent jump for my story, since less than two weeks have passed. Thanks guys!

Hits: 27542, up from 26076. Another big bump!

Story Favs: 107

C2s: 42

Story Alerts: 151

Author's Notes:

Howdy readers! I'm not sure why, but these past few days my story has received a lot more traffic than it has before. I guess one of the new c2s is pretty popular, but I don't keep track of that list beyond its number, so I'm not sure. Whoever is spreading the word, thanks!

Now I realize this chapter is short on action and long on intrigue and stuff. I realize some of you may be worrying, "Crap, is he going back to the vague no-plot stuff of before?" But I assure you I am not. This chapter was designed for two purposes, mostly. The first was to move things along, and advance to the next day. It was necessary to do that because once the Konoha shinobi defeated an assassin, well obviously there would be some messy details that needed attending to. I felt it would be interesting to examine those details. As some of you will no doubt have noticed, they're starting to deal with a different group of enemies now, more dangerous and clever.

The second reason is to highlight another aspect of Naruto's development: that of a sort of field officer in Konoha's intelligence community. In other words, a budding spymaster. Jiraiya is broadly hinted at being Konoha's master of spies, and it figures to me given Naruto's skills at acting and his constant ability to surprise and get others to underestimate him that he would make an excellent field officer for this sort of thing. He's very sneaky when he wants to be.

He would not just dispose of a potentially valuable commodity like Gensai without trying to make use of him, given this role. And if the man ever appears in the story again, it will take a long time. He's a long-term investment after all. Naruto's demeanor when he dealt with disposing of Gensai will also add some tasty tension between him, Sakura, and Hinata, two who have a more emotional component to their relationship with them than Kiba and (goes without saying) Shino.

It was also fun writing a bit of tension between Shino and Naruto. I can easily imagine him being quite squeamish with some of Shino's fighting style, which depends on a whole lot of his insects dying. Fortunately Naruto knows when to trust his gut, and so it won't be a problem.

Don't worry folks, I'm not advocating against either pacifism or vegetarianism. It's just that to me, both are concepts that would be pretty baffling to Naruto who is definitely a meat-lovin' fight-startin' kinda guy.

Next chapter will be much more action packed, I promise. Naruto will go on another investigation that poses an excellent chance for going badly; the 442nd will get much closer, and depending on how long the chapter is may even arrive. This will lead to unpleasant actions by Sodegaura's leadership. We'll also be getting another look at those mines on the outskirts that I've mentioned once or twice!

Please folks, review! They're very helpful, and I enjoy reading them.


	14. Big revision of chapter!

Author's Note: Sorry guys, I'm not trying to fake you out here! It's just that I was deeply dissatisfied with the first offering of this chapter, and felt it needed drastic revision (thanks to waiting4morning for her extremely helpful review, and everyone go scope out her profile for some great stuff!) I really feel like this revision is much better, but please don't hesitate to let me know if I'm wrong.

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Ruined.

To come so close, to _succeed _yet be ruined after the fact would have been unbearable, if it had any choice but to endure.

Things had gone so well at first. It lay in wait, dormant for what might have seemed like ages if it could note the passage of time. The thrice-damned barrier was a marvel that sent it alternately into fits of rage and grudging, unspoken respect for its fallen enemy. The fortification hedged it in, kept it in check. The barrier was the subject of its failed effort. Of the only three humans it regarded as anything other than prey, it was the greatest among them who constructed the prison.

One human enemy was known as Madara of the Uchiha eyes. Eyes earned through kin slaying, a wickedness even it would not stoop to. Eyes which at their zenith could compel even it, the mightiest creature ever to roam earth, water, and sky. Even the offspring of those eyes, separated by generations and wielded by a deluded young fool could still assert some measure of dominance.

But those eyes were a trick, really. It could not help but respect (and loathe) a trick that could defeat _it_, but still just a trick. By trick of birth a bearer of such eyes could, by the same effort, achieve power greater than that of another who worked just as hard. It had no problem with that, for such was the natural order, but ultimately the will was everything. Madara possessed power but had not earned it, had not achieved that power by his will. Eventually the trick would be overcome, and Madara relegated back to prey.

The second and greatest of those humans was the one known as Yondaime Hokage. It had only recently learnt the human's name, observing and waiting for years behind the host's eyes. Namikaze Minato was spoken of only by title around the whelp, who didn't show any interest in academic study until adolescence. Things had been going well in _that_ fight, too. Its thirst for vengeance was nearly slaked when suddenly the second human enemy appeared from nowhere, a twitch in its nose for an instant sensed on the forest floor. Then he rocketed up well past the tallest of trees, billowing in smoke astride one of the Gama clan, the warrior chieftain in fact.

There was a creature it could respect, despite knowing its total dominance over the warrior chief. The human mote must have had some measure of power, as humans go, to compel the alliance of the Gama clan, but no matter. It would defeat both speck and toad in short order, though perhaps it would be a good struggle. But it was surprised. They fought, and it was as mighty a battle as it had faced in a hundred years, for none that had ever existed could best Kyuubi no Kitsune. The toad chieftain paid for daring to face the demon in battle with a terrible scar that nearly claimed an eye, and other injuries that would be long remembered. But the speck turned out to be a tiny thing with a mighty sting, bringing pain to it, _it_, the mighty Kyuubi!

And worse was yet to come as out of nowhere the stinger called up the deity of death. Kyuubi was amazed to find the god's gaze locked on _it!_ That had never happened before, but still Kyuubi felt no fear. It could not be slain by humanity or its servants, nor by demon or deity. Then the final surprise, the sign of defeat: sudden awareness that the Shinigami wasn't there to kill, but to help strike a mortal blow. Bending and twisting, shrinking and binding Kyuubi up into a host of a race famed for its many ways of dying. Kyuubi could not be killed directly, but that did not mean it had the power to resist both the stinger and the death god at once, not after a (briefly) tiring battle.

That was its second enemy, and the first defeat since it became Kyuubi not bought by some trick of birth. The Shinigami wrought no barriers, Kyuubi knew. The power that restrained it now sprang only from the mind and will of the Yondaime Hokage. The power that would kill it eventually, if it did not act.

Its third enemy earned the title only by circumstance at first, and later by baffling, unyielding will. Uzumaki Naruto was by rights a human that should be as bitter and hate-filled as all such puny, easily slain creatures ought to be. The host lacked even the pathetic comforts humans brought to one another of love and friendship and family.

Initially Kyuubi was smugly certain the captivity would not last long. Soon after he began to move about for himself and become aware of his surroundings, the host would notice the inexplicable contempt, the disdain, the ill-concealed hatred heaped upon him by all but a few. The host would then give vent to the hate and fury that was the natural outcome of such a life, and Kyuubi would be free.

But it didn't happen in the first year, or even the second. And it kept on not happening for a decade. By chance, fate, or design Uzumaki Naruto had a heart and will of a hero from his youngest days. Kyuubi had met many heroes of course, and eaten them all, but it respected even as it mocked them. The will to struggle against impossible odds and win must be honored. The host might change the world for the better if permitted, though of course Kyuubi would stop that from happening by devouring him first.

There were many close calls, times when Kyuubi seemed only centimeters away from getting a foothold past the barrier into its host's mind, but never close enough. It was maddening, for although it could not mark the passage of time the way humans did, Kyuubi _did_ know that should the host die with it inside, the peerless and immortal Kyuubi would die, actually _die_ as well.

So countless times it tried to break the barrier by the method that had failed only once before the captivity: brute force. To no avail, for the barrier was as unyielding as steel to butter. If Kyuubi had ten thousand millennia, it might still be unable to force its way through directly.

But if the Yondaime thought that _only_ its chakra slipped through the barrier, ever-so-slowly merging with the host's own reserve, he was deceived. Emotion, too, could be not just sent but received. And what was unyielding and permanent as the concept of change from Kyuubi's side of the barrier was, under the right circumstances, a matter of tearing a sheet of paper from a gate on the other side. So Kyuubi would know when the time came to strike, and take its opportunity.

It had to wait until the host began his first steps on the soldier's path before a chance presented itself. Mortal danger and adrenaline would be his means of entry. First there was the masked boy, the wielder of ice in daggers and needles and mirrors. But fortune favored the host that day, and the masked warrior turned out to share a strong bond with him. Kyuubi would gain only a brief, incomplete freedom that day.

Other chances presented themselves, and Kyuubi tried to seize them all. There was the disguised male in the primeval forest, then the bitter and hateful white-eyed whelp in the arena. And finally the one the host called brother in his heart. The emotion was strongest there, but _too_ strong: Kyuubi could not get past the host's infinite desire to save the brother without killing him. Its power was called upon without its will. Despite that outrage, progress was being made.

And then the greatest chance, the one that came closest to success: the snake-scented male from the forest appeared again. Only this time, the emotion was much greater. Host and hosted were craftier, so there would be no stopping them, no tricky seals laid over the first. But most important of all was that all the emotion tied to the brother was still present, but without conditions. The host saw no reason not to kill _this_ human. No burning desire to save restrained Kyuubi this time, because to save _was_ to kill.

The snake-man was wily, wicked, cunning, and tenacious. Despite being unable to kill him outright, Kyuubi felt sure he would die in short order. Even other bijuu could be harmed by the toxicity of his essence, by its amazing lethality. The fight was over, with a strong beachhead established in the host's mind. Next time would be easier, with the time after that easier still, and soon, one fight or a hundred down the road, Kyuubi would be freed by psychological weakness triggered in the host.

And then the host discovered the near-death of the pink-haired female. The screeching, pummeling, once disdainful teammate he loved beyond good taste or reason. The host learned that _he_ had struck the blow that nearly killed the female, learned that she kept it from him to protect him. _Him_, who had nearly killed her! He vowed then and there to never, ever, no matter what, wield Kyuubi's chakra so long as there was even a chance that one of his 'precious people' was nearby. The host even termed it a 'promise of a lifetime'.

And so the effort was ruined. Kyuubi knew better than most the stock to place in _that_ promise. But even in that promise there was a loophole, a chink in the armor. Though the host delighted in being near his comrades, still there would surely come a time when he was alone. There would be a time when Kyuubi could strike, this time strictly with whispers and emotion, no chakra or transformations.

Just because Kyuubi favored a brute force attack did not mean it could not adapt to something different…

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Uzumaki Naruto had his Way of the Ninja, his Nindo, and he would not break it while he lived. He had such faith in it that he often behaved as though he _couldn't_ break it, like it was literally impossible. Kabuto learned that to his sorrow when he tried to murder the Godaime Hokage.

But what couldn't be broken might be bent by necessity. Such was the case on the morning after Naruto employed his very first spy, a missing-nin named Gensai. His comrades thought he'd 'silenced' the man as protocol demanded. It hurt to deceive them, but no matter how much he wished otherwise, he couldn't break security. Unlike his classified study of fuinjutsu, telling _this_ secret wouldn't just endanger him.

One of Ero-sennin's adages was that the security of anything covert was proportional to the _square_ of the number of those who knew about it. Lives were at stake, so safeguards must be maintained. Given truths like that, Naruto sometimes wished things were different. Sakura-chan was very lucky in some ways. _Her_ training didn't demand keeping secrets and lying to friends, at least no more than most shinobi specialties. Whereas studying under the Sannin renowned for intelligence-gathering didn't just require but _thrived _on it.

But he was not so troubled that he doubted the necessity of doing it. Years ago Naruto made a vow to protect his precious people no matter what. Not long after that, on his first real shinobi mission, he learned that sometimes enduring wasn't enough. Enduring hurt – a _lot_, sometimes – but after so long it was almost a pleasure. Every blow struck against him was a blow _not_ struck against his friends and home.

Sometimes to truly protect, though, Naruto realized he wouldn't just have to endure terrible things, but _do_ them as well if necessary. It's a lesson he's very uncomfortable with, and struggles to embrace, but when push comes to shove he abides. The first time came when he decided to kill Haku, even though it was clear the older shinobi wouldn't fight back.

He would abide by the lesson again, by lying to one of his first precious people. Encouraging her to think he had it in him to do murder with a smile. It tested his most fundamental beliefs to do even that much. He was the one who had to start the conversation; clearly Sakura-chan was confused, and didn't want to criticize a necessary decision even if she was unhappy with it.

"Sakura-chan, I don't like it when you look at me that way," Naruto said sadly. It was a good way to start, since it wasn't even a lie.

Sakura looked stricken. "Naruto, it's not like that, OK? I mean, I don't blame you. You did what you had to. Gensai had to die; we couldn't risk his employers finding out how talked." She grasped his shoulder hesitantly. "It's _really_ important to me that you understand that, OK? I don't hate you for it. I'm not even angry at you or disappointed or anything like that. That would be stupid, got it?"

Naruto could tell she at least _wanted_ to mean it, but that wasn't always the same thing as really meaning it. He was an excellent judge of people. "Sakura-chan, I believe you. It's just when you look at me like that, I can tell that deep down you _are_ disappointed in me. Or something. I can't put my finger on it, but it's there. And I understand, it's OK. But…I still don't like it when you look at me that way. That's all. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Damnit! OK, maybe in my gut or something I _am_ disappointed, but my gut is stupid sometimes!" she exclaimed. Inner-Sakura was mercifully silent. "Look, for years my gut told me all sorts of stupid shit, like how a small dress size and long hair was just as important as being a good soldier! Alright? So if you don't like it when I look at you that way…well, smack me or something! Don't just stare at me like I just killed your puppy, I can't stand it!"

Naruto grinned wryly. The stupidity of _ever_ putting hands on Sakura-chan uninvited aside, he knew he'd never find it in him to do that to her. Even imagining her doing something to deserve it was beyond him. When Naruto falls, he falls hard. "Geeze, Sakura-chan, maybe _your_ gut's stupid but mine sure ain't! Smack you? Now I _know_ you're mad at me, because obviously you want to trick me into getting' my ass kicked!"

She couldn't help it. A snicker snuck past her firm expression of reproval. "Snrk," she chortled in spite of herself. "Goddamnit! There you go again. I'm trying to be serious and you laugh it up. OK. OK," she giggled again, getting control of herself. Sometimes she felt like a crazy woman, the confusion and uncertainty she felt around those closest to her, when they weren't in a fight for their lives at least. _'It's not our fault they're all basket cases!_' Inner-Sakura proclaimed. "I know you've got to go, so we can talk about this later, alright? I just wanted you to know that I'm OK with what you did. There wasn't anything wrong with it. I never meant to make you think I was critical or something."

"It's fine Sakura-chan, I understand. Forget about it, OK? I know I was actin' weird about it, but Ero-sennin made sure I knew what had to happen in just that kinda situation. I guess that's why I worried you actin' all weird and stuff. You didn't know I was gettin' ready to get rid of Gensai from the moment I saw him. But it wasn't easy," he concluded reluctantly. It really wasn't easy. Nothing about this was easy. Now he just wanted to put Sodegaura behind him. He started doing that by hurriedly finishing his breakfast.

Team 8 had eaten already then left, off for more diplomatic intrigue. Hopefully continuing that farce would serve a purpose, as Gensai's failure was sure to stir up stress amongst their enemies. After some very visible guard duty, Team 7 then stayed behind for their own meal. During their meal the subject of Naruto's smiling plans to terminate Gensai surfaced.

In retrospect Naruto knew it was a mistake to adopt his usual almost unconscious 'hide it with a smile' approach, but there was nothing to do about it now. He'd been focusing more on how to handle the seduction of Gensai than the concerns of his comrades. The smile was automatic. As it was, only Shino appeared comfortable with last night's work. Kiba had been surprised, but Hinata and Sakura had for some reason been stunned and maybe even hurt.

But like Sakura said, there was work to be done. She was due at one of the local hospitals to lend her expertise and win over hearts and minds, as well as gathering information from chatty doctors. Much could be learned from them. Meanwhile a clone of Naruto's was due at a park for training alongside Gamakichi, to be seen by all. He might even find a bunch of kids to play with, in which case Naruto looked forward to the memories. It was one of his secret pleasure that mostly went unfulfilled, being around and playing with kids. There was so little of that for him growing up.

As for the 'genuine article' Naruto, he had work of his own. Hopefully he would turn up the spy who made contact with Gensai and arranged for the assassination, and capitalize on Hinata's victory.

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The work turned out to be a lot of effort to no gain at all. After taking precautions to avoid detection, namely repeated clever use of henge no jutsu, he visited the dead-drop site and found nothing. His search for Gensai's contact predictably turned up the same result. Even the extra searchers provided by careful application of kage bunshin didn't help, because so many women fit the description. Either the women he followed were what they seemed or one was a gifted intelligence officer operating right under his nose.

Clearly there wasn't any use continuing this search. With that decision made, he headed over to the park and made the switch with his shadow clone. When the clone dispelled, Naruto got some surprising information that he struggled to evaluate while he continued playing with the kids. Some suspicious characters were eyeballing the park, but the strange thing was that the men were interested in the children, not the Konoha strangers. Beyond trying feebly to avoid notice they paid the shinobi and toad no mind.

Giving the kids another once-over, he couldn't imagine why. A more ragged, disreputable gaggle of urchins Naruto rarely saw. They were about as ill-kempt and rude as he'd been himself at that age, which could be considered an accomplishment of sorts given the trouble he got into and the neglect he'd endured as a child. Unfortunately the kids matched the neighborhood; it was a poor part of town.

Naruto chose to look into the matter. His other efforts had turned up nothing, and his gut told him this situation _needed _looking into. He didn't like to remember back to his childhood much, but he did know one thing: without the shield of Old Man Hokage and his ANBU Corps, Naruto's childhood might've been very different. For the worse.

_Kichi._

_Yeah, bro?_

_Keep close eye on kids for me. Checking out men watching. Suspicious._

_OK. But don't know what you mean._

Konoha's shinobi hand-speech was very useful, though sometimes it failed to convey nuances of meaning. Naruto didn't have the time or patience to try and describe to his friend who he was going to check out or why, and it was doubtful the toad would understand anyway. Even shinobi human customs could sometimes be baffling to summoned creatures, much less _civilian_ human customs. But at least now, without saying a word, Gamakichi would watch out for the kids alongside Naruto's shadow clone while he went to sniff out the motive for this strange surveillance before anything actually happened.

Naruto looked up to the Sandaime in many ways and tried to emulate him. Nicknamed 'Professor', it was no surprise that Sandaime was very proactive when it came to children, and Naruto tried to copy that. After a quarter-hour's careful watching, it was clear that his fears were justified, though not as he'd imagined.

At first he feared the presence of a gang in the area, one looking to round up some children for conscription. That sort of thing wasn't uncommon in criminal societies in poorer neighborhoods. A little force up front to get the recruits in the door, followed by some crude efforts at seduction and the next generation of thugs got into the game.

But the men watching weren't the gang type, not according to Naruto's considerable experience. Ero-sennin spent a lot of time in bad parts of town, so his disciple had a good idea of what to look for. No tattoos, flashy clothes or jewelry, no expressions of scumbag defiance. These men were too clean-cut, though they dressed to fit the neighborhood. They were all in good shape or close to it, and in the prime of life. He saw hidden weapons in excellent repair. Something was off; they clearly weren't just criminals, but if not what were they?

_'Good thing I've always got a friend nearby.'_ Sometimes when Naruto left his shadow clones to their own devices, they wandered around instead of dispelling once their job was done. It got him into trouble, like the many times a shadow clone dined and dashed at Ichiraku, but once in awhile it was helpful.

This was one of those times. Glancing across the street, he spotted himself disguised as a civilian. The clone probably decided to check out the town and gravitated (like the original) towards the playing kids. The _new _clone, the one masquerading as the real Naruto, was having a great time playing 'Mr. Daruma Fell Down!' If Naruto knew his clones at all, the disguised newcomer was envious. The game grew much more exciting with a high-flying massive toad in the mix. More shinobi hand-signs ordered the other clone to remain in nearby.

The three Narutos, two shadow clones and the original, lingered at the park for hours, one playing, one waiting, and one watching. The strange men didn't make any sort of move, but they didn't leave, either. It was easy to sense the frustration mounting among them. Unfortunately he couldn't stick around all day, and he couldn't leave the children to the unknown mercies of their observers. Something would have to be done, but what? How to get the kids away safely without arousing any suspicion?

Then he remembered just how much police disliked ratty-looking rowdy kids, even when those kids weren't making any real mischief at all. He figured it was in a policeman's handbook somewhere: move people along, right besides 'look important' and 'catch criminals'. But for that he needed two things: a police officer without any real work to do, and a heavy dose of irritation. And it had to be fast, too; hours had passed since breakfast and he was due back for lunch with Sakura-chan pretty soon.

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Some days Kiyokawa Hachirō just knew he should've been a firefighter and not a police officer. Today was one of those days.

"Get back here you little pissant! Give back what you stole or I'll take it out of your hide, damnit!" he bellowed. Achieving a real bellow was an impressive feat since he was running, puffing, and wheezing at the same time after the filthy street rat fleeing ahead of him. The little punk had turned purse snatcher, the victim an old woman who was quite vitriolic in her curses of the kid, her miserable fortune, and of Officer Kiyokawa himself for not having somehow prevented the theft before it happened. She even threatened to lay into him with her cane if he didn't 'Get your lazy butt in gear and get back my purse, you…you…crossing guard!'

Hachirō's mother didn't raise a son to let little old ladies down, and his pride wouldn't stomach getting harangued in public anyway. He was a little proud that he'd managed to keep up for several blocks, since he'd been sure he'd lose the kid almost at once. Suddenly he broke out into another street and looked around, clutching his own knees and gasping for breath while trying to see.

Figures! The punk was gone, vanished like a fart in the wind, and now Hachirō had to look forward to being yelled at by an old lady too stupid to get a proper strap for her handbag. While he cursed his _own_ fate, he noted a group of laughing, giggling kids just as bratty as the brat who'd eluded him playing some stupid kid game in a park across the street. Along with some obnoxious foreigner and a giant _obviously_ foreign toad of all things, too!

"Hey! You kids keep it down over there!" he bellowed imperiously. The kids and not a few citizens going about their business gaped at him a moment, and with some rude gestures the kids vanished as well, melting into the streets. Feeling a bit mollified, he went back to where he was sure the old woman would be waiting, but she was gone.

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"What's got you so cheery, Naruto?" Sakura asked over a shared lunch. She was a lot more comfortable around him now, after the morning's awkwardness; she didn't bring it up.

"Oh y'know Sakura-chan. I just did my good deed for the day," Naruto chuckled in response.

"What, did we enter a recession? When did you cut back to just one?"

It was a moment before he could respond, gorging heartily on ramen. In a sort of running game between the two of them, meals shared were usually an exercise in restraint and escalation. Naruto could eat with joyous abandon, but doing so risked the fearsome wrath of his comrade. Surrounded by men and trained by Tsunade, she felt the urge sometimes (often) to keep them on their toes and try to lift them at least a _bit_ above 'snarling baboons' in the manners department. Naruto was pushing it, but she was in a generous mood and curious to know what he was talking about.

"Ahhmm!" Naruto groaned in satisfaction, patting his belly. Sated, he knew he wouldn't be hungry again until dinner…unless the savory scent of ramen should waft beneath his nose sooner, that is. "Well we're on the job, Sakura-chan," Naruto pointed out sagely, an effect that was mitigated by clothing spattered with ramen broth. "So I had to hold myself to just helping the police discourage public rowdiness," he nodded with satisfaction.

"Rowdiness? What are you talking about? Since when do _you_ discourage 'rowdiness'?"

"Sakura-chan, that hurts! I'm a deep believer in law, order, and decorum. You know that. Anyway, it's not important. All my real work got me a big lot of nothing, how bout you? Learn anything juicy at the hospital?" _'Take the bait, take the bait,'_ he urged her silently. He didn't want to tell her what his _extra _work had turned up.

Her expression grew more serious. She had no reason to think he was up to something, so she was easily distracted. "Yeah, I did in fact. Well, maybe; I hardly know what to make of it. There aren't quite _shortages_ of medical supplies from nurse gossip, but it's right on the cusp. I didn't have time to really dig into it, though. I don't know what it means, but it's got to be a sign of something. Any suggestions?"

Naruto basked at being consulted by _Sakura-chan_ on _anything, _then remembered to look thoughtful. Sakura wasn't the sort to turn down knowledge, but she almost always knew the answer already in his experience. "Well, gotta be a reason for the decrease. No fires or anything that'd hurt production, so there's really only one answer: corruption. Either the stuff ain't getting' made and someone pockets the cash, or it _is_ being made but ain't goin' where it should. In this goddamn town, who knows?" Naruto wasn't very concerned. It was a fact to note, but posed no threat he could see to him and his. Not above what they'd already learned at least.

"Hmm. Well I guess from what Team 8's been telling us, widespread corruption in Sodegaura shouldn't be a surprise, right?"

"Right. Still, what you're talkin' about sounds like clever work. Don't sound like 'ordinary' corruption, y'know?"

"Maybe so. I've never really worked an investigation mission before, though. You mean the cutbacks are too careful?"

"Yeah. I mean, whoever's doin' it must have a real good idea what he can take without gettin' caught, right? The only way even you noticed was cause you were lookin' and listenin' for _anything_ unusual," he explained. Even in a corrupt system, there was only so much that could be stolen.

"Mmm. Yes, I think that sounds about right. Geeze Naruto, why can't you stumble on a _medical_ mystery, something I can handle that leaves you clueless?" Sakura pouted half-seriously. While happy her teammate had learned so much with Jiraiya, she hated feeling like she wasn't contributing. She'd had enough of _that _as a genin, thank you very much!

"C'mon Sakura-chan, don't be silly! You save people's lives easier than I snap my fingers. You even break stuff better than me!" She had the good grace to flush slightly at his praise. It was only true, after all. Sometimes she just needed a little pick-me-up, just like he did. "Besides, we've got reports to make, right?" As much as he enjoyed time with Sakura-chan, he had other work to do this afternoon and needed to move things along.

"Yeah. I'll get a slug to circulate the report to the others. Tsunade-sama will have it next time she calls one up, which should be in a few hours if not sooner."

"Good. Then it's back to the hospital I suppose?"

"Yeah. Intelligence-gathering aside, they really could use the help. Nothing special there, just the usual problems in a civilian hospital. People are waiting too long over there," Sakura said bitterly. Shinobi hospitals were, like shinobi themselves, superhumanly efficient, and anything short of superb when it came to medicine was high on her list of dislikes.

"Too bad. Oh well, more ramen for me then!" he exclaimed to an exasperated groan.

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"Name yourself and your organization," a cold voice commanded the captive.

_That's the way. Sometimes with some people, mercy is neither effective nor merited._

There were some jounin, and even the odd ANBU on an off day that Naruto could sneak up on if he really in the zone. Ero-sennin called him a 'savant' at stealth. He hadn't learned what that meant until later, but reading _that_ word in the dictionary definitely rated as one of his favorite all-time moments reading. The Pervy Sage was grudging with praise.

So it was simplicity itself to observe, stalk, and apprehend the man he rated as second-in-command of the little group. It was safe to assume he would know a great deal about what was going on without being as carefully watched as the leader should he need to impersonate the man later. At first he was reluctant to exercise shinobi skills against a man with no shinobi training, even if he was a criminal. It didn't seem fair. Juggernauts he could handle, in fact he enjoyed facing them; against pipsqueaks he sort of felt like a bully.

The reluctance evaporated when he realized the man was closing in on someone. The target was a child, a little girl selling matchsticks and flowers on a busy street. It was a euphemistic job that really meant 'beggar'. Eyes Hyuuga Neji once complimented had no difficulty spotting the signs of malnutrition, and worse, the intense totally in-the-moment desperation of someone both helpless and right on the edge. Her would-be victimizer drew slowly closer, without anyone but Naruto seeming to notice. The man darted glances around the area, looking for a chance.

_Look at this vulture. Even though his target is a defenseless little speck, still he holds back. He can bear to attack a child, but not have it seen. Coward._

No child should have to eke out a 'living' by begging in a city home to such wealth, and _certainly_ no child should be stalked by some strange armed man bent on gods knew what. _'Well not for much longer, kid. I just wish I could do more,'_ Naruto lamented. Even the One Man Army had limits; the best he could do for social justice was help excise the rot in Sodegaura.

_Starting with him. Remember Moegi-chan, how frightened she was to be taken. She was in the Academy, but still innocent. A child. How close the kidnapper came to success. You stopped that after it happened. Now you can stop this _before_ it happens. What of the man's helplessness against you? He uses his pitiful strength against the helpless, so he should know the same might be done to him. _Anything_ you need to do to stop him is acceptable. After all, what sort of man targets children?_

Ambushing the man was easier than sneaking through a coma ward. No longer did Naruto feel any qualms about stringing the man up in the room they shared for questioning, binding him irresistibly and adding a persuasive coil of shinobi wire round his neck for good measure. The little begging girl even looked a bit like Moegi-chan, now that he thought about it.

_This time you can stop it _before_ it happens._ To a young man like Naruto who knew, just _knew_ that if he'd known more, done more, his brother wouldn't have had to leave, stopping tragedy before it happened was a powerful thought.

So he didn't bat an eye at the man's terrified response to his first demand: "N-no! They'll kill me, you're crazy if you think I'll talk to you!" wheezed the prisoner. Since he'd been garroted nearly tight enough to strangle, the exclamation in his voice could only be inferred. The man targeted children.

Anything was permissible. _Everything_ was permissible, now.

"This will be the last time I repeat myself to you. They _might _kill you _later _if they find out about this. I will _definitely _kill you _now _if you don't answer me. If you talk, someone gets to identify your clean body and your family doesn't live in uncertainty. Or you can keep quiet and end up so mangled even the hogs I feed you to will turn up their snouts." He made the promise to the man with a predatory smile, one that said he _wanted_ resistance.

_Not that way. First use the stick, and then offer the carrot. He'll still die no matter what, of course – he's less than human, after all – but you need what's in his head and an offer is the way to get it. No shame in lying to a…creature like this. The shame would be in flinching at what must be done to save the child._

Yes, that made sense. What would Naruto have done, if he could've prevented Moegi-chan's brief kidnapping before it happened? Anything effective, that's what.

"If you're _very_ cooperative and useful, you may even buy yourself a life of exile with all your parts attached. Name yourself and your organization," Naruto commanded again. It felt…strange somehow to offer mercy. Usually he always wanted to offer leniency, a second or third or sixth chance but right now the idea felt weak, foolish, and incompetent. But he didn't need to think about that right now; the prisoner hadn't yet spoken.

"OK, OK, alright! Gck!" the prisoner gasped. The wire pulled brutally against his neck at the instinctive struggle, squeezing in a way that was painful just to look at. "My name is Kohei Oka. My group's called 'Sodegaura First!'" He then named Ambitiously Ugly as its chief (but secret) patron. 'Sodegaura First!' was nothing Naruto had ever heard of, which meant that despite its political-sounding name it was probably just a front.

"What is your rank and assignment?" To add incentive, he gave a little slack to his shinobi wire garrote.

"C-corporal! Security, local excursions, human acquisitions," Oka gasped, struggling a bit less for air now, but not by much.

The sharp stench of urine and feces filled the small room at the furious, hateful expression on Naruto's face at the phrase 'human acquisitions'. Everything disappeared from reality except himself, the room, and Oka. For Oka all that existed was a face, indistinct save strange eyes and slashed cheeks. It slipped into his mind and loosed bowels, bladder, and tongue.

"How long have you worked for them? Describe your activities in detail."

_And if you don't, if you _don't_ cooperate completely and without hesitation…see what I'll do. Just you see._

Oka couldn't imagine holding anything else back, not faced with this murderous adolescent with a killer's gaze_. _"Less than t-two years. Ghck! We make sure local merchants pay their share to the minister, maintain security for him and his friends…" Oka flinched in dread when Naruto drew closer while he spoke. The scar-faced shinobi knelt almost nose-to-nose with him, hot angry breath a stark punctuation to his questions.

So political, but personal politics. A bunch of enforcers for Ambitiously Ugly and possibly others. The minister would have to be dealt with.

All Oka longed for now was a quick, clean death. What little courage he had went to achieving that, but he was a coward and so continued to make excuses. "We also conscript undesirables for work in the mines. I-I never killed any of them, I sw-ghhhhk!" Oka's promises were cut off as the wire drew tight enough to draw a bit of blood.

"You didn't kill, just kidnapped and enslaved. You're a real humanitarian. But why the mines? Why _children_?" Naruto demanded.

"T-they need…need them f-for the smaller tunnels! T-the m-most dangerous work. Won't…be…missed…" Another murderous, hateful scowl at that.

"We'll come back to that later. Tell me all you know about the mines, security checkpoints, names, times, entrances and exits, numbers of people, everything. I also want to hear about you personally."

Oka knew his only hope now was to make the 'later' a very brief experience by total cooperation.

About twenty minutes later the interrogation was complete. Naruto knew everything Oka did about the mines and 'Sodegaura First!'; a great deal about the former, not much about the latter. He'd also learned some biographical details about his captive, including his love of gambling and booze, and the enemies made enjoying both. It was a lucky break.

_No. Not luck. 'Men' of this sort are the same everywhere. But now…now it's 'later', remember?_

"That everything?"

"Y-yes!"

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I swear!"

_Remember how she screamed for help, the way her pupils dilated. Moegi-chan looked so much smaller in the kidnapper's grip. Still a child, but a child of ninja, you could see that she knew what might happen to her. Always looking up to you, ever since Konohamaru. You saved her, but if you'd been better she would not have _needed_ saving. This creature, this Oka, many children have been victim to his kidnappings. How many has he sent to die?_

_Time to let him feel what he's been doing._

"Good boy." With that Naruto tightened the garrote just enough to barely pierce Oka's windpipe, then followed up by stabbing him with a kunai in the stomach. Which he then twisted. His captive was gradually strangling to death and even if he weren't, the gut wound was mortal too. He might drown on his own blood, or suffocate. Or if Naruto was especially lucky, bleed to death. "And now it's later," he said with a chilly smile, pulling a small piece of paper out of a pouch.

Oka's eyes glazed with shock and pain, overriding any expression. Too bad. Leaning over him, Naruto slapped his cheek and made sure they were making eye contact. "Hey! Stay with me, Oka-san! Listen! You're going to die of these wounds slowly and in total darkness. You won't be able to see anything, and the only sounds you'll hear will be your own gasps for breath. In the next life, remember this lesson I'm teaching you: Don't. Hurt. Children. Be grateful I didn't have time to make it more comprehensive."

With that, what was an expedient act of mercy for Gensai became a cruel gesture of sadism for Oka. Thrusting his chakra into the seal, Naruto sent Kohei Oka into the storage space with enough air to last an hour, more than enough time. "Die slowly in agony," he growled bitterly at the piece of paper. As he'd said, his only regret was that he didn't have more time to be more thorough.

First he would need to dispose of Oka's body properly, making it seem as though one of his enemies had robbed then killed him. After all, Konoha's diplomatic expedition could ill afford _this. _Then it would be time to continue his lesson elsewhere. Reveling in the certainty that Oka and his friends deserved any cruelty he could give them and more, Naruto couldn't wait.

_Remember Naruto: fear works best and lasts longest. Maybe sometimes inspiring people and setting a good example will work, that's true…but you know better than most the world doesn't always work that way._

Yes, that was certainly true. Sometimes it _didn't_ work that way. Not unless someone killed the people who prevented it from working that way.

Uzumaki Naruto had work to do in Sodegaura's mines. In another deep, dark place a deep, patient, malevolent will, unseen but not unfelt, chuckled in satisfaction.

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Story Statistics:

Released: 6-19-2008 initially, 25th for revision

Word Count: Approx. 7000, up from 5000. Yikes! I hope it's not too long, I really do. Lemme know!

Reviews: 164, up from 132. Thanks guys! Please keep it up, I enjoy hearing from anyone reading.

Hits: 34217, 1284 on last chapter. Wow!

Story Favs: 130

C2s: 54. Man, that's a MAJOR increase! I believe I owe part of that to a forum a bud of mine plugged my story on, 'TFF' I want to say? I'm sure I'm misremembering the acronym…I'll correct it later.

Story Alerts: 169

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Author's Notes: 

Whew! That was an intense revision. Not something I've ever done before, taking down a chapter and replacing it, but I felt it necessary. The Orochimaru&Co prelude will be saved for another chapter.

The first thing I changed was that, obviously. It didn't quite seem to fit, and when I thought about this chapter there was something that needed establishing more: Kyuubi's activity. Until this revision, my plan had been to make Naruto go seriously stone-cold killer in the latter sections of this story, which would be attributed somewhat to Kyuubi. My plan for doing this was to show the action but not the motivations.

That just didn't work. Maybe a better author could pull it off, but not me, and anyway I think a lot of people guessed Kyuubi was at least partially responsible for the torturing going on, so there wasn't much point in trying to keep that a surprise.

The other changes were with the scene breaks, which I tried (and hopefully succeeded) in making smoother and less choppy, and the last segment. With waiting4morning's inspiration, I decided to play off of Moegi's brief fake kidnapping, something that happened a LONG time ago in canon shortly before the Chuunin Exams in Part 1. But Naruto never knew it was fake. All he knew was that one of his friends, a nearly-helpless little girl in fact, was kidnapped. But Kyuubi was there too, and even though it probably knows that kidnapping was not what it seemed, it could certainly use the memory to spur its host on.

I'm eager to hear what folks thought of the conversation between Sakura and Naruto. It's an important part of their development, so any commentary at all is greatly appreciated.

In my story, Teams 7 and 8 are of course well-trained shinobi. When it comes to straight-up combat, they all have the psychological training to do what must be done to accomplish the mission. However, not all of them have been trained for so-called 'wet-work'. Not yet at least. Shino has the mentality for it, but Hinata and Sakura do not, not without training.

I wanted to address one of the most tiresome and annoying aspects of so much of Naruto fanfiction (for me): that as a child, Naruto was routinely attacked by bloodthirsty mobs or even subjected to sexual abuse. Well, sorry folks who want Naruto to have that much more reason to angst: that kind of shit just wouldn't fly under Sandaime. You think he didn't have ANBU watching Konoha's jinchuuriki? Of course he did. You think his ANBU weren't loyal to him, and would report such things? You think Sandaime would tolerate for even a moment something like that?

But that does not mean that the threat might have been there…

On a normal shinobi bodyguard assignment, Naruto and Sakura would both be required to remain near their charges at all times. This is not a normal assignment; Konoha's diplomats bringing their bodyguards _everywhere_ would be a serious insult. 

Also, some of you may be thinking that Naruto's behavior in the last section of this chapter is remarkably out of character, a MAJOR change from his ordinary self. Well, you'd be right!:) He would not normally be this angry with anyone, but this is an extreme circumstance…and perhaps there's something that would exploit this situation, Naruto being faced with a man who was so foul and disgusting that just about _anything_ he could do to him would be justified.

I wonder who or what would benefit from that sort of thing?  Guesses are welcome, though with that hinting it should be easy.


	15. Chapter 11: The upset stomach

_Not far from Sodegaura, Lord Itakura's capital…_

"Shinobi reinforcements for the 442nd," a weary looking young shinobi intoned for the second time. The soldier replied by pointing towards the center of the column. "Thanks," she replied with a tired smile. The distance her squad of a dozen Konoha chuunin had traveled to rendezvous with the 442nd was short in kilometers, but long in weariness considering they'd traveled under 'forced march' conditions, which for shinobi was very quickly indeed. The conclusion of their hasty journey was to report to the regimental commander, who led his army from the middle when they marched.

The whole squad looked forward to serving under him, a sign of the colonel's fame. There was generally resentment or at least feelings of superiority when shinobi worked directly alongside the conventional military – in Hi no Kuni such joint missions hadn't happened in years aside from training exercises– but Kawaguchi Kiyotake was to the conventional military as Hatake Kakashi was to shinobi. The Konoha chuunin could already see signs of it before even meeting the man: his five thousand men moved with a discipline, speed, and relative quiet rarely seen in a military expedition of this size. Not _shinobi_ level of course, but for men who couldn't use chakra it was impressive nonetheless. Readiness too was high; even in their home country the 442nd prudently deployed many outriders and scouts all around the column.

News traveled faster than the men who told it. A Konoha jounin, kitted out for any circumstance, appeared and beckoned them onward. He was polite enough to unmask his presence before he actually appeared, so as not to jitter the squad's nerves. "I'm part of the Colonel's bodyguard," he introduced himself after conveying the standard subtle authentication signs and receiving them in turn from the squad. Not a gregarious fellow, he didn't introduce himself by name and they didn't ask. "Right this way," he ordered and they followed gratefully. Anticipation warred with exhaustion the closer they got, which they measured by the rank of those around them. There was no litter, no wagon to mark the Colonel's presence. For such a high-value target, that sort of luxury would be suicidal. There was only a dust-covered gray-haired man astride an equally dusty but excellent horse.

"Colonel, Chuunin Squad 391 as ordered," the senior chuunin reported respectfully without a salute. Salutes got men like the Colonel killed sometimes.

"Good to see you. Colonel Kawaguchi Kiyotake," he introduced needlessly. His voice was strong with the potential for battlefield commands. "You twelve made excellent time," he said with a complimentary nod. His jounin bodyguard faded into the background then disappeared with an ease that seemed casual but wasn't. "So before we get down to business, what news of Konoha?" he asked with a glint in his eye. A man who was always hungry for information, even the Colonel didn't often get the chance to hear news from Konohagakure directly from its citizens.

"I'm sorry Colonel, I'm afraid there's not a lot we can tell you. We just wrapped up a scout-sentry tour in the KSZ, and we hadn't even all moved back into the home barracks before we got called to Tsunade-sama's office for this assignment. You probably know the news better than we do," the chuunin replied. The young shinobi was grateful for his ignorance now, since it stopped him from having to prevaricate to one of Fire Country's heroes. It would've been unpleasant, but generally no shinobi likes giving out information on his home, not even to loyal comrades.

"Ahh, that's unfortunate," the commander replied. He didn't appear surprised. "Well, to business then. Our orders take us to Sodegaura on the border, and as you know we're nearly there. This is no place for a full briefing, so it'll have to wait. For now you'll coordinate with my bodyguards who also command my recon troops. This evening we'll get you briefed in as far as we can. One note before you get started, though: you're on a war footing now. The 442nd is _always_ on a war footing, no matter the time or place. That's how we've stayed alive so long. I'm sure as shinobi you'll be accustomed to that level of discipline and," he smiled sardonically, "paranoia. Dismissed."

This time a different jounin appeared from a different patch of nowhere and issued assignments to the squad leader before dispersing into the ether (or so it seemed) once more. Out on assignment, you didn't find jounin, jounin found you. "Right, you heard the man, let's get moving," the leader ordered his comrades. "Standard deployment to all points, standard comm protocols. Let's show the 442nd that Squad 319 is worth its salt!"

"Yes, sir!" they replied proudly. It was something of a cheesy pep-talk, but Konoha shinobi loved that stuff…and stepping into the martial legend that was the 442nd put them deeper in the mood. Just being around the Colonel with his gravitas and his complete command of the situation put an extra spring in their step and steel in their spines. After a tedious tour in the KSZ, the 319th squad was eager to place themselves between the Fire Country and its enemies.

One young woman in the squad, after a strangely personal and unexpected meeting with her Hokage, had an extra reason for anticipation. It hadn't been long, but Sakaki Maaya already looked forward to seeing Naruto again.

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While the shinobi of Iwagakure were unrivalled masters of underground combat, there were advantages all shinobi enjoyed when beneath the earth. Little light created heavy shadow and favored many infiltration techniques, especially if dealing with civilians or conventional forces. In addition it was easier to remain downwind in a mine than on the surface, where the wind might shift at a moment's notice; underground airflow was easily tracked and predicted. At first that made things difficult for Naruto, since no matter how silently he stalked those deeper within the mine _would_ be able to smell him if they had the noses for it. But for whatever reason, security was nowhere near tight enough to trouble a competent shinobi. Even genin could infiltrate these mines without difficulty, which was fortunate since he didn't quite dare to use chakra-intensive techniques until he knew the surroundings.

But he wasn't here for the poorly defended upper mines; his self-assigned mission was in the newest digs where the richest strikes were to be found. There too he would find the worst safety precautions and the least tested tunnels. According to Oka, the most disobedient laborers were sent to work along with the smallest adults and children.

Oka tried to point out without success that the small adults and children weren't sent there for punishment, but expedience. It was a mistake he didn't regret for long. Deeper excavations meant narrower tunnels and more delicate working conditions, which called for smaller hands and bodies. Another meaty red tidbit gleaned from Oka was that the further one got, the tighter security grew. The powers that be in Sodegaura had nothing to hide near the surface, where the workers were just underpaid victims of pressgangs and convicts. Coal was mined there by the ton.

But long ago, millions of years in fact, what would become Sodegaura was the caldera of a volcano. The consequences of such a geological history included, far beneath the surface, an immense and fabulously rich trove of diamonds. But, as any skilled investigator could tell you, for every shiny facet of a precious stone there was often a bit of villainy large or small to match. Such was the case for Sodegaura. Discovered by sheer random luck, Lord Itakura knew that if word should reach Hi no Kuni's daimyo, law and custom would demand a rich outflow of tribute, and an influx of increased daimyo influence in the presence of guards, bureaucrats, and merchants such a discovery would bring. Even though the difference in profit would be negligible when all was said and done, for of course the daimyo prudently wouldn't demand an unreasonable amount of tribute, Lord Itakura didn't care. His power would rise right alongside the daimyo's in the region, but all he could foresee was the daimyo's greater status and resent it in advance.

Then one day not long after the discovery, a man with an ugly heart came to him and said, "Why should Lord Itakura pay the Lord of Fire for diamonds placed by the gods on his ancestral lands and mined by his subjects?" How this man even knew of the discovery was a question Lord Itakura didn't think to ask. Within days of that meeting, Lord Itakura gained a new minister and confidante. The first counsel from the new minister was: "Don't ask questions." The lord took this advice and prospered by it. Sodegaura, now home to a powerful new criminal organization, was not so fortunate. Riches which should have led to a booming economy instead were kept off the books, while slums slowly grew courtesy of criminals and the economy meandered along. With slums grew desperation which brought one of its oldest bedfellows, depravity.

Naruto knew only a little of that story from Oka, and wouldn't learn the rest until it was time to 'interview' the big movers and shakers of the conspiracy. It was a prospect he found both gripping and urgent…maybe even more urgent than rescuing kidnapped children. While he moved deeper into the mines, his heart briefly rebelled against that sort of moral triage, but his mind reassured him that getting to the top was the best way of dealing with the problem. It was justified, not justification…right? And yet, somewhere in his head, in a place he hadn't been in years…efficiency wasn't what he had in mind when he imagined dealing with the powers that be. What he imagined was something wetter, redder, and louder. It had been years since his mind was so bloodthirsty, but then he recalled also that it had been years since he'd been so angry, and perhaps never since he'd had such good cause.

'_And what's wrong with that? These…people…see what they've done! How many families ruined, how many lives ended, how many lives destroyed by what they've seen? Not to mention endured!'_

Yes, that's right. He didn't look forward to inflicting horror for its own sake, it would simply be necessary. It was just…helpful that they deserved it. And if it must be done, and if they deserved it…why _not_ enjoy it?

'_Why not indeed?'_

Strangely reassured – for Naruto did not often have to _think_ so much about what was right and wrong – he continued into the deeper darkness, calm in his heart and head.

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"Move it you dust-sucking scum!" the guard growled, adding emphasis with a truncheon to his cruel words. The miners, slaves in fact at this depth, cowered and hurried along the claustrophobic corridor. The design this far below the surface lent itself to easy tyranny; there was literally no room for any of the lazy slaves to try and stop to rest, and at the other end another count would be taken, and gods help any laggards. The guard was completely apathetic to the sniffling and tears, though to be fair there really wasn't very much of either. Such things had been beaten and terrorized out of the slaves early on in the business of collecting diamonds by guards who didn't want to be bothered with a lot of annoying crying.

"So what's the word on those Leaf-loving kids topside, eh?" his comrade asked once the slaves were shuffled further down to another day of dangerous and backbreaking toil.

"Pretty Boy's keepin' `em all turned around is what I hear. Got `em mired down in meetings and all that kinda shit. Political stuff, I dunno," the first guard answered with a shrug. Wiping a bit of blood off his cudgel on this trousers, he buckled it back onto his belt. It was still at least half an hour before their superior showed up for inspection. Plenty of time to shoot the shit, and what else was there to do? The whiny women and children were hardly going to be a problem, after all.

"That's a relief," his companion replied. "Let me tell you, whatever their reputation is if even one of them found out about what's going on under their feet, we'd all be sporting some red smiles if you know what I mean." The guard shuddered, but his tone was almost that of a man enjoying a scary story. Both guards were comfortable in their status, knowing they were protected by big men with big interests and deep pockets, for didn't they provide a valuable service?

"Ha! Look, I ain't gonna say I could take one of those grown-up ninja. Those guys are just fuckin' crazy as hell, can kill ya with a twitch of a finger. But these little kiddy ninja? Big deal! C'mon, you ever met a teenager you couldn't put in the ground no problem? So they can climb a tree with no hands. Burn the tree down!" The first guard nodded, patting his truncheon with one hand and his short sword with another. The former had seen much more use than the latter, which hadn't been used at all, really. "But forget that, did you see that new slut what got sent down last shift? Gods! I think I'll take a taste before the dust settles into the skin, if you know what I mean!" One of the perks of their job was basically being able to do whatever they wanted to any of the slaves, no questions asked, so long as the work wasn't interrupted.

"I have eyes, don't I?" his comrade asked with a leer. "Of course I saw her! But look, I don't want any sloppy seconds, alright? Did you forget, you got first shot at the last pretty thing that came down here!" This hopeless complaint was delivered with a distinct whine.

"What is this, a fuckin' restaurant? You don't make reservations, you idiot, it's first served, first come!" This witticism was delivered with a guffaw, shared by his comrade. Some jokes never got old in some minds.

"Maybe _I_ can offer a compromise to settle this argument," said a cheerful voice coming out of nowhere. But suddenly nowhere became somewhere, and the last thing the second guard saw was his comrade's laughter evaporating into stunned surprise. He slumped, dead in an instant, to be collected by someone behind him. He didn't even have time to wonder, _'Who?!'_

"There we go! My compromise worked!" exclaimed a blurry figure that suddenly appeared right in front of the first guard, who only then remembered to reach for his sword with what he fancied was blazing quickness. It wasn't. A crushing blow smashed into his wrist, and one hand was rendered useless, possibly forever without proper medical treatment. "Oh, geeze, I'm sorry! How will you brutalize your quota of victims with only one hand? You'll have to work a double shift for sure!" the figure stepped forward and then the guard remembered to scream.

"HEEEEEEEEEELP! ALARM!" he shrieked in desperation which transformed into horror at the way his voice echoed weirdly, but more at the smirk the figure-a young man, he could see now-wore at the sound. It was a young man, long, lean, and undeniably mean with some sort of weird ink work on his face. The fact that the guard could see these characteristics beneath a chiseled headband of Konohagakure was what fueled his scream more than anything. Everything he'd ever heard about shinobi, the worries his companion had been voicing just – was it really just a minute ago? – flooded into his mind. He could never be allowed to live through this having as an enemy seen the face of a Konoha shinobi in these circumstances. Cops, well he hadn't _prepared_ for cops, but they were at least a part of his life already. They were to be expected to an extent. But _this?_ _'There's not even any blood!'_ he realized, though of course the young murderer in front of him should've been covered in the stuff, right?

"The gratitude of those I help is really the only reward I ever need!" purred the young man. A predatory, satisfied smile crossed his face before twisting into a pout. "Oi, oi! But really my job's only half done, right? I mean, _you_ didn't want sloppy seconds, but then again _nobody_ does, neh? So really the only solution is to make sure _nobody_ gets sloppy seconds, and there's only one way to do that, right?" With a flourish the man's hand suddenly wielded a matte black blade of some kind, nothing he had ever seen before. Just a slender pyramid of metal…honed to a razor's edge, he noticed with a tremble. He had no trouble seeing _that_, since his gaze was riveted on the thing.

"That leaves us with a question, though, doesn't it?" the man asked in a casual tone. "Who gets to help make sure there's no sloppy seconds, and who gets to reap the rewards?" A deceptively lazy flick of the blade and his belt parted like butter, sending bloodstained trousers down his legs. He pissed his drawers a bit, but was fortunate that he'd relieved himself before coming on shift-less embarrassment that way, for whatever it was worth. "Yes, it's a real dilemma. Like I said, the job's only half done, and I _hate_ half-assed jobs. It seems to me that there's a few ways I could solve the problem. I wonder who'll get on my good side? That other guy, he looked pretty stupid. Definitely the silent type, I can tell," he cocked his head back…but the corpse had already disappeared, the guard noted with a shudder.

"_You_, though, you're downright chatty, ain'tcha?" the young man asked gleefully. "I'm sure you can tell me all sorts of juicy gossip to make my decision easier, right? _Right?_" he asked casting a thoughtful glance down to the guard's soiled underwear. It was unnecessary, but the murderer seemed to enjoy it just the same.

"Right, right, of course right, anything you wanna know! _Everything_ you wanna know, just not me, please please _please_ not me!" he wailed, the last of any hints of defiance gone with the hopeful look the shinobi gave him. It was an expression the guard should have recognized, but didn't, never having watched himself in a mirror before. The look of a man anticipating torment and humiliation on another human being. It was a look that had reduced many victims to quivering submission just like it did him, but the guard was too stupid, too selfish, and too narrow-minded to realize the irony that was so amusing to his captor.

"Start talking. Open up with this guy coming to make inspection in about twenty minutes, eh?" the man commanded in a cold voice. Gone was the jocular sadism, the smirking promise of cruelty. The promise was still there, but the humor was not.

There was nothing for the guard to seize on to make an effort at resistance or even prevarication. Even if he weren't already terrified of his strange captor – _'and probably murderer' _a gibbering, knee-shaking part of his mind moaned – the man's weird conversation just added another layer of bafflement. Within moments anything useful exited his mind by way of his mouth, but strangely his captor looked even _more_ excited and vicious than before. Had the guard not been soiling himself in fear, that might've been cause for concern.

"Good boy. That'll help out a _lot_ in butchering your coworkers." He looked mildly disappointed when the guard didn't react to that; either he just didn't give a damn about the other guards, or he was too frightened, or probably a bit of both. "Now, unfortunately I really don't have time to finish our business properly, but there's something I've been meaning to try. I'm _really_ glad you could help me out with this, too." The prisoner didn't get a chance to wonder at the meaning of these words, because a terrible blow drove through his right chest and thrust him up against the rocky wall. His face twisted in shock, and then fell slack of any expression at all.

Naruto stared down with clear blue eyes at the guard, studying with interest his forearm disappearing into the man's right lung. Once the blow was struck, he could feel the man's ribs scraping against his skin. Actually, cutting into his skin, which would be a pretty serious health risk – gods only knew what this scum was infected with – but he didn't have to worry about that kind of thing. The tension on his arm grew substantially after just a brief moment, dragging it down, so he looked at the guard's face. _'Damn, he's dead already. Doesn't even look like he felt a thing! Guess there are advantages to being a pussy. When it was me, this hurt like hell.'_ Withdrawing a seal from a pouch, he slapped it onto the guard's skin careful to disentangle his arm from the man's innards before doing so. The mutilated corpse vanished in a puff of smoke, the only trace of him a thick coating of blood on Naruto's arm and some puddles on the floor.

The stink of fear was still heavy in the air, joined now by the metallic tang of blood. Naruto flared his nostrils and inhaled deeply, savoring the aroma and committing it to memory. _'Beautiful.'_ Was there anything better than putting terror in the heart of someone who really, truly deserved it? But there was still work to be done, so he got back to it. First thing was to handle the evidence. Fortunately there was plenty of dirt and gravel on the floor, which when kicked and scuffed over the liquids cut the scent down nicely. Not _completely_, but luckily not many people had noses as sharp as his and even if they did, fear and blood were not uncommon scents down here anyway.

Handling the impending inspection – which Naruto hoped to turn into a perfect ambush – would be tricky, but he could explain the scent away by claiming to have administered some discipline to a prisoner. Gods knew it happened enough down here, from what he could tell. But the trick would have to be better than what he'd pulled so far down here, since by the guard's description the 'superior' he referred to was a shinobi, or at least had some training. There might not be _time_ to interrogate one of those, and depending on the enemy's rank Naruto didn't have the skill for that anyway. But to ambush and kill silently? Oh, that he could mange, he thought with bloodthirsty eagerness as he cloned himself. The two clones looked…_different_ somehow, which was a pretty strange thing to think since they were him after all, but he didn't have time to dwell on it. Vanishing into the rocky wall the original Naruto waited in total silence while the two clones transformed into the guards and began a continuation of the previous lewd, sadistic banter. Maybe he'd capture, maybe he'd kill…either way, fine by Uzumaki Naruto.

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"We have a serious problem, guys."

"What? I don't understand, Sakura-san, what's the problem?" Hinata inquired with a worried glance around. Team 8 minus Akamaru (again on guard duty at the door) along with Sakura and Naruto were just finishing lunch. They'd had word through what Naruto termed the 'United Slug Postal Service' that reinforcements had already arrived near Sodegaura and they expected to be contacted any moment now. With their usual diplomatic efficiency Team 8 had manufactured a break from discussions for 'consultations' amongst themselves, though the prevarication would only last until their rivals learned who was knocking at their front door.

But perhaps Sakura had discovered an eavesdropper or something of the like. A reflexive manipulation of chakra and her Byakugan was engaged. An instant later Hinata knew _exactly_ what Sakura meant. "Naruto-kun! Or rather, _not_ Naruto-kun!" she blurted in amazement, staring at what was to her incredible eyesight clearly a shadow clone and not the original.

"What? C'mon, that's nuts, he ain't a clone! I can smell'm and everything!" Kiba barked in amazement. He drew back his fist to strike Naruto and prove he was right, but a warning head shake from Hinata stopped him. Intrigued, he leaned closer to Naruto and took another deep whiff. "Yup, that's classic Uzumaki stink alright," he nodded reassurance, but stared intently at Naruto. The nose may know, but it hardly ever pays to bet against Byakugan eyes.

"Sakura-chan, what're you talking about?! I ain't a clone, just like Kiba says! I mean, he can smell me, right?" Naruto exclaimed in surprise, eyes wide and waving his hands frantically.

"I cannot say whether he is a clone or not," Shino said calmly, serving as the usual detached rational counterpoint to Kiba and Hinata. "Naruto has proven quite adept at discarding or avoiding my insects lately. One of my queens informed me he had gone underground briefly, but then returned. She informs me this is definitely Naruto," he informed his teammates quietly.

"So sorry Kiba-kun, but your nose is mistaken," Hinata replied with a shake of her head. "Shino-kun, now that I study him…it…I can see one of your insects. Perhaps because they feed on chakra, and this clone is formed of his chakra, it doesn't notice a difference?"

"That is possible," Shino nodded after a moment's consideration. "I had not considered the details involved in tracing shadow clones. The deception would only prove effective with a shadow clone, though. My comrades would note a body formed of earth or water, for example." What he didn't say, but was obvious to everyone, was that since shadow clones were literally made of _nothing_ except chakra, there would be no other information for the insects to report.

Kiba's argument was cut short when he realized, along with everyone else, that 'Naruto' had abandoned his defense. The clone – even Kiba acknowledged it now, the evidence was just too compelling no matter what scent tickled his nostrils – sat nervously, waiting. Eyeballing his teammate with special wariness.

"Well, that's a relief," Sakura finally said after a long pause. She was clearly mastering her temper, since her usual method of dealing with Naruto-related outrages like this – blunt force trauma – was obviously contraindicated in this case. "So this _is_ a shadow clone, made by Naruto of himself then?" she asked, wanting to be perfectly clear.

"Oh, yes," Hinata replied. "The chakra is undeniably his. It's…distinct," she said with an unreadable glance at the object of discussion, which shifted awkwardly. "It could be possible for someone to impersonate him so well, or to create a shadow clone to do so, I suppose. But to do that, and use his chakra, _and_ have his scent, which I gather is another twist Naruto puts on his clones and transformations? Impossible." Bright admiration flitted across her face for a moment before wilting as she realized just what that meant. Naruto was…somewhere, and didn't want his comrades to know about it. She couldn't imagine any good reason for that.

Sakura studied Hinata keenly for a moment when the heiress noted Naruto's unique chakra. _'Does she know?'_ No way to tell…but she was Hyuuga, and Sakura knew better than most how 'distinct' her teammate's chakra was. "Yeah, sorry Kiba. Something else Naruto picked up on his training journey with Jiraiya-sama. His clones smell like him, and his transformations _don't_ smell like him. He was going to keep that for a surprise next time you two sparred, but…fuck him," she spat furiously at the clone. _'How can he do this to us?! We're on a goddamned mission! What in hell is he _doing?!' Unfortunately for Naruto, that _wasn't_ 'Inner-Sakura' screaming inside, either.

To his credit, the clone had the good grace to look ashamed of himself. It was a bit of weirdness, had Sakura the detachment to consider it: how much blame should this clone get for what its maker did? As for the clone, it desperately wanted to dispel and send its information along to its creator – and thus avoid Sakura-chan and Shino's scary glares – but it didn't quite dare. "I can explain," it offered meekly…

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Had he felt even the slightest doubt that his late, unlamented acquaintance was being truthful, Naruto would've felt relief when the superior came right on schedule, making the rounds. This grizzled, ugly man was clearly a more serious customer than the two guards he'd slaughtered more or less effortlessly. Scarred, which hinted he'd be less prone to a prey-like shock reaction. Muscular, suggesting he didn't get his job by being someone's brother or son. And aware, yes indeed quite a bit more aware than his late subordinates. Three sets of eyes noted his nose twitching, catching the scent of blood and just a whiff of urine in the air. That, that was a part of the shinobi skill set.

But not aware enough. "What, had some trouble with one of the slaves?" he asked in surprise. If a man melted into rock could sigh in relief, Naruto surely would have. This man didn't know the scent of his mens' blood.

"Yeah, she'll be a real treat breakin' in after her shift," one of the Naruto-guards smirked, leering at the other two. "Not sure how she got this far down without understandin' the situation, but she'll get a helluva education tonight! Got her a starter course already in fact," he patted his truncheon fondly.

"Ahh, lucky boys. The wife'd cut my throat, or worse my balls, in my sleep I ever tried anything like that," the senior man shuddered. "She knows who's boss but I swear she's just crazy on some things. Insatiable though so it all works out," he leered back at them in turn. The two clones guffawed heartily at that – this man fancied himself quite the humorist – and chatted for a few minutes on the varied attractions of their fairer sex. The conversation shifted naturally enough to the ongoing influx of immigrants to Sodegaura , a trickle of which found its way down into the mines either as labor or, after a brief probationary period, _paid_ labor.

Thanks to a blend of Naruto's incongruous skill at infiltration and the man's supreme lack of wariness, there was no difficulty in discovering that, as far as the guard knew, there had been no changes lately in the mines. There would be no unexpected foreman or warden strolling up to cause trouble. Taking greater care this time – there was the background that sense of smell implied to worry about, after all – three figures struck simultaneously. One delivered an brutal and stunning blow to the solar plexus, sufficient thanks to surprise and power penetrate the shield of muscle; the other, also disguised as a guard, struck decisively at the guard's Achilles tendon, and thus even if he weren't stunned he wouldn't be going anywhere quickly. The third figure, flowing out of the stone wall, reprised earlier techniques and everything within a meter radius was rendered opaque to five senses, and unremarkable to the sixth sense, the shinobi skill which detected chakra.

The faces of the guards went from crude, misogynistic humor to a frightening blend of mercilessness and detachment, then stood guard outside the radius of the techniques. Out of nowhere a fourth figure appeared, made a careful study of the prisoner, then changed shape to mimic and stepped outside the circle as well. The third figure, towering now over the guard who had fallen to the ground clutching his savaged leg weakly while still gasping for breath, studied him intently. The stare was mostly for effect, though; Naruto was quite confident he had this man's measure already from his covert observation, and it took no time at all to note that whatever hidden depths the guard had, Naruto had penetrated deeper with his surprise attack. For instance, it was easy to see the man was shocked at his doppelganger; the pause then greater expression of fear exposed his awareness that the clone could be expected to fool anyone he knew.

"K-k-kasi-no, no, you're not him, _who are you?_" he wheezed helplessly. To his credit, at least, he didn't soil himself. Naruto nodded appreciation and tossed the man a bandage so he could staunch his wound. The beginnings of a promise to reward information, without speaking a word.

"Me? I'm the man who's gonna help solve your problems with that shrew wife of yours!" Naruto grinned toothily, then began to reprise his conversation with the guard he now impersonated to forge the second link in an informative chain. It would be difficult, demanding work once the man recovered from his initial surprise and might even, depending on how good he was, prove fruitless in spite of Naruto's preparations. He wasn't an interrogation specialist, no matter how frightening he seemed right now. _'But I shouldn't complain. On-the-job training, right?'_ he nodded to himself with an edged smile.

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Story Statistics:

Released: 1-15-2009 (yikes!)

Word Count: Approx. 5600

Reviews: 211, up from 164. Not that I can blame folks for not reviewing since the last chapter, heh.

Hits: 64540, up from 34217. 6235 on last chapter. Whew! Well even if I haven't been updating people are still reading, that's nice to know

Story Favs: 229

C2s: 54. Man, that's a MAJOR increase! I believe I owe part of that to a forum a bud of mine plugged my story on, 'TFF' I want to say? I'm sure I'm misremembering the acronym…I'll correct it later.

Story Alerts: 281

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Author's Notes:

OK folks, I'm back officially on the horse. Lemme `splain why it's been so long. See, at first I was just irritated with canon. That's normal, it happens, right? Time passed. Then work and family cropped up in big ways to take over more of my free time. That happens too. More time passed. Periodically I would come back to this chapter and work on it, but the more time passed the harder it got. Suddenly it's a new semester, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas. Anyway, long story short, a variety of factors made procrastination much easier and more enduring than it should've been. I'm sorry about that. To those five or six of you ;) that have enjoyed my story, if you're anything like me that's very frustrating as a reader, but I haven't heard any of the tedious bitching and whining that I sometimes see. So, thanks for that.

Hopefully this chapter was enjoyable to y'all. The main focus here is that Naruto is slipping even deeper into a slightly Kyuubi-induced evil, though I hasten to add that it's evil with justification, and he is completely unaware of it. No slit eyes, no broader whiskers, no reddening chakra, if Hyuuga Neji were to stare at Naruto straight-on with Byakugan eyes, he wouldn't see a hint of demon. That's the kind of problem that's cumulative, and if Kyuubi gets away with it here, next time will be easier. Another focus is that things are beginning (finally!) to come to a head for Sodegaura. The military of the Fire Country is in the front yard, Naruto is in its rotten underbelly, and Team 8 and Sakura are within and stoutly resisting any attempts to deal with them quietly. Also, Naruto is beginning to see signs of more serious shinobi involvement in the mines, and he's only just getting started. On the romantic front, Maaya has returned. I enjoyed writing her and it seems a good number of people enjoyed reading her, so I look forward to seeing more of her

These are all things I'm going to be building on in the next chapter, where the proportions will be reversed: more everyone else than Naruto this time around. My very next step is to begin an outline of what will happen next chapter, followed by another chapter update within two weeks. That's by or before 1-29-2009. So, we'll see if I'm a man of my word or a wimpy procrastinator. Heh, I'm even more curious to see what'll happen on that score than y'all are!;)

As to reviews, I want (for my own satisfaction) and need (for my own education) them more on this chapter than I probably ever have for any other. I mean, it's been so long, right? So, anything informative y'all could drop on me with that little button at the bottom of the screen would be even more appreciated than usual. And, for what it's worth, I enjoy talking about stories and good ideas find their way into it.

So, to everyone who I haven't alienated by so many months of non-updating, thanks very much for reading, and I hope you enjoy!:)


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